It's About the Journey

I've been wanting to keep the blog updated with the move in process, but I kept thinking it'd be best to do it after the fact. It'd be good to look back and see the full picture. But, we had a little setback yesterday and I realized the cliche phrase is probably true: it's not about the end, it's about the journey.

The move in journey hasn't been easy. Finding time to actually unpack and move in while chasing a toddler away from electrical outlets and washing just-one-more-bottle hasn't always worked out. Our house often reminds me of a game of whack a mole. I think 'wow! Look how complete our bedroom looks!' Then I walk into Loretta's room to find a disaster, and things that belong in our bedroom. Next thing I know, our bedroom is a disaster while Loretta's room almost looks cute. That occurs throughout the house, every day. How we manage to have less space in a bigger house (after donating literally 15 huge moving boxes full of stuff) still blows my mind. But, despite all of that, we are making it and this craziness almost feels like our new normal.

We had the babies in a day care center for the time of day when I work. However, for a lot of reasons we decided that wasn't working out. So we have hired someone to watch them in house while I work. This topic deserves a post in itself because there are so many layers to this which I won't dive into today. it's all an adjustment, but I do think it's a better balance and definitely better for the babies. We're in week 2 of this new arrangement and it's going well. A new normal is upon us, yes?

Well, Yesterday after the babies and I picked William up from school we needed to run a quick errand. I hadn't been to target in almost 2 weeks, so naturally I found a need. We were gone for a total of 1.5 hours and in that span of time the hose to our washer busted and water began spraying in our laundry room. By the time I got home with the kids water was running down the driveway. I left screaming kids in the car while I frantically tried to figure out how to shut it off and get austin home. I took the kids out for a few more hours while austin cleared the 1.5 inches of standing water in our downstairs, and I got a damage restoration company out to assess. Where I saw some water as a mere headache for the next 24-48 hours, he saw water damage in the walls, laminate floors needing to be ripped up and replaced, kitchen cabinet issues, and overall probably 3-4 weeks of unrest until we are 'settled again'. I laughed when he chose those words. Laughed out loud. Settled again? When were we settled before? 

May 13. That's when. On May 13 I had the next 6 months 'perfectly' mapped out to a T.

But, here we are. Our downstairs is filled with dehumidifiers, wet boxes, bubbled up flooring, torn up baseboards and loads of fully wet clothes which were so conveniently located in the laundry room ready to wash. It's about the journey?

It's about the journey.

Work. In. Progress.

Everyone is different when it comes to decorating a home. Me? I like to find a place for everything and then leave it. Done. I'm not one who likes to re-paint just for fun, I don't like to move stuff around to suit my mood, I don't like to switch furniture between rooms...I just like to find a way it works and leave it alone. I'm sure if I lived somewhere long enough to need some updating of furnishings I'd do that, but so far that hasn't happened. I don't have a pinterest-worthy decorating style, I don't have a lot of flair - it's pretty simple over here. I love when I walk into homes that feel cozy and personal, or that are eclectic and different. I love seeing people's personalities shine through their decorating, but most of the time I hope my personality doesn't shine through mine because if it does, that means my personality must be a little boring. Ho hum. That's me.

But. 

Moving across the country with 3 kids doesn't offer a lot of opportunity for "unpack, put away, wipe your hands and done". No, it offers a whole lot of opportunities for me to give myself some grace on the fact that there are a pile of pictures in the corner of my office that have yet to find a home, a box in Loretta's room of "hmm, i think this stuff goes in one of the kids' rooms but I haven't looked in it in a month" and a lot of piles. Piles here, piles there. Piles of papers to file, papers to shred, things to do, things to throw away, things to donate, things to put away. Piles everywhere. "opportunities for me to give some grace" can be read as "opportunities for me to try to avoid ripping my eye balls out". 

I hate it. I don't like decorating as you go, I don't like not being done, I don't like not feeling settled. Props to the mamas who do this while husbands are deployed or TDY or otherwise unavailable with more kids than me. Props to the people who move to a new house and a week later have a house-warming party with everything all settled. Props to anyone who does it better than me, cause i feel like we've worked our butts off nonstop since ... well ... tax season I guess, and yet there's just sooooooo much left to be done. I look forward to the day I can walk through and do a photo tour of the house for the blog, but that day may just be a mirage in the desert. 

This house already feels much more like home than our house in California ever did, really. It is probably a combination of the psychological difference between renting and owning, the fact that we painted the house and made small updates to make it our "own", and the fact that we hand selected it rather than just taking a street number off of a list given over the phone by the housing office. I'm not sure what the driving factor is, but I do enjoy how much it feels like home to us. It very clearly feels like home to the boys too, and of course it's all Loretta has ever known. 

We had a great and very productive painting weekend in July before our household goods arrived - which turned out to be a brilliant idea. My mom, step dad, sister in law, niece and nephew came over and some people painted while others herded kids around for the weekend. I wished I got to paint more, but I mostly took care of kids (and took many trips to Target!) which was a contribution to the weekend in itself. 3 kids 2 and under doesn't make for a great formula for painting, but when they littles were out of the house things really moved along. We got our living room/kitchen area, boys' room, and our bedroom painted. Loretta's room was started and then finished a few weeks later, and Austin painted our closet before hanging a closet shelving system. The only areas of the house left unpainted are the hallways, bathrooms, playroom/guest room and my office - and those may remain unpainted for the long term. We have gotten a lot of things hung up on walls, but now we seem to be at about 85% completion in every room...and finishing just seems so unattainable. The playroom/guest room is done I suppose - but that's just because there wasn't much to do besides throw in some toys and a bed :) The kitchen is done, and was first priority for obvious reasons. Our bedroom has quite possibly my favorite wall I've ever decorated...but we still aren't "done" in there so I can't take my proud "finished" pictures. The boys' room is waiting on Austin to build beds, Loretta's room is waiting on us to re-finish the dresser and add the small touches, my office is waiting on...more space I think...and I just get exasperated feeling like we'll never be done. (can you hear my exasperation? i think it's coming through as I type)

You see, we both work during the day and when I'm done working I'm chasing the boys' and loving on the baby. Then we eat, do bath and bed, then when that's done we usually have 2-3 hours which we spend cleaning, working after hours (this is the real hold up here - i blame work) , and then when all of that is done we can "unpack, organize, decorate". Except not in the rooms where babies are sleeping, and not in areas that would be too noisy...

Are you seeing the problem? I'm seeing the problem. The problem is I expect to be able to have a "completed" house while also having 3 little kids. 

So, I'm trying to have a little change in perspective. I'm trying to remember that Loretta doesn't know if she has a dresser in her room or a pile of "move to the garage" items where a dresser belongs. She does know when she's being loved on. Charles doesn't know that we have his baby pictures sitting in a pile on the floor. He does know when we're watching him tornado-up the house (as we affectionately call his playing). William does know that he doesn't have a bed, but he doesn't care because he knows after our shed is done that's first on Austin's weekend to-do list and he loves that his dada wants to build him a bed. And most importantly, I know 20 years from now I won't remember what my office looked like, or if I do I won't care. I will remember the joy I got from my kids. 

So, if you happen to venture out to Killeen to see us and you walk in to find a very incomplete house, just know it's because we're busy with things far more important than pictures. I know that, even if I cringe and point out all of the things I wish we had done. It's just a work in progress, and maybe it always will be.