Everyone needs a missjan

It's interesting the way God works.

When I was a kid I used to tease my mom for her frequent phone calls with her friend, Missjan. At the time, the Headline News was marketed a lot - advertising that they will keep you up to date every 30 minutes. So I used to joke that when the phone rang it was just the headline news.

Jan was one of my mom's best friends, and Marty was one of my dad's. So naturally they were like second parents to me. Jan cooked for me, carted me around to appointments and events, occasionally told me what to do - she was my mom when my mom wasn't around.

I'm not sure, though, when the relationship shifted from a parental type relationship to a friendship. It's one of those things that you can't pin point, but one day you realize you are sitting at the Cheesecake Factory having lunch on your 21st birthday with one of your closest friends.

When did it happen?

Was it when my dad was sick? Or when my mom remarried? Or when I graduated and went to college? Or was it there all along?

I've learned a lot from missjan. I've learned about hosting parties, cooking, coordinating events, and biting your tongue at all the right times. I've learned about supporting people even if you don't support their decisions, being a friend, being a wife and being a mom. I'm so thankful for all of the ways in which she's taught me about being a better person, and I'm equally thankful that there have been times when she has actually needed me. For support, entertainment, help or just company - I'm glad that I've been able to be there when she's needed me.

So just like in January when I wasn't sure how to address Rob - happy birthday to my second mom, my mom's friend, my friend's mom, but most of all to my friend. Love you, miss you, and hope to see you soon.


- manda