Sunday morning after I finished blogging about the struggles I had Saturday we got up and went to church. We actually got there before the pre-worship songs started which was quite the feat :)
The music was great and the opening prayer was great, and I already felt more peaceful than I had an hour or so earlier. And then He did it; God slapped me with His lesson again.
The service was on 1 Corinthians 13. I'd guess it is one of the most well known passages in the Bible and that most people can recite a thing or two from it. But I've never actually listened to a sermon on it other than at a wedding, and at weddings it is all directed at how the bride and groom can make their marriage last.
This time, though, I heard about the other angle. The side of love we don't like to talk about. It's not
The love between two people who want to spend their lives together. Its not the love you give your spouse when they're trying your patience, and it's not the love you give your child. No, this time I learned about how the passage really just teaches how to love people. Everyone. Love everyone.
Instantly I thought of the family from saturday and I had a private conversation with God: you want ME to love HIM? You want me to pray for him and lift him up and love HIM? Are you KIDDING ME??
No, he wasn't kidding me. In fact, the next thing he taught me was that my life will not be measured by my worldly successes or by the good deeds I've done or by the items I've checked off my to-do list. It doesn't matter if I find a great job and build up the financial security o spend so much time worrying about. My life, like all lives, will be marked a success if I have chosen to LOVE.
The sermon hit me from two sides. First, I was reminded that we are not just called to love when it's easy. We are not just called to love the nice people we meet on the bright sunny days. We are called to love everyone - with patience and kindness, without judgement or anger. We are called to love without keeping tally of right and wrong. Boy was I doing that all wrong this weekend! For me to love this man who has hurt his family, I do not need to know what he did or how he did it or any aspect of his mistakes. I just need to love him and pray for him and the rest is not my concern.
The second piece of the sermon I took away was that my dads life WAS full. I always look at it and my heart hurts that he missed so much. He would have absolutely loved being a grandfather - he was so good at spoiling his own kids and wife rotten to the core (all 4 of us really) - imagine how he would have been with grandkids?!? The ones you're SUPPOSED to spoil rotten? He would have loved to see all of the accomplishments of his kids over the last 14 years. He missed out, and as sad as it makes me for myself it breaks my heart for him.
But his life was full. He knew how to love people. He knew how to love the people that he didn't even really like, and he knew the difference I think. He never had a lot of money or worldly success. He didn't find a cure for cancer (but man THAT would have been helpful), he didn't live a life that will make history because of its ingenuity or impact. But he loved and because of that his life was as full as they come.
It is not my job to keep a tally board and compare everyone to him, determining who DESERVED cancer or who deserved to die. The two lives are separate from each other and all I can do is be thankful that I had one of those 2 men and not the other as my father, then I can pray for the other.
I hope that in all my worries for our upcoming move - I hope that in all my stress - I haven't become too busy to truly love people. It's not always easy or convenient or fun, and they won't always love me back. But I hope I haven't gotten - and don't ever get - so lost in my own life that I forget the greatest calling of all.
Love never fails.
- manda
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