I think I'm going to start saying I'm a first time mom for the second time. Because let me be honest - I don't know what I'm doing.
For starters, I'm breastfeeding Charles. I don't remember if I ever blogged about it, but I was unable to with William. There are a few contributing factors there but basically, after 3 weeks of trying we had to give up on my one ounce of breastmilk and just accept formula. The best thing his pediatrician ever said to me was 'was Albert Einstein breastfed?' I said I didn't know and he said 'exactly. Your baby's future and life are not determined by breastmilk or formula'. William was (and is) a happy healthy boy and we did the best we could, and formula isn't a sin. But, I wanted to try again with Charles and (for the most part) I'm so thankful it's working this time. It's healthier, it's cheaper, and there's a special bond that I can't describe.
But.
At 1:00am when I just fed him at 11:30 I sure would love if my snoring husband could feed him.
And when I'm trying to get groceries and the line is really long and he wakes up it'd be really nice if I had a bottle ready to feed him in the grocery store Starbucks while I sip on an iced tea.
being one of the most modest people I know, it sure would be nice to not want to tuck myself into a corner while people are visiting.
And It'd be really really nice not to have to select my wardrobe based on the availability of and access to my boobs!
I'm not bashing breastfeeding here - it's just different and new and And area where I'm a first time mom.
We are also attempting cloth diapers. I'll let you know later if it's a success or if it sticks, but it's another new challenge to tackle. William had sensitive skin and often got rashes all over his stomach from certain brands. There were brands that worked but it still raised the question of: what is IN those diapers?? They're also insanely expensive! And for people more concerned with the environment(I don't fit that bill so much but that's ok!), there's that pro-cloth argument too. Overall I like the cloth a lot. A lot! After cleaning William's dirty underwear during potty training dirty cloth diapers are nothin, and my laundry is already on a constant cycle so what are a few diapers added? No big deal. And he NEVER has redness on his bottom or skin anywhere.
But.
Changing diapers every 2 hours isn't fun, plus it usually involves waking him (which then requires more feeding). And remembering plastic bags everywhere we go hasn't quite become habit yet. And mastering the stuff-the-cloth-into-the-diaper-before-he-pees skill hasn't come naturally.
Basically it's not easy. And between those 2 things my hands are generally tied.
But wait - there's a 4 year old running around here too. I'm still his mom too right? It's not all breastfeeding and diapers it's also Legos and lunches and the things I love about being William's mom. So in the avenue of juggling 2 - I'm DEFINITELY a first timer.
Add to all of that the fact that each baby really is so different, and I'm as new as they come. I'm learning who Charles is - and so far he's not much like William at all. That's fine - and in some ways if he wants to be opposite William I'll gladly welcome that. It's what makes us each unique and special, but it's also what keeps me wondering 'how in the world am I so lost when I've already done this all before???'
So - yeah, I already have a son. But most of the time I'm just as new as they come. Loving life's adventures, I'd just like it if I could take the blindfold off and actually see where I'm going sometimes!
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