R&R

Rest and relaxation.

Its what the army offers to soldiers deployed for 9 months or longer. 2 weeks of rest and relaxation.

R&R used to be an optional use of your own accrued leave (vacation time). However, a lot of soldiers were opting out of it in order to save their time for their return home. The department of defense, with former secretary gates' wisdom, determined that it was a great morale booster and an important time for soldiers to take a breather and reconnect with families. So, the army now gives 2 free weeks off. Take it or leave it. You can't save it for later, so the theory and hope is that more soldiers will use it.

The cynic in me wants to pause and point out that 2 'free' weeks isn't quite a gift. After 9 months of working 7 days/week I'd say you are owed 9 months worth of weekends at least, which is roughly 72 days. But I'll just smile and take the 14.

It is often debated whether r&r helps or makes it harder because, while it provides a break, it demands another goodbye. Oftentimes the second goodbye is harder, and the remaining time can be more excruciating.

Austin and I began our relationship while he was deployed the first time, so the first time we sealed it with a kiss was on r&r. I usually think of that as the true beginning of our relationship. I hadn't said an emotional goodbye before, so for me I just had one. And it was just for 3 months.

His second deployment turned out to be about 8 months so it didn't warrant any vacation time. Meaning, again, I only said goodbye once.

So, very soon I will know first hand what that second goodbye is like. I can't imagine the short tease of 2 weeks followed by another gut wrenching trip to the airport. I can't imagine finally letting myself rest fully, without worry, only to have to gear up as Rosie one more time. I don't know what it will be like to just barely be used to having him home only to have to let him go again. A lot of people say it just isn't worth the pain for such a short break.

But for me that r&r has meant much more than 2 weeks. It begins 3 weeks from today yet already I am as giddy as a school girl. I'm bouncing in my seat. I'm restless at night, and my dreams are filled with trips to DIA to see Austin's face. So for me, the anticipation and excitement have far exceeded the short 14 days. And right now I'm so elated that it's hard to even imagine being sad.

I'm certain the second goodbye is harder and is more of a blow to morale than the first one. But then I remember ol' Rosie. She didn't get r&r. She didn't get email or skype or even phone calls. And her duty lasted much longer than 9 months.

So I'll take a second goodbye gladly. I'll handle it like a champ if it means that for 5 weeks in the middle of this journey I'm filled with happiness and joy. It's a trade I'm willing to make.

Now, to figure out how to not lose my mind in the next 21 days :)

- manda