William Wednesday

It's too bad I just recently wrote about how big William's heart is, because this weekend he made mine explode with how much he loves.

Sunday I told him that Monday was going to be a very special day because it was mommy and dada's anniversary. He asked what an anniversary was, so I explained it, and I told him that 7 years ago we got married so it was our 7th anniversary. He asked, "Can I come to the anniversary?" I told him that he absolutely could come, but it was just going to be at our house and we weren't going very much to celebrate until January.

"So I can be married to you???"

Melt my heart sweet one. Yes, you can be married to me.

"So I can be a part of you and dada's special day?"

"Well, it wouldn't be me and dada's day if it didn't include you."

So, Monday morning after I got breakfast ready I went to wake him up. He is usually not much for mornings and waking him up takes awhile. I rubbed his back and said, "William I made a special anniversary breakfast" - that's all it took. He popped out of bed and said "oh! yeah! that's today!" He and Austin quickly got dressed so we could all eat breakfast together. 

William was really happy until I told him we had to get ready to go to school and work. He started crying because he "wanted to stay home and not miss the anniversary!" I told him we wouldn't be missing anything and we'd have a special dinner to celebrate too, so he eventually got over it.

Every night at dinner after we say our prayer we say what our favorite part of the day was. We went around the table and William's response was, "Being a part of your anniversary and being married to you AND to dada" That boy loves us so much, and he loves to talk about all of our family and friends all over the country who he loves and wants to see. I'm always amazed at how connected he feels to people he rarely sees. My heart just overflows with how strong his love is.

7 Years

In movies you always hear people say 'no one tells you it'll be this hard' -- but honestly, and I've written about it in other areas before, they do. They tell you about college, about parenthood, about life - and they certainly tell you about marriage. People do tell you. But when you're 23 and in love you think all of those trials and struggles will never come to YOUR marriage. Yours will be different.

And you know what? It is. They all are. Each marriage is unique to the 2 people in the union and the marriages that last aren't the ones made of the best people necessarily. They aren't the ones where the couple is extra compatible or never faced hardships or never lost that 'loving feeling'. We have no clue what happens in a marriage, and it's not for us to know. All I know is that the marriages that last are the ones that are true. True to each other and true to themselves.

In church yesterday our pastor made a comparison between the relationship between God and Jesus and a marriage between husband and wife. Jesus said to doubt him or not accept him is to reject the Father because they are one in the same, and it is (or should be) true in marriage too. To dishonor ones spouse is to dishonor that person too, because the two became one. The unity between a husband and wife is one you can't understand without living it and truly absorbing it, and when a husband and wife are in that true union you can't love one without loving the other.

One of the most perilous things I've seen happen in other relationships has been to watch families and friends get in the way of that unity. While they may mean well, and families most often do, to build a wedge or create party lines between a husband and wife is to stand in the way of that oneness. I feel so fortunate that not only have we had a great supporting cast who has loved us and rooted for us all along, no matter how far we've moved away, but in our circumstances we have had no choice but to stand together, on our own, and be one. We have had to forge our own path and in so doing we have found people who love and support us both. Not that it would have gone any differently had we never moved off on our own, it's just one of the benefits I've seen to the depth of our marriage. And one of the greatest assets in truly loving each other more today than we did 7 years ago. 

Here's to 7 more. And 7 more after that. And another 7 when we get there. 

God Doesn't Make Mistakes

I'm starting this on Sunday (Nov 2) just as a reference to how long it may take before I finish it. I don't usually draft like that - it's usually a 15-30 minute quick thing, just write what I think and be done with it. But this one is just a little different.

I went back and forth on what I'd title this, once I knew I'd eventually write it. My first thought was 'well that wasn't supposed to happen' and next was 'oops'. Shortly after I began brainstorming the post another little 'well that wasnt supposed to happen' happened and then I realized that's just selling God short. Just because I didn't intend for something to happen doesn't mean it wasn't supposed to happen - God doesn't make mistakes. And then I realized that was a far better choice. So, are we ready now?

First, I'll start with our second 'mistake'. Austin and I have been thinking about and praying for our next army move for quite awhile. We thought we had a few ideas of what would be best overall considering our immediate family,our extended family, Austin's career and my career, and how we can serve God and his church. Those are a lot of factors to layer into one decision and we thought we had some good, solid ideas. We had narrowed it to 2 things: first, Austin was going to apply to get into a specialized intelligence group which would give us stability in our location for the duration of his time. If that didn't work out, we had 3 locations he was going to try and arrange. The top one on our list had something like 80 open spots for Austin's rank for 2015, so it seemed almost like a perfect shoe in as our back up plan. The group he applied for published an article, shortly after he submitted his application, saying they were accepting few, if any, people for 2015, and after that article came out he got an email letting him know he wasn't going to be sent further in the application process. Disappointed, but we didn't skip a beat and he emailed his branch manager about his next move, explained what he's done in his career and what he'd like to do. He's been on 3 deployments and never once been granted his assignment of choice, so I guess it seemed fair to me (not at all biased) for someone to grant him one now - especially with all the open slots.

A little army lesson for ya: Each job assignment in the army has a branch manager which is just a guy sitting at a desk whose sole job for 3 years is to assign duty stations. Or at least that's how I understand it. I don't know this, but I'd imagine he answers phone calls and emails nonstop from disgruntled soldiers wanting their orders changed or wanting special treatment. He probably hates his job, and he's probably equally hated by the people he assigns. He hears all about how much people hate their assignments and want them changed and whining like babies - sometims I wonder if he purposely doesn't grant requests just to spite people. Anyway. Point of that rant is - the response Austin got to his list of ideal locations and his plea for his preferences was 'spots available to you are in fort Lewis, fort Bragg, or fort hood.' No discussion, no negotiation, and no consideration of the spots we wanted. Didn't even acknowledge it had been written. 

Fort Lewis is in Washington state and I've heard fantastic things about the base and most units there. Not to mention it's pretty and in an area of our country I've never travelled. But, it's rumored that the job available to him there involves a majority of time being spent away from home. So that was out. And then we started thinking about the 2 remaining options. Career-wise Austin thought fort Bragg (in North Carolina) may be a better choice and if he'd chosen it I would have been fine with his decision. It's no secret that while I'm proud of my Texas roots I'm not dying to get back to the heat. But the more we talked, the more Texas made a lot of sense. And by the end of the day I found myself in the most ironic twist of my life: I was actually verbally PREFERRING to move to Texas. And not just Texas...KILLEEN Texas. Not even a glamorous or enticing spot. For anyone who knew me in my "I want to explore north of here" days, this is probably just as shocking to you as it was to me.

I spent years dreaming of moving away and exploring a new location, and I was proud of our time spent out on our own. We love going back for vacations and visits, but I was pretty rock solid that I had no desire to live in the state of Texas again...at least not for another decade. Again, nothing against the place or the people - we absolutely love both - I just didn't see myself wanting to go back. As glamorous as our visits back can be sometimes, the truth is we've been gone a long time and not only have we changed in that time but so have the people we left behind. Going "back" isn't as simple as it sounds. At any other point in the last 9 years I think if Id heard the possibility of going to fort hood I may have gone back kicking and screaming. That just wasn't supposed to happen! That wasn't in our plans.

And yet, when it was all lined up and all things considered, I can honestly say I do not think there's anywhere (ok...maaaaaaybe Denver....) Id rather be. Seriously. Killeen Texas is, in this season of my life, the most perfect location. God knew that, and God knew neither Austin or I would ever have even mentally considered it if the scenario didn't play out how it did. So while I thought that wasn't supposed to happen, God doesn't make mistakes. He may not always give us what we want, but He always gives us what we need.

No, God doesn't always give us what we want, that's for sure. I wanted charles 18 months before I got him, but I (sometimes weakly) trusted that God had a perfect time for that. He would grant us the opportunity to raise another child when He decided it needed to happen, and of course He did. Charles lights up my life and there isn't a day when I don't look at him at least once and think 'God works perfectly in His time' as I thank Him for the gift. But, the first few months were a pretty big adjustment. Going from one kid to two is a huge change, and going from having a very independent kid back to a baby who needs something (all. The. Time.) is also a huge change. We knew it'd turn our world upside down and yet we weren't quite prepared. Or maybe we were as prepared as we could be, who knows. What I do know is we didn't feel settled into a normal life until charles was about 2.5 months old. All of a sudden our family felt normal. Our routine made sense. Things were back in order and we were loving living as a family of 4. Conversations about being done having kids circulated on occasion and though we hadn't made any concrete decisions to close that door, we weren't very convinced our one-time dream of a large family was going to be best. If anything, we did determine a bigger age gap is better than we had originally thought and from the looks of it I would have guessed charles would turn 3 before I'd potentially give birth again.

But God doesn't always give us what we want.

Just as God had a perfect time for Charles Archer, and just as his conception and birth was miraculous and from Him, God also had a perfect time for Charles to become a big brother and we are just sitting in the back seat while God leads us. In late September I began to notice little things that made me think "hmmmmmm" and when I came up 3 days late in my cycle (something that I wouldn't have batted an eye at 2 years ago) I was certain of the cause. As insane as it seemed in my head, I just knew...and I was right. $17, two tests, and a thousand tears later I called Austin to tell him we were having another baby.

I've known for just about 2 months now(ok 3 since it's now a month past when I started writing...) as I'm just about 3 (ok almost 4) months along, and I still don't quite have my head wrapped around the reality. A baby. Two babies. Two in diapers. Two under two. Two dependent, precious, loving, needy creatures at the same time. While I grieved a lot over the loss of Charles being my little baby for as long as I would have liked, and while I grieved a lot over the loss of the wine I had been reacquainting myself with, I am almost to the point of being excited for our upcoming bundle of joy. And now a month later I can actually say I am anxiously excited.

It won't be easy. I would imagine our transition into life as a family of 5 will be even harder than life as a family of 4. But that's part of the beauty of God's plans versus ours. He knew He had a third baby in His plans and He knew moving back to Texas would be the easiest way for us to adjust to that life. The move itself will be hard - no way around that. Moving 3 kids and 2 pets almost 2,000 miles across the country 2 weeks after a c-section in the HEAT OF THE SUMMER while preparing for kindergarten and a huge adjustment in our daily lifestyle won't be a piece of cake...and there's no way around that. But we are both so confident and at peace about the fact that this is God's most perfect plan for the Wallis family of 5 in 2015. And we are excited to get started!

So get ready for more lapses in writing and then random posts about moving struggles, grieving our goodbyes here, and heart wrenching comments from William like 'I wish we could live in this house forever'. It's all coming. 6 months is such a short time to uproot everything and start over, and yet it's such a long long time to have to slowly rip off a bandaid. Prayers for all of us are always welcome, and especially in this time of change. 

But I can fall asleep each night knowing that even though God doesn't always give us what we want...even though  William can't live in this house forever...God will always give us what we need. He doesn't make mistakes.

William's Big Heart

I wanted to write this yesterday but I had 2 doctors appointments and a lot going on, so the day got away from me. But I can't skip it! His heart is just too big.

William is a passionate boy. Passionate about his favorite toys at the time, passionate about his favorite people, passionate when he's angry, and most of all he's passionate about his baby brother. Other than the first time he saw Austin hold Charles at the hospital, he's never once been jealous or seem threatened by Charles - he adores him beyond words and loves nothing in this world more.

The monday before thanksgiving Charles had his 6 month doctor appointment. (He's doing great, btw) 6 month appointments come with vaccines which are never fun for parents. But, they're apparently not fun for loving and protective big brothers either. William wanted to go to the appointment as he never wants to miss out on something related to Charles but he didn't know what he was in for. As the nurse gave Charles his shots and Charles began to cry William instantly started sobbing. He didn't whimper, he didn't whine, and it didn't take time for him to process his emotions. Tears just instantly streamed down his face and the rest of the day he was talking about how much he hated Charles's shots!

His passion goes beyond empathy though. When we were at disneyland at one point all of the other adults went on a roller coaster too fast/dangerous for me or william, so we sat out and played carnival type games. Charles was awake in his stroller happy as could be as I loaded up a game card with $20 for william to play. He played one game twice and then settled in on the game where you aim a water squirter at a target and whoever raises their character first (by having the most accurate aim) wins. William played that game 9 times. He won when it was a game against just me, but the prize was pretty small because it needed more players. We waited for more kids to come and then he played more. On the last time he FINALLY won the 'big' mickey (about 11 inches) and he was so excited. He beamed with pride as the lady handed him his prize. Then, as we turned to leave he instantly lunged the mickey in Charles's face and proudly said 'Charles look what I won you! It's a Mickey! Do you love it??'

And love it he did. He chewed on the ears and held the Mickey in his stroller and william had a boost of pride every time he saw his baby brother playing with the special prize.

On our last night william waited up in bed for Yaya. Papa and oh gosh to come say goodnight and goodbye, and they told me as they said bye he started crying. He loves our time with family and hates hates hates his goodbyes.

While wrangling his emotions can be a tiring task, I wouldn't change it for the world. That boy has a heart as big as an elephant and to see the love when it pours out makes this mama very, very proud.

(Charles just woke up from a deep sleep and was very, very confused...but william loves to climb in his crib and kiss him good morning!)

Best condo ever!

I'll back up a little bit. Back in the spring I pitched the thought to my mom that it may be fun to have a family vacation somewhere other than Houston, perhaps in Disneyland. Sure - it was self serving; I love disney and I was tired of spending more than $2,000 to fly to houston for the holidays. Last year we went for thanksgiving and because our flying days tend to be the peak days we spent $2,400. While we love visiting family and friends, we were growing weary of breaking the bank year after year to go the same place. We wanted a vacation! Plus, we knew the likelihood that this would be the last chance for a holiday at disneyland and it all seemed to make sense in my head. But, I didn't want to do it if it meant we wouldn't be with extended family so I threw out the idea and held my breath for the response.

Yaya loved the idea!

I had offered for us to pay for lodging as a thank-you for everyone traveling our direction and to somewhat even-out the expense. I hoped everyone could come but Brandon & family weren't going to be able to so it was just us, Yaya & papa, and oh gosh. So once our final number was settled I set out to find a place to stay. We could either rent 2 hotel rooms, at $300 per night minimum, or look for a house. So, www.vrbo.com became my friend and I searched and searched all of the houses in anaheim within walking distance to the parks.

I found the perfect condo! I don't know if EVERYONE was as in love as I was, but I couldn't have been more pleased. The condo was decorated adorably, the kitchen was as good as you could ask for in a rental, and the space was perfect. I wish I had taken more pictures but here's what I have:

Master bedroom headboard which got my brainstorming my next project on Austin's to do list.

Our super cool shower 

The 'kids' room (william on top bunk,

Oh gosh on bottom) The owner left little presents on the bed for william and charles and the room was STOCKED with kids toys. We didn't go to the parks on our first day but william was PLENTY entertained with the buckets of toys to make a mess with.

The second upstairs bathroom.

Downstairs had a cute half bath decorated with Ursula from little mermaid, a kitchen with anything you'd need to cook a meal, the cutest farm sink (again...got me dreaming of our next house...) and a pullout sofa for Yaya and papa. It wasn't huge but I never felt cramped and thought we had plenty of space. They even had a cute little cradle that charles LOVED sleeping in.

For just about $300 per night we all got to stay in the same place, saved a ton of money by buying groceries and cooking at the house, and had the best evening retreat after busy days at the park. 

I don't make $ on this little blog (clearly!!!) and Britta Wagner has no idea I'm writing about the condo, I just loved it so much and couldn't help it. If you're ever planning a trip to anaheim I HIGHLY recommend looking up Mickey's Magical Getaways (they own 3) on www.vrbo.com -- you won't regret it!

Boogey Woogey Boy

 We are 3 hours into a 6 (or 8) hour drive home from disneyland and I have so much to say I figured I may as well start now. What better use of a miserable 15mph commute through LA??

(Have I mentioned I hate big cities??)

We had such a great time on our trip! From the awesome condo we rented to time with family and everything in between it was such a great trip...even charles loved it!!!

Charles was SUCH a happy little trooper. Part of me felt bad that he was being carted along on William's vacation but he never knew it was catered to anyone but himself. He loved it! He especially loved his late night partying.

Wednesday night after we had gone back to our condo for some delicious gumbo courtesy of Oh Gosh we headed back to the park for World of Color, an LED water show. It is one of my favorite parts of disneyland and I was so excited to see the christmas rendition. Last time we went william fell asleep about 2 minutes into the show so mostly I was hoping he would make it through the entire thing this time. Little did I know it's be the highlight of Charles's week!

We had gotten him to sleep before we left the condo which was at his normal bedtime but he woke up somewhere along the way back to the park. At first I was trying everything in my bag of tricks to get him back to sleep but then I just accepted he was up for a little bit. We had to sit for half an hour waiting for the show to start and he didn't mind at all!

He just relaxed in oh gosh's lap the entire time until we stood up. Then he was GLUED to the show!

Brian held him the whole time and said he never cared which way he was facing as long as he could see part of the show.

After the show ended we got both boys buckled into the stroller and william fell asleep literally 20 seconds after he laid down.

Charles, however, wasn't done partying! He kicked his little frog-covered feet te entire way home, singing and talking away. He caught quite a few stares and smiles from people as we walked by - his little feet looked so cute kicking around!

Last night we rounded out our trip in the biggest crowd I think I've ever seen in my life. I got charles to sleep around 6:00 and thought he'd be out for awhile since he hadn't slept much that day, but he had other plans and woke up around 7:00. William wanted to ride one last ride with mommy at 7:30 before we called it a day so everyone else relaxed at an outdoor eating area listening to a Beatles cover band. Once again oh gosh held charles and once again he danced the night away with his feet, kicking and singing to the music. When William and I got back from our spaceship ride at 8:00 I was just sure if see charles either asleep in the stroller or crying in someone's arms. Nope! I just saw him boogeying away.

My little boogey woogey boy!

Stay tuned for more on the rest of the trip!

God Doesn't Make Mistakes

I'm starting this on Sunday (Nov 2) just as a reference to how long it may take before I finish it. I don't usually draft like that - it's usually a 15-30 minute quick thing, just write what I think and be done with it. But this one is just a little different.

I went back and forth on what I'd title this, once I knew I'd eventually write it. My first thought was 'well that wasn't supposed to happen' and next was 'oops'. Shortly after I began brainstorming the post another little 'well that wasnt supposed to happen' happened and then I realized that's just selling God short. Just because I didn't intend for something to happen doesn't mean it wasn't supposed to happen - God doesn't make mistakes. And then I realized that was a far better choice. So, are we ready now?

First, I'll start with our second 'mistake'. Austin and I have been thinking about and praying for our next army move for quite awhile. We thought we had a few ideas of what would be best overall considering our immediate family,our extended family, Austin's career and my career, and how we can serve God and his church. Those are a lot of factors to layer into one decision and we thought we had some good, solid ideas. We had narrowed it to 2 things: first, Austin was going to apply to get into a specialized intelligence group which would give us stability in our location for the duration of his time. If that didn't work out, we had 3 locations he was going to try and arrange. The top one on our list had something like 80 open spots for Austin's rank for 2015, so it seemed almost like a perfect shoe in as our back up plan. The group he applied for published an article, shortly after he submitted his application, saying they were accepting few, if any, people for 2015, and after that article came out he got an email letting him know he wasn't going to be sent further in the application process. Disappointed, but we didn't skip a beat and he emailed his branch manager about his next move, explained what he's done in his career and what he'd like to do. He's been on 3 deployments and never once been granted his assignment of choice, so I guess it seemed fair to me (not at all biased) for someone to grant him one now - especially with all the open slots.

A little army lesson for ya: Each job assignment in the army has a branch manager which is just a guy sitting at a desk whose sole job for 3 years is to assign duty stations. Or at least that's how I understand it. I don't know this, but I'd imagine he answers phone calls and emails nonstop from disgruntled soldiers wanting their orders changed or wanting special treatment. He probably hates his job, and he's probably equally hated by the people he assigns. He hears all about how much people hate their assignments and want them changed and whining like babies - sometims I wonder if he purposely doesn't grant requests just to spite people. Anyway. Point of that rant is - the response Austin got to his list of ideal locations and his plea for his preferences was 'spots available to you are in fort Lewis, fort Bragg, or fort hood.' No discussion, no negotiation, and no consideration of the spots we wanted. Didn't even acknowledge it had been written. 

Fort Lewis is in Washington state and I've heard fantastic things about the base and most units there. Not to mention it's pretty and in an area of our country I've never travelled. But, it's rumored that the job available to him there involves a majority of time being spent away from home. So that was out. And then we started thinking about the 2 remaining options. Career-wise Austin thought fort Bragg (in North Carolina) may be a better choice and if he'd chosen it I would have been fine with his decision. It's no secret that while I'm proud of my Texas roots I'm not dying to get back to the heat. But the more we talked, the more Texas made a lot of sense. And by the end of the day I found myself in the most ironic twist of my life: I was actually verbally PREFERRING to move to Texas. And not just Texas...KILLEEN Texas. Not even a glamorous or enticing spot. For anyone who knew me in my "I want to explore north of here" days, this is probably just as shocking to you as it was to me.

I spent years dreaming of moving away and exploring a new location, and I was proud of our time spent out on our own. We love going back for vacations and visits, but I was pretty rock solid that I had no desire to live in the state of Texas again...at least not for another decade. Again, nothing against the place or the people - we absolutely love both - I just didn't see myself wanting to go back. As glamorous as our visits back can be sometimes, the truth is we've been gone a long time and not only have we changed in that time but so have the people we left behind. Going "back" isn't as simple as it sounds. At any other point in the last 9 years I think if Id heard the possibility of going to fort hood I may have gone back kicking and screaming. That just wasn't supposed to happen! That wasn't in our plans.

And yet, when it was all lined up and all things considered, I can honestly say I do not think there's anywhere (ok...maaaaaaybe Denver....) Id rather be. Seriously. Killeen Texas is, in this season of my life, the most perfect location. God knew that, and God knew neither Austin or I would ever have even mentally considered it if the scenario didn't play out how it did. So while I thought that wasn't supposed to happen, God doesn't make mistakes. He may not always give us what we want, but He always gives us what we need.

No, God doesn't always give us what we want, that's for sure. I wanted charles 18 months before I got him, but I (sometimes weakly) trusted that God had a perfect time for that. He would grant us the opportunity to raise another child when He decided it needed to happen, and of course He did. Charles lights up my life and there isn't a day when I don't look at him at least once and think 'God works perfectly in His time' as I thank Him for the gift. But, the first few months were a pretty big adjustment. Going from one kid to two is a huge change, and going from having a very independent kid back to a baby who needs something (all. The. Time.) is also a huge change. We knew it'd turn our world upside down and yet we weren't quite prepared. Or maybe we were as prepared as we could be, who knows. What I do know is we didn't feel settled into a normal life until charles was about 2.5 months old. All of a sudden our family felt normal. Our routine made sense. Things were back in order and we were loving living as a family of 4. Conversations about being done having kids circulated on occasion and though we hadn't made any concrete decisions to close that door, we weren't very convinced our one-time dream of a large family was going to be best. If anything, we did determine a bigger age gap is better than we had originally thought and from the looks of it I would have guessed charles would turn 3 before I'd potentially give birth again.

But God doesn't always give us what we want.

Just as God had a perfect time for Charles Archer, and just as his conception and birth was miraculous and from Him, God also had a perfect time for Charles to become a big brother and we are just sitting in the back seat while God leads us. In late September I began to notice little things that made me think "hmmmmmm" and when I came up 3 days late in my cycle (something that I wouldn't have batted an eye at 2 years ago) I was certain of the cause. As insane as it seemed in my head, I just knew...and I was right. $17, two tests, and a thousand tears later I called Austin to tell him we were having another baby.

I've known for just about 2 months now(ok 3 since it's now a month past when I started writing...) as I'm just about 3 (ok almost 4) months along, and I still don't quite have my head wrapped around the reality. A baby. Two babies. Two in diapers. Two under two. Two dependent, precious, loving, needy creatures at the same time. While I grieved a lot over the loss of Charles being my little baby for as long as I would have liked, and while I grieved a lot over the loss of the wine I had been reacquainting myself with, I am almost to the point of being excited for our upcoming bundle of joy. And now a month later I can actually say I am anxiously excited.

It won't be easy. I would imagine our transition into life as a family of 5 will be even harder than life as a family of 4. But that's part of the beauty of God's plans versus ours. He knew He had a third baby in His plans and He knew moving back to Texas would be the easiest way for us to adjust to that life. The move itself will be hard - no way around that. Moving 3 kids and 2 pets almost 2,000 miles across the country 2 weeks after a c-section in the HEAT OF THE SUMMER while preparing for kindergarten and a huge adjustment in our daily lifestyle won't be a piece of cake...and there's no way around that. But we are both so confident and at peace about the fact that this is God's most perfect plan for the Wallis family of 5 in 2015. And we are excited to get started!

So get ready for more lapses in writing and then random posts about moving struggles, grieving our goodbyes here, and heart wrenching comments from William like 'I wish we could live in this house forever'. It's all coming. 6 months is such a short time to uproot everything and start over, and yet it's such a long long time to have to slowly rip off a bandaid. Prayers for all of us are always welcome, and especially in this time of change. 

But I can fall asleep each night knowing that even though God doesn't always give us what we want...even though  William can't live in this house forever...God will always give us what we need. He doesn't make mistakes.

William Wednesday: A Sheriff's Race

Forgive me if you already know this story, I just love it too much not to document it. I've been wanting to post it for the past few Wednesdays but I wanted to have a picture of William's room first, and I mostly think of it at night time when his lights are off. Well, it's still night time and his lights are still off but I'm tired of postponing the writing. So, I'm just hoping one of these days I'll take a picture in the day time and update this poor little neglected blog of mine.

Side note, if you think the blog is neglected, you should feel real sympathy for our four legged friends. Layla? Nancy? Do you still live here???

Back in the spring one day I was driving William to target as he started in with his 4 year old daily dose of questions. They have a quota, you know, and William is nothing if not goal oriented. By golly, he's going to meet or beat that quota! So as I was trying to rapid fire answers as quickly as the questions were coming William paused for a minute and then asked, "mommy, what does that green sign say?"

At this point William was contemplating the idea of reading. He was fascinated by the make-up of words and phonetic sounds but he wasn't reading anything beyond 3 letter sight words. However, he loved to learn what things said and I'm sure it played into him teaching himself to read.

"It says, Steve Bernal, Monterey County Sheriff" I explained. Now, I wasn't quite sure how to say Mr. Bernal's name and I wasn't all that interested in the sheriff's race myself, so to make it a little more fun I said his name in a somewhat silly pronunciation. "Steeeeeeve Bernawwwwwwl" is how I'd spell it.

"who is Steeeeeeve Bernawwwwwwl? Why does he have a sign?"
"Well, he is running for Sheriff so he's putting signs up so that people will want him to win. See the black sign? That one says Fred Garcia. He is also running"
"oh. I like Steeeeeeve Bernawwwwwl. He runs like you!" he said as he reminisced my glory days of my half marathon. (one day....one day i'll run again....) 

And thus began a 6-8 month love interest between William and the Sheriff's race. There were 4 candidates and William was very familiar with each of their signs: Fred Garcia, the incumbent Scott Miller, Steve Bernal, and someone who clearly didn't win as I don't remember his name. When friends would ask William who he thought would win he'd respond by saying, "Steve Bernal is going to win because he runs faster than Fred Garcia". I loved the logic too much to correct it for awhile. Gotta let him stay little as long as I can.

I didn't follow the election or the process much at first, so when all of the signs disappeared in May I just assumed someone had won...and I didn't quite care who. Well, lo and behold a couple of months ago signs started popping back up. But this time, there were only two candidates: Steve Bernal and Scott Miller. You can't even Imagine William's excitement when he started to see the signs reappearing all over town. I soon learned that the primaries were in the spring and the top 2 candidates were running and would be voted upon in the November elections.

William was a fence sitter and he flip flopped between who he wanted to win. Generally he'd change his mind once Austin or I decided we agreed with him, and he loved to tell us he hoped "our" favorite lost to his new favorite - OH the competition! It was a heated race here in the Wallis house. And it was about to get even better.

One day I was walking down the hallway at work when I noticed 2 Steve Bernal yard signs sitting outside the office of one of our partners. My friend, who had been educated by William on his interest in the race, told me I needed to find out if the signs were free for the taking. Well, turns out one of our clients is related to Steve and was passing out yard signs for his campaign. Now, I didn't know Steve, and I certainly didn't know what he stood for. But I did know one thing: I needed one of his signs.

SO! Imagine William's excitement one day when I brought home a STEVE BERNAL YARD SIGN!!!! MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY, THE DAY COULD NOT HAVE BEEN BETTER. William's instant reaction was, "WHAT?! For ME?! And guess what mommy?? It can go in my ROOM! Because I have a race room...race CARS and SHERIFF race. We can hang it on my wall!"

For the last month or two we've read books every night as Steve Bernal's campaign poster sits in our peripheral. It's quite the sight, and I don't think the sign is coming down any time soon. After what turned out to be the most heated Sheriff's race in Monterey County history (i'm not even exaggerating) and after TWO WEEKS of vote counting, they finally announced that Steve Bernal, the underdog, had in fact come from behind to overtake the incumbent much to many surprised residents.

This was William's first experience with political elections and i'd say it was a slam dunk. He loved it! For me, it was probably the most eventful and exciting election since 2000 when we heard for DAYS "THIS JUST IN: Florida has NOW been pulled back into the undecided column".

It doesn't get better than this. And, just for you, I decided to risk waking the bear and I turned on the light for a photo. Please note if my son had not inherited the opinionated gene I would have had a much better placement for the sign, but he insisted it belonged right where you see it. So here's a peak into the mommy-William designed sheriff race car room!

My men

(If you don't want s football recap just jump to the last paragraph!)

Saturday afternoon was a very stressful time in my house, particularly from about 3:30-4:00. You see, the aggies (who had a disappointing October to say the least) came out with guns blazing against one of the best teams in the country and looked to be in clear domination over the game.

The problem is, I've seen the aggies lose games when they had control for 50 of the 60 minutes, and as the game came to a close I thought that's what I'd be witnessing again. Don't doubt my allegiance or faith, but I'm a realist. We were imploding. Our offense that had been a well oiled machine couldn't move and our defense suddenly looked like it had just occurred to them, for the first time in the day, that they were facing one of the best teams in the country.

And my heart was racing.

I was holding a sleeping charles for the last 10 minutes of the game while Austin and William built legos. At some point Austin decided it wasn't in Charles's best interest for me to be watching the game anymore. I wasn't really sure why but he says it had something to do with me hopping up off the couch and stomping my feet on the ground like a child in full tantrum mode. We had just narrowly missed giving up 2 points (only ahead by 3) after 3 stupid stupid stupid play calls and I just couldn't take it! I personally thought charles was enjoying it...he spent all of last football season enduring the same treatment in my tummy, so wouldn't this just feel like old times?

But, I was asked to leave the room, and through gritted teeth I decided to respect my husband's (and heart beat's) wishes. I left the room as we punted the ball away and I went back in when I felt I could handle the remainder of the game.

2 minutes left, defense still looking scared out of their minds, and with auburn moving down the field quite nicely I sat silently on the couch. I was all out of words. And then, in the biggest break of luck I've seen in aggie football, auburn made a bonehead mistake and we capitalized - taking the ball back to close out the game with a 41-38 victory.

Heart racing, blood pumping, emotions on high I was finally able to breathe again. As I calmed my nerves William ran in, "mommy! I'm so excited! The Aggies are the football champions of...of...of THE DAY!!!"

I was filled with love and shame all at once. All of that anxiety was over one little game for one little day. But, it all worked out in the end and we are the champions. (Of the day)

How did charles manage to sleep through it all? Well, just before my temper tantrum he had decided 'oh to heck with this football game I'm just gonna focus on a new skill of my own' and just like that he learned to roll over.

See mommy? There are more vital things to focus on sometimes.

I sure love my men!!! But I'm still a big sucker for my boys in maroon and white. Gig 'em aggies!!!

Growing so fast

Charles turned 5 months old on Friday. Here are his 4 monthly pictures (don't judge a mama for being tired on month 1...just envision it yourself) 

Look at the huge transformation from month 4 (big grin) to month 5 (superman looking anywhere BUT the camera) it's been a crazy crazy growth month! Here were all of my attempts at getting his attention:

At this point I realized it wasn't worth letting him lunge off the couch and I have up. And yes - that's a baby cape on the bak of his jammies. Best baby costume EVER! Super baby!

He started solid food this weekend in honor of his 5 month birthday. Day one was not a success but ever since he's been a huge fan. Loves his solid food! As I was going to prepare him for apples sunday I put him in his chair next to his favorite person in the world...and they were both glued to the Texans game. Please, please don't judge.

Or you know what - go ahead, judge away. And yes, that's William saluting JJ Watt after a sack. He's brilliant.

Though he may be growing far too fast for me to keep up, he's still my little cuddle bug. And I looooove it.

My littlest love

A little more grace

I often forget just how powerful william's little brain is. He has so much swimming around up there and he's always thinking. I also forget sometimes all that he's been through in 4 short years and how hard his brain works to process it all. Conversations like this help to keep me a little more Aware #1 of how his mind works and #2 that sometimes he may deserve a little more grace...

William likes to talk about the prospect of moving to a new place, and more so lately because his friend Elizabeth just moved. Elizabeth and William are both incredibly bright, strong willed kids and their little friendship was so much fun to watch. They didn't have little toddler crushes on each other, they were just like best friends. And when Elizabeth moved...oh man did William cry. He didn't even want our weekly bible study to continue anymore. It was as if he said, 'without Elizabeth is it even worth it to go???' So, ever since she moved he likes to talk about moving. And, since we don't know yet when or where we will move, we have to keep it hypothetical. I personally hate the thought of change and would rather avoid it like the plague, but that's something he gets from his dada and he enjoys dreaming of the adventure. So, at dinner last night (where he behaved MUCH better than Wednesday night) we talked some.

Me: so, if you could pick ANY state to move to, which would you choose? 

(I asked this fully expecting his answer to be colorado or georgia, and he only knows of about 15 states so the possibilities were limited. But, as alway, he shocked me)

William: Arizona!

Me: really? Why ariZona?

William: because then next time when dada has to go there he won't have to leave us.

My heart fell out of my chest and got squashed on the floor. Austin hasn't gone to Arizona in 1.5 years, but it was so impactful on williams sweet heart that he doesn't ever want to do it again. Sheesh.

Then, as kids often do, he went from 100% blowing me away to being a funny, random kid in a matter of seconds. I asked what his second choice would be and he said ...

I'D LIKE TO MOVE ALL THE WAY AROUND THE WORLD TO A WHOLE OTHER COUNTRY!

Be still my (squashed) heart.

And just so you didn't think I had forgotten about my wee little one :)

A little more grace

I often forget just how powerful william's little brain is. He has so much swimming around up there and he's always thinking. I also forget sometimes all that he's been through in 4 short years and how hard his brain works to process it all. Conversations like this help to keep me a little more Aware #1 of how his mind works and #2 that sometimes he may deserve a little more grace...

William likes to talk about the prospect of moving to a new place, and more so lately because his friend Elizabeth just moved. Elizabeth and William are both incredibly bright, strong willed kids and their little friendship was so much fun to watch. They didn't have little toddler crushes on each other, they were just like best friends. And when Elizabeth moved...oh man did William cry. He didn't even want our weekly bible study to continue anymore. It was as if he said, 'without Elizabeth is it even worth it to go???' So, ever since she moved he likes to talk about moving. And, since we don't know yet when or where we will move, we have to keep it hypothetical. I personally hate the thought of change and would rather avoid it like the plague, but that's something he gets from his dada and he enjoys dreaming of the adventure. So, at dinner last night (where he behaved MUCH better than Wednesday night) we talked some.

Me: so, if you could pick ANY state to move to, which would you choose? 

(I asked this fully expecting his answer to be colorado or georgia, and he only knows of about 15 states so the possibilities were limited. But, as alway, he shocked me)

William: Arizona!

Me: really? Why ariZona?

William: because then next time when dada has to go there he won't have to leave us.

My heart fell out of my chest and got squashed on the floor. Austin hasn't gone to Arizona in 1.5 years, but it was so impactful on williams sweet heart that he doesn't ever want to do it again. Sheesh.

Then, as kids often do, he went from 100% blowing me away to being a funny, random kid in a matter of seconds. I asked what his second choice would be and he said ...

I'D LIKE TO MOVE ALL THE WAY AROUND THE WORLD TO A WHOLE OTHER COUNTRY!

Be still my (squashed) heart.

And just so you didn't think I had forgotten about my wee little one :)

Williamisms

William had a really rough night last night and a fairly rough morning today...which makes me kind of forget to focus on the fun and cute parts of him at 4 years 8 months old.

So - I figured I'd take a quick minute to jot them down! A few Williamisms for ya:

I only like one kind of pepper. Peppermint.

I only like one kind of corn. Candy corn.

My baby brother has such a good big brother!

(This next one came as I was trying to teach him that it doesn't matter if you win or lose, and clearly I need to relearn that lesson after he made his point)

Yeah, it doesn't matter. Just like the Texans! But JJ Watt never loses.

And this one isn't a phrase or verbal ism, just an action that made me smile and fume all at once:

 I took his blankies away last night as a punishment. (I said he had a rough evening - I wasn't playing around) This morning I was going to wake up the boys and saw his door was open. I asked Austin if he'd already gone in there and he said 'no, is his door open?' I went in there, worried he may have wandered downstairs or something, and found him curled up with 3 blankies. The little turkey woke up, left his room, went into our hall closet where his blankies are (not for much longer) stored and took 3 back to bed. When I woke him up I reminded him that I took his blankies away and he shouldn't have done that. He looked at me and said 'yeah but you didn't take THESE blankies'

Damn. If you wonder why I'm MIA half the time, it's cause I'm busy trying to keep up with that.

But some days we have good days :)

I Lost Someone

I lost someone, but it’s hard to know when. She passed away on October 7, but a large part of me lost her a long time ago. It’s hard to process a loss or grieve a death when you already somewhat grieved the loss of the relationship. Cancer took another life from me, and yet I feel like it took something that wasn’t mine any more anyway. How do you grieve someone you didn’t have? Why can life, and subsequently death, be so convoluted?

I don’t know how to process a loss in this way but I desire to have feelings over it. So far, I just haven’t had much. In my defense, I have had plenty of other things clouding my mind and my time too, but I haven’t felt in the way I’d like to. I desire to be hurt. I desire to grieve. How odd is that? I’ve grieved the loss of my dad for nearly 2 decades now, and I’ve hated every minute – and yet I desire to grieve? Yes, I do.

I’ve tried to analyze why I feel (or don’t feel) the way I do. I’ve tried to put explanations and reasoning to it. I’ve tried to explain it to people who don’t understand. I’ve just tried to make sense of it, and I’ve done so in hopes that maybe once I get to the root of that then my heart will be able to grieve. However, all of the run-around has left me in the same place. So, I’ve decided it’s time to take a new approach. In order to brew feelings I first need to cultivate my heart, so this post is my effort to do just that.

I grew up in Houston while all of my cousins and extended family lived elsewhere. On my dad’s side most of his family lived in Dallas and we made a few trips a year to see them. Family trips to Dallas were always highly anticipated and never disappointing. I grew up with the view that Dallas was a playground, so to speak, because going there always meant fun times…and it always meant shopping.

My aunt LOVED to shop. She loved to take us shopping. I remember one year when we went there for Christmas and my mom nearly scolded my brothers and I before we piled in my aunt’s (very cool) car to head to the mall. “Tomorrow is CHRISTMAS. You do NOT take advantage of how sweet your aunt is and you do NOT ask her to buy you more things at the mall!” Message received, and … message ignored. Somewhat. We did listen to her – we didn’t ask for anything more. But, she asked us. It’s what she did! She loved to shop and she mostly loved to shop for others. We only saw her a few times a year and she took every opportunity to try to spoil us rotten.

That she did. We were rotten.

I grew up with two older brothers and, while I’d credit them for most of my strength, being the baby sister of two brothers isn’t easy. They pick on you. They tease you. They leave you out. They get in the way of boyfriends. They are, frankly, kind of a nuisance for 18 years or so. Countless times when I’d cry to my mom about how torturous it was to have 2 older brothers my mom told me that I should commiserate with my aunt; not only did she have two older brothers but she had a younger one too and she took quite the beating as far as brotherly “love” is concerned. I loved to commiserate with my aunt. I loved to whine to her about how mean my brothers were as I watched her put on her make up in front of her bedroom mirror. I loved that we shared this special bond of being “abused” sisters. But what I loved most about these conversations is how somehow they always ended in her talking about just how much she loved her brothers. I used to think she purposely did that to try and make me feel better and remind me that I loved my brothers, or maybe she did it because she was afraid to talk bad about my dad to me, but now looking back I know it’s because she just loved her brothers that much.

Laura loved her family more than life itself. She loved her nieces and nephews more than she may have loved children of her own. She would have given her life for any one of her family members, and she once gave a huge part of herself to save my dad. She loved.

Laura Loving Blair was an adored sister by her three brothers. She was her mom’s closest friend for the later part of her life. She was, I would guess, the apple of her dad’s eye. And she blessed three nieces and four nephews with the gift of a loving, doting, and caring aunt. Sometimes life takes unfortunate turns and choices are made which sever relationships. But despite anything that occurred in recent years, Laura was a huge part of my childhood and my early adult life. It is my heart’s desire that my niece and nephew will anxiously await time with me just as I did with Laura – not only as children, but as teens and as adults. It is my desire that my niece and nephew will look to me for guidance and teaching, and for lots of fun times. It’s my desire that my niece and nephew would have fond memories of a loving and doting aunt to carry with them throughout life. If I can carry that on, I will have taken her best gift to me and used it fully.

For the many long, sincere talks we had while I was living in Colorado.

For the countless weekend getaways I spent in Dallas while I was in college.

For the advice on boys and brothers and nail polish.

For the smiles and the laughter and the big, loving hugs.

For loving my dad the way she did.

For all of these things I will be thankful, and for all of these things she will be missed.

Man Crush Monday

I feel somewhat like a sellout for even using the title of this blog as a phrase. But hey, I like alliteration- what can I say. I didn't use hashtags, so I'm still a real 30 year old right??

Anyhow.

Saturday our church had the first annual pinewood derby race. I remember these races from my brother's Cub Scout days. Here's what I remember:

Boys enter their derby cars into the race, have an awesome time the entire day, and dads go home with bruised egos when they find their 'son's' car isn't the best.

While Austin did pretty well, a lot of the dads definitely had their own egos wrapped up in the success of their kids' cars. Overall it was a ton of fun and I loved seeing William and Austin interact ion that way. 

After the derby we went to a first birthday party for a friend's daughter and William proudly showed off his derby car. When someone said 'oh wow! Did you make that??' William BEAMED with pride as he said "me and my dada did!", Looking over to Austin for validation. He gets so much confidence and self assurance through his relationship with Austin and I'm more thankful every day for how involved and supportive he is of our sons.

And for that - Austin is (as always) my man crush :)

Here are some pictures of the awesome job our kids church leaders did in organizing this event.

Our kids church pastor built the track and converted our sanctuary into the derby room

Check in car #14

Passing inspection 

I think we had 22 cars in the races and each car raced 3 times (4 cars per heat) to determine the 4 finalists. William came in 3rd, 2nd, 3rd in his heats and he didn't even care!

Everyone ready for the final race - 3 girls and one boy! The boy and one of the girls were twins - no family rivalries there!

Playing after the races were done

My handsome date to the derby!

And after all of the excitement of the day (derby then party!) we had a family of 4 nap session which lasted 2 hours. We had full cooperation by all parties...not sure if that will EVER happen again, but I do know one thing...we'll need a king sized bed if it's gonna happen - or at least before charles gets too big!

William Wednesday on Thursday

Been awhile huh? While I've been juggling and driving and working and cleaning, rarely sleeping, William has been doing one thing: GROWING.

I thought bnd grew fast as a baby...and then a toddler...and then I thought he grew fat as I watched my toddler turn into a 'kid' (still feels soooo weird to call him that!) but, I was not prepared for how fast he'd grow while my head would be turned with a baby. It's like I went in for a c section and came out with a kid ready for college!

Or kindergarten. Because this time next year he will be all settled into a kindergarten routine. And I feel like he's already ready. How did this happen??

The biggest thing that has happened with William lately has been his reading. I am going to go out on a limb and guess I didn't blog about the day he read me my text message, but one day we were getting ready for our day and he said 'mommy, dada said I hope the boys are good for you this morning'

'You talked to dada?'

'No'

'Ok...when did he say that?'

'Oh he sent you a message on your phone'

Silence. He can read???? WHAT?

Since then his reading has just exploded. He doesn't like to sit and read if it's something we suggest, but randomly he just reads things. I'll over hear him reading a book to Charles, or he will ask me what street signs and billboards mean. He's trying to learn and memorize various slogans for stores and things, so he likes reading those on advertisements and commercials. The words he is able to sound out and pick up on are incredible. I don't even know what to say or think. I'd love to pat myself on the back for raising him so well, but this one is beyond any credit I may earn. He just decided he wanted to read one day I think.

He reads.

Mind = blown

But, just because he is a borderline genius doesn't mean he isn't as goofy and quirky as ever. A little bonus story for ya:

We hosted a first birthday party for some friends who were moving the week of their son's first birthday. We had 14 adults, 7 kids/toddlers and 3 babies in our cozy little house. May have been tight but I LOVED it! At the end of the party William and Elizabeth conned someone into dumping the ice chest in our back yard to play with, but Elizabeth had to leave soon after. I told William if he planned to play with the ice (great parenting as it may have been 60 degrees and overcast out) he needed to put socks and shoes on.

Somewhere in there I guess he heard 'and take your pants off'

Throwing ice and hearing it crash. In his underwear. Every little boy's dream. 

Oh the anxiety!!!

Its October which means football is in full swing...which also means my anxiety level overall is heightened by maybe 50%.

Going into the season I expected both of my teams to be average at best. I had (have) very little faith in the texans' new quarterback and I'm not so sure about the coach either. So far I've been somewhat surprised, but I'm also still pretty concerned as the hardest is still yet to come and I don't feel like we've dominated anything.

Well. Except for JJ Watt. What. A. BEAST! I think even non football fans know who he is, and he put the texans on the map. William wears his Watt jersey around here and everyone makes comments. He makes the team for sure.

The aggies, however, have continued to surprise me all season. We are an incredible and strong 5-0 right now.

Problem is, now I have hopes and dreams. And now we enter one of the toughest schedules in the nation.

Pass the Xanax and wine please. This is going to be a stressful 3 months!

A Man of Many Names

My sweet little cowboy.

That's the first thing I called Charles when he was born. I called him that before I even called him Charles. My sweet little cowboy.

William noticed how many things he has that have elephants on them and said, 'but mommy he's an elephant! He's my elephant brother'. And that name is still sticking around. William picks elephant clothes and blankets out whenever he can and we have elephant toys - it's kind of become a thing. I wish it was a more loving sounding name, but hey - elephants are smart right???

Shortly after he was born he became a little grunter. He grunts when he eats, grunts with his pacifier, grunts in his sleep. They're cute little grunts but he sure is noisy. One of William's veggie tales shows has a story with a Cebu and the Cebu makes similar noises, so Austin starting calling him Cebu. We would often say 'oh are you Cebu-ing again Charles?' It was cute.

Until I looked up what a Cebu is and saw it's a pretty ugly looking cow. Not very affectionate and even seems like a downgrade from elephant. so Austin decided he would change his name to little bull. Goes well with little bear right? Bear and bull - our boys. Kinda cute! Problem is - we are all 3 so used to calling him Cebu sometimes.

So - on any given day Charles may be called:

Archie(still standing strong)

Cebu

Bull

Elephant

Cowboy 

Scare pig

Or maaaaaybe Charles. I sure hope he learns his name one day!

My little cowboy elephant bull Cebu scare pig. Man I love that guy.

P.s. The little white things on his outfit are elephants. Go figure!

My Little Lover

William is a passionate kid. His temper tantrums can be heard from miles away. His stubbornness would be impressive if it weren't infuriating first. His interest in fully knowing and comprehending things is incredible.

He's passionate about car brands, football, cars, our pets...when he has his mind on something, he goes all in with a passion.

And that's how he is as a big brother.

I worried so much that the age difference would be a detriment in multiple ways. I worried that he'd resent Charles for taking his only child status he had basked in for 4 years. I worried he'd feel disconnected because they are just SO different. I worried he'd get bored and tired of our lives having to adjust and change to accommodate a baby who needs a lot of peace and quiet.

I worried for no reason.

To say William loves Charles would be an understatement. It'd be like saying I love peanut butter. Just doesn't quite do justice to the deep, deep passion inside. (Yes. For peanut butter)

It's like an obsession.

People always say 'I want a girl first so she can be a helpful big sister' and I may be guilty of previously assuming girls get more into baby stuff. And in a lot of ways they do! William has no interest in playing house or playing with a pretend baby or baby things. All he wants to do is take care of his little brother.

Like the day he woke up, came in my room while I was showering, grabbed a bottle of 'chest milk' I had ready in case Austin needed to feed Charles, went in his room, climbed in his crib and started feeding him. No words, no stalling, no nonsense. It happened in about 3 seconds.

Or like yesterday when I was changing Charles. William loves to throw the diapers away and be near us when we change him. Yesterday Charles was crying the entire time and William was getting increasingly antsy. Eventually he let it out and yelled, 'stop it! Stop hurting my baby brother!'

Or today: Charles had his 4 month check up (maybe I'll write about that...in a decade or so) and I told William I'd take him to school before the appointment. He said he wanted to come with us to the doctor to help Charles, so naturally my heart melted and I said ok. What I didn't expect was for Charles's shots to be harder for William than Charles!

He doesn't love to play mommy like a big sister, but I guess his passion is more like the male equivalent. He loves to protect Charles. He loves to provide whatever Charles needs. He loves to play dada.

My heart beats out of my chest.