Soapbox

Ok. I have a few things that just really have been irking me lately, then my mom mentioned something she heard on the radio this morning that sent me over the edge. So I'm going to throw all of these annoyances in your face today, because you really care to hear it.

First of all, and I'll keep this one short, why is my generation so lazy and demanding? I'm embarrassed to claim it as "mine" sometimes! Why do we think that our parents owe us anything? Or our teachers? Or politicians? What happened to getting what you earned? Or hard work? If parents can afford to send their children to college that is wonderful. It is a valuable investment and one that will spur their kids' futures like nothing else can. But where did the idea come from that the parents OWE it to their kids? It is, after all, the child's future. It will be THEIR degree, THEIR career, and THEIR life. So why can't they step up and take responsibility of it? Same can be said for our teachers, our government, our employers, etc. Get off your butts and work for what you want. You'll probably appreciate it more anyway.

Second of all, people who constantly talk about how ridiculous it is that our country cares so much about meaningless things yet they perpetuate it themselves. Case in point: my morning radio show DJ's with Lindsey Lohan. First, I'd like to point out that I do not like the morning radio show that I listen to, but I don't like any of them in Denver so I'm stuck. I used to have a morning show that I LOVED. Then the 2 DJ's got fired out of nowhere because the station had the opportunity to have a "really good" DJ from their sister station come manage the entire station. His only condition was that he be on the morning show. So - enter Jonathan Wilde mornings. After a month or so I think they realized he needed a counterpart, so bring on Mudflap. Mudflap is a professional comedian, and the only hope for entertainment on the show...but even he is lacking most mornings. Cheese, cheese, cheese. But - that's not my point here. So they have a girl on the show with them who does the blogging, facebooking, tweeting, and does "brooke's buzz" with all of the hollywood gossip. So, one of the hottest topics lately has been Lindsey Lohan. Two days ago Brooke was talking about how Lindsay has hair stylists and make up artists scheduled to come get her primped before she exits the building when she gets released from jail. Mudflap commented, "How does she even have any money to pay them?" Brooke said, "I KNOW! She hasn't done anything in YEARS! but she has sold her first post-jail interview for $1million already" Then mudflap went on "WHAT? a million dollars? what is this country coming to that we care so much about her jail experience that it is worth $1million?" I DON'T KNOW MUDFLAP, TAKE A LOOK AT YOUR RADIO SHOW. Brooke goes on and on every morning about (in my opinion) useless hollywood gossip. Mudflap is always intrigued, and so are most listeners. If you think its ridiculous that things like that elicit paychecks like that, then do your part in the entertainment industry and don't highlight it. Don't talk about Lindsey Lohan. Don't mention her name. Don't buy the magazine. Don't post her picture on your site. Encourage other entertainment industry employees to do the same and squash the bad side of Hollywood - then maybe she wouldn't be making a killing for breaking her probation.

And while we're on the topic of radio DJ's, this is what my mom's radio station discussed this morning: the cult of apple users. Really? Ok, I will be the first to say that I am obsessed with apple products. I love them. I think they're cool. I think you know this already. However, I also love purses. And shoes. And scrapbooking. And baking cookies (like the chocolate chip oatmeal cookies I baked last night) I don't know that I love any one of these things more than the other - and I am not a member of a cult for any of them! For some reason people love to hate Apple like people love to hate the Dallas Cowboys. Why?

So Steve Jobs is a genius. So he makes products that appeal to consumers so much that they are willing to pay twice as much as they pay for microsoft products. Does that make him the next David Koresh? I don't think so. No more than my mom's radio DJ's are themselves. People are addicted to their morning shows like they're addicted to their morning coffee. Look at me, I listen to the same show every day and I don't even LIKE them. Why are iPhone users so obsessed with their phones? Same reason Droid users are obsessed with theirs. They ROCK. Why aren't other phone users as obsessed and dependent? Because their phones just aren't as all encompassing.

Before I had my iPhone I had a smart phone that microsoft had designed to try and compete with the blackberry. And let me tell you - it was awful. It was supposed to have 3G internet, yet I couldn't ever be on the internet longer than a couple minutes before it froze. Texting was awful, reception was awful, customization was minimal - the phone was a dud. Before that I had a "normal" phone...the kind that just made phone calls you know? Remember those? And it served its purpose wonderfully. But when your phone is designed to be your grocery list, calculator, weight tracker, weather alert system, scrabble board, email portal, among many, many other things - and it does so beautifully - its hard NOT to become dependent.

So maybe it isn't an apple cult that I am supposedly a member of so much as it is a cell phone cult. Nothing good comes without a price, and the revolution of cell phones in our nation has made us dependent on technology, expected to be available 24/7, and disconnected from face-to-face relationships. That's the price we are paying for the coolness. Maybe my mom's radio station should focus on THAT cult instead? But they won't. Why? because as much as people love to hate apple, they also love to TALK about apple. As Jerry Jones (the owner of the Dallas Cowboys) says, no publicity is bad publicity. So all you Steve Jobs haters out there: your despise for him and his rule over the entire universe is only furthering his control. Job Well Done.

I think that fulfills my ranting for the day. And I feel much better, thank you. Hope you have a fantastic weekend and don't hate me too much for my opinions :)

A Year Later

Last year I told you about my plans to participate in Denver's Light the Night walk. I'll keep this brief as I have already posted today and I REALLY need to get to work.

If you've read my post from last year you know all about the walk and its cause. My company sponsored a team last year, and when I inquired if they would be sponsoring a team this year I was told they didn't have a team captain. Well, I didn't want that to be the only reason the company didn't have one! So, I have volunteered to be the team captain for Western Union this year. Our team name is WU Wired for Fun, which is the organization here that puts on most of our events and social activities.

As I did last year, I will be walking in memory of my dad. Weather and army permitting (and William's temperament of course) Layla, Austin and William will all join me this year. It is really a fun time, and makes me feel like I can do something to possibly help alleviate someone else going through what my family did. Because I received an overwhelming amount of support last year, I have set my goal this year at $500. Last year I started with $300, increased it to $400, and received over $600! I was taken aback and extremely touched.

If you are interested, my personal webpage for the walk is here. Check it out if you want - or you may have already received an email (in every email inbox you have) hitting you up for support. Your support, whether it is financial or personal, means the world to me and I am so grateful. Maybe I'll try to post updates to my personal page this year - I didn't realize it works like a blog and you can keep posting. And as always, I'll be sure to keep you posted on here after Sept 30!

iNeed

Two months shy of two years ago I was out to lunch for work and I mistakenly left my cell phone on the table of chili's. I always had my phone out no matter where I was because I wanted to be able to see if Austin got online. I know that it was absolutely a mistake because I relied on that phone as my only way to communicate with him while he was in Iraq. I went back in Chili's about 2 minutes after we walked out of the door to see if they had found it, but the table had already been cleared and the busboy "never saw it". I find that very hard to believe because it was sitting right next to the ketchup bottle, which had been moved, and it was a sizable phone. I had been at lunch with coworkers so it took every ounce of energy I had to pretend I wasn't 2 seconds from falling apart as we went back to work and worked the rest of the afternoon. After work I stopped at the at&t store to get a new phone. I looked at all of the different smart phones and thought I'd give the iPhone a try. The newer model, the 3G, had just come out and was supposed to squash all of the complaints from the previous model - but I hadn't heard any reviews yet so I wasn't sure if it would be all that Apple cracked it up to be.

And it was. Phenomenal! I never knew I could feel that way about a PHONE. Or any piece of technology for that matter. It was cutting edge, it was fast, it was sleek - it was my new best friend.

Austin still jokes that I purposely forgot my Motorola "smart" (stupid) phone at Chili's because it sucked and I just wanted an excuse to get a new one. I promise that's not the case, but now I'm racking my brain for a way to turn my new fascination with the iPhone 4 into a need. I can't just leave my current phone on a table somewhere, that would be too obvious.

Last night we went to the apple store (as you learned last month, this is always a mistake) to see if they could help troubleshoot a problem Austin's phone was having. This time rather than 4 tables of iPads they had 2 of iPads and 2 of the new iPhone. I know that the new iPhone comes with its criticisms - well, really just one. The antenna apparently has an issue and can be blocked by your fingers if you hold it a certain way, which can then cause dropped calls. For now, the resolution is to put your phone in a case. Because I don't ever have my phone without a case it seems that the problem wouldn't be an issue for me, but its still hard to spend $200 on a product that you know has its shortcomings. Apple has set a date of September 30 when they will no longer offer free cases, so my hope is that they are working on resolving the problem in the actual product and just don't want to make this announcement because they don't want sales to slow down in anticipation of the fix. That issue ignored, I CAN NOT BELIEVE the incredible changes from 2 years ago to now! My phone seems like it could have come from the stone age compared to this one.

I don't know what the iPad can do that the new phone can't, other than it has a larger screen for viewing movies, playing games, reading books, etc. So maybe this negates my "need" for an iPad? Doubtful. But Maybe!

As I said with the iPad, I can't seem to justify a reason why I need either one. But if my phone were all of a sudden gone, I would wouldn't I? So now I just need to come up with a scheme to make that happen. Or just bat my eyelashes in Austin's directions a few times...

What Day is Today?

Did anyone else LOVE Full House 15 years ago? Who am I kidding, does anyone else love Full House now?!

There was an episode towards the end of the series when Uncle Jesse was trying to teach Nicki and Alex a song to sing to Aunt Becky for mother's day. The song went:
What day is today? Today is mother's day. What day is today? Today is mother's day.

I'm not sure what, if anything, that has to do with William, my blog, or anything for that matter. But anytime I think or hear the phrase "what day is today?" I instantly hear the little boys singing in my head. And at about 1:15 this afternoon I thought to myself, "What day is today?". After singing the jingle through twice, I realized it is Wednesday and I, therefore, can't skip out on blogging because Wednesday = William Wednesday = the most important blog posting of the week.

I won't start by telling you that William had a busy week. Or that William is getting so big. Or that I'm amazed by how smart he is. I won't tell you how incredible it is to watch a baby learn and grow. Or how I beam with pride just because he recognizes my face. I won't go into detail about any of that, because I'm sure you're sick of hearing it all. *Although I did still manage to sneak it in here now didn't I?* I'll just cut to the chase of our week. In an attempt to keep this short so I can get back to work, I'm going to use a bulleted format. Maybe that will force me to be less wordy, because Mrs. Hartman (Mrs Harshman) taught us in 11th grade that bulleted points are to be kept short and boring. (She didn't think anything was sweet.)

~at the landing on our staircase we have a mirror hanging on the wall. Since William was about 2 weeks old I've paused at this mirror before turning to finish going up/down the stairs. I smile really big and say "AHH! Is that my baby?!?! Is that my precious William?!?!" or some other exasperated phrase about how thrilled I am to see him. This past week he has started seeking out the mirror. Once we take the first step onto the staircase his eyes are glued to the mirror, waiting for us to pause and smile at each other. Austin does this too, so I think if anyone ever comes to our house we'll have to let them know they MUST do this or he may lunge towards the mirror himself.

~William LOVES his new found skill of sitting up that I told you about last week. He can turn his body around in circles, reach forward for toys and pull himself back up, and can lean on his arms instead of fall to the side (sometimes)

~He's been very good at scooting his body around, usually in a complete circle, for awhile but just yesterday he scooted his body backwards. frontwards must be coming soon!

~MissKim is back at school after being gone since June 25 due to knee surgery. William didn't seem to recognize her at first, but then when he heard her voice he got SO excited he was nearly jumping out of my arms.

~Speaking of jumping, we had to move his jumparoo up to the second notch so his feet hardly touch ground because he was getting SO active in that thing I was afraid he'd knock himself over. He absolutely loves it. He especially loves if we watch him and cheer him on, which is fine by me because he amazes me and I'm glued to him.

~His ribs are getting very ticklish. last night he was laying in his diaper and I was nibbling on his ribs - he could hardly breathe he was laughing so hard. I had to give him breaks to catch his breath!

~Miss Jennifer told me that William really started to roll around to get what he wants this week. They have a foam pit and he was playing in it for 30 minutes yesterday - rolling around and shoving toys all over the place. She said she went to change a diaper, then when she went back he had leaned his head on a pillow and was sacked out.

~With his new found ability to move, he is getting creative with how he arranges himself in his sleep. One morning he was flipped on his stomach, and his head was on the opposite end of the crib. Another morning he had scooted himself sideways and was all the way at the end of his crib. Today he had grabbed his aggie pillow that missjan and maize bought for him and had one arm wrapped around it!

I'm glad I opted to use the bulleted format for this because going into this post I really had no idea all of the little things that he'd done this week for the first time. And in all honesty, I thought it had been one of his less busy weeks. Funny how that works out huh? Guess even without major milestones he's still learning at light speed. Have I mentioned that its a blast?

Pray for your Husband Daily

When I first read the topic for week 3 of the marriage challenge, I thought to myself, "what kind of challenge is that? that's ridiculous,". Not because the concept of praying for your husband is ridiculous, but because I just assumed that it is something we all do automatically.

Until I realized that I don't.

Sure when he's sick I'll pray for him, or when he's having a really rough day, or if he has something major going on in his work life, family, or just in his brain. But do I remember daily to pray for him, for his well being, to be thankful to God for having him in my life? Every day? Sadly, I have to admit that I do not. There are occasions when the idea will pop in my head and I'll stop, take a second, and pray for whatever it is...but to make it a part of my every day routine is something that I've had to try to train myself to do this week.

In preparation for that, I thought about all the areas of his life. I would add "that need prayer" to the end of that sentence, but then I realized that there isn't an area in any of our lives which doesn't need prayer. So I made a list of things to pray for:
~his job
~his fatherhood
~his temptations
~his role as a husband
~his faith
~guidance for his life

As you can see, my list consists of 6 things and a week consists of 7 days. So then I got brilliant, as a true numbers-nerd would. I decided I would pray on each of these items, one per day, and on the seventh day I would pray on an item that he specifically asks me to. Day 7 for me is on Thursday, so tonight I plan to ask him what he has going on that he needs extra prayer for. I was amazed a few years ago when he told me that he prays multiple times a day...I guess I just didn't expect it. So given this, I assume he has an idea of what he needs most. If he selects one of the items above, that's ok - can't ever have too much prayer can we?

Then as this week's challenge ends and I move on to the next one, I'll make it a point to try and remember every day to pray for the topic of that day along with just his general well being. I didn't realize that it would require such a conscious effort on my part, but I'm glad that it does. It makes me conscious of his needs every day and aware of my ability to support him even when I have no idea how.

I almost forgot

Remember the little friend from Goddard who was a poor misguided child wearing the hideous orange suit?

Remember how the teacher and I determined the "winner" of the battle would be the baby who kept their outfit on the longest?

Remember how William had a stomach bug that day?

He still won. I picked him up at 2:45 and he still had his aTm outfit on while Ethan had lost his hours earlier. Muwahahah. Miss Jennifer took a really cute picture of the two of them laying next to each other, but because Ethan is not my child I'm not going to share the picture on the internet. I don't know how his parents would feel about that! But they sure did look cute laying there, oblivious to the war that they were entered into without their consent. Poor babies :)

I LOVE Where I Live

It's no secret that if I had it my way, we would never leave Colorado. Living far away from family and friends has its challenges, but then there are nights like last night that remind me how lucky I am to live in this beautiful place.

Two of Austin's coworkers are PCSing (army code for moving) this week so Austin invited them a few others over for a farewell bbq. Brilliant on a man's part - his work consists of sitting by the smoker all day, making sure there is a sufficient amount of wood chips and the brisket is slowly cooking away while I make sure the house is clean, bake brownies, make beans and potato salad...sounds like quite the trade off huh? :) I enjoy cooking though, and I enjoy having people over so I don't mind a bit. It's also WAY easier to have people over than to go to their house or go out somewhere with William. We have all of his toys and needs at our disposal this way.

After William had gone to bed and every one's bellies were full of food one of the guys who is moving brought out a guitar and started playing. I did not know one single song he played, so I couldn't join in the little sing along (well, I tried once and realized its quite hard to sing a song when you don't know the tune and no one else can carry one...) Instead of singing along, I just listened to the guitar, looked past our house and through the neighborhood into the mountains and night sky. By this time the sun had already set, so the night chill had come and I actually needed to grab a long sleeved shirt. IT IS JULY. Let me pause from the beauty here for a minute to say that if I were in Houston I would still have been sweating, or dripping in the sweat and humidity from earlier. It's doubtful that I would actually have made it that long outside! (unless I were sitting under a cover with fans blowing all over me) The sky was the most beautiful shade of blue, the mountains were perfectly lit to make a picturesque silhouette, and the breeze was blowing in my face. I decided at that point that if I could pause and never leave this place, I'd be a happy camper. It's hard not to see God's beauty every day in a place like this. *The only thing that would have made last night better was a nice patio set rather than our fold up camping chairs!*

Then the harsh reality hit me...the army giveth, and the army taketh away :( I only have one more year here! One more year in our cute little home, one more year to stare off into the mountains, and one more year to enjoy the dry, comfortable climate. I better get busy enjoying it before it gets ripped from my grasp!

Remember your Wedding Day

I've been thinking all week about what I'd say for week #2 of the marriage challenge. This week is supposed to be focused on remembering your wedding day, but I feel like I already wrote about my wedding day on our anniversary last year. And hey, by the way - did you see that?! I inserted a link! Thanks Nancy - you rock!

Back to the problem at hand; find a new perspective on my wedding day. So this time I think I'll focus on the entire weekend, and the my constant source of strength and comfort: Austin.

Austin and I left Denver a little over a week before the wedding to head down to Houston for last minute preparations and family time. Austin spent the week with his family while I spent the week with mine, so we didn't see each other for a few days until we all met up Friday morning at Camp Allen. Brandon had been arrested Thursday night, the flowers didn't arrive Thursday as planned, and Friday morning I had to accept the fact that the wedding was going to be moved inside. I know that may not sound like a very big deal, but it was.

Here's a little secret that I don't think even Austin knows: I reserved a date at Camp Allen 2 months before we were engaged. I had known for years that I wanted to be married at the outdoor chapel of Camp Allen, and I knew the weekends filled up fast so I didn't want to risk losing the weekend of my choice just because Austin hadn't officially asked. After all, like you read last week, I knew we were getting married long before this point anyway. We grew up going to church retreats at Camp Allen and spending a lot of time in our group of friends down by the lake. For Christmas when we were dating Austin gave me the James Avery cross, only sold at Camp Allen, designed after the cross at the lake. And then less than 2 months later my mom, my brothers and I went and spread my dad's ashes at the foot of that same cross. I couldn't imagine Austin and I being married at any other place.

Ever the stubborn woman that I am, I tried my best to appear to be cool, calm and collected as I absorbed the emotions of Brandon's arrest, the flower's absence, and the venue change...but my own strength can only last for so long. I've not always been great at leaning on other people when I need to, and I know that has been a source of contention between friends and me in the past, but I am very good at leaning on Austin for support. So when I saw him Friday morning we walked behind one of the buildings, he held me in his arms, and I lost it. It was my wedding weekend - the one I had been planning for over a year - and while everything had worked out up until this point it all seemed to be crashing down around me. All three of the main issues here, Brandon, the flowers, and the venue, can be circled around to focus on my dad. And that, of course, wasn't an easy focus seeing as he was not able to be there. Brandon was to walk me down the aisle, along with Brian, and give me away. This was a promise he made not only to me but to my dad also. We had plans in the service for a rose dedication to my dad, inviting him to be a part of our day, and the flowers were not there. And the last physical remains of my dad were supposed to be present, at that cross by the lake, but that wasn't going to happen either. My last spark of hope to somehow feel as though my dad were there was a faint, faint glimmer at this point and I was devastated. However, after a nice, long hug from Austin and his assurance that regardless of all of those things my dad would always be with me in spirit, I was able to turn my frown upside down and keep going.

Throughout the weekend as things didn't go as I thought they should Austin's support is what gave me my strength. When we did the rose dedication during the service Father Tom had told Austin that he'd need to help me walk up and down the steps because of my dress, but I thought it was pretty symbolic of the fact that I needed him for much more than just those steps. He was my pillar to lean on and having him by my side makes me stronger.

What I remember most from our wedding is still the same as it was when I wrote that post last December. I remember seeing Austin's face from the time I turned the corner to walk down the aisle until I went to sleep that night. And having him next to me, behind me, or even across the room, makes me confident, strong, happy, and a better person.

A Few Quick Things

I don't have much time - we are leaving work in a little over an hour to go go-cart racing and out to lunch for "team building" then I get to pick up my baby early and go shopping. YIPPEE!

But a few things to note:
~I told you he was close...William sat up last night on his own! He turned his body so he was facing Layla and could grab her tail, then he turned to face me, then Nancy, then leaned over to grab a toy. He was SO proud of himself.
~Austin read our blog last night for maybe the third time ever, and he read the post about "the dating days". I thought it was a nice post...apparently I made him seem "desperate" and "weak" and "soft"...all things that I guess only I am supposed to know??? :) oops.
~new shoes can give you a new lease on life like no other material item can I think. so I think I should go shoe shopping after I pick William up.
~there are prizes to be won at the go-cart races today. I am hoping they are accelerator points - an award recognition program that western union utilizes to award people's work. If I get 15,000 more points I get a free iPad. (last year in total I got 13,000 so I don't expect this to come easily)

I thought I had more things to note here. Apparently I don't. I guess William sitting up was such big news it seemed like more. Happy Thursday!

Wonderful, Wonderful William Wednesday

I thought of making this a "wordless William Wednesday" because I have so many pictures I want to share, but that just wouldn't be me. I'll TRY to keep the commentary brief though.

William had a lot going on in his little life this week! He had a little stomach bug Friday/Saturday and he was sent home from Goddard early on Friday. He developed a fever so we called to doctor to see what we should do between that time and his Saturday morning appointment. We put him on a clear liquids diet for the rest of the night and gave him Tylenol, and we didn't even need to use the thermometer to see when the fever broke because his mood definitely told us. He was all of a sudden Mr. Chipper and playful! I didn't like having a sick baby, so when I stopped at target to get some ingredients for homemade diaper cream I got him a football and 2 books. I hope he doesn't get sick a lot because that could get expensive! The doctor told us that after he had a night of clear fluids he wanted us to give him only solid foods on Saturday - bananas, rice cereal, and sweet potatoes. He hadn't ever had the sweet potatoes or bananas - but I think he thought they were pretty fun. Mostly to play with...here he is with sweet potatoes on his forehead. Not quite his mouth, but close right?

We went to the doctor to make sure it wasn't anything more serious, and it wasn't, so on our way back home I lost the haircut battle. When William was born with a head of hair Austin was already talking about how soon he'd need a haircut. I tried lying and telling him babies legally can't have haircuts until they are 2. He bought it for a month or so, until he heard otherwise. Then it was just a waiting game to see when I'd lost ground. Picture an army storming down the walls of a castle...I could only hold up fort for so long, and Saturday I lost. I shouldn't make it sound so bad seeing as I am the one who made the appointment, and he looks absolutely PRECIOUS with his big boy cut. At first I thought he didn't look like a baby anymore, but then Austin pointed out that his hair now looks identical to his 10-day old pictures...so its hard to say he no longer looks like a baby :) So here is his hippie hair (by austin's definition, anything out of military regulation is hippie hair). We took him to a place called "Jack and Jill" where he sat in a firetruck (and could nearly sit all by himself which he enjoyed), he watched TV and checked himself out in the mirror. I'm pretty sure he didn't even notice there was some strange lady messing with his hair. Afterwards they gave us (for a small fee) a certificate with a picture and his hair. Daddy was so proud!


He's feeling better now and he is 100% interested in discovering new things. He is on the verge of sitting up on his own - he can do it for a little bit but we can't be far because he topples over. He wants so badly to be able to sit by himself, reach for his toys, throw them as far as he wants and go get them...but he's just not there yet and it seems terribly frustrating. Here he is laying on our bed trying his hardest to crawl.
The biggest thing he accomplished this week came this morning. Austin was holding him on his lap and he was looking at me. I said "where's your daddy?" and without batting an eye he turned and looked straight at Austin, giving him the biggest grin. I'm not gonna lie, I wish it had happened the other way around, but it was still fun to see him make the connection between a word and an object.
This week at school they are going to be working a lot with him on sitting up by himself, and we are going to have them start giving him mid-day servings of either sweet potatoes or rice cereal. Maybe next week he'll have another fun milestone for you - if not, you can just be sure it'll be another week of discovering new things.

Ahh, Date Parties

When I was in elementary school My Girl came out and I was instantly called "vada" or "anna" (Vada's character's real-life name) because the resemblance was almost scary. It was soon after I got this nickname that I had a vivid dream, so vivid that I still remember it, about my long-lost twin Anna that my "real" parents kept while giving me up for adoption to my "fake" mom and dad. You have to know that my brothers had me convinced that women could only give birth to one gender and because my mom already had 2 boys, clearly I was the adopted one. The dream haunted me, clearly as I remember it almost 20 years later, so when I went to college and found my long lost twin it was pretty ironic!

I like to tell Addie the story of the first time we met because I still think its funny, and she doesn't remember it at all. That's how much of an impression I made on her! It was towards the beginning of the second semester of our freshman year, and we were dating guys in the same Corps outfit. They had a Hawaiian luau date party one weekend and afterwards Jonathan and I went back to his dorm room with his roommate Randy, his girlfriend Brittney, and another couple who I'd never met. The guy was one year below Jonathan and Randy, and the girl was my age. She and Brittney had met and hit it off I guess, so Brittney invited them in...and that's when I first met Addie. I got a kick out of her and Ryan, her boyfriend, because I thought they were the oddest match...I'd NEVER pick him for her. sweet guy, bless his heart, and insert any other phrase to counteract negative comments...he just wasn't that fantastic and she was so sweet! Brittney and Addie had plans to go get pedicures the next day and invited me along. I was always pretty shy around Jonathan's friends girlfriends - never the social butterfly at first - so I was hesitant to go, but I also was eager to make more friends so I went along. After the pedicures we went to lunch at Johnny Carinos where Addie and I discovered we have the same birthday.

Fast forward a little over a year. I was having roommate drama and had decided that I would move into a one bedroom for my junior year. Didn't want the trouble of roommates, but I hadn't found a place yet. Also, wasn't sure how I'd afford a one bedroom...way more expensive! Brittney saw me online one day and said, "Hey, do you need a roommate?" She told me that Addie, who I had seen periodically at football games or parties but never really got to know that well, was wanting to move into a 3 bedroom duplex with her friend Jen but their third roommate backed out. I said sure, Addie called me to see if I wanted to go see the place, then we signed the lease that week. I hardly knew Addie and didn't even MEET Jen at the lease signing, but I figured having 2 roommates that I barely knew would be better than 3 good friends who ended up spending so much time together than we ripped each other's hair out. If the 3 of us hated each other I wouldn't be at a loss since we weren't friends to begin with, and if we ended up having a blast it would be an unexpected surprise.

I must say it was the second of the two.

We lived together the last 2 years of college and it was by far the best thing that I took from college. Ok, maybe my degree was the best but this was a close second! It took me a few months to warm up to Jen (remember my lack of social skills when I don't know people?) but because I knew Addie a little bit we didn't have a trial-time before our friendship took off. We weren't inseparable and we both had our own friends, but that is what made the friendship even better I think. We weren't dependent on each other, but we had a blast when we were together. By the end of our senior year the 3 of us would have preferred stay home hanging out with each other in our living room than go out to a crowded club or party and we had some of the best times.

Along with sharing a birthday and many common interests, Addie and I were constantly told how much we looked alike. We never saw it, but apparently EVERY ONE else did. One day when I was working at Poor Yoricks someone yelled out, "Addie!" I turned to see if she was there, then realized he was talking to me. I laughed and said, "Oh, I'm not Addie. She's actually my roommate though!" "oh shut up, you're so stupid addie" "no really, I'm amanda" "whatever. how have you been?" "no...I swear..." "show me your student ID" REALLY??? Who was this guy, why was he demanding to see my ID, and WHY did I oblige??? He was stunned when he saw my ID. Another instance of shock and amazement was when Addie's friend from Oklahoma was in town, who I hadn't met yet. When I walked out to the living room Saturday morning he started talking to me like we were old pals. I thought he was just extra friendly, so I was trying to be a good host (A host, above all, must be nice to his guests...or so Thidwick and Dr Seuss taught me) It wasn't until Addie walked out of her room a few minutes later that Jason realized he was talking to a stranger the whole time.

So, if its true that women can only give birth to one gender, I can at least find some comfort in knowing that I found my "real" sibling. 20 years late, but that's ok. It was worth the wait! Our 2 years as roommates were just the beginning and we are just as close as, if not closer than, when we lived together. She's such a wonderful support, a great friend, and whenever we're together its always a blast. One of the many blessings in my life for sure.

Happy 26th birthday Addie...and let's not spend our 27th in different states k?

p.s.

Can you tell I'm ready for football???

I Thought They Could be Friends

When William and I took my mom to his school before he was enrolled we noticed there was another baby that was born just one week after him. Ethan Evans is his name. I thought it was cute, maybe they could be friends when they're a little older.

Now I'm a little worried.

Last night as William was falling asleep I told Austin I thought William wanted to be an aggie today. So this morning after we took off the CUTEST ARMY PJ'S EVER we put him in his maroon onesie and some blue shorts. He looked cute as a button. After I got ready, got him ready, and got our bags all packed I took him to Goddard. I was a few minutes earlier than usual, and a few families are on vacation, so there was only one other baby there when we got there. Miss Jennifer was sitting on the floor playing with Ethan and as I looked closer I noticed he was wearing the ugliest color I've ever seen with this nasty little white logo on it.

That's right, Ethan Evans was wearing a longhorn outfit. That poor soul! Miss Jennifer laughed as she noticed William's outfit and I said, "William, you have to be skeptical of those people. I thought you would be friends but you just can't ever be sure about longhorns so watch out". Jennifer just laughed and said she was going to lay them next to each other and see what they do to hash it out. The "winner" we determined would be the baby who lasts in the outfit the longest. Ethan spits up a LOT, so I'm guessing William will win. As he should.

I'm just kidding. For the most part. Its funny that in Colorado you'd have babies wearing aggie and longhorn outfits. I wonder if Ethan will wear Texans or Cowboys stuff during football season? That could be fun too. But now I know I have to get William some more aggie clothes for 9-12 months so he can wear them to school after the aggies BTHO tu on thanksgiving day at good ol' Kyle Field.

Gig 'em aggies! :)

Birthdays

I was emailing with my friend Addie this morning about our upcoming birthday. Addie and I may have been twins separated at birth - the only thing that puts a kink in this theory is that both of our moms kind of remember giving birth. Other than that, it could be true! We were born on July 19, 1984 and it is kind of bizarre that we bumped into each other in college and became such great friends. Did I mention that it has been said that we look alike? So much so that in college someone called me Addie and made me show my student ID to prove I wasn't Addie? She was my roommate for the last 2 years of college, along with Jen, and those 2 years were even better than the first 2. When we were talking this morning I was asking her what her plans were, and she said she didn't think she'd be doing much - and that people don't make a big deal out of birthdays anymore. Which is true, but sad I think.

Why shouldn't we make big deals out of birthdays? Not necessarily by spending oogles of money, but its one day out of the year when you can celebrate that one person all by them self! (or in Addie and my case, the 2 of us.) By the way, if you just remember the number 8 for me that may help you celebrate...i wear a size 8 ring, shoe, and clothes. just fyi. I think I am getting side tracked again...

The point is - why don't we all love to celebrate other people's birthdays? If not for the purpose of celebrating their importance in your life, it gives you an excuse to do something out of the ordinary. Get a group together for a movie, go out to a fun dinner, go to a baseball game, night out on the town, movie night at home with wine and cheese (or popcorn and beer)...you can turn it into something about yourself if you don't want to focus on the other person. Kind of defeats the purpose, but I'm sure the person wouldn't mind as long as their birthday was being acknowledged and celebrated.

The real focus should be that person though. If its your spouse, you probably celebrate them on your anniversary too (if you don't, don't tell me cause you might get an earful) or if its your child you probably celebrate them every day...but other than those exceptions, it isn't often that you take the time out to focus 100% on someone else and how special they are. So why not take advantage of the one day out of the year that God designed for that purpose?

I thought about starting this on the 12th with MissJan, but I think I'll start next Monday with Addie. I think I'll write all about how much that person means to me like I have for weddings and other special occasions. Even if I can't be in Houston to celebrate with people, that doesn't mean I can't celebrate their life on my own!

In the meantime, just keep telling yourself 8. 8, 8, 8....

William Wednesday

We live in a changing world. Would I be a broken record if I said I couldn't believe how much has changed since last Wednesday? Well, if I am, I don't care. I can't believe it! If I hadn't titled this post "William Wednesday" I would have called it "eating, sleeping, movin and groovin" because those are the highlights of William's week.

I don't know how much a baby is "supposed" to eat, and ever since William was born I have been rather obsessive about counting his intake daily. When he was 2 weeks old he wasn't getting enough because he had no interest in eating, so the doctor told me to make sure he was getting at least 15 ounces, but optimally 20 ounces per day. Then around one month he told me 24 ounces is ideal. I used to have daily charts (yep, I said obsessive) but then I just started keeping count in my head. It was difficult for me to relinquish the counting-control when I came back to work...no one seemed to be as concerned as I was that we knew EXACTLY how much he was drinking. I'm sure it was equally frustrating on Austin, my mom, and Candace's parts as I asked them periodically throughout the days "How many ounces has he had? ... well like 2 full bottles or did he leave an ounce in one? ...are you sure its only been 2?" It was an obsession, I'll admit it. Well, Goddard fuels the behavior by writing down exactly how much he drinks - its perfect! Two weeks ago he was drinking about 25 ounces a day. A "big day" consisted of 28 ounces.

Then one day he became a ravaging animal. Maybe "ravaging animal" is a bit extreme since he is still consuming less than I take in just in my 8 hour work day, but it was such a drastic jump. We started giving him rice cereal last week and I think we timed it perfectly because that was right when his bout of hunger began and I can't imagine if he was only on formula! He is now drinking almost 40 ounces every day plus cereal!

The cereal - priceless. On the first attempt I'm not sure if he got 2 spoonfuls in total, and remember a "spoonful" equates to one of the sample size spoons at an ice cream shop! He had fun with it at first, but grew tired of it rather quickly and just wanted his bottle. After the first attempt we gave him cereal in his evening bottle a couple of times, then tried with the spoon again. With the help of a tip from a friend of mine to nearly shovel the food in his mouth he loved it! I think he likes grabbing the bowl and playing with it as much as he enjoys eating it, but then again we like that too. We've started giving him a bowl of cereal around our dinner time, then his regular bedtime bottle at 8:00. Last night he grabbed the spoon as it was in my hand and pulled it right into his mouth. He's getting so smart! I was sure he'd jab it in his cheek or up his nose, but his spacial relations have really developed and he knew exactly where his mouth was. I think its the makings of a genius :)

On the sleeping front, he has gotten onto a more regular napping routine and has been taking 2.5 hour naps at school. He sleeps a little less at night, which has disrupted my morning routine, but he's still getting a full night's rest. And I swear one night last week he grew an inch. I swear! Fine, don't believe me. But I swear he did.

And boy is he moving! He hasn't quite figured out how to get where he wants to go which has been pretty frustrating for him. One day over the weekend he wanted to go forward to get to his coveted ball, but because he doesn't know how he ended up scooting in a circle. He doesn't know to lift his belly up, so even though he can get his legs moving, his belly stays stationary. After he had made it the full 360 degrees I think he realized he had gone no where and started to fuss. I don't want to get in the habit of giving him what he wants whenever he is slightly frustrated, but he worked SO HARD to get this ball that I thought he deserved it...call me a softie, whatever. I gave it to him :) And this morning I thought he was going to rip my hair right out of my head trying to climb up to the "artwork" hanging from the ceiling at school. Ironically, he was going for his own masterpiece. Did I mention we have a genius on our hands?

Along with his incredible brilliance, he is Mr. Tough Guy. When I picked him up yesterday Miss Colleen said "Look at his muscle definition!" pointing to his...hmm...if I could only remember biology right now...upper arm muscles? Above the biceps...not deltoids, those are on your back. Not triceps, those are behind the biceps...hmm, I'll have to relearn the muscles. Anyhow, she said he was going to be a tough guy and that proved true this morning at his doctor appointment. He went in for the second half of his 4 month shots and he hardly even cared that he was poked! He gave me this look right as she stuck the needle in his leg like, "MOM, what the heck was THAT about ???" then he started to act like he wanted to cry, I picked him up and he just started laughing! Take that Miss Mean Nurse Lady! Pretty sure I cried for him though. Ahhhhh what a big tough mom he has.

All week I kept telling myself to email myself cereal pictures to post in this week's William update, but all week I told myself "I'll do it tomorrow". So, now I'm telling you I'll do it tomorrow...I wouldn't recommend holding your breath though.

I think I look down at my clock every 3 minutes at work, my legs nervously shaking and tapping the floor, just busting at the seams waiting to get out the door and go get my baby. I want to see what he'll do next!

The Dating Days

I was talking to MissJan yesterday and at some point in the conversation it came up that dads really take the backseat when a baby is born. Not necessarily with the wife (or maybe in some cases very MUCH with the wife, I don't know) but just in general. When I talk to people now its always "How's William", then "How are you?" and then Austin comes third, if at all. Or I hear from people "I miss William" or "I want to see William"...sometimes I'm included in there as the carrier of William (not as Amanda for sure) but Austin gets left in the dust. I've been told that's just how it goes. Then I was reading a blog that I have started following (and as a side note: ever since I wrote the post about the blog world my blog following has gone from 2 blogs to 10) and the writer is involved in the challenge to "Be the wife your husband needs you to be".

I'm not sure where or how this challenge got started, but I've seen it on a few blogs. It started June 4 and goes into August. There are topics each week to focus on, and I think all of these women are in discussion groups together and blog on their own - not sure if any of this is ever relayed back to the husbands or not, but I'm guessing that is part of the challenge. I don't want to be in discussion groups, I don't know any of the people involved in this, and I'm 4 weeks late getting into it...so I'll just have my own session by myself. It'll be my own party and I can do whatever I want! Things are better that way anyway :) The sessions are called Marriage Mondays - mine won't always be on Mondays, and it may not always be on the same day of the week. I'm just going to march to the beat of my own drum here.

I'll start from the very beginning (a very good place to start...) Week One: Remember The Dating Days

Deciding where to start the discussion on "dating days" isn't easy for Austin and me. I could start from the very, very beginning; back in 1997. But the first time we "dated" I think we saw each other outside of church maybe twice. I was in 7th grade, and he was absolutely the shyest 8th grade boy I had ever met. We were in Sunday School together, though we went to separate schools, and I was friends with his brother's girlfriend so I think it just made every bit of junior high "sense" for us to date. But, like I said, we never once actually went on a date. Austin likes to try and give me a guilt trip for breaking his heart twice, but I just laugh at the thought that his heart was possibly affected in any way when I broke up with him in 7th grade.

But the second "heartbreak" was more real. And I knew it. I didn't talk to him much between the first time I broke up with him and the second time we started dating, but again I was friends with his brother's *new* girlfriend, and we had established a larger group of friends at church. I wasn't in Sunday School with him, or any of them for that matter, but we did spend time together on the weekends. Our group of friends was split between 3 high schools, and I was the lone junior high kid, so for the most part none of us saw each other in school. I don't know why Austin decided it was a good idea that he ask me to be his girlfriend on the night that his brother and I were in a huge fight and I was steaming mad, but then again his brother and I were in fights a lot so maybe he just figured it was as good a time as any. We already had plans to go to his homecoming dance together, after my mom finally gave in and said I could go, so the natural progression was to become his girlfriend.

We dated for about 6 months, and this time I'd actually say we dated. We went to movies, went out to eat, spent time together on weekends, and of course saw each other at church. I'd still say he was the shyest 9th grade boy I had ever known though. He wasn't much for talking on the phone, but what we were good at was writing letters. This was before texting, before email, and before instant messaging on the computer (or at least before the 2 of us had access to those modes of communication) so our letters were the old fashioned type: snail mail. We'd write each other once or twice a week. I don't remember what we wrote about - I can't imagine what we had to write about. But I always ran to the mailbox, literally, when the maillady stopped by so I could see if I had another letter from my heart throb.

Austin told me he loved me about 4 months into the relationship, and he was always far more into me than I was into him. I never told him I loved him back - and looking back, I can't imagine that felt very good! But I knew that I had no idea what that truly meant, and I had no idea what I was feeling anyway, so I wasn't willing to throw that out there unless I knew I meant it.

6 months into our relationship my dad passed away, and 4 days later I decided I wanted to break up with Austin. My friend Amanda and I were on our way to see Titanic for about the eighth time, and the idea just popped in my head. I remember saying, "Let me call Austin really quick before we go". So I did, and I broke up with him. He asked for an explanation which I did not have. I still don't really know why I broke up with him, but the best reason I can come up with is that I was just out of sorts and my life was so turned around that I didn't know my right from left. I had no business having a boyfriend anyway.

I went into high school a few months later, got busy with band and friends, and started attending a new church where a lot of my friends from school went. I would visit my old church maybe twice a year, and I kept up with Austin's mom as my Mary Kay Lady. I think I did it to secretly keep tabs on what he was up to, but he was a big, cool football star at a different high school, not to mention he always had a girlfriend...I didn't have a chance in the world. To be honest, as much as I did like to keep tabs on his whereabouts and hear how he was doing, I'm not sure I was interested in dating him anyway. How serious he was about me at such a young age was pretty scary! So, over the course of the next few years Austin and I just kind of lost touch. I can honestly say I never went long without thinking and wondering...but I tried my best to keep the thoughts out of my head. It was my first puppy love, I'd think of it forever right?

6 years after I broke up with Austin I ran into his mom at church. It was sometime towards the end of my sophomore year of college. After we got caught up on how she was doing and how I was doing I asked about Austin. She told me that he had *finally* broken up with his high school sweet heart (bleh) and he was preparing to deploy that summer. She said he'd be home for a couple of weeks in June and that she knew he'd love to hear from me, so she gave me her cell phone number and told me to call while he was in town. Well, as luck would have it, one week before I had my calendar marked to call I put my cell phone in a cup of water and fried it. There would be no calling Austin. I was slightly disappointed, and after telling Alexis this she encouraged me to send him a card or something. I told her that I wasn't sure that was such a good idea because I knew how he had always viewed me, and I wasn't sure I was interested in jumping in the deep end. She kept nudging me though, as only a good friend can. I finally got the courage to send him an email by copying his email address off a forwarded message my brother had sent to both of us(not a card, but still). I was shocked when I obsessively checked my email 2 hours later and had already gotten a reply from him.

We began emailing in July of 2004. What started as a weekly commitment became a two or three times a day commitment by the end of the year. I finally had to accept that I was in farther than I had planned to be when I found myself paying $2 per minute for sub par internet connection in our hotel in Hawaii just to see if he had written.

In March of the following year Austin came home for 2 weeks R&R from Iraq, which coincided with my spring break perfectly, and we spent every second possible together. In all honesty, if I were his family I would have been hurt by the attention he gave to me - a girl that just reappeared a few months earlier - rather than them, but I guess families are pretty understanding. An hour after I dropped him off to fly back to Iraq for the last 3 months of his deployment my mom looked at me and said "you're going to marry him aren't you?" To which I replied, "yes". She knew it, I knew it, and I'm pretty sure he knew it too.

He got home in June of 2005, we both spent most of our summer in Houston (together of course) and then in the fall I went back to school while he went back to Killeen. When I helped him move into his new place, we were unpacking his dresser drawers and what I found knocked me on my heels: he had kept every letter that I had written him in junior high. He was definitely years ahead of me back then! We visited each other on the weekends, talked nonstop, and in December when he got orders for Buckley AFB here in Aurora he asked if I'd come with him. His report date was 3 weeks before I was finished with school, so the timing couldn't have been more perfect, and I can't think of a place I would have rathered move than Colorado. A few weeks before he left he proposed, we moved to Colorado and 1.5 years later we were married.

So I'm not sure which benchmark I'd use in describing the dating days for Austin and me. I do know that he has always loved me in a way that I originally didn't know possible, and that it took me a long time to learn the depths of that kind of love. One of his coworkers, after meeting me for the first time, said "Wow, Austin's not quite the asshole when you're around". I'm not sure what kind of soldier he is, I hear he's a very good one so I'd guess that comes with a pretty rough presence, but with me he's always been putty in my hands. Its ok though, because I am equally putty in his. He'd stop at nothing to make me happy, which has resulted in me being one of the happiest, luckiest, and best treated wives in the world. The dating days were fun, but they were only a glimpse into my future.

Career Aspirations

I still haven't figured out how to insert hyperlinks like "click here" or "read this" with a link to a previous post - and no one has offered up any help! So, if you're interested in what spurred the 6 month personal debate that I'm about to comment on further, read my post from 11/18/2009. It's not necessary though, and you may already have read it anyway.



I am not flustered and heated about my job like I was when I wrote the post on 11/18 so obviously I'm thinking more clearly. I have had more time to think on my job and career-future and I've decided that I was right in thinking I need a new career. Not today or tomorrow, but not too far in the future either.



In knowing that I want to do something else, but unsure what that would be, I have been thinking over the last 6 months about what else I'd be interested in. As I mentioned on 11/18, I'd still love to write as I do enjoy it, but I don't know how well that pays the bills and I'm not sure I write well enough to be successful anyway. Plus, it doesn't matter how well you write if you've got nothing to write about! Because I wasn't sure what I wanted to do, I decided to focus on what it is that I want to get out of a career. I determined that the main thing I care about is that I want to positively impact another person by the work I do. I don't know what spurred this need because I didn't always have this conviction, but I definitely do now. I can see myself having to answer to my son (and future sibling/s) as they look at me and ask: Mommy what did you do with your job to help someone else? I don't want my answer to be: I helped stock holders' pocketbooks. Maybe I'm jealous that their dad will have an answer with more integrity and selflessness.



Don't get me wrong, I am in no way belittling my job or any other job for that matter. We are not all called to be firemen, and what a non-productive world it would be if we were. There are people who get satisfaction and fulfillment from tax accounting, and I'm glad they found their niche. I think its important that we all find intrinsic value in our jobs, but right now I do not. So I knew I wanted to find something that would benefit the lives' of others, I just still wasn't sure what that would be. I know things I don't want to do, for instance I'm not about to put on a uniform and go fight the War on Terror, that's for sure! But I couldn't just keep eliminating options I don't like, I needed to find something that I do like.

Then something happened: I took William to daycare for the first time.

I found a new appreciation for William's school when I dropped him off that I hadn't had just by visiting. I appreciated the cleanliness, the order, the structure, the curriculum, and the location back in December when we put down our deposit. What I didn't fully appreciate then, though, was the staff. I knew I liked them, and at the time that was good enough for me. I didn't realize how invested they were in the children's lives, the relationships with the parents, or the overall job they are entrusted with. I didn't realize it at the time, nor did I realize the value it carried.

The teachers in the classrooms absolutely love each child. I visited some child care centers where the teachers were there for the same reason I am at Western Union: to pay the bills. I can't knock them for having that job-perspective as I have it too, but I did notice their lack of concern for the overall growth and development of each child. At William's school, the teachers not only care - they have a sense of responsibility and develop an individual love for each one of their students. When I visited the school before I actually dropped him off, to me it was a room with 8 babies in it. But to Miss Kim and Miss Jennifer it was a room with Conner, Alexis, Helen, Mateus, Emmett, Diego, Ethan, and Rylan. More impressive than the love that the teachers have for each child, to me, is the love that the education director and school director/owner have for each family. Miss Elise, the education director, says bye to each kid as he/she leaves and when she goes home for the day she goes into every classroom and gives every child left a hug goodbye. She knows each one of their quirks and personality traits, knows their favorite foods and toys, how they sleep, etc. She knows them all, and loves each one of them. Brooke, the school owner, is no different.

I don't have the capacity to be a teacher at a daycare or the education director, unless I want to go back to school, but what I realized is that I would absolutely love to be the owner of a Goddard franchise location. I believe very strongly in the curriculum they use to spur the development of the children, and I can appreciate as a parent the value of the quality of staff they insist upon hiring. Teachers shape the lives of children, regardless of what age they teach, but I now know that the directors directly impact the children's lives as well as their parents. I can leave William every day knowing that not only are Miss Kim and Miss Jennifer wonderful with the babies, but Elise and Brooke are equally capable and just as invested in his life. I never could have understood the value of that until actually leaving William in their care.

Owning and operating a Goddard school seems like it'd be the best of both worlds for me. It would allow me to utilize my business background and knowledge, while making an impact on the lives of my students as well as their parents. Not only would I be making a difference, but I'd be doing something in which I strongly believe. I couldn't ask for more out of a career.

As for the timing, I won't be turning my notice in at western union anytime soon that's for sure! I don't have the net worth required to open the franchise, and we are not "settled" here for the long haul so it'd be pointless to begin the process now anyway. So I know I'm looking a little further down the road, but it makes working here less meaningless if I know what I'm working towards. So...someday...

William Wednesday Part 2

Meant to add this to the last post. This is William in Dallas when Brandon was raising him over his head. See him lifting his arms and looking up? Babies are incredible. He can't talk, but he figured out a way to let Brandon know that he was not done playing their game!

Western World Wednesday

William has been a busy, busy boy this week. He's started feeling much better and with that has come a burst of energy and exploration. Yesterday morning I had him in his jumparoo while I made his bottles and he learned that the seat can turn around. I told my mom, "You would have thought he discovered America by the excitement on his face!" May have been more like Alaska, though, because as he turned clockwise he discovered a new toy that has a polar bear in a spinn-able snow globe. He vigorously spun the globe, making the white beads shake all around, and he was SO proud of his new discovery and new skill.

After the first 2-3 days on his new antibiotic we definitely noticed William perking up. He was more energetic and playful, and we were happy to have our joyful baby back. And last night was the first night in almost 2 weeks when he didn't wake up! I forgot how exhausting it can be to wake up every few hours, but it sure felt nice to have a full night's sleep last night.

He is getting stronger and stronger sitting up and he's almost to the point of sitting up for his entire bath. He likes to lean forward and lick the front end of his little tub, which I think is kind of gross, so I tend to lay him back down but I know we need to let him work those muscles. He's gotten his leg muscles so strong by jumping in his jumparoo, and he's started scooting himself along the floor when he's on his stomach. He won't do it unless he has a purpose, so we generally have to have his favorite ball within close reach. Then he'll scoot his little legs to get his body to move (centimeters at a time, granted) until he gets to his ball. If its too far away he gets very frustrated, or if he knocks it farther away he generally gives up. But he's workin on it!

He has also developed a new laugh. More than a laugh, its a squeal! I don't know if I should say "developed" since he did it last night for the first time, but you could hear it all over the house it was so loud. Austin took him to his room to get him undressed for bath time while I went to the bathroom to get the water ready, and Austin was in no hurry to get into the bathroom. He had him laying on his changing table and was tickling his ribs. Austin was making funny noises which I think added to William's entertainment, so he just started cracking up. He was laughing so hard that he'd lose his breath, then take a big high pitched gasp of air and start laughing again. I ran in to see what they were doing, but his laughing had died down before I could see his face :( Hopefully Austin can repeat it tonight!

My favorite, favorite, favorite thing that he William is doing now is "singing" himself to sleep. Our nighttime routine ends with one of us rocking William either to sleep or near-sleep before we lay him in his crib. Just as he is dozing off he begins making the softest cooing sounds. His eyes are closed, and the sounds aren't as vocal or emphatic as when he talks during the day, he just kind of lulls himself to sleep. We can't see his face while we rock him, but we always know he's almost out by his singing. I told you before that his laugh was the most precious sound, but I think this new singing is. It's a close call, I know that ;)

I definitely enjoy writing these William Wednesday posts because it keeps things in order and organized for me. He's doing so much and learning so quickly that its hard for me to remember to jot it all down for his scrapbook. These posts help me keep it all in line though!

Happy Birthday America!

Hope everyone had a wonderful, safe and happy 4th of July! We sure did in the Wallis house, and it was much needed for sure.

I was worried we'd be working late Friday because of something we had due, so when we were released at 3 I was pleasantly surprised! I had a couple of things that needed to be returned at the mall so after Austin finished running a few errands we went to the mall and did that. The 2 stores I needed to go to were on opposite sides of the mall, which Austin thinks is a ploy on my part to need to shop more. But we were in and out pretty quickly...the last thing I felt like doing was walking around a mall. I just wanted to be home cuddling with my babies!

Saturday we went to Costco in the morning and broke the record for the least amount of $ spent in one trip. I won't tell you how much cause its a bit embarrassing that its the LEAST, but we were pleased :) Austin smoked some ribs, I baked an apple pie, and he invited some friends over to watch UFC. William was putting on a show, flirting with all the ladies and laughing it up with the guys. I didn't know 5 month old babies knew how to perform like that! He definitely turned it on though. We spent the actual holiday of the 4th relaxing and being lazy. Loved every minute of it! Fireworks aren't legal in Aurora, so we didn't get to see any of those but that's ok. When I lived in Houston I spent every 4th of July at the Scarpati's house where I was responsible for monitoring the ice cream maker, we played in the pool (or I threw MissJan in), and Uncle Matt set off fireworks. I missed my family 4th tradition, but it was so nice to be at home with no where we had to be.

Yesterday we had a wonderful day. William woke us up at 6 as usual, so we played with him for awhile until he started to appear tired. We were still tired too so we all 3 took a 2 hour nap. It was fantastic! Once we woke up we took our time getting ready, then we dropped William off at Goddard so we could have some mommy-daddy time on the golf course. I hadn't played golf since the fall of 2008, so it was like starting over, but we had a great time. We were paired up with a nice couple and I love playing with people who are relaxed and not uptight. I'm not very good so I don't want to be playing with people tapping their feet waiting on me all day. I actually did pretty well too! After we finished playing we went and got William...sure wish I could just leave him for 5 hours every day. There were only 18 kids in the entire school yesterday, so they got lots of one-on-one attention. I'm sure they all enjoyed that! After we got home I took William and Layla on a walk while Austin did the yard, we had chili and grits (YUM) for dinner, gave William his bath and put him to bed. I decided that we should have 3 day weekends every weekend...I'd gladly work 10 hour days to have an extra day off. I work 10 hour days a lot of the time as it is, so may as well get something for it!

But, I don't see the work schedule changing anytime soon so I'll just enjoy the few long weekends we do have and be thankful. Maybe it allows me to enjoy them more, just knowing how rare and special they are. Next up...labor day? Man, that's far away. Oh well, its officially my birth month so I've got that to be excited about! Happy July :)

Won't Take Nothin but a Memory

Every time I hear Miranda Lambert's latest hit "The House that Built Me" it makes me think of Mimi, and it happens a lot seeing as the radio stations love to play hit songs and beat them into the ground! If you haven't heard it, here are the lyrics to the chorus:

Thought if I could touch this place or feel it
This brokenness inside me might start healin
Out here its like I'm someone else
Thought that maybe I could find myself
If I could just come in I swear I'll leave
Won't take nothin but a memory
From the house that built me

The chorus precisely sums up how I felt last Wednesday when Austin and I pulled up to Mimi's house. There are a lot of houses that "built me". There's the house I lived in from the time I was born until I was 16, Granny's house where so many memories were made with my family from Chicago, the Scarpati's house that was like our family's second home, and countless others. Mimi's house ranks pretty high up there on shaping my childhood and shaping me into who I am though. The house is filled with memories from growing up. When I walked in her front door I could almost see her standing there with open arms to greet me with a hug. When I walked in the front sitting room I could see my dad sitting on the couch on Christmas. At the dining room table I could see the Easter Egg tower that she set out every year and a table full of food for the adults to eat. In the "green room" I could see my brothers and cousins sitting at Mimi's bridge table playing with her card shuffler and ash trays. When I closed my eyes, walking through her house was like taking a walk through my childhood. Remembering both Mimi and my dad at such happy times brought peace to my broken heart.

So when I found out the next day that I had been labeled as a pilfering thief for how I behaved in Mimi's house, I was hurt beyond belief. I can honestly say that I am not sure I have ever been more hurt in my entire life. More than hurt I was dumbfounded and in awe. At first I thought "Shame on me for putting myself in a position to even be accused of something like that" but then I thought "Shame on someone who knows me to believe for even one second that I am capable of that kind of behavior". Other than a picture of my dad that was sitting on Mimi's desk in her bedroom, there's not one thing in Mimi's house that I could have taken that would have brought me any peace or comfort. What I've lost is a relationship and no material items can replace that or fill the gap. I'm humiliated that someone would think I could have had any other intentions, and I'm regretful for anything I did to allow someone to believe that about me. I took a walk down memory lane as followed family through her house, not a walk through a flea market.

As for my grief process, I'm not ok and it is very frustrating to me. I cried through the entire funeral, cried when I entered her house, cried when I entered the church, cried that night as I fell asleep - I haven't experienced this kind of emptiness in a long, long time and I just feel (think) like it shouldn't be this way. Mimi lived a long, wonderful life and I was blessed beyond measure to have been a part of it. We knew her time would come, every one's does, and as she became more and more sick we knew her time was nearing. I had every opportunity to be ready for it, I took every opportunity I could to be with her and talk with her, so in my head I think I should be ok. But I'm not. My maternal grandmother passed away when I was a junior in high school and I can still remember walking out of my grief counselor's office after she told me. I wasn't sad or broken, I knew it was coming and it was ok. I thought I was pretty big and strong for handling it so well, so now I'm not sure if I wasn't so big and strong then or if I'm not so big and strong now.

I was hit by two freight trains last week. One when my grandmother died and the other when I was so horribly misunderstood. I can honestly say that seeing the freight train coming doesn't make it any less painful. It's still a freight train, and it still hurts.