Gotta Love Technology

Some people are very good at remembering and acknowledging birthdays, and Mimi was one of those people. She had a birthday book which she looked in frequently to buy cards and make sure they were in the mail on time. Because of that, I made a conscious effort years ago to make sure I never missed her birthday. Having the number-brain I do, after a couple of years of seeing it written out I had Nov 12 ingrained in my brain. That didn't stop me from obsessively writing it in all my calendars, though, and typing it into all of my electronic calendars. So even though I don't think I'd ever forget it, I had reminders everywhere so that just in case my brain failed me I would be sure to acknowledge her birthday.



That was all wonderful, until I started getting those reminders last night. My computer at home was set to remind me 12 hours prior, so I had a notification. My phone was set to remind me on the day of, so it woke me up at midnight with a notice. Then I got to work and my work computer notified me again. Oh, and every time I look over at my weekly planner I see it written in red ink. So there's no way I'm going to forget.

Which is good. I don't want to forget. But I'm at a weird place where I don't know if I want to remember either. I see her name in my cell phone address book often, and I am torn between deleting and keeping. How can I possibly delete her? But it hurts to see it at the same time. Thus is the case for the birthday reminders, too. How can I possibly turn off my annual auto-reminder on my phone? That seems so cold.

So I won't. And this time next year maybe the reminders will be greeted with more of a smile, a little less pain. That's how grief goes, I've found.

And, to turn the mood from sad to happy - I am choosing to replace sad thoughts with happy memories. Anytime I have a sad thought today (not just about mimi, but about anything...and sad also includes mad in this instance) I am replacing it with a happy mimi-memory. To replace the sad thoughts of the auto-reminders I am thinking of.....

When we used to play Old Maid! She had a very used deck of old maid cards, and at some point one of the grandchildren had made a large crease in the "old maid" card. So, when playing one on one we always beat mimi because we cheated and looked for the crease. Maybe she made the crease blindingly obvious to let us win, you never can tell with grandparents. They're so tricky :) I loved playing Old maid with her, and I probably would have loved it even if I did lose once or twice :)

So - happy birthday Mimi. Thanks for giving me such happy things to celebrate on Nov 12.