The favorite question for people to ask when they hear where we are moving is, “Did you ever picture yourself wanting to be a California girl?” I get that a lot, or I get some variation of that. “Have you EVER wanted to live THERE?” “Do you LIKE California?” I think the reaction to California is one of more shock and confusion than if I had said we were moving to Germany or Italy or Australia or Korea. Those places are foreign countries, but people (myself included) seem to put California on the list of planets in outer space. Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Saturn, California, Jupiter… Its just so different than anywhere else – or so it seems. I wouldn’t really know as I’ve seen very little of California and spent no time putting any thought into the states on the other side of my beautiful mountain range. The answer to the big question is no – I’ve never pictured myself in California nor have I ever wanted to be a “California girl”. I don’t know that 2 states are more polar opposite than California and Texas, and I’m from Texas…so living THERE…eh, not really on my bucket list.
To recap, so far on MM we’ve talked about how the day care situation is gloomy and we will default with the military day care for now. We’ve talked about how the housing situation is less than desirable and we will default with the military housing for now. If I had hit “post” instead of “delete” we would also have touched on the job situation which is – you guessed it – gloomy and less than desirable. And we’ve now talked about how I’ve never wanted to live on another planet but clearly I’m defaulting with where the army is sending us for now.
I’m noticing a trend.
I don’t like being negative or negativity in general, and I don’t think that there is going to be a black cloud hanging over our heads for the next 2-3 years. I won’t ALLOW a black cloud to hang over our heads. So, I’m going to change my view point. I can’t change California – it is a conglomeration of hippies and liberals and people with more money than any single person ever needs. It is a state with more income derived within its boundaries and higher income tax rates than many others, yet somehow the government is more broke than our federal government. No, I can’t change California. I can’t change that we are going there either. I tried - I tried to actually have Austin change it, I tried to deny it thinking that may make it disappear like the monsters under my bed seemed to as a kid, and I tried to pretend to be happy about it thinking it was just a test and if I took the high road God would make it go away. But I’ve realized as we are halfway through March (which will be my last full month in Colorado) that I cannot change that we are going THERE.
But I can change how I feel about it. How I truly feel, not just pretending to try to fool God. So that’s what I will do and I’m starting today.
I just spent two and a half weeks in Texas and I was reminded of a few things. First, I was reminded of how much I love Texas. I really do. I love so many things about the state of Texas and I love love LOVE that I am from Texas. There are plenty of things I complain about – the weather, the traffic, the population to name a few – but in the end I truly love Texas. I love taking day trips and driving through the open spaces. I love wildflower season. I love how many very different cultures there are within the one state, yet how similar they are at heart. I love the food (not the 5 pounds I gained though). I love that people wave at you no matter where you are and that you are always greeted with a smile. I love that you can make conversations in parking lots and it isn’t weird. I love all of my family and friends who I always hate to leave and I love the life I lived in Texas. Texas is still very much home to me.
Being there also reminded me that I always wanted to venture off and go places though. I wanted to live in Maine. I wanted to go to law school in the Midwest or the New England area. I wanted to live near the east coast and be able to walk to the pretty beaches. I wanted to see other places and settle in areas that I hadn’t ever been.
But, I know myself. I know the knot in my stomach that has been growing since I found out I’d be moving to Monterey. I know that even though I always WANTED to do those things, I would not have the spontaneity to jump up and do it. I would have gotten very comfortable wherever I had landed after college and moving to another CITY would have taken years of planning and analyzing, much less another state. And another planet? Never would have happened.
But the army gave it to me. They gave me what I always wanted but would never give myself. No, I didn’t want California – but I wanted to see other places and meet other people and see how other areas of the country live. And now I can. I will. I will be a few short hours from Disneyland and Universal Studios and Hollywood. I will be a beautiful coastal trip away from Oregon and Washington and will be able to see parts of the country I’d never have seen otherwise. Rumor has it I may even see whales from my rooftop! This assuming I have a rooftop that is accessible by ladder and that I have a ladder and that I climb on my roof. But you get the idea. I will be pushed very much out of my comfort zone. Very much. But how does the saying go? Something about risk and reward or give and take or something like that? Most military families agree that the best part of all of the moving is that nothing is permanent. If you hate it, it’s just a few short years until you’re sent on your merry way. And really, if there’s the potential to see whales from my rooftop or drive to visit Mickey, how bad could it really be?
Happy Monterey Monday – and only a handful more until I’m greeting you on Monday from Monterey. Now time to get to packin’!
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