One year during move-in week in college my mom, Alfredo and I took a break from moving my stuff in at my new house to go see alexis's new apartment. I'm the type when I move in to get it all done and unpacked in one day, so we were nearly done and just needed a breather. We walked into her apartment and saw the prettiest most well put together person on moving day I'd ever seen. Instantly I begin thinking that I must have something up on this girl, just to make myself feel better, because who looks that good when moving boxes?
Then we talked for a few minutes and I noticed she had just as great of a personality. Again - on moving day!!! I feared I may lose Alexis forever :)
That was my first impression of jennie and in 6 years nothing has changed. She is always perfectly put together and has the perfect behavior and perfect attitude for whatever occasion. Whether we're out celebrating a 21st birthday at country bars or in a formal setting she knows how to present herself well!!!
Through living with alexis, Jennie and I became pretty good friends and we ended up working together at the coffee shop(remember my favorite job ever?) I realized after she graduated what it was that I liked so much about her: she embodied everything I strived to be, but she just always seemed to do it better. So she has always been a benchmark of what I'm reaching for. Whether it was test scores, her latest outfit when we went dancing at the Hall, her slim and trim physique at her bridal showers, how well she balances being a mom, wife, employee and student or just how thoughtful and giving she is - she does it all to a T. And how does she always manage to look so darn good doing it?!
She is always so generous and caring when it comes to our friendship and while I try endlessly to be as good to her as she is to me, I don't think I possibly could. I'm always taken back by her thoughtfulness and compassion.
I wish there was more I could do for her besides write a measly blog post, but for now it'll have to do. Hopefully in December Austin and I can make our way through San Antonio so I can finally meet her two handsome sons who have such a great mother.
Happy birthday Jennie - hope Jesse spoils you rotten :)
- manda
Jun 30, 2011
William Wednesday
William and I have spent the last week preparing for, enjoying, and recovering from our annual trip to south Carolina. If you count when he was in my belly, he has made it to more of these parties than Austin :)
Friday morning bright and early we headed to the airport. Because you already know of our flying woes from flight #1, I'll leave that part out. William did find that he loves pushing his stroller and now does it at home too!
His shy days and cling-to-mom days are behind him I think, either that or he's starting to recognize faces pretty well. He was instantly happy to see herb on the plane, Candace at the house and gene that night too. He had fun with all of them and with new cousins all weekend.
Herbs grandkids adored him and loved cuddling on the couch reading books and watching cartoons. As usual, William was only into cartoons for 5 minutes or so. He did like seeing Mickey though!
He had lots of fun with uncle gene. Maybe he recognizes him, maybe he looks like daddy, or maybe gene has a good knack for William I don't know. But william ran up to give him a hug every time he saw him!
Saturday morning we took him to the beach which was a new experience. In my head I assumed he would instantly love it, but he needed time to acquaint himself with it I think. His biggest issue was the sand. He did not like how it felt on his feet and didn't want any part of him to touch it at first!
Candace filled a bucket with water and brought it over for William to play with, which is how he eased himself into the beach experience. Soon he was throwing sand, running in water, splashing and having a good ol' time.
He was conked out afterwards!!!
And by the end of our sunday morning beach trip he didn't want to leave. I had to drag him out of the sand. Sunday Julia, his cousin, found a live starfish so we showed William the difference in the textures and he loved it. He was fascinated by the tentacles and he was sad when we set the starfish free.
Saturday night was the annual party/fundraiser for brain cancer and for the second year in a row it benefitted a young boy with a brain tumor. Because the boy loves motorcycles the party is kicked off by a bike rally which William found highly amusing.
After that he split his time between warming my heart
And warming herb's
We had a great time and hope we can go back again next year.
He reaffirmed his love for the outdoors, though, so this week every day after work he has informed me that it's time for a walk with layla. I suppose it's good for me :)
He's such an active little boy.
No rest for the weary.
I wish I knew where he got it.
- manda
Friday morning bright and early we headed to the airport. Because you already know of our flying woes from flight #1, I'll leave that part out. William did find that he loves pushing his stroller and now does it at home too!
His shy days and cling-to-mom days are behind him I think, either that or he's starting to recognize faces pretty well. He was instantly happy to see herb on the plane, Candace at the house and gene that night too. He had fun with all of them and with new cousins all weekend.
Herbs grandkids adored him and loved cuddling on the couch reading books and watching cartoons. As usual, William was only into cartoons for 5 minutes or so. He did like seeing Mickey though!
He had lots of fun with uncle gene. Maybe he recognizes him, maybe he looks like daddy, or maybe gene has a good knack for William I don't know. But william ran up to give him a hug every time he saw him!
Saturday morning we took him to the beach which was a new experience. In my head I assumed he would instantly love it, but he needed time to acquaint himself with it I think. His biggest issue was the sand. He did not like how it felt on his feet and didn't want any part of him to touch it at first!
Candace filled a bucket with water and brought it over for William to play with, which is how he eased himself into the beach experience. Soon he was throwing sand, running in water, splashing and having a good ol' time.
He was conked out afterwards!!!
And by the end of our sunday morning beach trip he didn't want to leave. I had to drag him out of the sand. Sunday Julia, his cousin, found a live starfish so we showed William the difference in the textures and he loved it. He was fascinated by the tentacles and he was sad when we set the starfish free.
Saturday night was the annual party/fundraiser for brain cancer and for the second year in a row it benefitted a young boy with a brain tumor. Because the boy loves motorcycles the party is kicked off by a bike rally which William found highly amusing.
After that he split his time between warming my heart
And warming herb's
We had a great time and hope we can go back again next year.
He reaffirmed his love for the outdoors, though, so this week every day after work he has informed me that it's time for a walk with layla. I suppose it's good for me :)
He's such an active little boy.
No rest for the weary.
I wish I knew where he got it.
- manda
Jun 28, 2011
Moms to learn from
I was stting on the plane Sunday afternoon, holding my precious boy as he slept, and I overheard a mom of an infant tell her husband, "that mom thought of EVERYTHING. Here I thought I did good bringing enough diapers and formula, but she's got books and toys and stickers and everything. I need to take some lessons from her"
I wanted to run to her and say "Don't beat yourself up, you did a great job!!! It's a work in progress". I didn't say anything, though. Sometimes I think its best if we don't let strangers know we're eavesdropping :) I also feel like she'll learn over time that we, as moms, will never achieve that perfection for which we strive. I know this, because I felt just like her.
I thought I had done a good job. I got William his cool new backpack, I filled it with fun new toys and activities to occupy our 5 hours of travel, I packed lunch and snacks and enough diapers for a small village. And that was all just in my mary poppins style carry on! In our suitcase we had plenty of clothes, a reenforcement stash of books, a couple more new toys to introduce on the way home, and some treats to reward William for the good behavior I just knew he'd bless me with.
In preparation for flight I let him run around the airport while not getting in anyone's way. I let him push his stroller around, ride the people movers back and forth, and let him climb all over vacant benches just to let him exert his energy.
I was just about to pin myself with the Mother of the Year award when William taught me some humility. About 2 hours into our first plane ride William all of a sudden had enough of it. He's thrown tantrums before, but I think they are usually short lived because I walk away and ignore him. However, when you're stuck on a plane with a few hundred people, a terrified single man sitting next to you, and your feet are crowded with all of the above mentioned goodies, you have no choice but to hold on tight to the screaming baby.
And I do not use the word "screaming" here lightly.
He was wailing. Face bright red. Snotty nose, globbery eyes. He was a mess. And do you know how long he let this kicking, hitting, screaming match go on? 45 minutes. NONSTOP. I was so embarassed, so frustrated, so defeated, and absolutely sure I was getting OFF The plane in Nashville and getting right back on the next plane to Denver. vacation CANCELLED.
Then, God with all the grace in the world sent Stephanie to us. At first I was even MORE humiliated when I heard a woman ask the man next to me to trade seats. "I just want to sit next to that sweet baby and his mama, would you mind trading seats with me?" The poor gentleman nearly hurldled over the seats in front of us, he couldn't get away quick enough. I was humiliated that someone else was going to have to help me with my own child. This is MY son, MY job, MY problem. Then I mentally asked myself which would be worse: her succeeding, thus making me feel like a failure, or her failing, thus making the next 45 minutes even more unbearable as now a stranger is in on the misery?
Well, I didn't have much of a choice so I tried to hide my tears behind my hair as she took one of William's shoes off and started scratching his feet and talking so sweetly to him. She asked what his name was, where we were headed, and mostly just carried conversation with me in a calm, soothing way. She told me that when she flew with her son he was behaving that way for almost 2 hours and the people around her were so nasty, so she just wanted to comfort me even if we couldn't calm William. After about 15 minutes, though, either my tummy scratches, Stephanie's foot scratches, or his own exhaustion from his fit took its toll and he fell asleep. Stephanie and I talked the rest of the way to Nashville. Turns out she is in the Air Force and had spent the week at Buckley for a conference. She asked me if Austin's email was on Buckley's email listing because she wanted to send him an email and tellhim that his wife deserves some flowers and a big hug, but his email is not on that list. Guess I'll have to buy my own flowers :P She was so sweet and even though I wasn't eager for her help, I'm not sure I could have kept my sanity without it.
The rest of the flight went well. Herb got on our plane in Nashville and flew with us to Charleston, so when William woke up he was excited to see a familiar face and he played with the fun toy Herb brought him. That's when he enjoyed his lunch, and I once again felt like I had successfully planned for the trip.
That is until I saw the CLOSET FULL of food that Herb's daughter Nicole had packed for her family. They drove to Charleston, which makes the food-storage a bit easier, but she had forgotten nothing. I think she had enough food to feed her family breakfast, lunch and dinner for a week. And plenty to spare! William LOVED her healthy, homemade pancakes and he ate a couple pb&j sandwiches on her delicious bread. I may or may not have stolen a hard boiled egg or 2. Really...it was like she was my mom and I was just another kid. My exact thought to myself as I left a thank you note on the table was, "I have a lot to learn from moms like her"
So when I heard the woman on the plane say that about me it all came full circle. As moms, I guess we just have a lot to learn from each other. And no matter how prepared we think we are, there's always going to be something we could have done better. On our next trip I'll remember how soothing scratching William's feet can be (worked like a charm on the flight back, by the way), I'll remember to pack more than just lunch, and I'll remember that little boys don't need multiple pairs of shoes on beach vacations; save the extra space for more toys!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
I wanted to run to her and say "Don't beat yourself up, you did a great job!!! It's a work in progress". I didn't say anything, though. Sometimes I think its best if we don't let strangers know we're eavesdropping :) I also feel like she'll learn over time that we, as moms, will never achieve that perfection for which we strive. I know this, because I felt just like her.
I thought I had done a good job. I got William his cool new backpack, I filled it with fun new toys and activities to occupy our 5 hours of travel, I packed lunch and snacks and enough diapers for a small village. And that was all just in my mary poppins style carry on! In our suitcase we had plenty of clothes, a reenforcement stash of books, a couple more new toys to introduce on the way home, and some treats to reward William for the good behavior I just knew he'd bless me with.
In preparation for flight I let him run around the airport while not getting in anyone's way. I let him push his stroller around, ride the people movers back and forth, and let him climb all over vacant benches just to let him exert his energy.
I was just about to pin myself with the Mother of the Year award when William taught me some humility. About 2 hours into our first plane ride William all of a sudden had enough of it. He's thrown tantrums before, but I think they are usually short lived because I walk away and ignore him. However, when you're stuck on a plane with a few hundred people, a terrified single man sitting next to you, and your feet are crowded with all of the above mentioned goodies, you have no choice but to hold on tight to the screaming baby.
And I do not use the word "screaming" here lightly.
He was wailing. Face bright red. Snotty nose, globbery eyes. He was a mess. And do you know how long he let this kicking, hitting, screaming match go on? 45 minutes. NONSTOP. I was so embarassed, so frustrated, so defeated, and absolutely sure I was getting OFF The plane in Nashville and getting right back on the next plane to Denver. vacation CANCELLED.
Then, God with all the grace in the world sent Stephanie to us. At first I was even MORE humiliated when I heard a woman ask the man next to me to trade seats. "I just want to sit next to that sweet baby and his mama, would you mind trading seats with me?" The poor gentleman nearly hurldled over the seats in front of us, he couldn't get away quick enough. I was humiliated that someone else was going to have to help me with my own child. This is MY son, MY job, MY problem. Then I mentally asked myself which would be worse: her succeeding, thus making me feel like a failure, or her failing, thus making the next 45 minutes even more unbearable as now a stranger is in on the misery?
Well, I didn't have much of a choice so I tried to hide my tears behind my hair as she took one of William's shoes off and started scratching his feet and talking so sweetly to him. She asked what his name was, where we were headed, and mostly just carried conversation with me in a calm, soothing way. She told me that when she flew with her son he was behaving that way for almost 2 hours and the people around her were so nasty, so she just wanted to comfort me even if we couldn't calm William. After about 15 minutes, though, either my tummy scratches, Stephanie's foot scratches, or his own exhaustion from his fit took its toll and he fell asleep. Stephanie and I talked the rest of the way to Nashville. Turns out she is in the Air Force and had spent the week at Buckley for a conference. She asked me if Austin's email was on Buckley's email listing because she wanted to send him an email and tellhim that his wife deserves some flowers and a big hug, but his email is not on that list. Guess I'll have to buy my own flowers :P She was so sweet and even though I wasn't eager for her help, I'm not sure I could have kept my sanity without it.
The rest of the flight went well. Herb got on our plane in Nashville and flew with us to Charleston, so when William woke up he was excited to see a familiar face and he played with the fun toy Herb brought him. That's when he enjoyed his lunch, and I once again felt like I had successfully planned for the trip.
That is until I saw the CLOSET FULL of food that Herb's daughter Nicole had packed for her family. They drove to Charleston, which makes the food-storage a bit easier, but she had forgotten nothing. I think she had enough food to feed her family breakfast, lunch and dinner for a week. And plenty to spare! William LOVED her healthy, homemade pancakes and he ate a couple pb&j sandwiches on her delicious bread. I may or may not have stolen a hard boiled egg or 2. Really...it was like she was my mom and I was just another kid. My exact thought to myself as I left a thank you note on the table was, "I have a lot to learn from moms like her"
So when I heard the woman on the plane say that about me it all came full circle. As moms, I guess we just have a lot to learn from each other. And no matter how prepared we think we are, there's always going to be something we could have done better. On our next trip I'll remember how soothing scratching William's feet can be (worked like a charm on the flight back, by the way), I'll remember to pack more than just lunch, and I'll remember that little boys don't need multiple pairs of shoes on beach vacations; save the extra space for more toys!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Jun 27, 2011
Happy birthday mom
When I was in college I was stressed out all the time. I worked as much as possible to pay the bills (and to hopefully have a little spending money), studied all the time like a good little bookworm, and became very good friends with clorox wipes. The clorox was an obsession to attempt to release all my stress and anxiety over being a student.
When I became a mom I was stressed all the time. I say this in past tense, which may be a little ambitious of me. Cleaning, laundry, bottles, tummy time, development, etc - the checklist is too large for one day. I was constantly realizing each day that I hadn't quite met par.
I can not imagine being a mom AND a student. I can not imagine having a husband with cancer. And if you were to ask me what I think of combining the 3 I think it's a recipe for insanity.
Or a recipe for greatness.
I only know one person who has ever successfully juggled a load like that, and today is her birthday!!!
I don't know how she managed to handle all of that. On top of that I don't know how she managed to make me 20 bows to surprise me one day when I came home from school. Or how she knew how to draw the most beautiful map of sweden. Or how she was able to maintain friendships, take care of her mom, and manage our home while doing the rest of it. She is proof that we are all built stronger than we think we are, and if she could handle all of that and more I can certainly handle 9 months of Austin being in afghanistan. She is my benchmark for strength, and she is the best example of how to provide my baby with all the love he needs despite whatever else is thrown on my plate.
My brothers and I tease her a lot for how emotional she is, but honestly if any one else had endured what she did I think they would have cracked much sooner. She was able to wait until we were strong enough to help hold her up.
Happy birthday mom - and even though William was not saying 'yaya' this morning, he wishes you a happy birthday too :)
- manda
When I became a mom I was stressed all the time. I say this in past tense, which may be a little ambitious of me. Cleaning, laundry, bottles, tummy time, development, etc - the checklist is too large for one day. I was constantly realizing each day that I hadn't quite met par.
I can not imagine being a mom AND a student. I can not imagine having a husband with cancer. And if you were to ask me what I think of combining the 3 I think it's a recipe for insanity.
Or a recipe for greatness.
I only know one person who has ever successfully juggled a load like that, and today is her birthday!!!
I don't know how she managed to handle all of that. On top of that I don't know how she managed to make me 20 bows to surprise me one day when I came home from school. Or how she knew how to draw the most beautiful map of sweden. Or how she was able to maintain friendships, take care of her mom, and manage our home while doing the rest of it. She is proof that we are all built stronger than we think we are, and if she could handle all of that and more I can certainly handle 9 months of Austin being in afghanistan. She is my benchmark for strength, and she is the best example of how to provide my baby with all the love he needs despite whatever else is thrown on my plate.
My brothers and I tease her a lot for how emotional she is, but honestly if any one else had endured what she did I think they would have cracked much sooner. She was able to wait until we were strong enough to help hold her up.
Happy birthday mom - and even though William was not saying 'yaya' this morning, he wishes you a happy birthday too :)
- manda
Jun 22, 2011
William Wednesday, family fun
William's week has been highlighted by fun with family! Friday his school was having 'fathers day fun day' and because Brian had the day off I asked him if he'd like to go. I told Brian that william's class would be playing with a big parachute and having splash day, so be prepared to be wet.
In true Brian fashion, he somehow mixed up the details and ended up on the wrong side of the playground. So instead of splash day William was sliding down a slide twice as tall and steep as he's used to and playing with the big kids. He had fun though!!!
Friday night he had a sleepover while I was at the 236th Army Birthday ball, and when we got home Saturday morning he had 2 new faces waiting to greet him. He's met Chelsea before, but I'm not sure he was old enough to remember. And Kyle was brand new!
He spent the weekend soaking up all of the lessons that Chelsea, Kyle and Brian taught him that I will try to reverse. Like throwing balls from the banister to the chair:
He loved it! And he loved them :) it took him MAYBE 10 minutes to warm up, and he had fun bouncing from adult to adult all weekend.
Saturday he was running on 3 too few hours of sleep and had a nasty pointed tooth coming in, so he was cranky at first. But after a 4 hour nap he was good to go!!!
Sunday morning I made breakfast for everyone (never thought I'd really go through a dozen eggs at once!) and William thought he should rub his tray all over his head. So we took a quick bath afterwards ;) in our bath I finally conceded to brian's claims that it was haircut time, so after his Sunday nap we went and got his hair cut.
He's been eating like a horse again, never seems full, so I think he's about to be out of his 18 month clothes. I guess he realizes his 18 month birthday is just around the corner and it's time for 18-24. Leave it to my son to be perfectly timely with his clothing sizing chart :) Either that or he's tired of wearing the same few t-shirts since most of his 12-18 clothes were long sleeved. Whatever :)
This weekend we will be visiting family in south Carolina so next wednesday will be full of more family fun I'm guessing :) and after such a busy social calendar I'm guessing lots of sleep is in order too!
- manda
In true Brian fashion, he somehow mixed up the details and ended up on the wrong side of the playground. So instead of splash day William was sliding down a slide twice as tall and steep as he's used to and playing with the big kids. He had fun though!!!
Friday night he had a sleepover while I was at the 236th Army Birthday ball, and when we got home Saturday morning he had 2 new faces waiting to greet him. He's met Chelsea before, but I'm not sure he was old enough to remember. And Kyle was brand new!
He spent the weekend soaking up all of the lessons that Chelsea, Kyle and Brian taught him that I will try to reverse. Like throwing balls from the banister to the chair:
He loved it! And he loved them :) it took him MAYBE 10 minutes to warm up, and he had fun bouncing from adult to adult all weekend.
Saturday he was running on 3 too few hours of sleep and had a nasty pointed tooth coming in, so he was cranky at first. But after a 4 hour nap he was good to go!!!
Sunday morning I made breakfast for everyone (never thought I'd really go through a dozen eggs at once!) and William thought he should rub his tray all over his head. So we took a quick bath afterwards ;) in our bath I finally conceded to brian's claims that it was haircut time, so after his Sunday nap we went and got his hair cut.
He's been eating like a horse again, never seems full, so I think he's about to be out of his 18 month clothes. I guess he realizes his 18 month birthday is just around the corner and it's time for 18-24. Leave it to my son to be perfectly timely with his clothing sizing chart :) Either that or he's tired of wearing the same few t-shirts since most of his 12-18 clothes were long sleeved. Whatever :)
This weekend we will be visiting family in south Carolina so next wednesday will be full of more family fun I'm guessing :) and after such a busy social calendar I'm guessing lots of sleep is in order too!
- manda
Jun 21, 2011
INFP. ESTJ, who cares
She's tall, I'm not.
She's blonde, I'm brunette.
She's thin, I'm....getting there.
She's compassionate, I try to be.
She's sensitive, I'm harsh.
She's frilly, I'm bland.
I'm naming all the ways in which Alexis out shines me, but I know there are qualities I have which she doesn't.
I can multi-task, she has trouble completing one task.
I am organized, she needs my organizational help tremendously.
I am witty...ok well I guess we tie on that one. Or at least together we both find each other extremely witty.
Alexis and I are exact opposites in any personality assessment you could find, and we are pretty opposite physically too. In the Myers-Briggs spectrum I am ESTJ: extrovert, sensing, thinking, judging while she is INFP: introvert, intuitive, feeling, perceiving. We aren't the same in a single way.
And yet, we get each other on levels that most people don't get us. We understand each other and have great appreciation for our differences. Even if the only thing she appreciates about my obsessive cleaning is the mere fact that it is a difference :) we provide such a different perspective for each other that I think we make it possible for each other to see things in a brighter light.
We've been friends for 13 years and we've always appreciated these things. I can't imagine not being able to call on her when I need someone to help soften my heart while also knowing that my logistical thinking can't be changed. We allow each other that opportunity, while most people simply want to change the way others think.
There's no one I'd rather slide on the trampoline in the rain with. There's no one I'd rather lock myself in the airport bathroom with while opening a bottle of wine by digging the cork out with a keychain. There's no one I'd rather go with to Latino day at astroworld. There's no one I'd rather have take me lingerie shopping, or fake engagement ring shopping, or any kind of shopping really. There's no one with whom I'd rather drink everclear and sunny delight(though I'd rather just never do that one again) and there's no one I'd want to share a pound of bacon with more than Alexis.
I'm so fortunate to call Alexis my friend, and I honestly can not envision there will be a day when I won't. We started off as different as they come, and nothing has wavered our appreciation, respect and love for each other.
From our adidas sandals with socks, to high heels and pearls we have grown and changed and yet always stay the same. I'm thankful.
Happy birthday Alexis, you old lady.
- manda
She's blonde, I'm brunette.
She's thin, I'm....getting there.
She's compassionate, I try to be.
She's sensitive, I'm harsh.
She's frilly, I'm bland.
I'm naming all the ways in which Alexis out shines me, but I know there are qualities I have which she doesn't.
I can multi-task, she has trouble completing one task.
I am organized, she needs my organizational help tremendously.
I am witty...ok well I guess we tie on that one. Or at least together we both find each other extremely witty.
Alexis and I are exact opposites in any personality assessment you could find, and we are pretty opposite physically too. In the Myers-Briggs spectrum I am ESTJ: extrovert, sensing, thinking, judging while she is INFP: introvert, intuitive, feeling, perceiving. We aren't the same in a single way.
And yet, we get each other on levels that most people don't get us. We understand each other and have great appreciation for our differences. Even if the only thing she appreciates about my obsessive cleaning is the mere fact that it is a difference :) we provide such a different perspective for each other that I think we make it possible for each other to see things in a brighter light.
We've been friends for 13 years and we've always appreciated these things. I can't imagine not being able to call on her when I need someone to help soften my heart while also knowing that my logistical thinking can't be changed. We allow each other that opportunity, while most people simply want to change the way others think.
There's no one I'd rather slide on the trampoline in the rain with. There's no one I'd rather lock myself in the airport bathroom with while opening a bottle of wine by digging the cork out with a keychain. There's no one I'd rather go with to Latino day at astroworld. There's no one I'd rather have take me lingerie shopping, or fake engagement ring shopping, or any kind of shopping really. There's no one with whom I'd rather drink everclear and sunny delight(though I'd rather just never do that one again) and there's no one I'd want to share a pound of bacon with more than Alexis.
I'm so fortunate to call Alexis my friend, and I honestly can not envision there will be a day when I won't. We started off as different as they come, and nothing has wavered our appreciation, respect and love for each other.
From our adidas sandals with socks, to high heels and pearls we have grown and changed and yet always stay the same. I'm thankful.
Happy birthday Alexis, you old lady.
- manda
Jun 17, 2011
If heaven wasn't so far
I had 2 dreams last night. First, I dreamt Austin was home for r&r and it was wonderful. Right up until I woke up :) The next dream was more abstract. I was watching a storm build in the sky. It was the kind of storm where you can visibly see the different pressure systems forming storm clouds and colliding.
And to my surprise, I didn't wake up disturbed or bothered by it. I know what it meant, and it doesn't bother me.
This week hasn't been the easiest, and I have felt at times like there is a storm cloud sitting over my head. From the animals to the hail storm, to my commute on Wednesday that took twice as long as it should - I've just felt like the more I tried the more my life resisted.
Add to that the fact that Sunday is both father's day and the anniversary of mimi's death and what do you get? Low pressure and high pressure systems building up a big storm. But for the first time all week, I woke up feeling as if I am in the calm of it all. And it felt great.
Father's day has always been very hard for me. Last year I loved it because I was able to focus all of my energy on celebrating Austin, but this year celebrating him doesn't bring any comfort. I made a fun package and am very excited for him to get it, but besides that it is just a day to remember even more how much I wish he and William could be together.
And it reminds me how much I wish I could be with my dad. And with his mom.
It's been a year since mimi passed away, and I still think of her almost every day. I don't struggle with thinking she's still alive anymore, or that I could still walk into her house and see her sitting in her chair. But I miss her as much as ever. I can still hear the way she would say 'I love ya!' or 'you're such a dear' every time I called. I miss that she always asked how Reagan and 'leasle' were doing, then quickly remembered Nancy too. I miss the calming feeling of driving up to her house, and the warm welcome with which she greeted me at the door. I miss her every day.
And missing her goes hand in hand with missing my dad. I still sometimes can't fathom that my children will never know my dad, or that I have now lived longer without him than with him. Those two facts just seem too far fetched for me to wrap my head around. I want William to know him, and not just by my words. I want him to run up to him the way he runs to Brian, and I want my dad to be as much of a blessing to William as mimi was to me.
I know William has 4 grandparents who adore him to pieces, and I know he is so richly blessed. I just know how full my life has been as a result of mimi and my dad, and I wish I could share that. As Justin Moore sings, 'if heaven wasn't so far away I'd pack up the kids and go for the day, introduce them to their grandpa...'
I wish I could send my dad a fathers day card, and I wish I could see William give Austin a fathers day hug. But I guess this year just isn't the year for that. So I'll rely on him one more time to wrap his little arms around my neck and fill me with the warmth of his love. And I know that soon I will again be able to celebrate Austin and william's relationship, and how much I am blessed through them.
Although this post seems very sad, this is the end of the struggles of my week. I've been through many, many grief milestones and it has been my experience that days like Sunday are much easier than the time leading up to them. So I know that the storm clouds are lifting, and I know that my dad can see me now. he knows how much I love him, and he loves his grandson like no other.
Like Laura story says in her song 'blessings': what if trials of this life are blessings in disguise?'
Thanks for that Alexis, I've leaned on it all week.
- manda
And to my surprise, I didn't wake up disturbed or bothered by it. I know what it meant, and it doesn't bother me.
This week hasn't been the easiest, and I have felt at times like there is a storm cloud sitting over my head. From the animals to the hail storm, to my commute on Wednesday that took twice as long as it should - I've just felt like the more I tried the more my life resisted.
Add to that the fact that Sunday is both father's day and the anniversary of mimi's death and what do you get? Low pressure and high pressure systems building up a big storm. But for the first time all week, I woke up feeling as if I am in the calm of it all. And it felt great.
Father's day has always been very hard for me. Last year I loved it because I was able to focus all of my energy on celebrating Austin, but this year celebrating him doesn't bring any comfort. I made a fun package and am very excited for him to get it, but besides that it is just a day to remember even more how much I wish he and William could be together.
And it reminds me how much I wish I could be with my dad. And with his mom.
It's been a year since mimi passed away, and I still think of her almost every day. I don't struggle with thinking she's still alive anymore, or that I could still walk into her house and see her sitting in her chair. But I miss her as much as ever. I can still hear the way she would say 'I love ya!' or 'you're such a dear' every time I called. I miss that she always asked how Reagan and 'leasle' were doing, then quickly remembered Nancy too. I miss the calming feeling of driving up to her house, and the warm welcome with which she greeted me at the door. I miss her every day.
And missing her goes hand in hand with missing my dad. I still sometimes can't fathom that my children will never know my dad, or that I have now lived longer without him than with him. Those two facts just seem too far fetched for me to wrap my head around. I want William to know him, and not just by my words. I want him to run up to him the way he runs to Brian, and I want my dad to be as much of a blessing to William as mimi was to me.
I know William has 4 grandparents who adore him to pieces, and I know he is so richly blessed. I just know how full my life has been as a result of mimi and my dad, and I wish I could share that. As Justin Moore sings, 'if heaven wasn't so far away I'd pack up the kids and go for the day, introduce them to their grandpa...'
I wish I could send my dad a fathers day card, and I wish I could see William give Austin a fathers day hug. But I guess this year just isn't the year for that. So I'll rely on him one more time to wrap his little arms around my neck and fill me with the warmth of his love. And I know that soon I will again be able to celebrate Austin and william's relationship, and how much I am blessed through them.
Although this post seems very sad, this is the end of the struggles of my week. I've been through many, many grief milestones and it has been my experience that days like Sunday are much easier than the time leading up to them. So I know that the storm clouds are lifting, and I know that my dad can see me now. he knows how much I love him, and he loves his grandson like no other.
Like Laura story says in her song 'blessings': what if trials of this life are blessings in disguise?'
Thanks for that Alexis, I've leaned on it all week.
- manda
Jun 15, 2011
Wee willy Wednesday
Mr. Independence.
On Friday I went to target when I got off work early. I mean naturally, what else would one do with 2 free hours? I was on a mission to build a fun bag for William for our flight next week. I also thought that the bag I found could become his school bag and 'maybe soon' he'd want to carry his own bag.
Right on time I was, because when I picked him up 2 hours later he INSISTED on carrying out his bag.
So, now we have a fun bag that is just for him...and he knows it!
Monday I made the grave mistake of attempting to steal said bag in an effort to help him up the porch steps.
NOOOOO MOM!
He started screaming and sat down on the porch in disgust. Brian heard the screaming so he opened the front door to find me surrendering to William and William still putting up a fight. Instantly William popped up, bag in hand, and reached for Brian to hold him. As Brian picked him up he looked back at me like 'I know uncle Brian would NEVER steal my bag.'
Lesson learned.
There's definitely a bond.
He also found a new affection for Katy, now that Katy let's him tackle! He tried whining when he got a minor scrape from wrestling but I told him that if he is going to wrestle with Katy he may get scratches. Anything worse and Katy would be dead, of course.
He also learned to blow bubbles in the bathtub this week. And he thinks it's hilarious. He almost cries he laughs so hard!
Last night I was laying on my back in the living room - somewhat in defeat - and william did the sweetest thing. He climbed on my stomach, leaned down and kissed me, then leaned up and looked at me with a grin, as if to say 'don't be sad mommy, I love you'
And with moments like that my life is so richly blessed.
- manda
On Friday I went to target when I got off work early. I mean naturally, what else would one do with 2 free hours? I was on a mission to build a fun bag for William for our flight next week. I also thought that the bag I found could become his school bag and 'maybe soon' he'd want to carry his own bag.
Right on time I was, because when I picked him up 2 hours later he INSISTED on carrying out his bag.
So, now we have a fun bag that is just for him...and he knows it!
Monday I made the grave mistake of attempting to steal said bag in an effort to help him up the porch steps.
NOOOOO MOM!
He started screaming and sat down on the porch in disgust. Brian heard the screaming so he opened the front door to find me surrendering to William and William still putting up a fight. Instantly William popped up, bag in hand, and reached for Brian to hold him. As Brian picked him up he looked back at me like 'I know uncle Brian would NEVER steal my bag.'
Lesson learned.
There's definitely a bond.
He also found a new affection for Katy, now that Katy let's him tackle! He tried whining when he got a minor scrape from wrestling but I told him that if he is going to wrestle with Katy he may get scratches. Anything worse and Katy would be dead, of course.
He also learned to blow bubbles in the bathtub this week. And he thinks it's hilarious. He almost cries he laughs so hard!
Last night I was laying on my back in the living room - somewhat in defeat - and william did the sweetest thing. He climbed on my stomach, leaned down and kissed me, then leaned up and looked at me with a grin, as if to say 'don't be sad mommy, I love you'
And with moments like that my life is so richly blessed.
- manda
Jun 14, 2011
hailing cats and dogs
Alexis and I used to think that our lives were like the movie The Truman Show. But, we were the first to admit that people would have to be really desperate to find our lives amusing. Then again, people do somehow find entertainment in the kardashians - but that's a different story. What, because they have bigger butts and smaller waists than me their lives are all of a sudden important? Ok moving on.
I now think that if my life were a sitcom such as The Truman Show I would rival The Office in comical content.
Remember my bloody mess on Sunday? Well, I did such a great job of cleaning the kitchen floor that night. I literally paced back and forth barefoot because it felt so nice. So then what happens yesterday? William grabs layla's food bowl (which apparently was too close to the edge of the table) and dumped it all out. I thought I'd ask him to help me clean up, which worked for about 10 pieces of food. Then he found that just sliding the food and crumbs all over the kitchen was more entertaining. So, I was on hands and knees scooping up all the food as fast as possible trying to keep it away from him.
But who was I failing to block from the food? Katy. And what does Katy do when she eats food that isn't hers and then sees her daddy come home? She throws up I all her excitement all over my not-so-squeaky clean floor.
I debated redoing the kitchen floor last night, until I smelled dog pee in the living room as I was cleaning up william's toys. I can only use the spot cleaner so many times before I just have to buckle down and commit to a fill carpet shampoo. So after a quick fix to the kitchen, at 9:30 last night I was shampooing my living room. I marveled in it's beauty as I walked upstairs to pass out.
I was woken up 15 minutes before my alarm (so infuriating) to the sound of hail pounding on my roof, 2 dogs panting in the corner with their tails between their legs, a psychotic cat running rampant through the house and a timid cat too afraid to crawl out from under the covers. She was completely covered, I couldn't even find her until I pulled all the covers off.
And I just sat there. Listening.
It was the kind of storm that would have seemed SO COOL if I weren't the owner of the home and the truck in the driveway. Instead all I could think about was the potential damage, and the fact that the storm could wake William up 1.5 hours early.
It's times like this when I think Alexis and I must have been right. Someone must be getting sheer pleasure out of all of this.
Me, I need a cocktail. Is it time for my private butler in Jamaica yet?
- manda
I now think that if my life were a sitcom such as The Truman Show I would rival The Office in comical content.
Remember my bloody mess on Sunday? Well, I did such a great job of cleaning the kitchen floor that night. I literally paced back and forth barefoot because it felt so nice. So then what happens yesterday? William grabs layla's food bowl (which apparently was too close to the edge of the table) and dumped it all out. I thought I'd ask him to help me clean up, which worked for about 10 pieces of food. Then he found that just sliding the food and crumbs all over the kitchen was more entertaining. So, I was on hands and knees scooping up all the food as fast as possible trying to keep it away from him.
But who was I failing to block from the food? Katy. And what does Katy do when she eats food that isn't hers and then sees her daddy come home? She throws up I all her excitement all over my not-so-squeaky clean floor.
I debated redoing the kitchen floor last night, until I smelled dog pee in the living room as I was cleaning up william's toys. I can only use the spot cleaner so many times before I just have to buckle down and commit to a fill carpet shampoo. So after a quick fix to the kitchen, at 9:30 last night I was shampooing my living room. I marveled in it's beauty as I walked upstairs to pass out.
I was woken up 15 minutes before my alarm (so infuriating) to the sound of hail pounding on my roof, 2 dogs panting in the corner with their tails between their legs, a psychotic cat running rampant through the house and a timid cat too afraid to crawl out from under the covers. She was completely covered, I couldn't even find her until I pulled all the covers off.
And I just sat there. Listening.
It was the kind of storm that would have seemed SO COOL if I weren't the owner of the home and the truck in the driveway. Instead all I could think about was the potential damage, and the fact that the storm could wake William up 1.5 hours early.
It's times like this when I think Alexis and I must have been right. Someone must be getting sheer pleasure out of all of this.
Me, I need a cocktail. Is it time for my private butler in Jamaica yet?
- manda
Jun 13, 2011
Happy birthday sis!
I don't entirely remember how much I wrote about Patty last year when she and Keith got married. I know I wrote about how beautiful of a person she is, inside and out. And she truly is! She has one of the gentlest hearts I've ever known.
Patty and I met in high school and we commiserated with each other about being solo instruments in band. If the piccolo messed up, everyone knew it was me! And patty had to deal with that too playing oboe. We were instant friends. And we share the special bond of having our first pedicures together :)
Then one day someone who must have loved me very much paid me a huge compliment: in a picture of the 2 of us, he told me that patty and I looked like sisters. True or not, I'd take it! She is just beautiful and had a smile that can light up a room.
We navigated through high school, college, broken hearts and weddings together and I can't imagine not having had her there. I especially appreciate her analysis of Austin's emails with me...or should I say her patience as I analyzed them for hours as she was forced to listen. She may have passed on the trips to cold stone if she knew my purse carried pages and pages of script to be read every which way.
Sadly, patty and I have grown busier as adults do and we don't talk nearly as much as we used to. But, funny thing is she is on my mind as much as ever. I think about her all the time and hope that it isn't long before I can see her again.
I wish I could fly to Houston to take my 'sis' out for her birthday...pedicures and cold stone ice cream sure sound nice!
Happy birthday patty - Iove you!
- manda
Patty and I met in high school and we commiserated with each other about being solo instruments in band. If the piccolo messed up, everyone knew it was me! And patty had to deal with that too playing oboe. We were instant friends. And we share the special bond of having our first pedicures together :)
Then one day someone who must have loved me very much paid me a huge compliment: in a picture of the 2 of us, he told me that patty and I looked like sisters. True or not, I'd take it! She is just beautiful and had a smile that can light up a room.
We navigated through high school, college, broken hearts and weddings together and I can't imagine not having had her there. I especially appreciate her analysis of Austin's emails with me...or should I say her patience as I analyzed them for hours as she was forced to listen. She may have passed on the trips to cold stone if she knew my purse carried pages and pages of script to be read every which way.
Sadly, patty and I have grown busier as adults do and we don't talk nearly as much as we used to. But, funny thing is she is on my mind as much as ever. I think about her all the time and hope that it isn't long before I can see her again.
I wish I could fly to Houston to take my 'sis' out for her birthday...pedicures and cold stone ice cream sure sound nice!
Happy birthday patty - Iove you!
- manda
Jun 12, 2011
Have you seen my mind?
Do you remember the post I wrote when I announced that Austin was going to be deployed? If you don't, or if you weren't reading back then, let me bring you up to speed. I wrote a poised, well written and well thought out, heartfelt post as the wonderful wife that I am about how we can do this, we can handle this, we signed up for this, blahbittyblah. I closed with "but god help me if Reagan has a bleeding tail"
Well, God help me.
In case you were not an avid reader almost 2 years ago when I introduced my blog to reagan's neurosis, let me bring you up to speed on him too. He is neurotic. I think that gets you to where you need to be. If you wanna know more details or are just looking for another 5 minutes worth of time spent on the Internet, surf through the late summer/early fall of 2009 for a post about Reagan. But basically he gets stressed and chews on his tail until it bleeds. We have been using plug-in pheromones (a drain on my paycheck) for almost 2 years now and they have seriously worked like a charm. With the exception of shortly after Williams birth, Reagan hasn't ever been caught psychotically mutilating himself.
Until now. Brian is staying with us which I absolutely love, which means his dog Katy is with us which I also love. Reagan however hates anything that disrupts his life and routine, and a barking, yapping, hyper, full-of-energy dog bolting up and down the stairs does not fit into his plan. So, last night he attacked his tail. I did my best to keep my cool. I cleaned his tail, cleaned the blood drops, and decided I'd shut the baby gate and leave him in the kitchen so that he could have some personal space. When I woke up this morning there was no blood to be seen, so I applauded my efforts to keep my half sane cat happy.
Little did I know he was just waiting for me to be present so that he could let me know just how unhappy he was. About five minutes after breakfast he started losing his mind.
There I was, sitting on the kitchen floor with the baby gate closed off to the living room. Sitting in a blood bath. Dog whining at the back door to come in. Another dog barking incessantly upstairs. Cat whining at the back door to go out (he is not an outdoor cat) and whining at the gate to go out, and whining...all over the damn kitchen. Other cat patiently (to the point of annoyance) standing by the empty water bowl sending me voodoo messages to hydrate her. Child screaming at the gate, throwing toys over the top, asserting his frustration that he was alone on the other side of the gate.
Trust me William, you had the better end of the deal.
In that moment, I was certain that if I did not get out of the house one of the animals would not see tomorrow. And at that point, I honestly didn't care which one. I sat there. Defeated. I gave in to everyone. I let Layla in, I let Reagan out, I gave Nancy water, and after I cleaned up all the blood (quite a lot this time) I let William in. But still there I sat. I lost. I had thought surely I could make it more than halfway through the deployment before I'd lose my mind and lose my control, but no. It was all gone. To try to find some sort of control and peace I thought I'd take William on a walk. I had no intention of taking a dog, but Layla squeezed her way out the front door and I was all out of fight in me to send her back inside. So away we went.
After our walk it was 11:00 and I thought maybe I could get my day back. If I hurried I could grab lunch for William and myself somewhere, make it to the grocery store and back home by 12:45 when William would certainly take a nap. But, when I looked in my rearview mirror at 11:15 before we even made it to lunch and saw William peacefully sleeping I realized I had lost again.
It's sad when you wish the day done before noon.
But then the most wonderful thing happened. William cuddled in my lap the entire time I ate my lunch, and we just sat there in paradise cafe enjoying each other. After I finished eating he woke up as if an alarm had gone off, he ate his food, and then we walked outside. We played in the little water fountain/play spot of the outdoor mall for maybe 20 minutes, stopped at petco for more pheromones, and headed home. He was hilarious while we were playing outside and had me laughing the whole time. He loves being outside and is such a happy little boy.
And again, without knowing he was doing anything, William ruined my plans and in turn made my day. The rest of the day got back on schedule, I managed to get grocery shopping done and prepared for the week, and Reagan is now peacefully laying on the end of my bed.
It's almost as if this morning never happened. Too bad the blood spots on the wall prove it did.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Well, God help me.
In case you were not an avid reader almost 2 years ago when I introduced my blog to reagan's neurosis, let me bring you up to speed on him too. He is neurotic. I think that gets you to where you need to be. If you wanna know more details or are just looking for another 5 minutes worth of time spent on the Internet, surf through the late summer/early fall of 2009 for a post about Reagan. But basically he gets stressed and chews on his tail until it bleeds. We have been using plug-in pheromones (a drain on my paycheck) for almost 2 years now and they have seriously worked like a charm. With the exception of shortly after Williams birth, Reagan hasn't ever been caught psychotically mutilating himself.
Until now. Brian is staying with us which I absolutely love, which means his dog Katy is with us which I also love. Reagan however hates anything that disrupts his life and routine, and a barking, yapping, hyper, full-of-energy dog bolting up and down the stairs does not fit into his plan. So, last night he attacked his tail. I did my best to keep my cool. I cleaned his tail, cleaned the blood drops, and decided I'd shut the baby gate and leave him in the kitchen so that he could have some personal space. When I woke up this morning there was no blood to be seen, so I applauded my efforts to keep my half sane cat happy.
Little did I know he was just waiting for me to be present so that he could let me know just how unhappy he was. About five minutes after breakfast he started losing his mind.
There I was, sitting on the kitchen floor with the baby gate closed off to the living room. Sitting in a blood bath. Dog whining at the back door to come in. Another dog barking incessantly upstairs. Cat whining at the back door to go out (he is not an outdoor cat) and whining at the gate to go out, and whining...all over the damn kitchen. Other cat patiently (to the point of annoyance) standing by the empty water bowl sending me voodoo messages to hydrate her. Child screaming at the gate, throwing toys over the top, asserting his frustration that he was alone on the other side of the gate.
Trust me William, you had the better end of the deal.
In that moment, I was certain that if I did not get out of the house one of the animals would not see tomorrow. And at that point, I honestly didn't care which one. I sat there. Defeated. I gave in to everyone. I let Layla in, I let Reagan out, I gave Nancy water, and after I cleaned up all the blood (quite a lot this time) I let William in. But still there I sat. I lost. I had thought surely I could make it more than halfway through the deployment before I'd lose my mind and lose my control, but no. It was all gone. To try to find some sort of control and peace I thought I'd take William on a walk. I had no intention of taking a dog, but Layla squeezed her way out the front door and I was all out of fight in me to send her back inside. So away we went.
After our walk it was 11:00 and I thought maybe I could get my day back. If I hurried I could grab lunch for William and myself somewhere, make it to the grocery store and back home by 12:45 when William would certainly take a nap. But, when I looked in my rearview mirror at 11:15 before we even made it to lunch and saw William peacefully sleeping I realized I had lost again.
It's sad when you wish the day done before noon.
But then the most wonderful thing happened. William cuddled in my lap the entire time I ate my lunch, and we just sat there in paradise cafe enjoying each other. After I finished eating he woke up as if an alarm had gone off, he ate his food, and then we walked outside. We played in the little water fountain/play spot of the outdoor mall for maybe 20 minutes, stopped at petco for more pheromones, and headed home. He was hilarious while we were playing outside and had me laughing the whole time. He loves being outside and is such a happy little boy.
And again, without knowing he was doing anything, William ruined my plans and in turn made my day. The rest of the day got back on schedule, I managed to get grocery shopping done and prepared for the week, and Reagan is now peacefully laying on the end of my bed.
It's almost as if this morning never happened. Too bad the blood spots on the wall prove it did.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Jun 9, 2011
Sooooo excited!
Things have really seemed to fall into place this year in order to keep me excited at all times.
I was so excited for Brian to move here and now that he's here, I'm excited for Chelsea and kyle's temporary home in Colorado.
Once they arrive I'll be excited for south Carolina, then kaila's wedding, then Addie, my
Mom, Mandy and leon's visits...then r&r. That excitement far exceeds the rest, so the end of that could mean 3 months of sulking - but it wont!!!
I do have a slight lull after austin goes back to Afghanistan which will allow me to recover and then guess what?
I will soon welcome my baby niece Kelli Lynn!!! I love her full name so much I may always call her Kelli Lynn :) I can not wait for her to be born! William and I better start shopping for airfare to go meet her...and I better take a throw away suitcase to carry all of the presents we will surely accumulate :)
I've always dreamt of having a niece. As much as I always wanted a son I've wanted a niece. My aunt and I, as I've written before, have such a special relationship that I envision Kelli and I in the same way. I am so excited to spoil her, play with her, pamper her and love on her.
And I have high hopes that she is able to keep William in line in the way that Chelsea and I always *attempted to* keep the boys in line. William is all boy, a wild man, he has mischief all over his face...he'll definitely need some guidance.
Kelli - my hope is in you :)
October can't get here soon enough, so lucky for me I have plenty to keep me busy along the way!!!
- manda
I was so excited for Brian to move here and now that he's here, I'm excited for Chelsea and kyle's temporary home in Colorado.
Once they arrive I'll be excited for south Carolina, then kaila's wedding, then Addie, my
Mom, Mandy and leon's visits...then r&r. That excitement far exceeds the rest, so the end of that could mean 3 months of sulking - but it wont!!!
I do have a slight lull after austin goes back to Afghanistan which will allow me to recover and then guess what?
I will soon welcome my baby niece Kelli Lynn!!! I love her full name so much I may always call her Kelli Lynn :) I can not wait for her to be born! William and I better start shopping for airfare to go meet her...and I better take a throw away suitcase to carry all of the presents we will surely accumulate :)
I've always dreamt of having a niece. As much as I always wanted a son I've wanted a niece. My aunt and I, as I've written before, have such a special relationship that I envision Kelli and I in the same way. I am so excited to spoil her, play with her, pamper her and love on her.
And I have high hopes that she is able to keep William in line in the way that Chelsea and I always *attempted to* keep the boys in line. William is all boy, a wild man, he has mischief all over his face...he'll definitely need some guidance.
Kelli - my hope is in you :)
October can't get here soon enough, so lucky for me I have plenty to keep me busy along the way!!!
- manda
Jun 8, 2011
William Wednesday
I am down in the locker room of the 'fitness center' (in quotations for a reason) at my new unnamed job, blogging from my least favorite blogging device. Please realize the huge sacrifice I am making here :)
William woke up one day and was no longer a baby. I don't know when it happened but I think it was memorial day weekend. Even miss Cassie noticed when we went back to school after the 4 day weekend. He just isn't a baby! He's a full fledged toddler.
The first day back at school after memorial day he decided he now is big enough to walk himself into the building. He leans down once we get onto the sidewalk and trots on in there. And the PRIDE on his face is the most adorable thing. He makes sure to look in every door or window an ensures that everyone can see him walking. I am just along for Backpack carrying duties and once i find one in his size he will no longer need my assistance. Which may explain why I haven't even looked for a backpack yet :)
They are learning animal sounds at school and yesterday miss Cassie said his lion roar is VERY scary and he loves doing it. I tried all night but all I could get was a monkey. Precious, of course :)
William is very much enjoying having his uncle Brian here. It took him all of maybe 20 minutes to warm up, and 2 nights ago right when we got in the house he ran over, grabbed a book and too it to Brian for him to read. Brian has learned the key parts of all of william's books. For instance, in his Elmo 'so big' book William really just wants you to open up to the last page where Elmo pops up.
He also very much enjoys our walks still. He orchestrated another one this weekend :)
He is learning his boundaries and how to push them, which means I am learning patience and learning all about 'one more time and bath time is over...' :)
I know this is short...I just needed to be sure I got it in here. Soon I hope to add 'blog' to my regimented evening routine. Soon...
- manda
William woke up one day and was no longer a baby. I don't know when it happened but I think it was memorial day weekend. Even miss Cassie noticed when we went back to school after the 4 day weekend. He just isn't a baby! He's a full fledged toddler.
The first day back at school after memorial day he decided he now is big enough to walk himself into the building. He leans down once we get onto the sidewalk and trots on in there. And the PRIDE on his face is the most adorable thing. He makes sure to look in every door or window an ensures that everyone can see him walking. I am just along for Backpack carrying duties and once i find one in his size he will no longer need my assistance. Which may explain why I haven't even looked for a backpack yet :)
They are learning animal sounds at school and yesterday miss Cassie said his lion roar is VERY scary and he loves doing it. I tried all night but all I could get was a monkey. Precious, of course :)
William is very much enjoying having his uncle Brian here. It took him all of maybe 20 minutes to warm up, and 2 nights ago right when we got in the house he ran over, grabbed a book and too it to Brian for him to read. Brian has learned the key parts of all of william's books. For instance, in his Elmo 'so big' book William really just wants you to open up to the last page where Elmo pops up.
He also very much enjoys our walks still. He orchestrated another one this weekend :)
He is learning his boundaries and how to push them, which means I am learning patience and learning all about 'one more time and bath time is over...' :)
I know this is short...I just needed to be sure I got it in here. Soon I hope to add 'blog' to my regimented evening routine. Soon...
- manda
Jun 6, 2011
Impressed with my friends
This morning when I got to work Paul asked me what I did this weekend.
'my friend Alexis came into town", I reminded him.
"I am really impressed with how often your friends come to see you" was his reply.
Yep, I have some awesome family and friends. He went on to say that none of his friends have ever visited him in the 9 years he has lived here, and he can count on his hands the number of times anyone from his family has visited.
Yep, I'm lucky :)
Brian and his girlfriend Sarah are at my house for a little bit while Brian works on buying his own first house (very exciting!) so the 3 of us along with William had a great weekend with Alexis. I almost felt bad - thinking that my life is far too boring for them, but they all 3 said they enjoyed just relaxing and doing nothing, and that William is entertainment enough.
Well duh! Between running around the house, reading books, Throwing balls and playing with pets who even needs a TV? William took turns crawling in all of our laps by the end of the weekend - I'm pretty sure he was enjoying having 4 people to boss around. :)
Saturday night Alexis and I took a trip down memory lane and convinced Brian and Sarah that we should all play cranium. We used to play all the time in high school - such cool kids we were. Anyway, we had lots of fun!!! And if you ever wanted to know, Alexis can draw a killer centipede and I do an equally impressive impression of a sloth. Not only are we cool, we are talented as well.
2.5 days isn't much, but it was awesome to have her here. And a big thanks to Jake for Sharing his wife with me :)
- manda
'my friend Alexis came into town", I reminded him.
"I am really impressed with how often your friends come to see you" was his reply.
Yep, I have some awesome family and friends. He went on to say that none of his friends have ever visited him in the 9 years he has lived here, and he can count on his hands the number of times anyone from his family has visited.
Yep, I'm lucky :)
Brian and his girlfriend Sarah are at my house for a little bit while Brian works on buying his own first house (very exciting!) so the 3 of us along with William had a great weekend with Alexis. I almost felt bad - thinking that my life is far too boring for them, but they all 3 said they enjoyed just relaxing and doing nothing, and that William is entertainment enough.
Well duh! Between running around the house, reading books, Throwing balls and playing with pets who even needs a TV? William took turns crawling in all of our laps by the end of the weekend - I'm pretty sure he was enjoying having 4 people to boss around. :)
Saturday night Alexis and I took a trip down memory lane and convinced Brian and Sarah that we should all play cranium. We used to play all the time in high school - such cool kids we were. Anyway, we had lots of fun!!! And if you ever wanted to know, Alexis can draw a killer centipede and I do an equally impressive impression of a sloth. Not only are we cool, we are talented as well.
2.5 days isn't much, but it was awesome to have her here. And a big thanks to Jake for Sharing his wife with me :)
- manda
Jun 2, 2011
WTW Thursday
I really should have looked into my new employer's Internet policy. End of story.
William had a fun but slightly rough week. He cut his mouth with a straw, cut 3 new teeth, hit his cheek on the stairs and SLAMMED his head on a railing!
Pretty traumatic.
Despite that, he had fun! We had a 4 day weekend together to finish off my Unemployment and it was awesome!!! Jan and Marty were in town part of the time and William gravitated towards Marty big time. He loves when he has boys around to play with!
On Sunday evening he learned to say 'papa'. He has a foam book with slots to slide your own pictures into, so we use it as his family book. He loves to look at it and I always name everyone in the pictures. He repeated 'papa' back to me multiple times then just kept saying it. Then two nights later I heard him chanting 'papa' again and when I looked I saw he was holding the book open to the correct page!!!
He also decided this week that he is now big enough to walk himself into school. You should see the pride!!! He walks down the hallway with his head up high, looking and smiling at all the teachers along the way. Then he stops at the door to the hippo room and waits for me to let him in :) guess it's time to get him a backpack that he can carry all by himself!
One thing we did in abundance on our 4 day weekend was go on walks. We walked Friday, Saturday, and twice sunday. Then on Monday when I thought we were going to the store he had his own plans:
Everyone asks me if the Leash was meant for me or Layla, and honestly I don't know :) Layla joined us on half of our walks and she did pretty well!
Uncle Brian FINALLY arrived in colorado yesterday. I feel like we've been waiting forever!!! William didn't take too long to warm up, and with the help of his Elmo pop up book Brian had won him over rather quickly :)
Brian's dog Katy won his heart quickly too:
He is 16 months old today and he is every bit his age...he has learned and grown so fast and it has been the most joyous 16 months of my life :) he amazes me with his motor skills and his coordination every day - he can do so much, I can hardly keep up!!! Luckily I was able to get his scrapbook somewhat up to date and at least documented some milestones while I was in between jobs...I need unemployment weeks just to keep track of william's growth!!!
Tonight we are both sleeping in our daddy shirts, and we know daddy is somewhere sleeping in his too. Won't be long before we can all sleep together in our hotel in San Diego :) can't wait!!!!
- manda
William had a fun but slightly rough week. He cut his mouth with a straw, cut 3 new teeth, hit his cheek on the stairs and SLAMMED his head on a railing!
Pretty traumatic.
Despite that, he had fun! We had a 4 day weekend together to finish off my Unemployment and it was awesome!!! Jan and Marty were in town part of the time and William gravitated towards Marty big time. He loves when he has boys around to play with!
On Sunday evening he learned to say 'papa'. He has a foam book with slots to slide your own pictures into, so we use it as his family book. He loves to look at it and I always name everyone in the pictures. He repeated 'papa' back to me multiple times then just kept saying it. Then two nights later I heard him chanting 'papa' again and when I looked I saw he was holding the book open to the correct page!!!
He also decided this week that he is now big enough to walk himself into school. You should see the pride!!! He walks down the hallway with his head up high, looking and smiling at all the teachers along the way. Then he stops at the door to the hippo room and waits for me to let him in :) guess it's time to get him a backpack that he can carry all by himself!
One thing we did in abundance on our 4 day weekend was go on walks. We walked Friday, Saturday, and twice sunday. Then on Monday when I thought we were going to the store he had his own plans:
Everyone asks me if the Leash was meant for me or Layla, and honestly I don't know :) Layla joined us on half of our walks and she did pretty well!
Uncle Brian FINALLY arrived in colorado yesterday. I feel like we've been waiting forever!!! William didn't take too long to warm up, and with the help of his Elmo pop up book Brian had won him over rather quickly :)
Brian's dog Katy won his heart quickly too:
He is 16 months old today and he is every bit his age...he has learned and grown so fast and it has been the most joyous 16 months of my life :) he amazes me with his motor skills and his coordination every day - he can do so much, I can hardly keep up!!! Luckily I was able to get his scrapbook somewhat up to date and at least documented some milestones while I was in between jobs...I need unemployment weeks just to keep track of william's growth!!!
Tonight we are both sleeping in our daddy shirts, and we know daddy is somewhere sleeping in his too. Won't be long before we can all sleep together in our hotel in San Diego :) can't wait!!!!
- manda
My heart is breaking
It was about one year ago when I suggested to Austin that we reevaluate our decision to end his army career in 2011. Our re-evaluation process never really finished as his deployment came up on the docket, but I had initiated that conversation. Why? Well, there were a lot of reasons but primarily it was because of the army family. I had grown to see the impact of the army family and the support system of which we are a part, and I felt a strong tug on my heart to not walk away from that family.
Case in point:
There is a family that is new to our unit who are experiencing extreme struggles right now. They were recently reassigned to our unit due to the soldier's wife being diagnosed with leukemia. He needed to be in a unit where he wouldn't have to deploy, and near a hospital capable of treating her cancer.
Tough situation right?
She was also less than 6 months pregnant when they received her diagnosis. So, at 26 weeks gestation she delivered their fourth child and currently baby and mom are still in the hospital.
Because the school year has ended the husband has to spend his time taking care of the other children and isn't able to stay at the hospital during the days like he was previously, so she is all alone. When she doesn't have infections she can see the baby, but with leukemia and her lowered immune system she is very prone to infections.
Miss Kim, william's former teacher, is in charge of coordinating meals, laundry services and is trying to figure out how to help the husband with the older kids so he can spend more time at the hospital with both his wife and his baby.
My heart breaks for those kids whose lives are being thrown into a tornado. I remember eating the generously donated meals every night. I remember spending time hopping from family to family so my mom could take care of all of the things on her plate. I remember wanting to be with my dad yet being so bored at the hospital. I remember it all, and all I've ever wanted is for no other child to have to endure that.
My heart breaks for the father. In a MUCH smaller degree I know what it is like to try to be a single parent but keeping in mind that you aren't a single parent. I know what it is like to have hundreds of decisions to make by yourself while also trying to give the other parent the ability to somewhat be involved in decision making. I know what it is like to try to figure out how to get the house cleaned, laundry done, food prepared, child entertained all alone, always worrying about your spouse, while maintaining your own sanity. I know, and I can sympathize with him although his situation is infinitely harder and more challenging.
My heart breaks for that mother. I DON'T know what it is like to be unable to take your child home from the hospital. I don't know what it's like to constantly wonder if you will even be at your son's first birthday. I don't know what it is like to have to be an on-looker in your children's lives; to sit alone in a hospital; to be unable to care for or provide for your family.
I want to be able to do so much for this family whom I haven't met, and I love the fact that there are so many other army families lining up to help out. My family was so blessed to be a part of the church family which we were, and they were so giving and so helpful. There were people lining up to help my family in ways that I still do not know to this day. There were people who sat with my dad during treatments, people drove him to appointments, people took care of my brothers and me...and those are just the parts that I am aware of. I want to be able to pay it forward. I want to know that I can somehow lighten the heavy, heavy load that this family is enduring...I just don't quite know how.
I am on the laundry duty list and am available anytime no one else signs up, but that doesn't seem like enough. I KNOW what these children are going through, and yet I still do not have a clue of how to help them. What can I do? What can I say? How can I bring any joy into their lives?
Please pray for this family. Please pray for that baby who is 4 pounds right now, fighting for his own life in this world. Please pray for his mother who is unable to bond in the way that new babies need, and that moms deserve. Pray for the father and for the other kids. And please pray that I am able to find a way to help them in the great way that so many people helped me.
And if you are one of those helpers- if you fed me, clothed me, entertained me or did things without my knowledge: thank you. Thank you a million times over, and any suggestions as to how I can pay it forward are greatly appreciated.
- manda
Case in point:
There is a family that is new to our unit who are experiencing extreme struggles right now. They were recently reassigned to our unit due to the soldier's wife being diagnosed with leukemia. He needed to be in a unit where he wouldn't have to deploy, and near a hospital capable of treating her cancer.
Tough situation right?
She was also less than 6 months pregnant when they received her diagnosis. So, at 26 weeks gestation she delivered their fourth child and currently baby and mom are still in the hospital.
Because the school year has ended the husband has to spend his time taking care of the other children and isn't able to stay at the hospital during the days like he was previously, so she is all alone. When she doesn't have infections she can see the baby, but with leukemia and her lowered immune system she is very prone to infections.
Miss Kim, william's former teacher, is in charge of coordinating meals, laundry services and is trying to figure out how to help the husband with the older kids so he can spend more time at the hospital with both his wife and his baby.
My heart breaks for those kids whose lives are being thrown into a tornado. I remember eating the generously donated meals every night. I remember spending time hopping from family to family so my mom could take care of all of the things on her plate. I remember wanting to be with my dad yet being so bored at the hospital. I remember it all, and all I've ever wanted is for no other child to have to endure that.
My heart breaks for the father. In a MUCH smaller degree I know what it is like to try to be a single parent but keeping in mind that you aren't a single parent. I know what it is like to have hundreds of decisions to make by yourself while also trying to give the other parent the ability to somewhat be involved in decision making. I know what it is like to try to figure out how to get the house cleaned, laundry done, food prepared, child entertained all alone, always worrying about your spouse, while maintaining your own sanity. I know, and I can sympathize with him although his situation is infinitely harder and more challenging.
My heart breaks for that mother. I DON'T know what it is like to be unable to take your child home from the hospital. I don't know what it's like to constantly wonder if you will even be at your son's first birthday. I don't know what it is like to have to be an on-looker in your children's lives; to sit alone in a hospital; to be unable to care for or provide for your family.
I want to be able to do so much for this family whom I haven't met, and I love the fact that there are so many other army families lining up to help out. My family was so blessed to be a part of the church family which we were, and they were so giving and so helpful. There were people lining up to help my family in ways that I still do not know to this day. There were people who sat with my dad during treatments, people drove him to appointments, people took care of my brothers and me...and those are just the parts that I am aware of. I want to be able to pay it forward. I want to know that I can somehow lighten the heavy, heavy load that this family is enduring...I just don't quite know how.
I am on the laundry duty list and am available anytime no one else signs up, but that doesn't seem like enough. I KNOW what these children are going through, and yet I still do not have a clue of how to help them. What can I do? What can I say? How can I bring any joy into their lives?
Please pray for this family. Please pray for that baby who is 4 pounds right now, fighting for his own life in this world. Please pray for his mother who is unable to bond in the way that new babies need, and that moms deserve. Pray for the father and for the other kids. And please pray that I am able to find a way to help them in the great way that so many people helped me.
And if you are one of those helpers- if you fed me, clothed me, entertained me or did things without my knowledge: thank you. Thank you a million times over, and any suggestions as to how I can pay it forward are greatly appreciated.
- manda
Jun 1, 2011
Maybe something I should have asked
Apparently not only am I not allowed to make mention of my new employer in my blog, but I am also not allowed to access my blog from my computer.
HOW RUDE.
So, I guess we will all be relying on my evening writing. Yikes, this could get scary.
Oh yeah, or my phone at work. Thank heaven for iPhones :)
More on William coming soon...
- manda
HOW RUDE.
So, I guess we will all be relying on my evening writing. Yikes, this could get scary.
Oh yeah, or my phone at work. Thank heaven for iPhones :)
More on William coming soon...
- manda
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)