Strong Bonds

This past weekend Austin and I went to a marriage retreat in Estes Park. The army puts on this retreat, called Strong Bonds, 4 times a year and it is held at the YMCA of the Rockies. If you google it you can find some pictures - it is gorgeous. Although the retreat was great, it would have been pretty awesome to just sit outside all weekend and stare at the beauty. Not to mention the weather was perfect! I took lots of pictures but, as usual, they are stuck on my camera still - itching to be shared. I will write a follow-up post later this week just of pictures, I promise.

Austin was supposed to have the entire day off from work, but because he was so busy last week (or for the last 6 months) he said he had to go in for a few hours. I was slightly irritated when I got off work, got William, stopped at a coworker's house to drop something off, and made it home before he ever got off - but he did make it home in time to get the truck packed, drop Layla off, and hit the road by 2:00. So, I guess I didn't have much room to complain.

We've been to Estes Park quite a few times; it is one of my favorite places in Colorado. It is nestled on the edge of Rocky Mountain National Park so wildlife can often be spotted roaming through people's yards and through town, and it offers all the small tourist town charm that you could hope for. (I think I also told you last year on our anniversary trip that they have BLUE BELL ICE CREAM which we, again, indulged in twice) We hadn't ever gone this far through and out of town though, and it was just beautiful. The resort was in a little valley so there were peaks all around and I was in my own little heaven. I think it'd be a wonderful place to have a family vacation or reunion (be on the lookout for an email, Ford Family) because there were SO many options for activities. crafts, horseback riding, fishing, disc golf, putt-putt golf, real golf, sand volleyball, bike rides, hiking trails - if its an outdoor activity, they have it. I loved it!

We weren't there for the activities though, we were there to build a stronger marriage. And that we did. No marriage is without room for improvement, and you always hear that the marriages which start strong and later fizzle are the marriages in which the partners failed to continue working at it. So, when we were presented with the opportunity to spend a weekend learning more about each other and the bond of marriage we thought "why not?" We had a session Friday night, 2 on Saturday morning, a break to spend with each other in the afternoon, a session Friday late afternoon, and one Sunday morning. The meals were all paid for and in the time we weren't in classes we could wander down into downtown Estes, eat at the cafeteria, or do whatever we wanted. (no TV though - they were removed from our rooms)

Friday's session was the most productive for us. It was a class on the 5 love languages. If you haven't heard of it, you should google it just to learn more. I won't go into FULL detail because it is an entire book - and I'm not so good at short summaries. But, the basic skeleton of it is that there are 5 basic ways in which we all receive/interpret love the best. The 5 options are: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, Physical Touch. I would have sworn Austin's was Acts of Service because that is the way in which he shows his love the most, and I would have guessed mine would have been Quality Time. I was wrong though!

My love language is words of affirmation and his is quality time. This brought new light to recent conversations we've had. Last week I told Austin that I was disappointed in how little I felt appreciated for my support of his deployment. I told him that I wasn't really sure what I expected as a "thank you" (well, diamond earrings are a given but beyond that...) but that I just felt like my role was completely overlooked. Not just by him, but by people in his unit and by people in general. I realize that he carries a much greater burden and is laying much more on the line, but I feel like sometimes people forget the sacrifice of the families. I know we don't do it for "thank you" or acknowledgement - blah blah blah - but its still nice to hear. He felt bad that I had felt unappreciated and said that he must just assume that I know he appreciates my support but that he'll try to do better at letting me know. Then when we learned my love language, it made more sense to both of us.

On the same note, we learned more by knowing his love language too. Oftentimes he will suggest that we go play golf on the weekends, and generally I say no. I say no because golf is about a 4.5-5 hour game, plus transportation and getting ready so it could take up to 6 hours! I struggle with spending 6 hours on anything because my mind constantly thinks about the things that I should be doing. I should be doing laundry, going grocery shopping, cleaning the house, etc. I always assumed Austin was suggesting it because he just felt like golfing, so I would give him the green light to go ahead and go. I never understood why, in those instances, he didn't end up going. Then this weekend he said that when he suggests that we go together it isn't just because he wants to golf, its because he wants to together. I explained my side a bit, so we agreed that if there's stuff to do at home but he wants to spend time together golfing that we go for 9 holes instead of 18.

Overall, the retreat was good. We had a good time, refreshed ourselves on somethings we already knew and learned a few new things. Plus I met the spouse of one of the guys Austin will deploy with, so that is probably a good thing too. She was very nice. Right now her husband works shift work like Austin used to, so he doesn't have a lot of free time, but once training starts he suggested we spend some time together so she and I can get to know each other a little bit better. Marriage fuel and a potential new friend? I'd say the weekend was a success.