Before William was born I was moderately into crafts. By "moderately" I mean I liked crafts, but I was never at the skill or commitment level to call myself a "crafter". I did have a big collection of scrapbook supplies, paper, stickers, some sewing supplies and other misc items I'd picked up over the years.
In Colorado we had a room and desk devoted to my sewing and scrapbooking. In California we had a nook under the stairs devoted to it, but it quickly became the craft closet I visited once a month. Since we've been here? My supplies have been sitting in the footlocker and boxes they were packed in, when we moved. Every time I walked past them in the garage I cringed. The first feeling I'd get was one of embarrassment and failure as I felt I was managing my time so poorly that I didn't even have time for things I used to enjoy. Then I'd get jealous of my past self, and then I'd get resentful of my new life.
Don't misread that. I love my life. I am beyond blessed. I love my kids.
But, my kids have taken over my life. "Free" time is spent reading and fingerpainting, sweeping up endless sand and playing Simon Says on the trampoline. "Me" time is spent cleaning the areas I can never clean with kids on my ankles, taking baths to unwind from the constant tugs on my arms, and (recently) playing my flute. I don't have hours to hide away in a closet and scrapbook or do other crafts. I wouldn't trade my kids for anything in this world, but that doesn't change the fact that I did love that part of my old life and when I see reminders of it I get a little jealous. I know this is a season and I know that one day, far too soon, I'll have all the time in the world and wish I just had someone begging me to read the chicken book again. But, until that time comes, the boxes of craft supplies were just building unnecessary resentment. So, when we found out we'd be moving and we'd be close to going over our weight allotment, I knew it was time to let some of that go.
I finally brought in my boxes of craft supplies from the garage and sorted through them. I found a box full of cards I sent Austin in Afghanistan (man I was a good and loving wife), I found a box full of cards I received from friends during that same time (MAN I have the most amazing friends!!!) I found boxes of old pictures, preschool artwork, baby sonograms (sorry Loretta...third child blues...) and lots of other great memories. I ended up with "trash", "sell" and "keep" piles - and they were about even! I had a ton of great supplies and I wanted them to go to someone who would really use and love them, so I decided to list the entire tub for $20 on facebook marketplace. It was hard for me to do initially, continuing to remind myself "yeah but maybe one day..." but I stuck to my guns. I knew if I hadn't touched it in 2.5 years I probably wasn't going to anytime soon, and there may be someone who would.
The best thing happened: a girl from my small group at church messaged me and said she'd love to take it off my hands. She is a young army wife who has a deployed husband and has her own etsy type craft shop. She said she had been wanting to get into scrapbooking so this was perfect for her. When she came to pick it up, she nearly cried when she saw how much was included. It was such a gift to be able to know not only will they be used, but someone is being blessed by them. Boxes of stuff that brought me such agony is now bringing someone else such joy. And now I know that when my obligations ease up, be that in 5 years of 25, I will be free to pave a path with new interests or rediscover the old. There really is beauty in letting go.
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