Who has is Worse?

I know I already said my goodbyes, but I just couldn't stay away. Plus I was late to my last session of the day because I came upstairs to change into blue jean capris for Disney, and then I saw I had an email from my mom so I quickly wrote her back...next thing I know I am walking to the conference room and my seat had been given up to someone on the wait list. How rude! Not really - I was 4 minutes late after all, and it was my least intriguing session of the week...and I'm so stoked about Disney this evening that I really couldn't care less. The problem is I SHOULD care, seeing as every day here costs $500, plus the cost of the hotel at $230/night and the cost of food...so my company is spending about $750 a day...and for me to miss the last session without caring would just be wrong. So - I'm trying to care. Really.

This is by far the fanciest hotel I've ever stayed in. Or stepped foot in, for that matter. It's somehow even fancier than the hotel I stayed at in Vegas (though possibly less fun) There are water fountains, a koi pond, an alligator pond, a DISNEYWORLD STORE, lots of other little shops, and about 5 restaurants. Problem is, it is all priced as you would expect. The spa has pedicures - for $85. There is an Italian buffet..for $25...and my plain turkey sandwich for dinner last night was $10!!! Pretty ridiculous. It seems like a waste to be at a place this fancy all by myself though.

Which brings me to my topic du jour: Who has it Worse?

In high school I had this theory. I shouldn't say it's my theory, seeing as I'm sure many people before me have thought of it to. But the theory is that in the event of a separation, be it permanent or temporary, it is always harder for the person being left behind. The person doing the leaving is off to bigger and better things - off to college, off to a new city or new job, starting a new family...whatever the case may be, generally the person doing the leaving has something looming on the horizon to look forward to while the one left behind has the same life as before, just with a gaping hole in it. This theory held true as my high school boyfriend went off to college, as my brother joined the army...and I saw it happen to people other than myself.

When Austin got deployed I told him about this theory - somehow rationalizing in my head that it would be harder for me than for him. I do realize that he was going to a war zone, to live in a pile of sand where it is 100+ degrees most of the year and the sounds of rifles, car bombs, IEDs and RPG's are like the sounds of car horns and dogs barking back here. I do realize that while I was moving to Texas and would be near family and friends, he was leaving everyone and would miss out on everything. But somehow, to me, it seemed that he had it easier because he was the one who had something to look forward to. All I had was the life I had before, minus the best part of it.

Being the good husband that he is, Austin never argued. He never even voiced his opinion on whether it was true or not. He just listened to me, comforted me, and generally changed the subject once I had calmed down so we could talk about something a little more light hearted. When he left in March for Arizona, and when he left again in July for California, I told him the same thing - that he had it easier than me. Me? I had to stay home, continue on with my same routine except instead of having morning pet feeding duties, I had full time feeding duties; instead of splitting the house cleaning, I had to do it all myself; instead of coming home to a freshly shoveled driveway, I found myself shoveling the driveway more times in the month of APRIL than I had ever done before. Poor, poor, pitiful me.

I learned on Sunday that it is no easier being the one to do the leaving though. At least I don't think so. Sure - I do have that bright horizon and those MICKEY EARS staring me in the face. I did land in the Orlando airport and grin from ear to ear as I saw Squirt (the baby turtle from Finding Nemo), Buzz Lightyear, Minnie Mouse, Goofy, and Pluto all boarding the next plane out - all in the hands of kids who were happier than the day they'd arrived. But I did have to leave my hubby, and my 3 precious "kids". Austin says Layla walked around the house multiple times this morning, walking in and out of every room, and just moping. It made me sad to have left her :( And after a few months of actually having Austin home without a pending separation I almost forgot what it was like to sleep by myself. No fun.

I did get to bring William with me, so I do have one up on Austin there. And I'm cutting this blog off soon because the shuttle to see Mickey will be leaving shortly and I gotta have as much time there as possible. SO - maybe it easier being the one to leave after all. Because even though it wasn't fun to leave, I'm still excited to be where I'm at. Austin's just ready for the week to be over.

It is kind of nice for HIM to have pet feeding duties twice a day for a few days though...