I read a blog this morning written for NY Times (so, clearly a good writer and well thought out blog) about the busy world in which we live. The writer talked about how it has almost become a social status to be busy. The busy-er you are, the higher up the social ladder you have climbed. While I don't feel like I've climbed a ladder (I do know people who take great pride in their inability to squeeze anything else in) I am ashamed to admit I am in this group - and have been for awhile. I have been so busy and that worst part is - I don't even know what I'm busy doing! I can't ever figure out why I seem to have no time when everyone else seems to have time. Why do I have no time for happy hours and scrapbooking and reading books (that are not on a toddler level)?
We had a great weekend this past weekend and part of the reason it was so great was that we had no plans. Nothing to do. Other than the grocery store we had no to-do list to check off, no social obligations, nowhere to be and no one to see. For a minute I was thankful we have no friends here.
As I say that, I miss my CO and TX friends so much it hurts, and I'd give a lot (not quite an arm or leg) to see them right now. But it was nice for one weekend to not have the option. We couldn't see them by choice or by obligation and as a result we had a relaxed, carefree weekend. We spent 15 minutes running up and down our hallway, collapsing on William's bed and making a tower of people - dada on bottom, William in middle, mommy on top. We yelled as we ran, making our voices bounce with our steps, and as we fell William squealed with happiness and excitement. It was a great time. We weren't rushing out the door to make it to the next event on our calendar, we were just enjoying whatever the moment brought.
I'm not saying I don't want to have friends here or that I don't want to make plans. I want to go to weddings, travel to see people, work on our house to-do's to make it homey. I want to be invited to 4th of July parties and play dates and baby showers and happy hours.
I just want to find a balance. I want to be able to do a good job at work without feeling enslaved by my job. I want to be able to be proud of our home without spending all my at-home time cleaning and working on it. I want to be able to take the time to run down the hallway yelling for absolutely no reason.
I guess this is what they mean when they talk about the pursuit of happiness. An undefined moving target. But I've got my eye on the hazy prize.
- manda
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