William Wednesday, William's ONE!

To my Little Bear, on your first birthday:
Sweet William – I’ve thought about what I’d want to say to you on your first birthday for awhile now. I end up with no idea where to start, yet I have so much to say. I know that even though I’ll talk your ear off tonight as I rock you to sleep you won’t completely understand or remember. So, I thought if I wrote you a letter you could read it later and get an idea of (you’ll never fully know) what you’ve meant to me over the last year.
I loved you before I ever saw your face. Then one year ago today you rushed into this world and I was filled with a love that I didn’t know existed. Then, when I thought it wasn’t even possible to have more love than I already did, my love grew for you each day. I love you more today than I did the first moment I saw you, and my heart overflows for you every day.
Some people say that on their baby’s first birthday they no longer remember life before baby. I remember. I remember life very well. And while I loved my life, I had no idea that there was an empty part of me just waiting to be filled by you. I had no idea of the joy that you would bring to my life.
You’ve taught me so much in your first year, William, and you don’t even know it. You, yourself, are busy learning and growing and because of you I am too. You’ve taught me about patience, forgiveness, and like I said – about a kind of love of which I was never aware.
In addition to all that you’ve taught me, you’ve enriched my life by being a part of it. I have never felt such joy as I have by watching you learn and grow. I have been enthralled by watching you learn to grab things, hold things, roll over, crawl, walk, talk – and all of the smaller discoveries in between. I loved watching you learn about our pets and begin to love our pets. I loved seeing how excited you got to see your daddy come home from work. I loved seeing you experience new aspects of the world for the first time – grass, rain, sunshine, snow – you just explored and soaked it all in. You amaze me all the time with how you pick up on things and how I can see the comprehension in your face. The first time you smiled at me when I picked you up from daycare I thought I’d never be happier for the rest of my life, but then that was overpowered the first day you briskly crawled to me with that grin on your face. Again, I thought I’d never be happier until the day you walked to me. You out-do yourself every time, and I don’t know when it stops. I can’t put into words the enrichment you’ve added to my life sweet boy.
Mommy and Daddy have had the most incredible year of our lives, and we have you and God to thank for that. We know that God blessed us tremendously with the gift of our son, and we know that we are only taking care of you for Him. We have prayed and prayed for guidance on how to be the best parents we can be and how to raise you in the way that He would want. We have loved having the opportunity to be a part of God’s greatest miracle – which is the creation of His children. Over the next year, daddy will be gone for awhile. He will be fighting for our country and the biggest reason he has this calling is to make our country as safe and free as possible for you. That is one way he knows best how to protect you, the most precious person in his world. While he’s away he will miss you more than you or I can know, and he will trust me to take care of you on my own. I promise both of you that I will do my best. I will do everything I can to help you learn and grow, to teach you and to guide you, but most of all to show you the love that the world has for you. You are such a blessed and loved baby with family and friends who are all overflowing with love for you – and it is my job to make sure you know that. I won’t always make the right choices I’m sure, but know that I will do my best and have your best interest at heart.
Although I said I do remember life before you, I can’t imagine life without you anymore. Your first birthday is more of a gift to me than any of the presents you will receive. This is the first February 2nd in 13 years which I haven’t dreaded, and from here forward it will be one of my favorite days of the year. Thank you, so much, for all you’ve done for me. As you grow up, please never forget how much your mommy and daddy love you.
Happy Birthday Little Bear.
Love,
Mommy