can you hear me singing? Dream, Dream, Dreeaam, Dreeeaaaaammm.
It is pretty common knowledge that I dream a lot. Not only do I dream a lot, but I remember my dreams in great detail. Sometimes they can be disturbing, sometimes upsetting, and sometimes just plain funny. Never before, though, have I questioned whether or not people can actually use dreams to speak to others.
Until last night.
I won't go into a lot of detail because I don't know my reading audience, but there are some details I can share. I dreamt that I was in Dallas spending time with my grandmother, Mimi, as she was on her death bed. This is the same Mimi that you read about on June 20 with the empty candy jar, so obviously she is not with us anymore. But in my dream, she was back in the state that she was in June. The things she told me, though, were very telling and I can hear her saying those things in real-life.
The main thing she kept telling me is that, no matter what ever happens, she hopes I know how much she values the relationship that she and I had. She also told me multiple times, once even "coming back" after having not taken a breath for awhile, not to cry for her. I think Mimi would very much say that. When I moved to Colorado in 2006 I saw her a week before I moved and I cried when I said bye. She had to stop her quivering lip from giving in to her crying, but she held her composure and she kept insisting that I not cry. She said "You're going to be in a great place, don't cry for what you're leaving". So I can hear her saying the same thing to me now.
A lot of times when I dream about my dad I wake up feeling emptiness, loneliness, and longing for him to be around. I would have expected after having the dream about Mimi that I would feel the same way, but I woke up this morning feeling good. I will always count Mimi as one of the richest blessings in my life, and my dream last night tells me that she felt the same. I don't think I believe that people can come back to speak to you after they've passed - I could be wrong, but I've never been of that belief. I do think, though, that I had that dream at this exact time for a purpose - and I think the purpose must have been to bring my mind into a certain focus.
Mission Accomplished. In my head sometimes I still think Mimi is sitting in her chair watching David Letterman every night. She still has the volume cranked up for the entire neighborhood to hear, with her oxygen tank inches from her cigarette, and the telephone within reach. So I know I haven't completely wrapped my head around my loss, but wherever she is I do know that she loves me very, very much.
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