Two Saturdays ago, thrilled to be officially off bed rest, I had a list of errands William and I needed to run. Austin had to go into work to make life less enjoyable for a soldier who chose to stay out too late and get arrested the night before, so it was going to be a mommy-bear kind of day. We went to target, kohls (where our poor second child had some clothes returned and exchanged for clothes for our first), and party city. We had planned to go to Michael's but I told William we needed to go home and nap first then we'd go back later. We needed to nap because I noticed I hadn't felt Charles move in 4 hours and wanted to see if slowing down my pace a bit would wake him up.
After an hour of laying in bed and drinking cold water and sugary juice he did not stir. Scare #1.
The doctor asked me to go to the hospital for a non-stress test where they'd just monitor him for a short while and make sure he's moving. Most likely he is, the doctor said, and I just can't feel it. But better to be sure. So, I Called Austin and told him he needed to cut his soldier-smoking session short (that boy better have been singing amazing grace) and meet us at the hospital.
The nurse told me we would probably be there 30 minutes or an hour, and that she'd call the doctor to report the news before he'd approve of me going home. So we got comfortable, played games with William and watched some tv. However, an hour went by and the nurse came in without discharge instructions. Instead she came in with a saline bag and began opening the secure supplies unit to pull out needles and other IV items. All she said was 'doctor Keith wants us to give you some fluids to hydrate you'. Scare #2. Why is this scary? Because I'm always hydrated. So whatever issue was being blamed on dehydration must have an alternate, and likely worse, explanation. But - I just said ok and reluctantly gave up my hand for needle insertion.
Side note: the most painful moment of the entire day was getting the IV. I'm not even slightly exaggerating.
I had Austin take William to get a snack from the food court when I heard I'd be getting an IV. I knew I'd cry and very likely blurt out curse words (I have brought life into this world- no judgment on my pain tolerance is allowed) and I didn't want to scare William. I've learned that's what mom of multiple kids do - they just always worry about their first born first.
After about 2 hours of the slow drop of the IV my doctor stopped by. I was surprised and disappointed to see him. He wasn't already making rounds at the hospital, he made a special trip in for me. For me and my silly little non stress test.
I should mention that the monitors did indicate Charles was moving fairly often, which was good news. The movements were just too small for me to feel. However, doctor Keith had news to share which I didn't expect. He said 'we are going to bring the ultrasound machine in and look at a few things, then we will have a conversation about some options'
Options. I thought my options were when to go home and what to eat for dinner. Didn't need an ultrasound for that. But, he explained (after looking at the ultrasound) that Charles had a couple episodes early in the monitoring which indicated his heart rate dropped down into the 90's during contractions. (Remember, if been contracting for what felt like months at that point and they were just far enough apart to not be true labor) scare #3.
Doctor Keith explained that the variable heart rate indicated possible cord issues which is why he did an ultrasound. Then the ultrasound confirmed his cord was wrapped around his neck. Scare #4. It was impossible to determine how tight the cord was, how dangerous it was, if it would move on its own or if it would even impeded a successful delivery, but his heart rate was indicating that it may be an issue. He explained that babies are delivered every day with a cord around their neck and while it adds a complication it isn't always a life threat. However, his reaction to minor contractions led the doctor to believe it may be an issue for him.
So - our options: the first option we were offered was to continue monitoring for 3 more hours (ending at 8pm) and, assuming no more issues, we could go home. He would then have me return every morning at 8am for an hour of monitoring. And, assuming every day showed no signs for alarm, I'd go about my normal days after the morning appointment. The second option he offered was to induce labor. He said being 37 weeks and based on Charles's size it would likely be a safe, healthy delivery with no health problems - but that obviously isn't a promise. The argument to induce would be 'the baby is big enough, we are ready, and we would rather take the risks associated with a 3 week early baby than those associated with a cord we can't predict'
I looked at Austin and he started to say he was inclined to take option 1. However, I started to say maybe we should take option 2. But, I was a little hesitant and fearful that maybe my inclination was based solely on just wanting to be done with the pain and worry of pregnancy, and to avoid having another IV In 2-3 weeks :) so we asked what the doctor would do. He said his bias is always to deliver healthy babies so he'd probably say induce, but he would fully support either choice and really needed it to be our choice. He needed us to fully accept whatever risks we were taking on.
So - with a deadlock in the room I decided we should each call our moms and ask their opinions. Neither of them had a strong urge one way or the other and were mostly supportive of whatever we would pick. My mom and I were just about To hang up when she started saying a prayer. She prayed God would be in the room with us and have his hand on Charles; she prayed that we would have clarity and a sure sign on what God's best plan would be.
I felt like a person of little faith when my initial thought was 'ok and what sort of clear sign am I really going to get?'. But then within 10 minutes I had 2 contractions and his heart rate went into the 80's for each one. Scare #...??? Austin and I felt like that was enough of a message from God for us, so we paged the nurse to let her know our decision.
We still had William, and our go-bag was neatly packed and placed in a corner of our bedroom. So, we needed to make some arrangements before we would induce. The nurse said she'd plan to start inducing at 7:30 but we would just wait on Austin to get back. I asked if we could just start at 7:30 no matter what since it'll take hours anyway and Austin would get back soon enough but her answer was in itself a bit of foreshadowing. She said 'we never know how this will go and what direction we will need to go, so it's better to just have him here and settled before we do anything.'
At 7:45 he got back and around 8:00 the nurse started the pitocin drip. I instantly felt very strong contractions with what felt like no break in between. The nurse came in during the second contraction and said 'wow your body responds fast! If you want an epidural we better order that now because I think you're going to deliver before midnight'. I said ok and she left, but on the next contraction I began to wonder if she took 'ok' to mean let's do it or 'ok I'll let you know'. So I paged her and when she came in I started to ask 'were you going to order the epidural or do you need me to verbally say so?'
But before I finished my question it was clear she wasn't really listening. She silently walked over to my IV pole and turned off the pitocin. Then in the absolute most calm voice I've ever heard she began talking to me. Scare # oh crap.
'Amanda I turned off your pitocin. You are contracting a lot and the baby is not responding well.' -- pauses to push a pager and says: bring all hands in 8 -- then continues, 'I am going to turn you onto your left side now...ok let's try the right...ok back to the left, that's good let's stay here' I interrupted to ask who exactly 'all hands' was referring to and she said 'any available hands on the nursing floor.' As she said that 5-6 nurses swooped in and everyone began doing something different without speaking. Then my nurse said, 'ok Amanda now we are going to take you to the OR where we will meet doctor Keith and we are going to get this baby out as quickly as we need to'.
It felt like half an hour had passed but we were in the OR before 8:15 and I was in an utter state of shock. I heard every word the nurses were saying and they were asking me a lot of routine questions, but I couldn't answer. I knew the answers I just couldn't speak. Finally the doctor said 'someone needs to get her husband' and nurses began asking me for his name. I remember staring at the big, round operating lamps and thinking to myself, 'Austin! His name is Austin! You know his name just say it! Just say Austin!!!' But no words came out. I just kept staring at all of the little bulbs built into the light. Eventually a nurse just went and got him without knowing his name and he came in. I was instantly calmer having him there and was able to talk, although I didn't really think clearly or quickly.
The nurse explained that Charles's heart rate was back up now that the pitocin had stopped and contractions had slowed back down, but she said it proved that he wasn't going to make it through natural child birth. How surreal to hear that your baby would likely not survive being born if if weren't for medical intervention. She said that because his heart rate was stable the c section was no longer an emergency and they could therefore wait for the pediatrician and operating assistant and get things more ideal before operating. Ideal sounded good to me - whatever ideal was at that point.
The anesthesiologist came and did the spinal block then stood by my head talking to me the majority of the surgery. I felt the most bizarre tugging and pulling on my mid section and I was so sure they had actually cut a basketball sized hole in my belly. It felt like they were pulling my stomach from one end of the room to the other. I told Austin repeatedly that I should never hve called the doctor that day, I should have just gone to michaels and went about my day.
Then I heard it - the sweet piercing sound of a newborn cry. And without seeing him my heart burst with love. Austin went to cut his cord and watch while they got him ready for us while I laid there enjoying the sound of his vocals.
While I was waiting doctor Keith told me Charles's cord was wrapped around his neck and his midsection, and his head was bent backwards so his nose would have been the first thing out in a natural delivery -- which apparently is very difficult in mom and baby. He finished his explanation with 'you had a great intuition today and I'm so glad you called and we made these choices'. For the first time in 8 months I thought to myself, 'I like my doctor'
That's not the end of Archie's scares but that's all ill dive into today. Gotta save something for another day. So tune in later for updates on how much I adore my husband, how archie continued to scare us, and how excellent William is in his new role of big brother. (Next time being in what -- a week? A month?)
For now, let me introduce Charles Archer Wallis, born 5/24/14 6 pounds, 14 ounces and 20 inches long.
The birth of our children, cause we are 0 for 2 on avoiding those days. If we have a third we will think that through more carefully.
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