Be strong and courageous

Last week I wrote about my uncertain opinion of where I planned to make my temporary church home. Then I wrote about how I'm at a very tough point in this deployment. And then God took the two and worked with them to remind me that He is with me wherever I go.

This morning in church the sermon was on Joshua 1:1-9 where God commanded that Joshua take over Moses' job as leader of the Israelites. I won't attempt to reiterate the sermon - I am not a preacher and do not have his theological background - but I'll summarize the passage and then tell you how God met me where I was. Joshua was scared. He was intimidated. He was entering into a job where his predecessor exceeded expectations and he felt very inferior. He was unsure of his ability to succeed in the job that God was commanding him to do. And yet God told him three times to be strong and courageous, and reminded him that He would be with him wherever he would go.

The pastor asked us to reflect on areas of our own lives where God has called us to be strong even though we don't quite know how. He also noted that in his own life it has been when he's been most discouraged, when he's been most weak, and when he's been most unsure that God has reminded him of His presence.

Then I had a moment of clarity. For years I have told myself and others that I support Austin in his call to serve our country, and that I do it because I love him. But I am always very clear that I wasn't called to this service. I didn't feel that calling in my heart to be the noble and courageous soldier. I am too selfish and stubborn and a lot of other things to do that kind of work. This wasn't my purpose or duty in life. I stand behind him in utter amazement of what he is willing to do and I support him HIS calling, but it was not mine.

But I realized today that I was called for this. I was created for this. I believe in God's plan for my life and I believe in his words that he knew his plan for my life before I was even created in the womb. He knew, and he created me for a specific purpose. Part of his plan for my life was to be Austin's wife, and He knew what that meant. He knew it would mean I'd spend time alone. He knew that meant I'd need strength and courage (and a plethora of people standing behind me). And as He does with all our needs, He has equipped me with what I need to fulfill this calling.

I was called to serve in support of my husband. And I was called to be strong and courageous as I do so. It won't always be easy and I won't always (rarely, actually) feel as though I have enough strength to see it through but then comes His greatest promise of all: He will be with me wherever I go.

And just when I needed a boost in my morale, I decided to clear off my dry erase calendar and get it set up for November. The best part of changing the monthly calendar is at the top where I write the number of days we have left. And do you know what? The countdown is almost down to 50. 50! All of a sudden, for the first time in 8 months, the task ahead of me seems surmountable. God is with me...He knows his plan, He knows my heart, and He gives me what I need in order to be strong and courageous.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

I get it!

Growing up with 2 older brothers you see a lot of mischief. One thing I observed time and time again was how the 2 of them handled getting caught. They could be fighting in the living room, get caught and yelled at by mom, and this would take place EVERY time:
Brian would apologize, smile, accept his punishment, and crack a joke which usually lessened the punishment
Brandon would fight, fight, fight with mom. It was Brian's fault, he started it, no way is a day of grounding a sufficient punishment, on and on and on.

Usually by the time Brandon had finished arguing (read:lost the battle) Brian had already weasled his way out of his punishment and had gone on his merry way. I've heard from Candace that this exact exchange occurred countless times with gene an Austin, gene always building more trouble and Austin always smiling his way out of it.

In all their years of boy-hood Brandon never learned, and neither did my mom. I'd get so mad watching Brian grin his way out of trouble every single time, often asking her why she allows it. Why do you ALWAYS crack a smile at WHATEVER Brian does? It just makes him do it more!!! And why doesn't he ever get in trouble?

I get it.

Last night I was giving William a bath and I was struggling with our battle of whether or not he is allowed to stand in the tub. He likes to stand up and line up shampoo/soap bottles on the ledges and then knock them all down, but I don't like him to stand because he could slip. It's a constant struggle.

At one point he was standing and I said 'William, sit on your bottom'. He wanted his toothbrush and Elmo toothpaste and kept asking, so I said 'I will give you your toothbrush when you sit down'. He looked at me, cocked his head sideways with a mischievous grin, and began to march in place. I was DETERMINED to keep a straight face and hold my ground. Then he marched faster. I again told him to sit down, so he added in some audibles: march, march, march...as he marched in place smiling and laughing. Eventually I felt my cheeks curling and couldn't hold it in - it was adorable! So I laughed, and what did he do? He sat down in pure victorious pride. Smiling and laughing and staring at me like 'oh mom, I've for your number'.

I'm doomed.


- manda

William's busy week

Grab a coffee and get comfy, we may be here awhile. What a fun filled week we had!!!

William has always loved our animals but the past few weeks he has developed a stronger bond with theme









He also got a special treat on Saturday when we went to the deployed family event at build a bear. The military has monthly events for the families of deployed soldiers that are paid for by the government. We haven't been to one before because usually they are either geared towards older kids, have a very limited space, or we already have plans. But I cleared the calendar when I saw build a bear! :)

William loved the process. I wasn't sure if he would get it, or if he'd care, but he embraced it!



He picked this one because it is green, which is one of two (well now THREE) colors he can confidently identify. Green and orange...hence his shirt choice



He loved the cotton machines and putting the heart inside the bear, but when it came to dressing 'green bear' he just threw the clothes to me. He had far more important things to do!(Like open all the cabinets)






And because I'm a sucker, he left he mall with a new bear AND new boots. What every toddler needs.



Sunday uncle oh gosh was at our house by the time we got home from church and he instantly yelled 'oh GOSSSSHHH' when he saw his truck in the driveway. But once inside his lips wouldn't utter the words. He acted like I was nuts anytime I suggested he say oh gosh!

With Brian around, it's monkey see monkey do. Brian yells 'come on!' and matt schaub and William yells 'come on!' at Matt schaub. Brian slaps his hand on the chair, William slaps his hand on the couch. Brian says 'how's your hot dog?' William takes a bite of hot dog. I should just make Brian move back in - William would certainly finish his meals!

Monday and Tuesday nights after school I was feeling especially crafty and I helped william make Christmas surprises for his grandparents. I'd post pictures but that'd spoil the fun :) but he had a blast! And he was much more cooperative than I thought he'd be.

Today is our first big snow, and I was a little apprehensive about getting William bundled up. The only other time I've tried to make him wear gloves he yelled at me the entire way to school! Today was slightly more successful- he did manage to get the gloves and boots and fleece socks off about a mile away from home, but he was willing to put them back on so that's good :)



he wasn't too fond of the hat, but when we stepped outside the snow distracted him. He thought it was so funny to stand under the porch cover and stick his arm out where the snow was falling to catch snow flakes.



He giggled and smiled and I wished we could stand on that porch all day.

When he was in the truck I kept trying to get a picture but he just laughed and swatted at his face saying 'eyes' every time the snow flakes touched him.



So far I think the snow is a hit, and I'm hoping to ditch work early to see what he thinks of rolling around in it!!!

He's doing very well in his new room at school and he loves miss Maria. He's a big helper and they say he loves to paint and throw trash away and build block towers. He's so well rounded :)

He is doing so well building 2 and sometimes 3 word phrases. He knows:
Dada ruck (when pointing to Austin's truck)
Orange star
I love mommy (or insert name of other person he knows)
Green bear
Call yaya (or papa or cici - those are the only people he has told me to call)
Daddy book - interestingly the only time he calls Austin daddy is when he wants to read the book Austin recorded. I assume it's because at the beginning austin says 'a gift for William read to you by daddy'
Weee airplane
Bye bye bus
Orange bus (yellow, orange - hard to distinguish)

I'm sure there are other phrases I'm forgetting. But he's doing so well! He has also asked me to put him on the potty every night before bath. He hasn't GONE potty yet but he sits there and then after awhile wants to wipe and flush. I have no idea what you do to potty train, so any tips or advice are welcome. I know he's young and we have awhile, but while he's showing interest I want to nurture it. At school he has wanted to sit on the potty once or twice a day, so maybe he'll learn sooner than I had thought. Fingers crossed! I'd sure feel like I won the lottery if I was done buying diapers anytime before next summer :)

I think that covers the high points of the week. It was another fun one!!! And one week closer to Christmas :)


- manda

2 months

In the past week I have had 8 people ask me how much longer we have until Austin gets home, and they have all responded in the same way. When I tell them it will be sometime around Christmas they all say, “oh wow only 2 months? Almost here!”

All I can do is laugh, because I don’t know how to express that 2 months is much longer than you may think. When you’ve already been waiting for 8 months, 2 months doesn’t seem short. When you THOUGHT you would only have about 35 more days, 60 sounds treacherous. Especially when 35 sounds pretty dang bad too!

People ask if I’m getting excited and I don’t know how to respond. I don’t want to mislead anyone – of course I will be excited beyond belief to see Austin at the airport – but no, I’m not getting excited yet. Because every time I think about it, I realize how far away it is. It doesn’t matter how many times I search online for the perfect welcome home outfit. It doesn’t matter how much I plan his welcome home surprises or how early I buy William’s airport t-shirt. It doesn’t matter how many Christmas presents I buy for our family (trying to CONVINCE the world that it is December…). It’s still October. We still have so much longer to go.

I usually try to maintain a positive spin on things and keep my spirits up. I try to be joyful and live by mantras such as “let people leave you happier than when they came” and “be joyful in all things” and other upbeat attitudes – I try. But the past few weeks have literally felt like time has been going backwards. I look at the calendar fully expecting our countdown to be nearing 30, yet every time I look it is higher than I remember it being the day before. How can we possibly be near 70 days when I SWEAR yesterday it was 50?

Back in June I was contacted by a fellow army wife who writes a military blog (SUCH a good writer and I don’t know how she comes up with all her topics) and she asked if I would be able to write a guest post. She was in the middle of moving and wasn’t going to have time to write much, but wanted to keep things up on her blog for her readers. (imagine – a blog with readers other than family/close friends…what a thought) At the time I was struggling with the mid-deployment blues so I used that as my muse for her guest post. This is what I wrote:

I knew this time was coming, I just didn’t know it would be so soon.

It’s the middle-of-deployment slump. I’ve been here before; it happens every time. It’s just more encouraging when it comes later on. It’s when you realize how long it’s been since you’ve seen your spouse, but you realize how long it is until you’ll see them again. It’s when you realize you are used to an empty bed, and you instantly hate that you’re used to it. It’s when you realize you have completely established your own routine, without a partner, and you know how much longer that routine has to last.

It’s when you ask yourself why you’re doing it at all.

Deployments are a lot like races: The beginning is when you are motivated, you are positive, and you are just ready to get going and kick this deployment in the butt. The end is when you are excited, rejuvenated, and you are determined to “finish strong”. But in the middle it just all wears on you. The burden seems so heavy. The end is nowhere in sight. The initial push of support has started to wear off, though you know if you just had the courage to reach out for help someone would be there in an instant. But wasn’t it easier when they were always there – without asking, without being told, and maybe without you wanting them anyway?

“stay busy”
“be positive”
“countdown”
“exercise”

I know all the “tips and tricks”. And they do help, they really do. But the middle needs something more. The middle needs a renewed sense of value for the purpose. I am doing this because my marriage is worth it. I am doing this because the man I’m waiting for is more incredible than any other man I could have, even if I’d have the other man all the time. I’m doing this because it’s so small in comparison to what he is sacrificing. I’m doing this because we are in it together – for better or for worse. And I wouldn’t know how great “better” is if I didn’t have a small taste of “worse” to compare it to.

So here’s to the middle. The nitty gritty. The part of the race when we find out who is in it to win it and who doesn’t have what it takes. I know I do, I just have to bite through the pain and do it.



I just wish that at the time, I knew the REAL trenches would come later. I just wish I knew that I really had no idea yet. Isn’t that how things go? You don’t ever know it can get worse or harder or more strenuous until all of a sudden you realize it has. And then, what can you do but hope that it turns around soon?

So – here’s to the “past the middle but not near enough to the end”. The “nittier and grittier”. The part of the race where no one looks like they have what it takes anymore, but dammit someone will make it to the finish line. Here’s to October…and November…and here’s to kissing them goodbye. December will be here; before I know it but not a minute too soon. It comes every year, and I’ll be waiting with open arms.


- manda

A home

William and I tried a new church yesterday. It was good and bad, as any church would be. Finding a church home has been a huge challenge and a source of frustration for years.

Austin and I were raised going to the same church and because we were both members there since before we can remember we always felt very at home. We knew everyone, knew our way around the building with our eyes closed, and it was very much ingrained as part of us. That is a wonderful blessing for a child and I am so thankful that both of our parents found such a church home for us. Plus that's how we met :)

The down side, though, has been that when we walk in a church and feel like visitors we don't know how to take it. I would love to think our church was welcoming and warm and inviting
To visitors but I really have no clue. But it's almost as if we walk into churches expecting to instantly feel like its our home, and that doesn't happen. The end result of that is that we've visited lots and haven't ever settled in.

There was one church that we went to for about a year, but in a years time we felt just as awkward as we did the first day we went. It was a Lutheran church which is about as close to the style of church we'd like as we would find here in Denver. It was casual like our church in Houston, it was roughly the same size, has a liturgical service...very similar. But the weekly sermons were hit or miss, music (which is a huge part of worship for me) was sub-par, and we never really met anyone. That is partially our fault, yes. We never went to events or small groups, and we didn't attend Sunday school. But I always felt like the members should have taken note that there was a young couple who sat 5 rows up every Sunday and eventually come by and introduced themselves.

We never made a conscious decision to quit going, but what happens when you aren't drawn to something is you forget you even wanted to do it in the first place.

Maybe William was sick one week and then the next we were tired and then before you know it we haven't gone in a month and then it's just hard to go back. I don't really know what happened. But I know we weren't drawn to be there and, to no one's fault but ours, we quit going.

I've tried 3 churches since Austin left, before yesterday. Each had pros and cons but none were intriguing. I also had the devil in my ear as I walked through the churches telling me that people must be judging me as if I were the town harlet and this poor child must be illegitimate. Why else would a woman come to church by herself with a one year old? And then people must be pitying my son for his unfortunate life.

Note: I would personally NEVER think these things if I saw a woman with a baby. Whether she was single or not. But the little devil on my shoulder had me paranoid enough to constantly flaunt my ring like a girl who got engaged just hours before.

In addition, sitting alone in a service is not an easy thing to do. In high school I went to church with friends. In college I went with my boyfriend and then after we broke up I knew people there. But walking into a room of hundreds of strangers by myself..,not easy.

The devil has an easy job here.

But I don't want to keep saying I don't attend a church because growing up my church was too good. What a lame excuse. And unless I go, I won't ever know anyone. And I want William to know that praying and reading our bible isn't enough, but that we go to church too.

So yesterday we tried a new one, and over all it went well. I have my complaints - they are trying hard to be hip and trendy which I don't like in a church, but I do see that they do it to reach people. The music was not what I'd imagine in my dream church, but better than any we've tried. The sermon was great, and William had a blast in nursery. And lots of people greeted me!

So, I am going to go to this church from now until Austin gets home. I'm going to give it - give ME - a fair shot. I am going to a woman's group craft make and take night next week. And when Austin is home he can come with us and as a family we can decide what exactly it is we are looking for.

Maybe this church won't be our church home, but it's a lot better than not going at all. So please pray that this church will reach my heart and that when Austin gets home we may feel settled here. Even if it's just for a year, please pray we have found a temporary home.

- manda

William Wednesday

William and I have had a fantastic week! I couldn’t have asked for it to be better. He was finally over his little bug on Friday, just in time for a fun weekend!

When we went over to our friends’ house Saturday night he commented that William was helping him to see the aspects of their house that will need to change before their son learns to crawl. Obviously that’s 6+ months down the road, but it’s never too soon to be planning William was pretty well behaved, and Kevin was especially impressed with his manners and how well he cleaned up after himself. I smiled quietly, accepting the compliment and knowing full well Goddard deserves the credit. But did I give it to them? Nah, I give them money instead. It’s a fair trade.

Sunday we watched “bootball” and got to see uncle “oh gosh” so naturally William was a happy bear all day. He says “oh gosh” on cue anytime I say “can you say Uncle Brian?” but when Brian was around he didn’t mutter the words once. What a performer! He just looked at me like I was nuts. After Brian left we talked to dada on Skype but William was FAR too busy to sit still for that. He ran in and out of the room laughing, squealing and goofing off. Occasionally he’d blow a kiss, wave, or say “hi dada” – he knew he was there and I think he wanted dada to see how busy he is. He’s got lots to do people!

Like hop in the tub with his clothes on. Oh, and turn the water on. I spent MUCH more time chasing him around on Sunday than I ever have and I fully understand how those moms in Shape magazine claim to lose weight by chasing toddlers. I used to wonder how they’d ever chase THAT much…but now I know. Sunday my head was spinning in circles he was so crazy. But it was adorable and enjoyable and I love his energy. I just wish I could bottle it up and save it for myself!

Monday and Tuesday William wanted to wear his army shirt to school. I think I’ve told him that it’s like dada’s enough times that he is now associating army with dada (or at least that shirt). Yesterday he whimpered, “army, dada, army, dada” – so naturally he broke my heart and could then have had anything he wanted. The fact that he settled for a t-shirt was the demise of his innocence. Good thing he doesn’t have manipulation down to an art yet, because he would definitely be taking all my lunch money!

Monday morning when I went to wake him up he was groggy and uninterested in opening his eyes and then, like a light bulb went off instantly, he sat up, pointed to his blankie and said with amazing clarity “monkey!” He has lots of blankies (I was given great advice to buy mass quantities of a baby’s favorite item so as not to ever be without it) and one of them has monkeys all over. It was as if he had been stewing on that word all night long and it FINALLY came to him. He hasn’t said it since, but now we know it’s there!

The most amazing part of his week (in a mother’s mind anyway) came on Sunday. He brought me a diaper, a box of wipes and a bottle of powder as he’s done countless times before. He said “poo poo” which he’s also done, but when I checked his diaper it was clean. Thinking he’d tricked me again I took the supplies and headed back to his room. I looked back, though, and saw that he was squatting…he had the recognition of his bowel movement BEFORE actually having it. If only his goofball mommy had realized it she could have whisked him into the bathroom. Oh well, he’s only 20 months old, we have PLENTY of time for more failed attempts at the potty.

He's fully transitioned into the next room at school. My itty bitty baby is a big ol' hippo. I can hardly believe it! But he's doing very well and has already won over the hearts of his two new teachers. He gives Miss Maria a kiss on the cheek before he leaves every day and she just adores him. But can you blame her?

I think that about sums up our week. Fun…busy…wild and crazy…it was a blast

A day in the life of a deployed soldier's wife

Hmm, with that title I think I'm onto something. If I ever decide to do a military-only blog maybe I'll make it my blog name :) I doubt that'll ever happen though!

I am writing this post as more of a question. I know I'm very structural and more schedule oriented than some, but I'm just curious how people manage life without being on such a rigid schedule? I don't necessarily WANT to be on this boot camp style regimen, but I don't see how life works otherwise.

So, I'll start with sharing my daily 'goal'. When people are in town visiting this gets thrown out the window for lots of reasons, otherwise this is my day:
5:30 wake up. Ok, that should be in italics or sketchy font or something because it is a benchmark I rarely meet. Austin an I made a deal yesterday that I can only have pumpkin spice lattes on Friday IF I don't press snooze all week. So far, it's a success. One day in and I told snooze where to shove it.

6:15 downstairs to feed pets, make breakfast, turn on rickety receiver which needs warm up time

6:30 wake William, take downstairs for breakfast, tv, diaper change, and getting dressed. That last part takes anywhere from 10 seconds to 20 minutes.
7:00 leave for Goddard - another benchmark rarely met
4:45 leave work to pick up little bear
6:00 home, eat dinner, play, watch wheel of fortune and see how much money I could be winning
7:00 bath and bed for my little man
7:30 dishes, clean kitchen

8:00-9:00 FREE TIME wahoo I have found an hour in the day for me to scrapbook, play on ipad, watch tv, look at pinterest, make boss'a day gifts etc. This is also where extra cleaning or laundry or organizing or bill paying or cat tail mending or card mailing goes, if not done on the weekend. So my 'free time' does not always equate to 'me time' but I'm trying.

9:00 make lunches, pack gym bag, pick out clothes for next day

9:30 get ready for bed, maybe shower to assist in morning time to actually make my hair look nice
10:00 lights out

If I don't get to sleep by 10:30 it is highly unlikely that I wake up at 5:30 which means my whole day is snowballed and I feel like i'm playing catch up all day.

Buuuuuut I find it impossible that everyone lives with a drill sergeant screaming in their ear as I do. How do you do it? How do you assume a laid back persona while still squeezing it all in? Please help me mask my type A personality as much as possible...

- manda

In case you wondered, I'm not in control

It's a hard thing for a controlling person to admit she isn't in control. But I'm so far removed from the control of the household that it's just comical that I even try.

Friday I went to lunch with some coworkers and when we passed a big yellow school bus I immediately announced 'bUUUUsss'. I clinched my fists as the word toppled out of my mouth, I knew I'd get a load of crap for that one. I tried explaining that William loves transportation and pointing various items out keeps him entertained in the truck. A coworker (one without kids, I might add) said 'he sure has you trained'. Ah, that he does. I now announce buses without even thinking of it.

Saturday I had planned to make chicken enchiladas, rice and tres leches cake for a friend and his wife who had a baby a month ago. So that morning I got my ingredients and had everything mapped out to cook/bake during naptime, assemble enchiladas at home then pop them in the oven at their house. Great plan, and was working beautifully until I went to snip my cilantro and realized it was parsley. Parsley?! Ugh. So, I got as far as I could then once William woke up we ran back to the store to get cilantro. I was crunched on time and it was going to be close, but I thought I could fit it all in perfectly.

Until we got home and Layla had eaten my entire package of tortillas. Damn dog!!! So, I packed up all the pieces of dinner - bag of chicken, bag of cheese, blender full of tomatillo salsa, cake, pan to bake enchiladas, tub of rice...Kevin must have thought I was moving in when he saw the truck load of crap I hauled in his house. Oh and don't forget william's car suitcase he packed by himself. Kevin's wife stopped me from going to the store on my way, luckily, because she had tortillas. So, the day wasn't ruined by any means but Layla sure had better plans for me than my own.

Then this morning William wanted to wear his paw print overalls. He wanted to wear them to bed last night so I'm kind of surprised he still wanted them this morning, but it worked for me. It was 40 degrees when we left so I put a thermal shirt under his overalls. Disaster had struck. He did not want that. He wanted his army shirt on OVER his overalls, and he was determined to make that happen.

So you'll imagine the looks we got when he showed up at school with an oversized army pt shirt with orange thermal sleeves sticking out and paw print patterned overalls (of which you could only see the legs).

No, I am not in control. I just drive the bUUUsss to the looney bin.


- manda

What will William be?

Prelude:
Have you ever read a book and wondered why the author wrote a prelude? Or why they exist in the first place? It isn’t really PART of the story, and when writing fiction why write something that isn’t part of the story? It’s not like it helps explain the story better…the entire story is fake! But, I realized today that to better understand the main “body” of this post it requires a prelude, so for any authors who have created characters in their heads maybe there is more to their personalities and lives than the book will unfold. And sometimes as a reader I feel like the prelude did nothing but take more reading time, and I have felt like I could have lived not having read it. But, as a writer (amateur as I may be) I just enjoy to put words on the paper and preludes are just one more way. SO, enter the prelude…

Do you have a least favorite holiday? It’s a funny thing to think about – a negative side to a holiday – but I do. It’s New Years Eve. I think there are multiple reasons for this, and I’ll try to explain. First, this was my parents’ anniversary and while I never consciously THINK of it as a day that we should be celebrating their would-have-been anniversary (this year would be 34 years I think!!!) I do think my mind is subconsciously focused on that. Second, I think it is the most highly anticipated and over rated night of the year. There are so many expectations on how to ring in the New Year, send the old year off with a bang, and for me…the expectations are never met. There’s planning and anticipation and wardrobe selections and funny hats and noise makers…and in the end, it’s always a letdown. Either the night wasn’t fun, something went wrong, I got tired of rubbing shoulders with strangers, or I sit in the couch at home at 10:30 trying my hardest to keep my eyes open another 90 minutes. It just seems to never live up to my dreams. Third, I find it a little odd that we celebrate the milestone in the way we do anyway. It may be odd for me to think this, seeing as I think birthdays and anniversaries are huge reasons to celebrate, but I just think we should greet each day with a positive outlook and a fresh perspective. Doesn’t always happen, yeah I know (ahem, me today!) but it should be attempted. Why do people think in October “oh, my new year’s resolution this year will be to quit smoking”? Why not quit now? What about a “new year” makes you think you should wait until then to do what you could or should do now? Why don’t we have new day resolutions? Or new day parties? Or new week parties? If Philip Wells were reading this, he’d be laughing out loud thinking “some things never change” because we had this debate countless times in high school. But I’m sorry, it’s true.

So, my least favorite holiday is new years. There, I said it. I’m a Grinch.

Halloween, to some people’s surprise, is not my least favorite. I just don’t have feelings about it one way or the other. If we never had Halloween again I wouldn’t shed a tear, and I may not even notice. But I don’t dislike it or have any personal or religious feelings against it. Growing up our family did not celebrate it which I think feeds my apathy, and I never felt deprived as a result. Our parents gave us bags of candy and really, that’s all that matters at the end of the day anyway. There just truly are no feelings inside of me for Halloween.

Body of Blog:
Long before William was a twinkle in my eye (let’s face it, he was always a twinkle in his dada’s eye) Austin and I discussed that I’d be great at homework and crafts and valentine’s cards and other important aspects of childhood but Austin would need to pick up the slack on Halloween. It just wouldn’t ever reach my radar. I’d help him get dressed up if he wanted, I’d talk up the excitement, and I’d be an excellent assistant, but I wouldn’t take the reins on this one. Look at me, letting go of control. Applause warranted.

Moving on.

Our agreement was he would do trick or treating, I would stay home and pass out candy and take pictures as they left. Deal.

Our agreement did not have an amendment for deployment, and clearly it should have. I’ve been mentally stressed over Halloween for months, only because I’m stressed that the day will come and I will have done nothing but think about it. So far, it rings true. I think he’s too young to trick or treat…we’d be fighting over walking on the sidewalk, we only know a few neighbors so it’d be short lived anyway, and he doesn’t need a bag of candy. Nor do I for that matter. His school is having a “fall festival” on the Friday before from 3-6 with a “trunk or treat” in the parking lot, some games and such inside, and a little parade around the fire station. I will not be offering up my truck for the trunk or treat…I’m not nearly crafty enough to decorate the truck for the kids’ enjoyment, but maybe I’ll go to the parade and walk him around to all the different trunks. Whew, there…we’ll celebrate Halloween.

In addition, a coworker is having a party at her house that Saturday for all the kids in our department (8 under age 4!) and she’s having a balloon artist, face painter, jump castle, and crafts. Wow, she’s ambitious. So we’ll do that too.

I feel awfully proud that I’ve piggy backed on other people’s plans so well here and that Halloween won’t go unnoticed.

Uurrrrch (that’s the sound of brakes squealing on a big truck)

He has no costume. I have no ambition to make one, I have no desire to shop for one, I don’t know what he should be…apathy rears its head again. I just don’t really care! He loves elmo, but elmo seems so overdone and he might have an elmo birthday and our house is overrun with elmo and…well…we don’t need an elmo filled life do we? He could be…ok, elmo is all I’ve got. That’s as far as my brain has thought.

And here enters my anti-deployment stubbornness. This is austin’s job. Period. He does Halloween. Granted we’ve only had one so far, and granted we bought the costume together and that was the extent of Halloween…but he does it. Not me. I don’t do costumes. I don’t do trick or treating. I don’t do it. I don’t.

Anyone want to pick out his costume? Now accepting applications. But be prepared for potential veto’s from the Wallis house manager, I hear she’s kind of picky.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

It's still wednesday

Man work has been busy this week! Hardly a minute to even blog - how rude! I must say, the army asks a lot of the families and tax accounting does too (on a less national-security-importance level) so William is one special boy to put up with both. I think he's had about enough of it today, so lucky for him things should calm down Now at my work.

Last Thursday MissJan and Maize flew up here to visit. William had 3 ladies at his beck and call all weekend, and he was an angel. I kept expecting an outburst or a tantrum at any given moment, but he went right along with our shopping excursions. He sat patiently at restaurants, he sat in his stroller through the mall (occasionally telling us when he was tired of a store) and he spent some time in his third most frequented location. Target, of course :) he adored Maizeanne and there were more than a few moments where he leaped out of my arms to be in hers.

Sunday morning she had to go home and MissJan stayed for a few days longer. She was william's personal attendant for a few days and he has grown very fond of her! This morning he held on tight and didn't want her to leave him at school! Yesterday he was sick, poor bear, so he and jan had plenty of special bonding time and I already know he'll be searching the house for her tomorrow.

Jan has a picture on her computer desktop and her iPhone of maize, herself, my mom, Dana, and myself in my mom's pool. William clearly knows the difference in iPhones. He knows my phone has certain games and a movie, he knows his (my old phone turned into baby iPod...don't judge...) has 'bert' which is an obnoxious counting game with Bert from sesame street, and he knows jan's phone has the wawee. He would grab her phone and say wawee, then they'd sit together and point at the people and name everyone. He also learned that 'bober' (robert) is on her phone as well :)

In the past he has called bananas 'nana' like most kids and some adults...but Monday night he looked at our bunch of bananas and with great pride beaming from his face he said 'BaNana'. He had such definition and distinction in his voice and as he started saying the word the knew he was about to do something great.

He loved showing jan and maize our moMEEEE, wilYUM, daDAAA (etc) game. He starts with momMEEE usually and I then call out his name. Then we go through names of people we know, or just favorite words like Elmo, wawee, etc. Other than when we call each other's names we usually repeat each other so if I say 'yaYAAA' he will repeat me. Except he is very particular and if I suggest a name he doesn't want to say, he simply says no and moves on. Then the real fun one - if I say briANNNN. Sometimes he has no response, but he has all of us cracking up when he responds 'oh GOSSHHHH' :) he has an uncle oh gosh...how special. And kind of suiting, if you know Brian :)

Brian and his girlfriend came up for dinner Monday night. Brian had been in Texas for 2 weeks so, other than the short stint for uncle frank's funeral, he and William had over 3 full weeks of separation. I was unfortunately at work when they reunited, but I can only imagine the excitement William felt when he saw uncle Brian...even though he was pretty sick at the time. I can't describe how much he adores him.

He has started his transition into the next classroom at school, so naturally I have been a bit panicky and unsettled. I know I was the same way when he moved to zebras, and I know I eventually settled in...but that doesn't make it any easier. I don't know the teachers, they aren't good at returning the sippy cups, and darn it...he's still a BABY! He's got no business in there with all those big kids!

I'm sure he'll transition fine and he'll have the teachers wrapped around his fingers in no time...like all the other females he's wooed so far. He has a sweet charm...and I've got a handful in my future. But he has his dads ability to make me nearly forget I'm mad just by flashing his sweet smile...and unfortunately, I think he already knows it!


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Life's calling

On pinterest a few days ago, while browsing around and wasting time, I saw a poster that said: I'm not bossy, I just know what you should be doing.

I think it was written for me.

In kindergarten my teacher told my mom that I was 'very good at making sure the other kids are doing what they're supposed to be doing'. That's kindergarten PC language for 'your daughter is incredibly bossy'. And 22 years later I've only perfected my true God given talent.

Recently I was asked within 24 hours to organize a friend's kitchen, another friend's closet, and another friend's entire house. I also swindled my way into organizing my niece's closet! And I had a drip bucket below my desk as the drool was ever flowing.

I've also been asked a time to two to help friend's with budgets and financial planning. With an equal amount of drool finding it's way to my chin no doubt.

I have even been asked for advice on how to raise kids! Ok, no, I haven't. And while I most certainly know how to do it best, I think it's best to let parents hack that one out :) I'll try not to overstep my boundaries here.

But this is what I was made for: to tell people how to do things. I wouldn't give advice on gardening or...oh gosh there must be more than one area where I lag behind...but you get the point. I need a job where I can just travel around and organize people's lives for them. Closets, kitchens, budgets, schedules...that's where I thrive.

Anyone wanna pay me? I feel I could better serve society in that manner rather than making the most organized and neat quarterly provision binders here at work. Although, my binders do rock! I just feel like I've missed my calling.

People get paid for this stuff right? Right? Don't squash my dreams here.


- manda

William William William

I bet you thought my William Wednesday segment was over, seeing as I missed 2 weeks. But fear no more, I am here. Just a little late :)

Last week I didn't write because I was busy trying to get my head on straight in houston. This week I didn't write because...well we have had some challenging days.

William has opinions. He has his own thoughts. He has his own ideas of how things should go. For instance, he should be able to get into the bath tub in his socks. And he should be able to eat one bite of pork and a plate full of snacks for dinner. And he should be able to go outside every time Layla does. And so on.

The problem is William's mommy has quite a few opinions of her own and has been called hard headed a day or two in her life.

So we've had a lot of battles of the wills lately, the worst coming on tuesday night. It was catastrophe after catastrophe. One rough evening and I'm not sure which of us was more exhausted by 7:30 when he fell asleep.

I was at the end of my rope that night, clueless as to how to tackle this stage. On the one hand, I realize that as he develops and grows he is trying to assert his independence and his personality and I need to encourage that. On the other hand, I'm the parent here and we all know the purpose of becoming a parent is to FINALLY be the one to say 'because I said so'

But there's got to be a balance here!

Yesterday morning I picked out a shirt for him, then decided to give him 2 choices. He chose the one I had originally picked, but the difference was his pride. He was beaming and practically ripping his pj's off to get his 'money' (monkey) shirt on. Same went for socks and shoes.

Last night I gave him 2 dinner choices - both I had prepared on Sunday for this week, both were good choices. And he was ecstatic to build his own plate.

I don't know if this is the answer or just a temporary solution but we sure had a better day. And I'll do just about anything for a good day with little bear!

I think the biggest advancement in his vocabulary since I last wrote is his fascination with transportation.
Airplane (air-pee)
Bus (busssss)
18 wheeler (beep beep)
Truck (rrrrruck)
Car
Bike
Tractor (rac-or)

I haven't decided what we will do for his birthday - big party, little party, Denver party, Houston party, no party...up in the air. But whatever we so I believe transportation equipment better be incorporated!

We still love Elmo and have learned to love some of his friends:
Ernie
Oscar(his favorite to say and he nails the C)
Abbey
Big bird
Bert on some days
And the latest: Grover

His language is still primarily one that only mommy understands but in my 100% accurate opinion, he speaks wonderfully! I'm so impressed.

He is very aware that we can talk to dada on the iPad and last night, without my knowledge, he went upstairs, got my iPad and brought it back to me. He kept asking for dada but I couldn't deliver on that, so I opened one of his fisher price games which seemed to suffice. Sunday we had a nice talk with dada and he was so excited to see his face.

So I apologize that this post is long overdue, but I had to evaluate the situation of having a house full of independent minds (Reagan not to be excluded) keep us in your thoughts - I see years of head butting in our future :) but when have I ever backed down from an argument???












- manda

Are you Pinterest-ed?

Pinterest. Heard of it? I barely have, and I need help!

If you haven't heard of it, go to pinterest.com and look around. I'm a newbie so I don't 100% get it, but it's a social networking site where people 'pin' photos, quotes, or other miscellaneous things that interest them. There are different categories - crafts, home decor, recipes, kids, clothing, etc. You can follow people who's pins you like, just browse, you can re-pin things that you saw from other people...

Basically, it may replace Facebook as my morning time waster. For awhile at least!

It's a little more dangerous though because I want to run out and make everything I see!

Anyway, since I'm new and a little lost I'd appreciate any advice/guidance/help that you may have. Or do you have favorite people you follow? Or do you want to? Come on, let's waste our mornings together :) at least then I won't feel so guilty!!!


- manda

Peanut butter yogurt?!

I'm not a recipe blogger. I enjoy reading other people's recipes sometimes but it's just not my thing. Can't be wordy in recipes :) but someone gave me this one last week and when I tried it this weekend I was in love with it...so I thought I better pass it along. It's a great snack - tasty, healthy, and VERY filling, or it'd be a good appetizer at a party. If you are as obsessed with peanut butter as I am, you're gonna love it!

1 c nonfat yogurt (recipe says plain but I used vanilla)
1 T peanut butter
1 scoop vanilla whey protein

Mix together until there are no lumps.

I split it into 2 servings, had one yesterday with a sliced apple and have the rest in my lunch bag for today. It was so filling, I had trouble finishing it yesterday - and it is under 300 calories! Can't beat that.

Hope you like it :)


- manda

Oxygen masks

Thursday on our flight back to Denver the flight attendant did her routine stop, after her safety demo, to kindly remind me that in the event that our oxygen masks drop I need to put mine on first before assisting William. 'yeah, I know' I thought to myself. We have flown more times than I can remember and every time the flight attendants have reiterated the rule. As she went on to tell the next mother I heard that mother ask why. Not in a rude way just questioning. The flight attendant said, 'well if you yourself are not well how can you help your daughter?'

I knew the reason but somehow the way she spelled it out made it much more symbolic Than just oxygen masks.

Because I work and William is in day care all day I struggle with hiring babysitters, especially with Austin gone. If I have a friend or sitter come to the house while he is sleeping that's one thing, but having sitters while he's awake has been reserved for weddings or birthdays or other non-avoidable situations. But after a hectic(to put it lightly) 48 hours in Texas I realized that I may need to 'put on my oxygen mask' before assisting William. As much guilt as I usually carry about babysitters, I realized that I may need some time that isn't for work and isn't for him to unwind and regroup, otherwise my time with him may not be the best it could be.

I came to this realization with a lot of encouragement from my sweet husband, though. I can't take all (much at all) credit for that. But when your husband asks you multiple times if you've made arrangements for a sitter, sends you beautiful flowers



and lists all the things you could do with your time - you'd just be a bad wife not to listen.

So I had miss Kim watch William from about 3 until 10:30 last night. What did I do? A lot of randomness that served little purpose but felt great. I started with a trip to Mecca (target, naturally), then joann's, then watched some football, then painted my nails, did some shopping without buying, then had a couple beers with a friend.

It's amazing how doing nothing can do so much. I woke up today excited to get grocery shopping done, go to the park, and take care of my normal weekend duties. I have plenty of oxygen, and I refilled at just the right time.

Thanks for the encouragement Austin. Much appreciated.


- manda