Pregnancy Madness

Let me make you aware of something: Not all pregnant women are created equal. I know this comes as a shock to many people, so I hope you were sitting down when you read it. However, where people get the idea that women, who were drastically different before conceiving a child, will all unite as one robotic force while pregnant blows my mind.

Myth #1: All Pregnant Women are Starving at ANY Given Point in the Day
I can't tell you how many times this myth has caused my blood pressure to rise. Example: Last week the tax director asked us all if we'd like pizza for lunch, because she knew/assumed we'd all be working through lunch that day. While pizza is at the bottom of the list of foods that I eat (it doesn't rank with fish, but it certainly isn't something I crave) I appreciated the offer and hadn't brought lunch that day - so it worked out well. At 11:30 I had eaten a banana, so I wasn't terribly hungry at 12:30 when the pizza got here. I assumed there would be a mad rush of people in line for it, and I was in the middle of finishing a few tax entries so I thought I'd just wait 10-15 minutes or so. Apparently, being pregnant, I no longer have the ability to determine when I need to eat. Paula and Dottie stood up to go get food and Paula said "Amanda, are you coming? You hungry?" Before I could respond, Paul answered "Well that's the dumb question of the century, she's pregnant of course she's hungry". I just kindly said I was ok for now and would get some later. A few seconds later Quinita, the person who had ordered the pizza, came by to let us know it was ready. I said thanks, I'll be by in a few minutes, and she said "Girl you're pregnant you better be in the front of that line before its all gone" All gone? Really? We have NEVER ordered food and not had leftovers, especially pizza. I eat about 2 pieces, if that, before I'm sick of it so I seriously doubted there would be less than 2 pieces left after 10 minutes. I repeated, as nicely as possible, that I'd be over there in just a second when the director, Kathy, walked by and overheard me. "What?! You're not eating first? You have the right you know, you can just push everyone out of the line and tell them you have pregnant priority" At this point I decided, out of frustration not hunger, to just go get in the stupid pizza line; it was clearly going to be easier than sitting at my desk and explaining to every person who walked by why I hadn't stuffed my face yet. After I had grabbed my two slices of pizza I was pouring myself some sprite when someone decided to remind me that I shouldn't have caffeine. I looked at her, looked at the sprite, then looked back at her...I'm sure the look on my face said enough, as I don't hide my emotions well, and she said "Oh, its sprite, I thought you had the mountain dew" Hmm...interesting, since there wasn't any mountain dew available. Luckily I walked back to my desk in peace and was able to enjoy (or eat) my pizza in my own time. However, about 30 minutes later I again received multiple visits at my desk informing me that there was dessert pizza, and I "had better go get some". The only response I could muster up at this point was a fake smile, because if I had opened my mouth the words wouldn't have been cordial.

In conclusion: just because your wife was starving, you were starving, your best friend was starving and ate a horse at each meal does not mean I am. I have not lost the ability to determine when I'm hungry, and I do not need people policing my caloric intake.

Myth #2: All Pregnant Women Have Food Aversions
This one is a nice segue from the previous myth. I am only 4 months along and I am at the point that if I have to choose another meal because I'm "the pregnant one" I might hurl. Or maybe I'll just give up on eating all together - that would have some people's panties in a wad now wouldn't it? I have been very fortunate so far and I do understand that MOST pregnant women have either had particular cravings or aversions at this point. I, however, have not. I haven't gotten sick, nothing repulses me now (unless it repulsed me before...salmon...) and there's nothing I CRAVE besides blue bell ice cream. And, well, I think a part of me always craves blue bell ice cream. I do not need to make the decisions for breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day because I'm pregnant. In fact, I've given up on my once or twice a week lunch outing with coworkers because I'm sick of being forced to pick it. My tastes are the same as anyone else's at this point, and I could just as easily pick something that doesn't sound appealing to one of them as they could for me.

Myth #3: All Pregnant Women should Gain the same amount of Weight
This is less of a "myth" and more of an irritation. There is no specific number of pounds that each pregnant person "should" gain, nor is there an exact benchmark you should reach every month. There is, however, a range that has been designed around your pre-pregnancy weight to help you keep track and make sure you aren't gaining too much or too little. I emphasize the last part, as I think some people fail to realize there can be too little. The vague guidelines, starting out, are that if you are within the "normal" or "healthy" weight range for your height/age before you conceive, you should gain between 25-35 pounds. If you are underweight, they'll recommend you even go up as much as 40, or if you are over weight they'll say 25 should be your max weight gain. From there, there are guidelines to help you gauge how you're doing during the pregnancy so you know if you're gaining too much, too little, just right, etc. These are just guidelines, but they are ranges that are considered "healthy" for each month of pregnancy. There are risks involved with gaining too much weight such as diabetes, high blood pressure, pre-eclampsia, and other things that go along with being overweight. There are also risks involved with gaining to little weight, the main one being premature birth. While premature births happen often and don't necessarily mean anything bad will come of it, it is still ideal to carry your baby for 39-40 weeks.

I am 4 months right now - William's due date was 5 months from Monday actually - and I have gained 3 pounds. When I saw my doctor at 16 weeks, which was 2 weeks ago, I had gained 1.4 and she was concerned. She did tell me that the most important time for weight gain is between 20-26 weeks, so she won't be overly concerned until we get to that point, but that I should try to work on gaining more weight in the meantime so it isn't an issue. She would have liked me to have already been between 5-9 pounds at that appointment. She said that the goal for the remainder of the pregnancy should be to gain between .5 and 1 pound every week. So, essentially for the past 2 weeks I've done that - which is good. If I gain one pound per week from now until the time he's born I will have gained 25, which is pretty ideal. If I can continue this, I will be happy. I am still below the "range" for where most doctors consider I should be at 18 weeks, but as long as I continue to gain .5-1 pound per week I think I'll be ok with that. I am glad my doctor brought it to my attention before 20 weeks and before it was a bigger issue.

The reason I'm going into all of this is that if I am concerned with my weight, or my doctor is concerned with my weight - there's probably a reason. Just because you may have gained 15 pounds in your pregnancy, or because you may have gained 40 in yours, does not mean that your weight gain would be ideal for me. I wasn't there telling you to stuff your face or stave yourself, so please don't feel the need to do so for me.

All of this boils down to one main frustration: prior to becoming pregnant no one felt the need to over analyze my weight, what I ate, how much I ate, how often I ate, etc. So why has it become everyone's business since then? Do pregnant women wear signs that say "Help me, I'm an idiot"? If so, please tell me where this sign hangs so that I can remove mine.

If I seem a bit on edge - I apologize. I'm actually not (at the present moment) overly irritated by any one of these things, or other myths that I could share if I had time, its just that when I get talking about it I get a little heated. I'll try to make tomorrow's blog more light-hearted and entertaining to make up for it. :)