Dec 15, 2010

A Window into my World

Let me just put this out there: Today isn't my favorite of my 3 anniversaries. First and foremost, we are apart. So, that's enough right? Then beyond that I just have had a crazy morning.

I woke up late, then instead of rushing to get ready I spent 20 minutes on facebook. Why? No one else was on faecbook, so no one was updating anything. Literally, from the time I logged in to the time I finally slapped myself hard enough to make myself quit not one new thing had been posted. I don't know what I was doing! So, at that point it was too late to wash my hair. I have a point in my morning when it becomes too late to wash and do my hair, and I had passed that point purely by sitting on facebook.

So, I quickly got ready and then it occurred to me that it is trash day. I hate trash day. I don't know why, I just do. If there were a neighborhood kid who was willing to take my trash down to the curb every Wednesday I'd probably waste $10 just to not do it myself. I know it seems silly - it takes about 15 seconds, but it is Austin's job. I don't do the trash. Plus, my trailblazer blocks the trash can in the garage so to get the trash out I have to pull the truck out. You could also say that the boxes of stuff for goodwill and for soldiers' care packages are blocking the trash, but those aren't so easy to move. All around, just a pain. So, not only was I grumpy over having to roll the trash can to the curb, but that also meant I needed to empty the trash out of the bathrooms, the kitchen, put the cat litter trash that was sitting in the garage INTO the trash can...I just added 5 more minutes. What a pain! (**completely aware that I'm being a baby**)

Then, as I'm taking the trash out of the laundry room I realize I had put clothes in the wash last night, so I need to move those to the dryer. Why didn't I just stay up late enough last night? That would have been a far better plan. What is it that they say about hindsight again?

So, I was just a bit scatterbrained all morning. Couldn't think of what I needed to do or get, never felt like I had my day organized - I HATE that disheveled feeling. Hats off to those people who function under that sort of feeling on a normal basis - I can't stand it for just one hour! I finally got everything together, which turned out just to be my purse and William's bottles so really wasn't all that much, got the pets fed, the tree watered, Layla went potty and William was up and dressed - out the door we go.

Then, on the way to Goddard I decided I'd multitask and make a phone call. SO glad that I did. I called the house cleaners to see when they'd be coming again as I knew it was soon only to find out I was on the schedule for today. Today? But I didn't know! She told me it was on my November invoice, but I just assumed that was all NOVEMBER info so I didn't look for a future cleaning date. So, I'm flustered on the phone trying to give instructions...layla is inside rather than in the garage, the alarm is set for no-entry allowed so it would immediately go off and only allow 30 seconds to disarm, there was a row of loads of laundry to be washed, crafts spread out across my craft table...all around just not ready for a house cleaner. So, the owner was very kind and emailed all of my notes to the woman who would be cleaning the house. The all around kicker here - I didn't have to take any of that trash out to begin with! Slightly frustrating. But I got William to Goddard, got myself to starbucks, got to talk to my husband on our 3rd anniversary - things were calming down.

UNTIL...Austin called me 5 times in a row while I was away from my desk to let me know that the alarm company had called him and they were dispatching the police to our house. Holy mother of everything. I run down to my trailblazer, pull out of my parking spot to go 95mph all the way home, then my phone rings again. It was the owner of the company saying she had spoken to the police, provided her info and the company info, explained the situation and because they had a house key and a registered business the police officer left with his notes. So, I didn't have to go back home.

At this point, that starbucks was a big mistake (big. HUGE. I have to go shopping now). Big mistake because my heart is just racing. The only thing that could get me back to a normal level right now would be a margarita, or maybe some prozac :) And by how scatterbrained this blog is, you can tell I never got that rita.

One very long, boring, pointless story later - this is not my favorite anniversary. But, it is just a day. It's one day to celebrate a full year - and when I look back on the last year, I don't even remember my morning today. I remember how wonderful the year was. Obviously the highlight of our third year of marriage was William's birth but that isn't the only highlight. We've had lots of wonderful memories shared between the 2 of us - special outings, special conversations, and some growth in our relationship. And hey - we spent almost the ENTIRE third year together, so that's something isn't it? :)

I don't know what my life would be like today if I hadn't written Austin that email 6 years ago. I don't know where I'd live, what I'd do, or what my daily-grind would be like. I often wonder what turns my life would have taken, but when I wonder I am always excessively thankful that my life didn't take those turns. I don't know what they would have been, and I don't need to know. As I've said plenty of times before, Austin is the perfect complement to me and together we made one fantastic baby. This year was probably my favorite of the 3, and although I know next year may be the hardest I still look forward to reflecting upon it when we get to this day. Even the hardest of times are worth it because we are so blessed to have each other.

Separation is to love as wind is to fire. If the fire is weak the wind puts it out but if the fire is strong the wind will intensify it.
Here's to a strong year to come.
Happy Anniversary Austin. We'll celebrate - some day.

No comments:

Post a Comment