It was about one year ago when I suggested to Austin that we reevaluate our decision to end his army career in 2011. Our re-evaluation process never really finished as his deployment came up on the docket, but I had initiated that conversation. Why? Well, there were a lot of reasons but primarily it was because of the army family. I had grown to see the impact of the army family and the support system of which we are a part, and I felt a strong tug on my heart to not walk away from that family.
Case in point:
There is a family that is new to our unit who are experiencing extreme struggles right now. They were recently reassigned to our unit due to the soldier's wife being diagnosed with leukemia. He needed to be in a unit where he wouldn't have to deploy, and near a hospital capable of treating her cancer.
Tough situation right?
She was also less than 6 months pregnant when they received her diagnosis. So, at 26 weeks gestation she delivered their fourth child and currently baby and mom are still in the hospital.
Because the school year has ended the husband has to spend his time taking care of the other children and isn't able to stay at the hospital during the days like he was previously, so she is all alone. When she doesn't have infections she can see the baby, but with leukemia and her lowered immune system she is very prone to infections.
Miss Kim, william's former teacher, is in charge of coordinating meals, laundry services and is trying to figure out how to help the husband with the older kids so he can spend more time at the hospital with both his wife and his baby.
My heart breaks for those kids whose lives are being thrown into a tornado. I remember eating the generously donated meals every night. I remember spending time hopping from family to family so my mom could take care of all of the things on her plate. I remember wanting to be with my dad yet being so bored at the hospital. I remember it all, and all I've ever wanted is for no other child to have to endure that.
My heart breaks for the father. In a MUCH smaller degree I know what it is like to try to be a single parent but keeping in mind that you aren't a single parent. I know what it is like to have hundreds of decisions to make by yourself while also trying to give the other parent the ability to somewhat be involved in decision making. I know what it is like to try to figure out how to get the house cleaned, laundry done, food prepared, child entertained all alone, always worrying about your spouse, while maintaining your own sanity. I know, and I can sympathize with him although his situation is infinitely harder and more challenging.
My heart breaks for that mother. I DON'T know what it is like to be unable to take your child home from the hospital. I don't know what it's like to constantly wonder if you will even be at your son's first birthday. I don't know what it is like to have to be an on-looker in your children's lives; to sit alone in a hospital; to be unable to care for or provide for your family.
I want to be able to do so much for this family whom I haven't met, and I love the fact that there are so many other army families lining up to help out. My family was so blessed to be a part of the church family which we were, and they were so giving and so helpful. There were people lining up to help my family in ways that I still do not know to this day. There were people who sat with my dad during treatments, people drove him to appointments, people took care of my brothers and me...and those are just the parts that I am aware of. I want to be able to pay it forward. I want to know that I can somehow lighten the heavy, heavy load that this family is enduring...I just don't quite know how.
I am on the laundry duty list and am available anytime no one else signs up, but that doesn't seem like enough. I KNOW what these children are going through, and yet I still do not have a clue of how to help them. What can I do? What can I say? How can I bring any joy into their lives?
Please pray for this family. Please pray for that baby who is 4 pounds right now, fighting for his own life in this world. Please pray for his mother who is unable to bond in the way that new babies need, and that moms deserve. Pray for the father and for the other kids. And please pray that I am able to find a way to help them in the great way that so many people helped me.
And if you are one of those helpers- if you fed me, clothed me, entertained me or did things without my knowledge: thank you. Thank you a million times over, and any suggestions as to how I can pay it forward are greatly appreciated.
- manda
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