While I’m no stranger to moving, we haven’t actually done it that much, relatively. This is the first time we will have multiple kids to entertain for a long road trip. From Colorado to California we had one toddler, which was pretty easy. We took our time, took lots of stops ... and really, 2 on one parenting seems like a breeze now looking back. We did have the excitement of 2 cats and a dog for a total of 22 hours in the car, and my car did get broken into in Las Vegas. But, all in all, it was pretty easy to entertain and occupy our only child.
California to Texas wasn’t necessarily easy; my mom and I flew with 2 babies under 12 months and Austin had to occupy the oldest minion along with our one cat and dog. But, at that point only one of the kids had emotional ties to our old home and occupying 2 babies on a plane for 6 hours sounds a lot easier than 2 toddlers in a car for 16.
So, all that is to say, I’m entering new territory for us and I’ll welcome any tips and tricks. It’s shaping up to look like I’ll have an empty house with 3 kids for 2 weeks by myself before we start the road trip. When we leave here William will have just closed out a semester at the school he hoped to never leave and he will have just said bye to his best friends. Charles and Loretta will have said bye to what has essentially been like a Third parent when we leave our nanny, and while they may not grasp the weight of that I will and there won’t be a shortage of tears. I’m hoping to make it a fun road trip, despite all of that, and I’d like to make it to the other side without dumping a kid on the roadside. :) We haven’t nailed down arrangements entirely, but it looks like I’ll have the kids and dog for the first 8 hours, then we’ll meet Austin halfway and he’ll take a kid (or 3) in his truck the rest of the way.
I have some ideas to help make it easier and more enjoyable for everyone, but I’d welcome any more anyone may have! I know many moms and dads have navigated tougher transitions with grace and ease, so I’m hoping you’re willing to share your expertise :) I’ve gotten a few great suggestions already and im hoping to incorporate as much as I can! When it comes to getting them excited and easing the pain in their hearts, I can’t do too much. So, flood my phone/email with ideas and one day I’ll pay it forward.
Oct 15, 2017
Beauty in Letting Go
Before William was born I was moderately into crafts. By "moderately" I mean I liked crafts, but I was never at the skill or commitment level to call myself a "crafter". I did have a big collection of scrapbook supplies, paper, stickers, some sewing supplies and other misc items I'd picked up over the years.
In Colorado we had a room and desk devoted to my sewing and scrapbooking. In California we had a nook under the stairs devoted to it, but it quickly became the craft closet I visited once a month. Since we've been here? My supplies have been sitting in the footlocker and boxes they were packed in, when we moved. Every time I walked past them in the garage I cringed. The first feeling I'd get was one of embarrassment and failure as I felt I was managing my time so poorly that I didn't even have time for things I used to enjoy. Then I'd get jealous of my past self, and then I'd get resentful of my new life.
Don't misread that. I love my life. I am beyond blessed. I love my kids.
But, my kids have taken over my life. "Free" time is spent reading and fingerpainting, sweeping up endless sand and playing Simon Says on the trampoline. "Me" time is spent cleaning the areas I can never clean with kids on my ankles, taking baths to unwind from the constant tugs on my arms, and (recently) playing my flute. I don't have hours to hide away in a closet and scrapbook or do other crafts. I wouldn't trade my kids for anything in this world, but that doesn't change the fact that I did love that part of my old life and when I see reminders of it I get a little jealous. I know this is a season and I know that one day, far too soon, I'll have all the time in the world and wish I just had someone begging me to read the chicken book again. But, until that time comes, the boxes of craft supplies were just building unnecessary resentment. So, when we found out we'd be moving and we'd be close to going over our weight allotment, I knew it was time to let some of that go.
I finally brought in my boxes of craft supplies from the garage and sorted through them. I found a box full of cards I sent Austin in Afghanistan (man I was a good and loving wife), I found a box full of cards I received from friends during that same time (MAN I have the most amazing friends!!!) I found boxes of old pictures, preschool artwork, baby sonograms (sorry Loretta...third child blues...) and lots of other great memories. I ended up with "trash", "sell" and "keep" piles - and they were about even! I had a ton of great supplies and I wanted them to go to someone who would really use and love them, so I decided to list the entire tub for $20 on facebook marketplace. It was hard for me to do initially, continuing to remind myself "yeah but maybe one day..." but I stuck to my guns. I knew if I hadn't touched it in 2.5 years I probably wasn't going to anytime soon, and there may be someone who would.
The best thing happened: a girl from my small group at church messaged me and said she'd love to take it off my hands. She is a young army wife who has a deployed husband and has her own etsy type craft shop. She said she had been wanting to get into scrapbooking so this was perfect for her. When she came to pick it up, she nearly cried when she saw how much was included. It was such a gift to be able to know not only will they be used, but someone is being blessed by them. Boxes of stuff that brought me such agony is now bringing someone else such joy. And now I know that when my obligations ease up, be that in 5 years of 25, I will be free to pave a path with new interests or rediscover the old. There really is beauty in letting go.
In Colorado we had a room and desk devoted to my sewing and scrapbooking. In California we had a nook under the stairs devoted to it, but it quickly became the craft closet I visited once a month. Since we've been here? My supplies have been sitting in the footlocker and boxes they were packed in, when we moved. Every time I walked past them in the garage I cringed. The first feeling I'd get was one of embarrassment and failure as I felt I was managing my time so poorly that I didn't even have time for things I used to enjoy. Then I'd get jealous of my past self, and then I'd get resentful of my new life.
Don't misread that. I love my life. I am beyond blessed. I love my kids.
But, my kids have taken over my life. "Free" time is spent reading and fingerpainting, sweeping up endless sand and playing Simon Says on the trampoline. "Me" time is spent cleaning the areas I can never clean with kids on my ankles, taking baths to unwind from the constant tugs on my arms, and (recently) playing my flute. I don't have hours to hide away in a closet and scrapbook or do other crafts. I wouldn't trade my kids for anything in this world, but that doesn't change the fact that I did love that part of my old life and when I see reminders of it I get a little jealous. I know this is a season and I know that one day, far too soon, I'll have all the time in the world and wish I just had someone begging me to read the chicken book again. But, until that time comes, the boxes of craft supplies were just building unnecessary resentment. So, when we found out we'd be moving and we'd be close to going over our weight allotment, I knew it was time to let some of that go.
I finally brought in my boxes of craft supplies from the garage and sorted through them. I found a box full of cards I sent Austin in Afghanistan (man I was a good and loving wife), I found a box full of cards I received from friends during that same time (MAN I have the most amazing friends!!!) I found boxes of old pictures, preschool artwork, baby sonograms (sorry Loretta...third child blues...) and lots of other great memories. I ended up with "trash", "sell" and "keep" piles - and they were about even! I had a ton of great supplies and I wanted them to go to someone who would really use and love them, so I decided to list the entire tub for $20 on facebook marketplace. It was hard for me to do initially, continuing to remind myself "yeah but maybe one day..." but I stuck to my guns. I knew if I hadn't touched it in 2.5 years I probably wasn't going to anytime soon, and there may be someone who would.
The best thing happened: a girl from my small group at church messaged me and said she'd love to take it off my hands. She is a young army wife who has a deployed husband and has her own etsy type craft shop. She said she had been wanting to get into scrapbooking so this was perfect for her. When she came to pick it up, she nearly cried when she saw how much was included. It was such a gift to be able to know not only will they be used, but someone is being blessed by them. Boxes of stuff that brought me such agony is now bringing someone else such joy. And now I know that when my obligations ease up, be that in 5 years of 25, I will be free to pave a path with new interests or rediscover the old. There really is beauty in letting go.
Sep 19, 2017
Playing to a Different Tune
When all is said and done, I think one of the best things to come out of our 2.5 years in Killeen will be my reintroduction to my flute. Before this summer I hadn't played (for longer than maybe 10 minutes) since high school. I recently had the opportunity to audition for a local volunteer symphony. I only had about a week to practice before my audition and I hadn't looked at sheet music in 15 years, so I wasn't overly confident I'd even make it through a song. I was surprised to find that I was actually pretty good. Obviously not where I was once, but, all things considered, I was very impressed at how much I retained after such a long drought. I practiced every day for that week and I got fairly confident on the pieces for the audition. I learned they had auditioned 32 people o different instruments already and only 5 made it, so I was realistic about the possibility of not making it.
I was honestly blown away by my own performance and the feedback during my audition. The conductor (who is a famous flutist himself! good thing I didn't know that before) was overflowing with compliments. He complimented my music education and asked where I went to school. When I told him the name of my band director and school district he said "ah yes, now it makes sense". Naturally I had to pass that compliment along, so I sent a message to my former band director to tell him the story. Again, I was blown away by his response. "I'm glad you're playing again, you're a very talented musician and that doesn't go away".
Me? A talented musician? That really made me take a step back and think for a minute. I spent 3 years playing piano and then 7 years playing flute and piccolo. Never in those 10 years would I have said I was a talented musician. I don't think I would have even said I was "good". I spent those years, especially the last 4, so focused on trying to be perfect and trying to be the best that I completely missed what I was doing. A classmate was always ahead of me for flute first chair, and when I thought maybe I could pass her up someone 2 years younger came in and blew us all out of the water. (she's phenomenal, btw, can't blame us for being left in her dust) When I switched to piccolo I thought for sure I'd be the best in the district, but then a flute player at the high school down the road switched to piccolo and she was always a few steps ahead. I could never catch Amanda on flute and I could never catch Amie on piccolo. I wasn't the best and that's all I ever saw.
Being in band in high school was one of the best decisions I made in those years. I had a director and mentor who cared about me as a person and helped me through very difficult years. I developed leadership skills as the drum major (read: I like to boss people around). I made friends who made a lasting impact on my life, some of which are still my close friends today. I stayed out of trouble as I stayed busy, and I really believe music helps education. But, despite all of those things I never truly felt good enough because my measure of success was beating those 2 people.
Here's a life lesson it's taken me 30+ years to even begin to learn: being perfect is not what it's about. What if I had beaten Amie to be the best in district our senior year? I would have gone on to find there was someone else better in the state. I would have been so beaten up about not beating her that I probably wouldn't have allowed myself to celebrate the progress, just like I didn't allow myself to celebrate my progress over my 7 years of playing. Lesson: Progress not Perfection.
I am so excited to be a part of the symphony. I am stretching myself, pushing myself, and loving making music again. The best part so far has been the change in perspective. I am celebrating progress each week and enjoying listening to myself improve. 15 years ago all I heard were mistakes. Now, when I listen to myself, I hear beautiful music.
I was honestly blown away by my own performance and the feedback during my audition. The conductor (who is a famous flutist himself! good thing I didn't know that before) was overflowing with compliments. He complimented my music education and asked where I went to school. When I told him the name of my band director and school district he said "ah yes, now it makes sense". Naturally I had to pass that compliment along, so I sent a message to my former band director to tell him the story. Again, I was blown away by his response. "I'm glad you're playing again, you're a very talented musician and that doesn't go away".
Me? A talented musician? That really made me take a step back and think for a minute. I spent 3 years playing piano and then 7 years playing flute and piccolo. Never in those 10 years would I have said I was a talented musician. I don't think I would have even said I was "good". I spent those years, especially the last 4, so focused on trying to be perfect and trying to be the best that I completely missed what I was doing. A classmate was always ahead of me for flute first chair, and when I thought maybe I could pass her up someone 2 years younger came in and blew us all out of the water. (she's phenomenal, btw, can't blame us for being left in her dust) When I switched to piccolo I thought for sure I'd be the best in the district, but then a flute player at the high school down the road switched to piccolo and she was always a few steps ahead. I could never catch Amanda on flute and I could never catch Amie on piccolo. I wasn't the best and that's all I ever saw.
Being in band in high school was one of the best decisions I made in those years. I had a director and mentor who cared about me as a person and helped me through very difficult years. I developed leadership skills as the drum major (read: I like to boss people around). I made friends who made a lasting impact on my life, some of which are still my close friends today. I stayed out of trouble as I stayed busy, and I really believe music helps education. But, despite all of those things I never truly felt good enough because my measure of success was beating those 2 people.
Here's a life lesson it's taken me 30+ years to even begin to learn: being perfect is not what it's about. What if I had beaten Amie to be the best in district our senior year? I would have gone on to find there was someone else better in the state. I would have been so beaten up about not beating her that I probably wouldn't have allowed myself to celebrate the progress, just like I didn't allow myself to celebrate my progress over my 7 years of playing. Lesson: Progress not Perfection.
I am so excited to be a part of the symphony. I am stretching myself, pushing myself, and loving making music again. The best part so far has been the change in perspective. I am celebrating progress each week and enjoying listening to myself improve. 15 years ago all I heard were mistakes. Now, when I listen to myself, I hear beautiful music.
Sep 11, 2017
On The Road Again
The fog of having back to back babies started lifting somewhere around Loretta's second birthday, and this summer I actually spent some time enjoying rediscovering things I'm interested in. I started doodling with hand lettering and making signs with watercolors, I started looking at patterns for a quilt to make for Charles (finally), and I even got out my flute and joined a symphony (more on that to come for sure). I was really starting to do more than just survive the days.
It would only make sense that Big Army would choose that moment to reach down and stir things up. We found out at the end of the summer that we will be moving sooner than originally assumed! There are never promises or guarantees, we just always assumed we'd be here 3 years. To me, that meant it'd line up perfectly with the end of second grade and we'd pack up and move out sometime around June 2018. But, that's what I get for assuming or even just hoping for a seamless transition :) Instead, we'll be moving in December! Less than 100 days from now! 13 more weekends! Who's counting?
The exciting part, for us, is that we are going to Fort Gordon, GA which is 2 hours from some of Austin's extended family and 2 hours from my brother and his family. Icing on the cake - my brother and his wife are expecting a baby boy right around the time we should arrive! Baaaaaaaaaaby! We'll also be reasonably close to my family in Illinois and Austin's parents in Florida. We are ecstatic to be so close to family. Location, location, location.
In rediscovering my old interests, I had been looking for a segue back into the blog world and I think I may have found it. I should have PLENTY of material to get the creative writing juices flowing over the next few months and hopefully build some habits to get back into it. I'm hoping I can document some of the insanely hilarious and crazy things the kids do for future memory's sake. If nothing else, I'll keep the move documented and organized in my Moving Monday posts. I'm pretty sure I did the same back in 2012 and intended to in 2015 though I probably fell short. So, stay tuned - or don't. I don't expect this will be the most riveting thing you'll read, but hey - everyone needs something to do while they sit in line at the pharmacy, right?
Happy trails!
It would only make sense that Big Army would choose that moment to reach down and stir things up. We found out at the end of the summer that we will be moving sooner than originally assumed! There are never promises or guarantees, we just always assumed we'd be here 3 years. To me, that meant it'd line up perfectly with the end of second grade and we'd pack up and move out sometime around June 2018. But, that's what I get for assuming or even just hoping for a seamless transition :) Instead, we'll be moving in December! Less than 100 days from now! 13 more weekends! Who's counting?
The exciting part, for us, is that we are going to Fort Gordon, GA which is 2 hours from some of Austin's extended family and 2 hours from my brother and his family. Icing on the cake - my brother and his wife are expecting a baby boy right around the time we should arrive! Baaaaaaaaaaby! We'll also be reasonably close to my family in Illinois and Austin's parents in Florida. We are ecstatic to be so close to family. Location, location, location.
In rediscovering my old interests, I had been looking for a segue back into the blog world and I think I may have found it. I should have PLENTY of material to get the creative writing juices flowing over the next few months and hopefully build some habits to get back into it. I'm hoping I can document some of the insanely hilarious and crazy things the kids do for future memory's sake. If nothing else, I'll keep the move documented and organized in my Moving Monday posts. I'm pretty sure I did the same back in 2012 and intended to in 2015 though I probably fell short. So, stay tuned - or don't. I don't expect this will be the most riveting thing you'll read, but hey - everyone needs something to do while they sit in line at the pharmacy, right?
Happy trails!
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