Nostalgia

William took his first plane ride last week - which also marked his first trip, his first time to meet Austin’s parents and brother, his first time to meet my aunt “Lolly” and his first time to meet his Mimi. That was the initial purpose of the trip, though we had lots of fun filling our time doing other things too.

We had a wonderful time, and William really seemed to enjoy it. When we’re at home and he’s tired he has no trouble falling asleep. He just closes his eyes and he’s out. But the entire trip, starting with the plane and not ending until we returned home, he tried with everything in him to stay awake. There were so many new places, new faces, new smells, and new things to look at that I guess he just didn’t want to miss anything! He was so tired that Thursday morning after his 7 am feeding when he is usually awake for 4 hours he slept for 2+ more hours! Austin didn’t mind as I heard him start to snore before I had even turned the light off.

The trip, wonderful as it was, was so nostalgic for me. I don’t want to put the words in writing that this might have been the last time I’ll ever sleep in Mimi’s house - but its hard to ignore the elephant in the room at the same time. Mimi has had a few health issues pop up this year that have been pretty hard on her, and now we have found out she has lung cancer. At her age there is no sense in trying to treat it, so I can only assume it is a matter of time before the cancer takes over completely and her body shuts down. Because of this, the entire trip was flooded with memories from time spent in her house: sitting in Lolly’s room while she put on make up pretending not to be mesmerized, playing with my brothers and cousins in the “green room”, playing “Old Maid” with mimi at the kitchen table, loving to look at all the pictures on the walls of her family through the years, grabbing candy from her candy jar each time I entered and exited the front door...the memories just kept coming. Each time I walked into a room I was reminded of something new, and I just kept reciting memory after memory for Austin to hear. It was as if my subconscious was trying to retain every moment by recanting them for Austin.

Mimi has been such a blessing in my life as she is a remarkable woman and an even more remarkable grandmother. To say that she has lived a great life is an understatement, and I realize that at 92 years old not only is she probably ready to go, but she has surpassed most expectations of what a “lifetime” is. Just think of all the parts of history she has seen from 1917 until now! However, losing her will leave a hole in my life that would be impossible to fill. With the loss of her house I will also see my memories fading away. There are things I haven’t thought about since they happened, moments when I didn’t realize we were making memories, that will fade away with her house. Even though I can’t think of all of those things, it makes me sad to know I’ll lose them forever.

I couldn’t be more thankful that we made the decision to take a short trip to Dallas to spend some time with her. I thought the love a grandparent had for his/her grandchildren was unique and as good as it gets, but I learned this week that there is an even greater admiration and love for one’s great grandchildren. William will not remember this trip, but the look in Mimi’s face as she stared at him is one memory I will surely not forget. I will treasure the love she has for him forever.