Melted and Broken

It's interesting that when someone "melts" your heart it is a good thing, but when someone"breaks" your heart its a bad thing. Last night Austin did both - but ultimately it was a good thing overall.

We had to go to our monthly FRG meeting (family readiness group - a group for army families) and I don't think William likes the FRG. Last month he cried through the whole thing and Austin walked around with him, and last night he started screaming the second we got into the meeting room. Austin ended up leaving and taking him home to feed him and get his bath started, and throughout the meeting my mom kept asking if we needed to go home to take care of William. I kept thinking "Austin has him, he's fine" but it never occurred to me that my mom didn't know how involved Austin is.

When we got home after the meeting Austin was finishing William's bath and we carried on the rest of his bed time routine. I was rocking William and Austin was putting away some blankets when my mom said "Austin I was so proud of you tonight". Austin asked her why and she said "Because you just took William, brought him home, weren't uncomfortable and you just knew what to do". I added "Austin, not all dads are as involved in all aspects of raising babies". My mom explained that a lot of dads are detached from the every day care of their babies, don't do all the bedtime stuff or feeding stuff, etc. I think traditionally it fell on moms because moms always stayed home so they know better what the baby needs whereas traditionally dads were always away working. Now it is just "normal" for it to work that way. Austin responded, so matter-of-factly, "Well, I know what its like to never have a dad around and I don't want that for William".

It breaks my heart that Austin had to miss out on so many things that fathers can provide to their children, but it melted my heart to think of how wonderful a father he is and is going to be as a result of it. He used to worry that not having a dad would hinder his ability to be a good father, but I think its done the exact opposite. William is one lucky little baby!