When William and I took my mom to his school before he was enrolled we noticed there was another baby that was born just one week after him. Ethan Evans is his name. I thought it was cute, maybe they could be friends when they're a little older.
Now I'm a little worried.
Last night as William was falling asleep I told Austin I thought William wanted to be an aggie today. So this morning after we took off the CUTEST ARMY PJ'S EVER we put him in his maroon onesie and some blue shorts. He looked cute as a button. After I got ready, got him ready, and got our bags all packed I took him to Goddard. I was a few minutes earlier than usual, and a few families are on vacation, so there was only one other baby there when we got there. Miss Jennifer was sitting on the floor playing with Ethan and as I looked closer I noticed he was wearing the ugliest color I've ever seen with this nasty little white logo on it.
That's right, Ethan Evans was wearing a longhorn outfit. That poor soul! Miss Jennifer laughed as she noticed William's outfit and I said, "William, you have to be skeptical of those people. I thought you would be friends but you just can't ever be sure about longhorns so watch out". Jennifer just laughed and said she was going to lay them next to each other and see what they do to hash it out. The "winner" we determined would be the baby who lasts in the outfit the longest. Ethan spits up a LOT, so I'm guessing William will win. As he should.
I'm just kidding. For the most part. Its funny that in Colorado you'd have babies wearing aggie and longhorn outfits. I wonder if Ethan will wear Texans or Cowboys stuff during football season? That could be fun too. But now I know I have to get William some more aggie clothes for 9-12 months so he can wear them to school after the aggies BTHO tu on thanksgiving day at good ol' Kyle Field.
Gig 'em aggies! :)
Jul 16, 2010
Jul 15, 2010
Birthdays
I was emailing with my friend Addie this morning about our upcoming birthday. Addie and I may have been twins separated at birth - the only thing that puts a kink in this theory is that both of our moms kind of remember giving birth. Other than that, it could be true! We were born on July 19, 1984 and it is kind of bizarre that we bumped into each other in college and became such great friends. Did I mention that it has been said that we look alike? So much so that in college someone called me Addie and made me show my student ID to prove I wasn't Addie? She was my roommate for the last 2 years of college, along with Jen, and those 2 years were even better than the first 2. When we were talking this morning I was asking her what her plans were, and she said she didn't think she'd be doing much - and that people don't make a big deal out of birthdays anymore. Which is true, but sad I think.
Why shouldn't we make big deals out of birthdays? Not necessarily by spending oogles of money, but its one day out of the year when you can celebrate that one person all by them self! (or in Addie and my case, the 2 of us.) By the way, if you just remember the number 8 for me that may help you celebrate...i wear a size 8 ring, shoe, and clothes. just fyi. I think I am getting side tracked again...
The point is - why don't we all love to celebrate other people's birthdays? If not for the purpose of celebrating their importance in your life, it gives you an excuse to do something out of the ordinary. Get a group together for a movie, go out to a fun dinner, go to a baseball game, night out on the town, movie night at home with wine and cheese (or popcorn and beer)...you can turn it into something about yourself if you don't want to focus on the other person. Kind of defeats the purpose, but I'm sure the person wouldn't mind as long as their birthday was being acknowledged and celebrated.
The real focus should be that person though. If its your spouse, you probably celebrate them on your anniversary too (if you don't, don't tell me cause you might get an earful) or if its your child you probably celebrate them every day...but other than those exceptions, it isn't often that you take the time out to focus 100% on someone else and how special they are. So why not take advantage of the one day out of the year that God designed for that purpose?
I thought about starting this on the 12th with MissJan, but I think I'll start next Monday with Addie. I think I'll write all about how much that person means to me like I have for weddings and other special occasions. Even if I can't be in Houston to celebrate with people, that doesn't mean I can't celebrate their life on my own!
In the meantime, just keep telling yourself 8. 8, 8, 8....
Why shouldn't we make big deals out of birthdays? Not necessarily by spending oogles of money, but its one day out of the year when you can celebrate that one person all by them self! (or in Addie and my case, the 2 of us.) By the way, if you just remember the number 8 for me that may help you celebrate...i wear a size 8 ring, shoe, and clothes. just fyi. I think I am getting side tracked again...
The point is - why don't we all love to celebrate other people's birthdays? If not for the purpose of celebrating their importance in your life, it gives you an excuse to do something out of the ordinary. Get a group together for a movie, go out to a fun dinner, go to a baseball game, night out on the town, movie night at home with wine and cheese (or popcorn and beer)...you can turn it into something about yourself if you don't want to focus on the other person. Kind of defeats the purpose, but I'm sure the person wouldn't mind as long as their birthday was being acknowledged and celebrated.
The real focus should be that person though. If its your spouse, you probably celebrate them on your anniversary too (if you don't, don't tell me cause you might get an earful) or if its your child you probably celebrate them every day...but other than those exceptions, it isn't often that you take the time out to focus 100% on someone else and how special they are. So why not take advantage of the one day out of the year that God designed for that purpose?
I thought about starting this on the 12th with MissJan, but I think I'll start next Monday with Addie. I think I'll write all about how much that person means to me like I have for weddings and other special occasions. Even if I can't be in Houston to celebrate with people, that doesn't mean I can't celebrate their life on my own!
In the meantime, just keep telling yourself 8. 8, 8, 8....
Jul 14, 2010
William Wednesday
We live in a changing world. Would I be a broken record if I said I couldn't believe how much has changed since last Wednesday? Well, if I am, I don't care. I can't believe it! If I hadn't titled this post "William Wednesday" I would have called it "eating, sleeping, movin and groovin" because those are the highlights of William's week.
I don't know how much a baby is "supposed" to eat, and ever since William was born I have been rather obsessive about counting his intake daily. When he was 2 weeks old he wasn't getting enough because he had no interest in eating, so the doctor told me to make sure he was getting at least 15 ounces, but optimally 20 ounces per day. Then around one month he told me 24 ounces is ideal. I used to have daily charts (yep, I said obsessive) but then I just started keeping count in my head. It was difficult for me to relinquish the counting-control when I came back to work...no one seemed to be as concerned as I was that we knew EXACTLY how much he was drinking. I'm sure it was equally frustrating on Austin, my mom, and Candace's parts as I asked them periodically throughout the days "How many ounces has he had? ... well like 2 full bottles or did he leave an ounce in one? ...are you sure its only been 2?" It was an obsession, I'll admit it. Well, Goddard fuels the behavior by writing down exactly how much he drinks - its perfect! Two weeks ago he was drinking about 25 ounces a day. A "big day" consisted of 28 ounces.
Then one day he became a ravaging animal. Maybe "ravaging animal" is a bit extreme since he is still consuming less than I take in just in my 8 hour work day, but it was such a drastic jump. We started giving him rice cereal last week and I think we timed it perfectly because that was right when his bout of hunger began and I can't imagine if he was only on formula! He is now drinking almost 40 ounces every day plus cereal!
The cereal - priceless. On the first attempt I'm not sure if he got 2 spoonfuls in total, and remember a "spoonful" equates to one of the sample size spoons at an ice cream shop! He had fun with it at first, but grew tired of it rather quickly and just wanted his bottle. After the first attempt we gave him cereal in his evening bottle a couple of times, then tried with the spoon again. With the help of a tip from a friend of mine to nearly shovel the food in his mouth he loved it! I think he likes grabbing the bowl and playing with it as much as he enjoys eating it, but then again we like that too. We've started giving him a bowl of cereal around our dinner time, then his regular bedtime bottle at 8:00. Last night he grabbed the spoon as it was in my hand and pulled it right into his mouth. He's getting so smart! I was sure he'd jab it in his cheek or up his nose, but his spacial relations have really developed and he knew exactly where his mouth was. I think its the makings of a genius :)
On the sleeping front, he has gotten onto a more regular napping routine and has been taking 2.5 hour naps at school. He sleeps a little less at night, which has disrupted my morning routine, but he's still getting a full night's rest. And I swear one night last week he grew an inch. I swear! Fine, don't believe me. But I swear he did.
And boy is he moving! He hasn't quite figured out how to get where he wants to go which has been pretty frustrating for him. One day over the weekend he wanted to go forward to get to his coveted ball, but because he doesn't know how he ended up scooting in a circle. He doesn't know to lift his belly up, so even though he can get his legs moving, his belly stays stationary. After he had made it the full 360 degrees I think he realized he had gone no where and started to fuss. I don't want to get in the habit of giving him what he wants whenever he is slightly frustrated, but he worked SO HARD to get this ball that I thought he deserved it...call me a softie, whatever. I gave it to him :) And this morning I thought he was going to rip my hair right out of my head trying to climb up to the "artwork" hanging from the ceiling at school. Ironically, he was going for his own masterpiece. Did I mention we have a genius on our hands?
Along with his incredible brilliance, he is Mr. Tough Guy. When I picked him up yesterday Miss Colleen said "Look at his muscle definition!" pointing to his...hmm...if I could only remember biology right now...upper arm muscles? Above the biceps...not deltoids, those are on your back. Not triceps, those are behind the biceps...hmm, I'll have to relearn the muscles. Anyhow, she said he was going to be a tough guy and that proved true this morning at his doctor appointment. He went in for the second half of his 4 month shots and he hardly even cared that he was poked! He gave me this look right as she stuck the needle in his leg like, "MOM, what the heck was THAT about ???" then he started to act like he wanted to cry, I picked him up and he just started laughing! Take that Miss Mean Nurse Lady! Pretty sure I cried for him though. Ahhhhh what a big tough mom he has.
All week I kept telling myself to email myself cereal pictures to post in this week's William update, but all week I told myself "I'll do it tomorrow". So, now I'm telling you I'll do it tomorrow...I wouldn't recommend holding your breath though.
I think I look down at my clock every 3 minutes at work, my legs nervously shaking and tapping the floor, just busting at the seams waiting to get out the door and go get my baby. I want to see what he'll do next!
I don't know how much a baby is "supposed" to eat, and ever since William was born I have been rather obsessive about counting his intake daily. When he was 2 weeks old he wasn't getting enough because he had no interest in eating, so the doctor told me to make sure he was getting at least 15 ounces, but optimally 20 ounces per day. Then around one month he told me 24 ounces is ideal. I used to have daily charts (yep, I said obsessive) but then I just started keeping count in my head. It was difficult for me to relinquish the counting-control when I came back to work...no one seemed to be as concerned as I was that we knew EXACTLY how much he was drinking. I'm sure it was equally frustrating on Austin, my mom, and Candace's parts as I asked them periodically throughout the days "How many ounces has he had? ... well like 2 full bottles or did he leave an ounce in one? ...are you sure its only been 2?" It was an obsession, I'll admit it. Well, Goddard fuels the behavior by writing down exactly how much he drinks - its perfect! Two weeks ago he was drinking about 25 ounces a day. A "big day" consisted of 28 ounces.
Then one day he became a ravaging animal. Maybe "ravaging animal" is a bit extreme since he is still consuming less than I take in just in my 8 hour work day, but it was such a drastic jump. We started giving him rice cereal last week and I think we timed it perfectly because that was right when his bout of hunger began and I can't imagine if he was only on formula! He is now drinking almost 40 ounces every day plus cereal!
The cereal - priceless. On the first attempt I'm not sure if he got 2 spoonfuls in total, and remember a "spoonful" equates to one of the sample size spoons at an ice cream shop! He had fun with it at first, but grew tired of it rather quickly and just wanted his bottle. After the first attempt we gave him cereal in his evening bottle a couple of times, then tried with the spoon again. With the help of a tip from a friend of mine to nearly shovel the food in his mouth he loved it! I think he likes grabbing the bowl and playing with it as much as he enjoys eating it, but then again we like that too. We've started giving him a bowl of cereal around our dinner time, then his regular bedtime bottle at 8:00. Last night he grabbed the spoon as it was in my hand and pulled it right into his mouth. He's getting so smart! I was sure he'd jab it in his cheek or up his nose, but his spacial relations have really developed and he knew exactly where his mouth was. I think its the makings of a genius :)
On the sleeping front, he has gotten onto a more regular napping routine and has been taking 2.5 hour naps at school. He sleeps a little less at night, which has disrupted my morning routine, but he's still getting a full night's rest. And I swear one night last week he grew an inch. I swear! Fine, don't believe me. But I swear he did.
And boy is he moving! He hasn't quite figured out how to get where he wants to go which has been pretty frustrating for him. One day over the weekend he wanted to go forward to get to his coveted ball, but because he doesn't know how he ended up scooting in a circle. He doesn't know to lift his belly up, so even though he can get his legs moving, his belly stays stationary. After he had made it the full 360 degrees I think he realized he had gone no where and started to fuss. I don't want to get in the habit of giving him what he wants whenever he is slightly frustrated, but he worked SO HARD to get this ball that I thought he deserved it...call me a softie, whatever. I gave it to him :) And this morning I thought he was going to rip my hair right out of my head trying to climb up to the "artwork" hanging from the ceiling at school. Ironically, he was going for his own masterpiece. Did I mention we have a genius on our hands?
Along with his incredible brilliance, he is Mr. Tough Guy. When I picked him up yesterday Miss Colleen said "Look at his muscle definition!" pointing to his...hmm...if I could only remember biology right now...upper arm muscles? Above the biceps...not deltoids, those are on your back. Not triceps, those are behind the biceps...hmm, I'll have to relearn the muscles. Anyhow, she said he was going to be a tough guy and that proved true this morning at his doctor appointment. He went in for the second half of his 4 month shots and he hardly even cared that he was poked! He gave me this look right as she stuck the needle in his leg like, "MOM, what the heck was THAT about ???" then he started to act like he wanted to cry, I picked him up and he just started laughing! Take that Miss Mean Nurse Lady! Pretty sure I cried for him though. Ahhhhh what a big tough mom he has.
All week I kept telling myself to email myself cereal pictures to post in this week's William update, but all week I told myself "I'll do it tomorrow". So, now I'm telling you I'll do it tomorrow...I wouldn't recommend holding your breath though.
I think I look down at my clock every 3 minutes at work, my legs nervously shaking and tapping the floor, just busting at the seams waiting to get out the door and go get my baby. I want to see what he'll do next!
Jul 13, 2010
The Dating Days
I was talking to MissJan yesterday and at some point in the conversation it came up that dads really take the backseat when a baby is born. Not necessarily with the wife (or maybe in some cases very MUCH with the wife, I don't know) but just in general. When I talk to people now its always "How's William", then "How are you?" and then Austin comes third, if at all. Or I hear from people "I miss William" or "I want to see William"...sometimes I'm included in there as the carrier of William (not as Amanda for sure) but Austin gets left in the dust. I've been told that's just how it goes. Then I was reading a blog that I have started following (and as a side note: ever since I wrote the post about the blog world my blog following has gone from 2 blogs to 10) and the writer is involved in the challenge to "Be the wife your husband needs you to be".
I'm not sure where or how this challenge got started, but I've seen it on a few blogs. It started June 4 and goes into August. There are topics each week to focus on, and I think all of these women are in discussion groups together and blog on their own - not sure if any of this is ever relayed back to the husbands or not, but I'm guessing that is part of the challenge. I don't want to be in discussion groups, I don't know any of the people involved in this, and I'm 4 weeks late getting into it...so I'll just have my own session by myself. It'll be my own party and I can do whatever I want! Things are better that way anyway :) The sessions are called Marriage Mondays - mine won't always be on Mondays, and it may not always be on the same day of the week. I'm just going to march to the beat of my own drum here.
I'll start from the very beginning (a very good place to start...) Week One: Remember The Dating Days
Deciding where to start the discussion on "dating days" isn't easy for Austin and me. I could start from the very, very beginning; back in 1997. But the first time we "dated" I think we saw each other outside of church maybe twice. I was in 7th grade, and he was absolutely the shyest 8th grade boy I had ever met. We were in Sunday School together, though we went to separate schools, and I was friends with his brother's girlfriend so I think it just made every bit of junior high "sense" for us to date. But, like I said, we never once actually went on a date. Austin likes to try and give me a guilt trip for breaking his heart twice, but I just laugh at the thought that his heart was possibly affected in any way when I broke up with him in 7th grade.
But the second "heartbreak" was more real. And I knew it. I didn't talk to him much between the first time I broke up with him and the second time we started dating, but again I was friends with his brother's *new* girlfriend, and we had established a larger group of friends at church. I wasn't in Sunday School with him, or any of them for that matter, but we did spend time together on the weekends. Our group of friends was split between 3 high schools, and I was the lone junior high kid, so for the most part none of us saw each other in school. I don't know why Austin decided it was a good idea that he ask me to be his girlfriend on the night that his brother and I were in a huge fight and I was steaming mad, but then again his brother and I were in fights a lot so maybe he just figured it was as good a time as any. We already had plans to go to his homecoming dance together, after my mom finally gave in and said I could go, so the natural progression was to become his girlfriend.
We dated for about 6 months, and this time I'd actually say we dated. We went to movies, went out to eat, spent time together on weekends, and of course saw each other at church. I'd still say he was the shyest 9th grade boy I had ever known though. He wasn't much for talking on the phone, but what we were good at was writing letters. This was before texting, before email, and before instant messaging on the computer (or at least before the 2 of us had access to those modes of communication) so our letters were the old fashioned type: snail mail. We'd write each other once or twice a week. I don't remember what we wrote about - I can't imagine what we had to write about. But I always ran to the mailbox, literally, when the maillady stopped by so I could see if I had another letter from my heart throb.
Austin told me he loved me about 4 months into the relationship, and he was always far more into me than I was into him. I never told him I loved him back - and looking back, I can't imagine that felt very good! But I knew that I had no idea what that truly meant, and I had no idea what I was feeling anyway, so I wasn't willing to throw that out there unless I knew I meant it.
6 months into our relationship my dad passed away, and 4 days later I decided I wanted to break up with Austin. My friend Amanda and I were on our way to see Titanic for about the eighth time, and the idea just popped in my head. I remember saying, "Let me call Austin really quick before we go". So I did, and I broke up with him. He asked for an explanation which I did not have. I still don't really know why I broke up with him, but the best reason I can come up with is that I was just out of sorts and my life was so turned around that I didn't know my right from left. I had no business having a boyfriend anyway.
I went into high school a few months later, got busy with band and friends, and started attending a new church where a lot of my friends from school went. I would visit my old church maybe twice a year, and I kept up with Austin's mom as my Mary Kay Lady. I think I did it to secretly keep tabs on what he was up to, but he was a big, cool football star at a different high school, not to mention he always had a girlfriend...I didn't have a chance in the world. To be honest, as much as I did like to keep tabs on his whereabouts and hear how he was doing, I'm not sure I was interested in dating him anyway. How serious he was about me at such a young age was pretty scary! So, over the course of the next few years Austin and I just kind of lost touch. I can honestly say I never went long without thinking and wondering...but I tried my best to keep the thoughts out of my head. It was my first puppy love, I'd think of it forever right?
6 years after I broke up with Austin I ran into his mom at church. It was sometime towards the end of my sophomore year of college. After we got caught up on how she was doing and how I was doing I asked about Austin. She told me that he had *finally* broken up with his high school sweet heart (bleh) and he was preparing to deploy that summer. She said he'd be home for a couple of weeks in June and that she knew he'd love to hear from me, so she gave me her cell phone number and told me to call while he was in town. Well, as luck would have it, one week before I had my calendar marked to call I put my cell phone in a cup of water and fried it. There would be no calling Austin. I was slightly disappointed, and after telling Alexis this she encouraged me to send him a card or something. I told her that I wasn't sure that was such a good idea because I knew how he had always viewed me, and I wasn't sure I was interested in jumping in the deep end. She kept nudging me though, as only a good friend can. I finally got the courage to send him an email by copying his email address off a forwarded message my brother had sent to both of us(not a card, but still). I was shocked when I obsessively checked my email 2 hours later and had already gotten a reply from him.
We began emailing in July of 2004. What started as a weekly commitment became a two or three times a day commitment by the end of the year. I finally had to accept that I was in farther than I had planned to be when I found myself paying $2 per minute for sub par internet connection in our hotel in Hawaii just to see if he had written.
In March of the following year Austin came home for 2 weeks R&R from Iraq, which coincided with my spring break perfectly, and we spent every second possible together. In all honesty, if I were his family I would have been hurt by the attention he gave to me - a girl that just reappeared a few months earlier - rather than them, but I guess families are pretty understanding. An hour after I dropped him off to fly back to Iraq for the last 3 months of his deployment my mom looked at me and said "you're going to marry him aren't you?" To which I replied, "yes". She knew it, I knew it, and I'm pretty sure he knew it too.
He got home in June of 2005, we both spent most of our summer in Houston (together of course) and then in the fall I went back to school while he went back to Killeen. When I helped him move into his new place, we were unpacking his dresser drawers and what I found knocked me on my heels: he had kept every letter that I had written him in junior high. He was definitely years ahead of me back then! We visited each other on the weekends, talked nonstop, and in December when he got orders for Buckley AFB here in Aurora he asked if I'd come with him. His report date was 3 weeks before I was finished with school, so the timing couldn't have been more perfect, and I can't think of a place I would have rathered move than Colorado. A few weeks before he left he proposed, we moved to Colorado and 1.5 years later we were married.
So I'm not sure which benchmark I'd use in describing the dating days for Austin and me. I do know that he has always loved me in a way that I originally didn't know possible, and that it took me a long time to learn the depths of that kind of love. One of his coworkers, after meeting me for the first time, said "Wow, Austin's not quite the asshole when you're around". I'm not sure what kind of soldier he is, I hear he's a very good one so I'd guess that comes with a pretty rough presence, but with me he's always been putty in my hands. Its ok though, because I am equally putty in his. He'd stop at nothing to make me happy, which has resulted in me being one of the happiest, luckiest, and best treated wives in the world. The dating days were fun, but they were only a glimpse into my future.
I'm not sure where or how this challenge got started, but I've seen it on a few blogs. It started June 4 and goes into August. There are topics each week to focus on, and I think all of these women are in discussion groups together and blog on their own - not sure if any of this is ever relayed back to the husbands or not, but I'm guessing that is part of the challenge. I don't want to be in discussion groups, I don't know any of the people involved in this, and I'm 4 weeks late getting into it...so I'll just have my own session by myself. It'll be my own party and I can do whatever I want! Things are better that way anyway :) The sessions are called Marriage Mondays - mine won't always be on Mondays, and it may not always be on the same day of the week. I'm just going to march to the beat of my own drum here.
I'll start from the very beginning (a very good place to start...) Week One: Remember The Dating Days
Deciding where to start the discussion on "dating days" isn't easy for Austin and me. I could start from the very, very beginning; back in 1997. But the first time we "dated" I think we saw each other outside of church maybe twice. I was in 7th grade, and he was absolutely the shyest 8th grade boy I had ever met. We were in Sunday School together, though we went to separate schools, and I was friends with his brother's girlfriend so I think it just made every bit of junior high "sense" for us to date. But, like I said, we never once actually went on a date. Austin likes to try and give me a guilt trip for breaking his heart twice, but I just laugh at the thought that his heart was possibly affected in any way when I broke up with him in 7th grade.
But the second "heartbreak" was more real. And I knew it. I didn't talk to him much between the first time I broke up with him and the second time we started dating, but again I was friends with his brother's *new* girlfriend, and we had established a larger group of friends at church. I wasn't in Sunday School with him, or any of them for that matter, but we did spend time together on the weekends. Our group of friends was split between 3 high schools, and I was the lone junior high kid, so for the most part none of us saw each other in school. I don't know why Austin decided it was a good idea that he ask me to be his girlfriend on the night that his brother and I were in a huge fight and I was steaming mad, but then again his brother and I were in fights a lot so maybe he just figured it was as good a time as any. We already had plans to go to his homecoming dance together, after my mom finally gave in and said I could go, so the natural progression was to become his girlfriend.
We dated for about 6 months, and this time I'd actually say we dated. We went to movies, went out to eat, spent time together on weekends, and of course saw each other at church. I'd still say he was the shyest 9th grade boy I had ever known though. He wasn't much for talking on the phone, but what we were good at was writing letters. This was before texting, before email, and before instant messaging on the computer (or at least before the 2 of us had access to those modes of communication) so our letters were the old fashioned type: snail mail. We'd write each other once or twice a week. I don't remember what we wrote about - I can't imagine what we had to write about. But I always ran to the mailbox, literally, when the maillady stopped by so I could see if I had another letter from my heart throb.
Austin told me he loved me about 4 months into the relationship, and he was always far more into me than I was into him. I never told him I loved him back - and looking back, I can't imagine that felt very good! But I knew that I had no idea what that truly meant, and I had no idea what I was feeling anyway, so I wasn't willing to throw that out there unless I knew I meant it.
6 months into our relationship my dad passed away, and 4 days later I decided I wanted to break up with Austin. My friend Amanda and I were on our way to see Titanic for about the eighth time, and the idea just popped in my head. I remember saying, "Let me call Austin really quick before we go". So I did, and I broke up with him. He asked for an explanation which I did not have. I still don't really know why I broke up with him, but the best reason I can come up with is that I was just out of sorts and my life was so turned around that I didn't know my right from left. I had no business having a boyfriend anyway.
I went into high school a few months later, got busy with band and friends, and started attending a new church where a lot of my friends from school went. I would visit my old church maybe twice a year, and I kept up with Austin's mom as my Mary Kay Lady. I think I did it to secretly keep tabs on what he was up to, but he was a big, cool football star at a different high school, not to mention he always had a girlfriend...I didn't have a chance in the world. To be honest, as much as I did like to keep tabs on his whereabouts and hear how he was doing, I'm not sure I was interested in dating him anyway. How serious he was about me at such a young age was pretty scary! So, over the course of the next few years Austin and I just kind of lost touch. I can honestly say I never went long without thinking and wondering...but I tried my best to keep the thoughts out of my head. It was my first puppy love, I'd think of it forever right?
6 years after I broke up with Austin I ran into his mom at church. It was sometime towards the end of my sophomore year of college. After we got caught up on how she was doing and how I was doing I asked about Austin. She told me that he had *finally* broken up with his high school sweet heart (bleh) and he was preparing to deploy that summer. She said he'd be home for a couple of weeks in June and that she knew he'd love to hear from me, so she gave me her cell phone number and told me to call while he was in town. Well, as luck would have it, one week before I had my calendar marked to call I put my cell phone in a cup of water and fried it. There would be no calling Austin. I was slightly disappointed, and after telling Alexis this she encouraged me to send him a card or something. I told her that I wasn't sure that was such a good idea because I knew how he had always viewed me, and I wasn't sure I was interested in jumping in the deep end. She kept nudging me though, as only a good friend can. I finally got the courage to send him an email by copying his email address off a forwarded message my brother had sent to both of us(not a card, but still). I was shocked when I obsessively checked my email 2 hours later and had already gotten a reply from him.
We began emailing in July of 2004. What started as a weekly commitment became a two or three times a day commitment by the end of the year. I finally had to accept that I was in farther than I had planned to be when I found myself paying $2 per minute for sub par internet connection in our hotel in Hawaii just to see if he had written.
In March of the following year Austin came home for 2 weeks R&R from Iraq, which coincided with my spring break perfectly, and we spent every second possible together. In all honesty, if I were his family I would have been hurt by the attention he gave to me - a girl that just reappeared a few months earlier - rather than them, but I guess families are pretty understanding. An hour after I dropped him off to fly back to Iraq for the last 3 months of his deployment my mom looked at me and said "you're going to marry him aren't you?" To which I replied, "yes". She knew it, I knew it, and I'm pretty sure he knew it too.
He got home in June of 2005, we both spent most of our summer in Houston (together of course) and then in the fall I went back to school while he went back to Killeen. When I helped him move into his new place, we were unpacking his dresser drawers and what I found knocked me on my heels: he had kept every letter that I had written him in junior high. He was definitely years ahead of me back then! We visited each other on the weekends, talked nonstop, and in December when he got orders for Buckley AFB here in Aurora he asked if I'd come with him. His report date was 3 weeks before I was finished with school, so the timing couldn't have been more perfect, and I can't think of a place I would have rathered move than Colorado. A few weeks before he left he proposed, we moved to Colorado and 1.5 years later we were married.
So I'm not sure which benchmark I'd use in describing the dating days for Austin and me. I do know that he has always loved me in a way that I originally didn't know possible, and that it took me a long time to learn the depths of that kind of love. One of his coworkers, after meeting me for the first time, said "Wow, Austin's not quite the asshole when you're around". I'm not sure what kind of soldier he is, I hear he's a very good one so I'd guess that comes with a pretty rough presence, but with me he's always been putty in my hands. Its ok though, because I am equally putty in his. He'd stop at nothing to make me happy, which has resulted in me being one of the happiest, luckiest, and best treated wives in the world. The dating days were fun, but they were only a glimpse into my future.
Jul 8, 2010
Career Aspirations
I still haven't figured out how to insert hyperlinks like "click here" or "read this" with a link to a previous post - and no one has offered up any help! So, if you're interested in what spurred the 6 month personal debate that I'm about to comment on further, read my post from 11/18/2009. It's not necessary though, and you may already have read it anyway.
I am not flustered and heated about my job like I was when I wrote the post on 11/18 so obviously I'm thinking more clearly. I have had more time to think on my job and career-future and I've decided that I was right in thinking I need a new career. Not today or tomorrow, but not too far in the future either.
In knowing that I want to do something else, but unsure what that would be, I have been thinking over the last 6 months about what else I'd be interested in. As I mentioned on 11/18, I'd still love to write as I do enjoy it, but I don't know how well that pays the bills and I'm not sure I write well enough to be successful anyway. Plus, it doesn't matter how well you write if you've got nothing to write about! Because I wasn't sure what I wanted to do, I decided to focus on what it is that I want to get out of a career. I determined that the main thing I care about is that I want to positively impact another person by the work I do. I don't know what spurred this need because I didn't always have this conviction, but I definitely do now. I can see myself having to answer to my son (and future sibling/s) as they look at me and ask: Mommy what did you do with your job to help someone else? I don't want my answer to be: I helped stock holders' pocketbooks. Maybe I'm jealous that their dad will have an answer with more integrity and selflessness.
Don't get me wrong, I am in no way belittling my job or any other job for that matter. We are not all called to be firemen, and what a non-productive world it would be if we were. There are people who get satisfaction and fulfillment from tax accounting, and I'm glad they found their niche. I think its important that we all find intrinsic value in our jobs, but right now I do not. So I knew I wanted to find something that would benefit the lives' of others, I just still wasn't sure what that would be. I know things I don't want to do, for instance I'm not about to put on a uniform and go fight the War on Terror, that's for sure! But I couldn't just keep eliminating options I don't like, I needed to find something that I do like.
Then something happened: I took William to daycare for the first time.
I found a new appreciation for William's school when I dropped him off that I hadn't had just by visiting. I appreciated the cleanliness, the order, the structure, the curriculum, and the location back in December when we put down our deposit. What I didn't fully appreciate then, though, was the staff. I knew I liked them, and at the time that was good enough for me. I didn't realize how invested they were in the children's lives, the relationships with the parents, or the overall job they are entrusted with. I didn't realize it at the time, nor did I realize the value it carried.
The teachers in the classrooms absolutely love each child. I visited some child care centers where the teachers were there for the same reason I am at Western Union: to pay the bills. I can't knock them for having that job-perspective as I have it too, but I did notice their lack of concern for the overall growth and development of each child. At William's school, the teachers not only care - they have a sense of responsibility and develop an individual love for each one of their students. When I visited the school before I actually dropped him off, to me it was a room with 8 babies in it. But to Miss Kim and Miss Jennifer it was a room with Conner, Alexis, Helen, Mateus, Emmett, Diego, Ethan, and Rylan. More impressive than the love that the teachers have for each child, to me, is the love that the education director and school director/owner have for each family. Miss Elise, the education director, says bye to each kid as he/she leaves and when she goes home for the day she goes into every classroom and gives every child left a hug goodbye. She knows each one of their quirks and personality traits, knows their favorite foods and toys, how they sleep, etc. She knows them all, and loves each one of them. Brooke, the school owner, is no different.
I don't have the capacity to be a teacher at a daycare or the education director, unless I want to go back to school, but what I realized is that I would absolutely love to be the owner of a Goddard franchise location. I believe very strongly in the curriculum they use to spur the development of the children, and I can appreciate as a parent the value of the quality of staff they insist upon hiring. Teachers shape the lives of children, regardless of what age they teach, but I now know that the directors directly impact the children's lives as well as their parents. I can leave William every day knowing that not only are Miss Kim and Miss Jennifer wonderful with the babies, but Elise and Brooke are equally capable and just as invested in his life. I never could have understood the value of that until actually leaving William in their care.
Owning and operating a Goddard school seems like it'd be the best of both worlds for me. It would allow me to utilize my business background and knowledge, while making an impact on the lives of my students as well as their parents. Not only would I be making a difference, but I'd be doing something in which I strongly believe. I couldn't ask for more out of a career.
As for the timing, I won't be turning my notice in at western union anytime soon that's for sure! I don't have the net worth required to open the franchise, and we are not "settled" here for the long haul so it'd be pointless to begin the process now anyway. So I know I'm looking a little further down the road, but it makes working here less meaningless if I know what I'm working towards. So...someday...
I am not flustered and heated about my job like I was when I wrote the post on 11/18 so obviously I'm thinking more clearly. I have had more time to think on my job and career-future and I've decided that I was right in thinking I need a new career. Not today or tomorrow, but not too far in the future either.
In knowing that I want to do something else, but unsure what that would be, I have been thinking over the last 6 months about what else I'd be interested in. As I mentioned on 11/18, I'd still love to write as I do enjoy it, but I don't know how well that pays the bills and I'm not sure I write well enough to be successful anyway. Plus, it doesn't matter how well you write if you've got nothing to write about! Because I wasn't sure what I wanted to do, I decided to focus on what it is that I want to get out of a career. I determined that the main thing I care about is that I want to positively impact another person by the work I do. I don't know what spurred this need because I didn't always have this conviction, but I definitely do now. I can see myself having to answer to my son (and future sibling/s) as they look at me and ask: Mommy what did you do with your job to help someone else? I don't want my answer to be: I helped stock holders' pocketbooks. Maybe I'm jealous that their dad will have an answer with more integrity and selflessness.
Don't get me wrong, I am in no way belittling my job or any other job for that matter. We are not all called to be firemen, and what a non-productive world it would be if we were. There are people who get satisfaction and fulfillment from tax accounting, and I'm glad they found their niche. I think its important that we all find intrinsic value in our jobs, but right now I do not. So I knew I wanted to find something that would benefit the lives' of others, I just still wasn't sure what that would be. I know things I don't want to do, for instance I'm not about to put on a uniform and go fight the War on Terror, that's for sure! But I couldn't just keep eliminating options I don't like, I needed to find something that I do like.
Then something happened: I took William to daycare for the first time.
I found a new appreciation for William's school when I dropped him off that I hadn't had just by visiting. I appreciated the cleanliness, the order, the structure, the curriculum, and the location back in December when we put down our deposit. What I didn't fully appreciate then, though, was the staff. I knew I liked them, and at the time that was good enough for me. I didn't realize how invested they were in the children's lives, the relationships with the parents, or the overall job they are entrusted with. I didn't realize it at the time, nor did I realize the value it carried.
The teachers in the classrooms absolutely love each child. I visited some child care centers where the teachers were there for the same reason I am at Western Union: to pay the bills. I can't knock them for having that job-perspective as I have it too, but I did notice their lack of concern for the overall growth and development of each child. At William's school, the teachers not only care - they have a sense of responsibility and develop an individual love for each one of their students. When I visited the school before I actually dropped him off, to me it was a room with 8 babies in it. But to Miss Kim and Miss Jennifer it was a room with Conner, Alexis, Helen, Mateus, Emmett, Diego, Ethan, and Rylan. More impressive than the love that the teachers have for each child, to me, is the love that the education director and school director/owner have for each family. Miss Elise, the education director, says bye to each kid as he/she leaves and when she goes home for the day she goes into every classroom and gives every child left a hug goodbye. She knows each one of their quirks and personality traits, knows their favorite foods and toys, how they sleep, etc. She knows them all, and loves each one of them. Brooke, the school owner, is no different.
I don't have the capacity to be a teacher at a daycare or the education director, unless I want to go back to school, but what I realized is that I would absolutely love to be the owner of a Goddard franchise location. I believe very strongly in the curriculum they use to spur the development of the children, and I can appreciate as a parent the value of the quality of staff they insist upon hiring. Teachers shape the lives of children, regardless of what age they teach, but I now know that the directors directly impact the children's lives as well as their parents. I can leave William every day knowing that not only are Miss Kim and Miss Jennifer wonderful with the babies, but Elise and Brooke are equally capable and just as invested in his life. I never could have understood the value of that until actually leaving William in their care.
Owning and operating a Goddard school seems like it'd be the best of both worlds for me. It would allow me to utilize my business background and knowledge, while making an impact on the lives of my students as well as their parents. Not only would I be making a difference, but I'd be doing something in which I strongly believe. I couldn't ask for more out of a career.
As for the timing, I won't be turning my notice in at western union anytime soon that's for sure! I don't have the net worth required to open the franchise, and we are not "settled" here for the long haul so it'd be pointless to begin the process now anyway. So I know I'm looking a little further down the road, but it makes working here less meaningless if I know what I'm working towards. So...someday...
Jul 7, 2010
William Wednesday Part 2
Meant to add this to the last post. This is William in Dallas when Brandon was raising him over his head. See him lifting his arms and looking up? Babies are incredible. He can't talk, but he figured out a way to let Brandon know that he was not done playing their game!
Western World Wednesday
William has been a busy, busy boy this week. He's started feeling much better and with that has come a burst of energy and exploration. Yesterday morning I had him in his jumparoo while I made his bottles and he learned that the seat can turn around. I told my mom, "You would have thought he discovered America by the excitement on his face!" May have been more like Alaska, though, because as he turned clockwise he discovered a new toy that has a polar bear in a spinn-able snow globe. He vigorously spun the globe, making the white beads shake all around, and he was SO proud of his new discovery and new skill.
After the first 2-3 days on his new antibiotic we definitely noticed William perking up. He was more energetic and playful, and we were happy to have our joyful baby back. And last night was the first night in almost 2 weeks when he didn't wake up! I forgot how exhausting it can be to wake up every few hours, but it sure felt nice to have a full night's sleep last night.
He is getting stronger and stronger sitting up and he's almost to the point of sitting up for his entire bath. He likes to lean forward and lick the front end of his little tub, which I think is kind of gross, so I tend to lay him back down but I know we need to let him work those muscles. He's gotten his leg muscles so strong by jumping in his jumparoo, and he's started scooting himself along the floor when he's on his stomach. He won't do it unless he has a purpose, so we generally have to have his favorite ball within close reach. Then he'll scoot his little legs to get his body to move (centimeters at a time, granted) until he gets to his ball. If its too far away he gets very frustrated, or if he knocks it farther away he generally gives up. But he's workin on it!
He has also developed a new laugh. More than a laugh, its a squeal! I don't know if I should say "developed" since he did it last night for the first time, but you could hear it all over the house it was so loud. Austin took him to his room to get him undressed for bath time while I went to the bathroom to get the water ready, and Austin was in no hurry to get into the bathroom. He had him laying on his changing table and was tickling his ribs. Austin was making funny noises which I think added to William's entertainment, so he just started cracking up. He was laughing so hard that he'd lose his breath, then take a big high pitched gasp of air and start laughing again. I ran in to see what they were doing, but his laughing had died down before I could see his face :( Hopefully Austin can repeat it tonight!
My favorite, favorite, favorite thing that he William is doing now is "singing" himself to sleep. Our nighttime routine ends with one of us rocking William either to sleep or near-sleep before we lay him in his crib. Just as he is dozing off he begins making the softest cooing sounds. His eyes are closed, and the sounds aren't as vocal or emphatic as when he talks during the day, he just kind of lulls himself to sleep. We can't see his face while we rock him, but we always know he's almost out by his singing. I told you before that his laugh was the most precious sound, but I think this new singing is. It's a close call, I know that ;)
I definitely enjoy writing these William Wednesday posts because it keeps things in order and organized for me. He's doing so much and learning so quickly that its hard for me to remember to jot it all down for his scrapbook. These posts help me keep it all in line though!
After the first 2-3 days on his new antibiotic we definitely noticed William perking up. He was more energetic and playful, and we were happy to have our joyful baby back. And last night was the first night in almost 2 weeks when he didn't wake up! I forgot how exhausting it can be to wake up every few hours, but it sure felt nice to have a full night's sleep last night.
He is getting stronger and stronger sitting up and he's almost to the point of sitting up for his entire bath. He likes to lean forward and lick the front end of his little tub, which I think is kind of gross, so I tend to lay him back down but I know we need to let him work those muscles. He's gotten his leg muscles so strong by jumping in his jumparoo, and he's started scooting himself along the floor when he's on his stomach. He won't do it unless he has a purpose, so we generally have to have his favorite ball within close reach. Then he'll scoot his little legs to get his body to move (centimeters at a time, granted) until he gets to his ball. If its too far away he gets very frustrated, or if he knocks it farther away he generally gives up. But he's workin on it!
He has also developed a new laugh. More than a laugh, its a squeal! I don't know if I should say "developed" since he did it last night for the first time, but you could hear it all over the house it was so loud. Austin took him to his room to get him undressed for bath time while I went to the bathroom to get the water ready, and Austin was in no hurry to get into the bathroom. He had him laying on his changing table and was tickling his ribs. Austin was making funny noises which I think added to William's entertainment, so he just started cracking up. He was laughing so hard that he'd lose his breath, then take a big high pitched gasp of air and start laughing again. I ran in to see what they were doing, but his laughing had died down before I could see his face :( Hopefully Austin can repeat it tonight!
My favorite, favorite, favorite thing that he William is doing now is "singing" himself to sleep. Our nighttime routine ends with one of us rocking William either to sleep or near-sleep before we lay him in his crib. Just as he is dozing off he begins making the softest cooing sounds. His eyes are closed, and the sounds aren't as vocal or emphatic as when he talks during the day, he just kind of lulls himself to sleep. We can't see his face while we rock him, but we always know he's almost out by his singing. I told you before that his laugh was the most precious sound, but I think this new singing is. It's a close call, I know that ;)
I definitely enjoy writing these William Wednesday posts because it keeps things in order and organized for me. He's doing so much and learning so quickly that its hard for me to remember to jot it all down for his scrapbook. These posts help me keep it all in line though!
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