hailing cats and dogs

Alexis and I used to think that our lives were like the movie The Truman Show. But, we were the first to admit that people would have to be really desperate to find our lives amusing. Then again, people do somehow find entertainment in the kardashians - but that's a different story. What, because they have bigger butts and smaller waists than me their lives are all of a sudden important? Ok moving on.

I now think that if my life were a sitcom such as The Truman Show I would rival The Office in comical content.

Remember my bloody mess on Sunday? Well, I did such a great job of cleaning the kitchen floor that night. I literally paced back and forth barefoot because it felt so nice. So then what happens yesterday? William grabs layla's food bowl (which apparently was too close to the edge of the table) and dumped it all out. I thought I'd ask him to help me clean up, which worked for about 10 pieces of food. Then he found that just sliding the food and crumbs all over the kitchen was more entertaining. So, I was on hands and knees scooping up all the food as fast as possible trying to keep it away from him.

But who was I failing to block from the food? Katy. And what does Katy do when she eats food that isn't hers and then sees her daddy come home? She throws up I all her excitement all over my not-so-squeaky clean floor.

I debated redoing the kitchen floor last night, until I smelled dog pee in the living room as I was cleaning up william's toys. I can only use the spot cleaner so many times before I just have to buckle down and commit to a fill carpet shampoo. So after a quick fix to the kitchen, at 9:30 last night I was shampooing my living room. I marveled in it's beauty as I walked upstairs to pass out.

I was woken up 15 minutes before my alarm (so infuriating) to the sound of hail pounding on my roof, 2 dogs panting in the corner with their tails between their legs, a psychotic cat running rampant through the house and a timid cat too afraid to crawl out from under the covers. She was completely covered, I couldn't even find her until I pulled all the covers off.

And I just sat there. Listening.

It was the kind of storm that would have seemed SO COOL if I weren't the owner of the home and the truck in the driveway. Instead all I could think about was the potential damage, and the fact that the storm could wake William up 1.5 hours early.

It's times like this when I think Alexis and I must have been right. Someone must be getting sheer pleasure out of all of this.

Me, I need a cocktail. Is it time for my private butler in Jamaica yet?


- manda