Do you remember the post I wrote when I announced that Austin was going to be deployed? If you don't, or if you weren't reading back then, let me bring you up to speed. I wrote a poised, well written and well thought out, heartfelt post as the wonderful wife that I am about how we can do this, we can handle this, we signed up for this, blahbittyblah. I closed with "but god help me if Reagan has a bleeding tail"
Well, God help me.
In case you were not an avid reader almost 2 years ago when I introduced my blog to reagan's neurosis, let me bring you up to speed on him too. He is neurotic. I think that gets you to where you need to be. If you wanna know more details or are just looking for another 5 minutes worth of time spent on the Internet, surf through the late summer/early fall of 2009 for a post about Reagan. But basically he gets stressed and chews on his tail until it bleeds. We have been using plug-in pheromones (a drain on my paycheck) for almost 2 years now and they have seriously worked like a charm. With the exception of shortly after Williams birth, Reagan hasn't ever been caught psychotically mutilating himself.
Until now. Brian is staying with us which I absolutely love, which means his dog Katy is with us which I also love. Reagan however hates anything that disrupts his life and routine, and a barking, yapping, hyper, full-of-energy dog bolting up and down the stairs does not fit into his plan. So, last night he attacked his tail. I did my best to keep my cool. I cleaned his tail, cleaned the blood drops, and decided I'd shut the baby gate and leave him in the kitchen so that he could have some personal space. When I woke up this morning there was no blood to be seen, so I applauded my efforts to keep my half sane cat happy.
Little did I know he was just waiting for me to be present so that he could let me know just how unhappy he was. About five minutes after breakfast he started losing his mind.
There I was, sitting on the kitchen floor with the baby gate closed off to the living room. Sitting in a blood bath. Dog whining at the back door to come in. Another dog barking incessantly upstairs. Cat whining at the back door to go out (he is not an outdoor cat) and whining at the gate to go out, and whining...all over the damn kitchen. Other cat patiently (to the point of annoyance) standing by the empty water bowl sending me voodoo messages to hydrate her. Child screaming at the gate, throwing toys over the top, asserting his frustration that he was alone on the other side of the gate.
Trust me William, you had the better end of the deal.
In that moment, I was certain that if I did not get out of the house one of the animals would not see tomorrow. And at that point, I honestly didn't care which one. I sat there. Defeated. I gave in to everyone. I let Layla in, I let Reagan out, I gave Nancy water, and after I cleaned up all the blood (quite a lot this time) I let William in. But still there I sat. I lost. I had thought surely I could make it more than halfway through the deployment before I'd lose my mind and lose my control, but no. It was all gone. To try to find some sort of control and peace I thought I'd take William on a walk. I had no intention of taking a dog, but Layla squeezed her way out the front door and I was all out of fight in me to send her back inside. So away we went.
After our walk it was 11:00 and I thought maybe I could get my day back. If I hurried I could grab lunch for William and myself somewhere, make it to the grocery store and back home by 12:45 when William would certainly take a nap. But, when I looked in my rearview mirror at 11:15 before we even made it to lunch and saw William peacefully sleeping I realized I had lost again.
It's sad when you wish the day done before noon.
But then the most wonderful thing happened. William cuddled in my lap the entire time I ate my lunch, and we just sat there in paradise cafe enjoying each other. After I finished eating he woke up as if an alarm had gone off, he ate his food, and then we walked outside. We played in the little water fountain/play spot of the outdoor mall for maybe 20 minutes, stopped at petco for more pheromones, and headed home. He was hilarious while we were playing outside and had me laughing the whole time. He loves being outside and is such a happy little boy.
And again, without knowing he was doing anything, William ruined my plans and in turn made my day. The rest of the day got back on schedule, I managed to get grocery shopping done and prepared for the week, and Reagan is now peacefully laying on the end of my bed.
It's almost as if this morning never happened. Too bad the blood spots on the wall prove it did.
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