I didn't forget! I didn't forget!

I promise I didn't forget! I started writing this on Tuesday, the day it should have been posted, then yesterday...well...I thought of finishing it. I didn't though, so here I am 2 days late sending a happy birthday wish to someone who definitely didn't deserve for it to be late. My only saving grace is knowing that she, too, was on vacation and had far better things to do than check my blog!

So, after my much needed excuses, here's to Brittany!

I still remember the first day I met Brittany. I had worked for Rowan twice before, and was returning for the summer after my freshman year of college. I thought I would be working for someone named Shannon, but when I got to work on my first day a younger, cuter girl greeted me. She was wearing the cutest brown pencil skirt and a blue button up military style shirt that I owned too, but in maroon. She had a cute scarf around her neck and long pretty hair. Most stylish business professional I had met to date at Rowan, and I decided that day that if I ever became a businesswoman I would dress equally cute as this girl.

I had no idea that years later I'd be shopping on weekends with that same girl, sharing shoes and purses and griping about the expansion of our hips. Over the course of the last 8 years she has become one of my closest friends. Other than my mom and other role models growing up, she was the only person I had to look to as an example of how a wife should be. So, when I got married I made sure to take note and learn from her. She was the only mother of young children that I knew, so again I took note and learned from her because I knew one day I'd have a munchkin tugging on my heels too. She was able to balance her far-too heavy work load, her obligations and desires as a mother and a wife, and was still able to find time to be an incredible friend.

I'd like to say that I'm one of the lucky few, but Brittany is a good friend to more people than anyone I've known I think. She's always willing to pause and take time to help a friend in need, even if that friend hasn't always been a friend in return. She's so giving of herself and her time, and she opens her heart and her life to her friends. I'd like to think I was an exception, but I know that what she did for me she would do for any other friend in a heart beat - because that's the kind of person she is. So, while I can't brag that I'm among the elite, I can still be grateful and thankful that I am among the many. Whether there are lots of others in line with me or I'm the only one, I'm still extremely fortunate to have her to call my friend. I can only hope that someday she will need help; someday she'll need something from someone else and she'll call on me.

So to my boss, my mentor, and mostly my friend: Happy Birthday Brittany. I am working on a birthday present, but it won't be complete for...well...maybe awhile. So I'll just let you have something to open on William's birthday. We're so excited to see you! Hope you had a fantastic birthday and are still celebrating 2 days later :)

Whoa is it Wednesday?

I'm lost on my days. My brain is just twisted and stretched and I don't know what time it is or what day it is, but every day I see my advent calendar tell me how many days I don't have before Christmas. That's all I know! This time of year is just ridiculous - I need to have a serious discussion with whoever designed the calendar. Really? 3 holidays within 35 days? That's just poor planning. And then the stupid accounting world who decided that books should close right after these insanely timed holidays? Now that was just someone who enjoyed self mutilation.

In any case, I realized it was wednesday before it was too late so that's a success. I didn't write about William last week because of the things that were more pressing - like needing prozac on our anniversary, then realizing I didn't need prozac because our anniversary was great, then finally realizing that inheritances suck. It was a busy 3 days. But I'm not talking about me am I? Or I'm not supposed to be. So, without further rambling, onto William!

Would you roll your eyes and get annoyed if I reiterated that William gets more and more fun every day? Some days he literally has me laughing until my stomach hurts. He's just hilarious! We miss daddy tremendously, please don't misunderstand, but we have so much fun in the evenings that my weeks really do breeze by. He makes it go by faster - whether that's what I want or not. (still torn on that)

His walking skills are getting better every day - literally! Every day he is better than the day before. He now takes 5-10 steps then when he feels his body start to get ahead of his feet he can stop, stand still to regain his balance, and begin walking again. Yesterday he walked to layla, leaned to give her a hug, then stood back up and walked to Austin. Once he gets to his final destination he still chooses to just fall over - so he fell onto austin's stomach - but he doesn't fall en route. He is enjoying being able to arrive next to Layla and almost be at her height. He can reach her collar tag perfectly at eye level, which is also a source of amusement for him.

A couple of weeks ago he altered his bedtime routine - did I already write about this? He used to sit in our laps right after bathtime, drink his bottle and go to sleep. Now he wants to play right after bath time. It usually only lasts 15-20 minutes but he crawls or walks around the room, pulling things off shelves, playing with his night light (not plugged into a wall, FYI), listens to his sound machine, laughs, rolls on Nancy...repeats all of the above then he crawls over to me as if to say "ok mom, now I'm ready". Then he is just as cuddly as ever, which melts my heart.

The past week or so has been a challenge trying to get him to eat. He's getting to the stage where he wants to feed himself but there are only so many things that are finger-foods. He can have snacks, or bananas, or mac-n-cheese...but there's just really not a lot to choose from. He doesn't want me to feed him from a spoon and gets mad when I try, so I'm getting creative with what he eats for dinner.

And - another thing that will make you roll your eyes due to repetition - William LOVES nancy. He loves her more and more as he grows and it just cracks me up sometimes. Nancy will hiss if Layla even THINKS of invading her personal space, or any dog for that matter, but she will allow William to do anything to her. We try to control it and teach him how to be nice, but its not always successful. That is to say, it is never successful and the only times he pets "soft" are when we take his hand and make him. He just laughs and laughs and laughs as he rolls all over her, and she just lays there staring at us as if we can help her. But she never budges, never hisses, and never scratches. She is the perfect pet, and I'm so thankful because I never would have thought William would love her like he does. This morning William and Austin were laying on our bed when Nancy jumped up there. William got really loud and excited, sat up, and started to go towards her. She just snuck around him and laid in austin's arm where William had been laying, then purred to her heart's content while William pulled on her fur. They are the cutest of buddies!

I was out of town this weekend so I missed William tremendously. Austin called me on Sunday afternoon to let me hear them playing and I almost burst into tears. I was so happy to hear how much fun they were having, but I missed them both like crazy. I asked Austin who he thought had it worse/harder in these separations - me or him. (neither of us even thinking William has it the hardest, of course) He said he thinks it's about the same(I received a text from him one day saying "I had no idea how hard it is to do this by yourself, I don't know how you do it), but I think the person who is gone has it harder. But then, Austin shared with me the one thing that makes being away a little more bearable: picking William up from day care. When we got there on Monday afternoon William took a quick look at Austin, then saw me, and AUSTIN was chopped liver. WHOA! He was SO happy to see me. My heart was overflowing.

Other than when William will learn to talk (which I have heard is roughly around 12 months???) we are past the point of constant milestones. Now its all about the little things. Watching him climb all over things, appearing to be taking a nosedive in the carpet only to find that he lifts his head just enough to keep crawling past the obstacle. Watching him get more coordinated with walking while playing with toys, or seeing the reasoning going on in his brain as he chooses to play with a hammer or a wrench. The time of "firsts" is almost done, but the learning and growing is endless! It's incredible! I wish I could write every little thing he does; I wish I could explain how and why he makes me laugh until I cry or makes me forget that there is anything else in this world. But, instead, all I can ever come up with is how incredible he is and how utterly blessed I am to have him in my life. I guess this is why parents always tell their kids that they have no idea how loved they are...because the love is so great that there are no words.

So, William...if and when you're reading this...just know that you can never know how much I love you, as much as it kills me to say those words. While I'm at it, I can tell you all about walking to school uphill in the snow. if you're ever wondering.

Inheritances Suck.

Any Grey’s Anatomy fans out there? Raise your hands, anyone?

I’m not really a Grey’s fan at this point – TV shows don’t last long with me. I’ll start out dedicated, then miss a week and watch it later on my DVR, then miss another week but forget to watch it before the next week so then I’m 2 weeks behind, and eventually Austin says “you have 10 grey’s episodes on the DVR, do you still need them?” To which I always reply, “Nah, I don’t watch that anymore. Go ahead and delete them.” That’s how I’ve lost touch with so many TV shows over the last few years. In fact, the only shows that hasn’t happened with are Private Practice and American Idol. I’m sure they are both doomed too, but for now they’re holding strong.

I was a Grey’s fan at one point though, and I want you to remember an episode with me. Izzy, one of the interns at Seattle Grace Hospital, had fallen in love and gotten engaged (did they get married???) to one of her patients, Denny Duket. She even risked her job and the jobs of her friends in order to nearly kill him so that he could then get a heart transplant. This is real-life stuff, ABC! After all of this, Denny ended up passing away and the guilt overtook Izzy’s body.

Then came the inheritance check.

Izzy wasn’t aware, but Denny was a millionaire and left her somewhere near $8.5 million (if my number-brain serves me well here). In her grief, she was unable to cash the check (HA who “cashes” that large of a check?) She held it in her hands, hung it on her fridge, and stared at it in near disgust. I never understood why she couldn’t just go deposit the check. She didn’t have to SPEND the money right away, she didn’t even have to spend a dime of it. She could invest it or let it sit in a savings account or donate it to charities or SOMETHING OTHER THAN STARE AT IT ON THE FRIDGE. This side of Izzy irritated me and the longer she let a multi-million dollar check be held up by a dime store magnet on a community refrigerator, the more frustrated I got.

Because I didn’t get it.

Never in my life have I thought about the concept of an inheritance. I’ve never dreamt of what I’d do or thought of what long-lost rich relative I may have lurking, just waiting to give me that break to financial freedom. I’ve never even thought about the how’s or why’s of inheriting anything. I was raised in a home that believed in Jesus Christ as our Savior. I was taught not to store up my wealth here on earth, where moth and rust can destroy, but to store up my life in Heaven. Money keeps the world spinning, sure, and we all need it to get by. But we were not raised in a greedy home or where monetary or materialistic values had any room to grow. So I’ve never put two thoughts into the idea of an inheritance.

Until now. Until I sit here, staring at my copy Mimi’s will while reflecting on the conversation I had with the attorney today. It doesn’t matter if I’ve inherited $10 or $10,000,000 (I can guarantee you, though, it was not the latter) – I’m still staring at it in the same manner. In disgust.

This is it? This is what her wonderful lifetime has come to? This is what is left to define our relationship? She could have left me with everything or she could have left me with nothing, and none of that changes the fact that inheritances just suck. In order to inherit something, someone has to die. There’s a hole in my heart, and this is supposed to fill it?

They want to sell her house, and the attorney asked me, “Does receiving a check by ____ sound good? That sounds good right?” I was shocked. Does it sound good? No, it doesn’t. Having my grandmother alive and well sounds good lady, a check sounds cheap. So I’m sorry that I’m not bouncing off the walls with excitement, but a check sounds far from good. It sounds disappointing, if you’re asking. There is no amount of money in the world that could equal the intrinsic value Mimi added to my life. There are no diamonds or yachts or deserted islands or any other item that could possibly be left in a will that could make me think “Ahh, good trade Amanda. Good trade”. When it comes to Mimi, there is no substitute for me. There is no trade.

I do realize that the house has to be sold and that our lives must go on. But I’m not ready to “cash in my inheritance”. I’m not ready to “claim my prize”. I’m not ready, because I’m not ready to accept that this is it. That I don’t have a choice between Mimi and a “yacht” – I just have a “yacht” (or whatever fills the blank there). Not for the first time in my life, I’m eating my words as I am no longer irritated by Izzy’s character and in fact I can sympathize.

Maybe I’ll hang it on my fridge for awhile.

I was Wro..Wro...I was Wro...

Wrong.

It's hard to admit, and it doesn't happen often. But yes, I was wrong.

My least favorite anniversary? Hardly. Possibly my favorite!!!

Yesterday slowly got better as the day progressed. Things calmed down, everyone was chipper at work, and by mid afternoon I was feeling pretty normal. Then at 4:20 Austin called and told me that he was at Goddard picking up William and would be home for dinner!!!

He said he had thought of coming home all week but never told me, then after the alarm incident he decided he definitely needed to come home. So when his class ended at 2:45 he quickly got changed, threw some stuff in his truck and headed up to Denver. When I found out he was on his way home with William I quickly finished up what I was doing and left too. When I got home I saw the most beautiful sight: his truck in our driveway, beautiful flowers on the table, and he and William playing in the living room.

We just had leftover enchiladas and rice for dinner, played with William until he was ready for his bath, and put him to bed. Then we unpacked the plethora of crap that the army issued him (AGAIN.), watched some TV, and it was time for him to leave. He didn't have long, but that's ok. It was the best anniversary we've had yet and all it required was a couple hours of driving :)

A Window into my World

Let me just put this out there: Today isn't my favorite of my 3 anniversaries. First and foremost, we are apart. So, that's enough right? Then beyond that I just have had a crazy morning.

I woke up late, then instead of rushing to get ready I spent 20 minutes on facebook. Why? No one else was on faecbook, so no one was updating anything. Literally, from the time I logged in to the time I finally slapped myself hard enough to make myself quit not one new thing had been posted. I don't know what I was doing! So, at that point it was too late to wash my hair. I have a point in my morning when it becomes too late to wash and do my hair, and I had passed that point purely by sitting on facebook.

So, I quickly got ready and then it occurred to me that it is trash day. I hate trash day. I don't know why, I just do. If there were a neighborhood kid who was willing to take my trash down to the curb every Wednesday I'd probably waste $10 just to not do it myself. I know it seems silly - it takes about 15 seconds, but it is Austin's job. I don't do the trash. Plus, my trailblazer blocks the trash can in the garage so to get the trash out I have to pull the truck out. You could also say that the boxes of stuff for goodwill and for soldiers' care packages are blocking the trash, but those aren't so easy to move. All around, just a pain. So, not only was I grumpy over having to roll the trash can to the curb, but that also meant I needed to empty the trash out of the bathrooms, the kitchen, put the cat litter trash that was sitting in the garage INTO the trash can...I just added 5 more minutes. What a pain! (**completely aware that I'm being a baby**)

Then, as I'm taking the trash out of the laundry room I realize I had put clothes in the wash last night, so I need to move those to the dryer. Why didn't I just stay up late enough last night? That would have been a far better plan. What is it that they say about hindsight again?

So, I was just a bit scatterbrained all morning. Couldn't think of what I needed to do or get, never felt like I had my day organized - I HATE that disheveled feeling. Hats off to those people who function under that sort of feeling on a normal basis - I can't stand it for just one hour! I finally got everything together, which turned out just to be my purse and William's bottles so really wasn't all that much, got the pets fed, the tree watered, Layla went potty and William was up and dressed - out the door we go.

Then, on the way to Goddard I decided I'd multitask and make a phone call. SO glad that I did. I called the house cleaners to see when they'd be coming again as I knew it was soon only to find out I was on the schedule for today. Today? But I didn't know! She told me it was on my November invoice, but I just assumed that was all NOVEMBER info so I didn't look for a future cleaning date. So, I'm flustered on the phone trying to give instructions...layla is inside rather than in the garage, the alarm is set for no-entry allowed so it would immediately go off and only allow 30 seconds to disarm, there was a row of loads of laundry to be washed, crafts spread out across my craft table...all around just not ready for a house cleaner. So, the owner was very kind and emailed all of my notes to the woman who would be cleaning the house. The all around kicker here - I didn't have to take any of that trash out to begin with! Slightly frustrating. But I got William to Goddard, got myself to starbucks, got to talk to my husband on our 3rd anniversary - things were calming down.

UNTIL...Austin called me 5 times in a row while I was away from my desk to let me know that the alarm company had called him and they were dispatching the police to our house. Holy mother of everything. I run down to my trailblazer, pull out of my parking spot to go 95mph all the way home, then my phone rings again. It was the owner of the company saying she had spoken to the police, provided her info and the company info, explained the situation and because they had a house key and a registered business the police officer left with his notes. So, I didn't have to go back home.

At this point, that starbucks was a big mistake (big. HUGE. I have to go shopping now). Big mistake because my heart is just racing. The only thing that could get me back to a normal level right now would be a margarita, or maybe some prozac :) And by how scatterbrained this blog is, you can tell I never got that rita.

One very long, boring, pointless story later - this is not my favorite anniversary. But, it is just a day. It's one day to celebrate a full year - and when I look back on the last year, I don't even remember my morning today. I remember how wonderful the year was. Obviously the highlight of our third year of marriage was William's birth but that isn't the only highlight. We've had lots of wonderful memories shared between the 2 of us - special outings, special conversations, and some growth in our relationship. And hey - we spent almost the ENTIRE third year together, so that's something isn't it? :)

I don't know what my life would be like today if I hadn't written Austin that email 6 years ago. I don't know where I'd live, what I'd do, or what my daily-grind would be like. I often wonder what turns my life would have taken, but when I wonder I am always excessively thankful that my life didn't take those turns. I don't know what they would have been, and I don't need to know. As I've said plenty of times before, Austin is the perfect complement to me and together we made one fantastic baby. This year was probably my favorite of the 3, and although I know next year may be the hardest I still look forward to reflecting upon it when we get to this day. Even the hardest of times are worth it because we are so blessed to have each other.

Separation is to love as wind is to fire. If the fire is weak the wind puts it out but if the fire is strong the wind will intensify it.
Here's to a strong year to come.
Happy Anniversary Austin. We'll celebrate - some day.

Really? Really, Really?!

I've had a lot of "really?!" moments lately. Here are some for your entertainment:



Yesterday someone asked me "Why is your baby so skinny?" Hmm, 2 responses crossed my mind. First, "obviously he got it from his super skinny mom". I opted for the more appropriate response of "Because he's tall". Really? Did she ask me that?



Also yesterday, Matt Schaub. If you watched the Texans game, you don't need me to explain. If you didn't, you probably don't care. So, I'll just say: Matt Schaub. Really?



At the battalion Christmas party this weekend the room was getting really hot and William was getting too warm in his overalls, so I took them off. He had on a white onesie underneath, so I let him crawl around in that. Someone walked by "ooo someone better put some clothes on that baby, why would his parents let him be naked?" Ok. He wasn't naked. Also, either the parents aren't around which is a bigger problem than him being unclothed, or his parents are RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU and you should probably have more tact.



A girl who is commonly late here at work, and comes up with the most amazing stories, is now late today because her brand new car wouldn't go in reverse. It just wouldn't back up. I'm still not sure where in the story she explained how she was able to get it to the car dealership, or why she turned down our coworker's offer to give her a ride from the dealership to work - but the point here is that her brand new car (ok 4 months old) just had a trial-version of reverse. Really?! And her boss bought it like she buys all the other stuff she sells!!!



Ok, those are just some samples. My brain is just repeatedly asking myself, really? All day. It's fun!

I Feel Cheated

I felt so cheated yesterday!

Austin and I were at lunch and I was going to leave cash to pay the tab. I pulled out what looked like $.35 before I notice that my dime wasn't a dime - it was a Canadian coin! How rude!

I do realize that it is only 10 cents lost, but I really felt like someone had robbed me. I also realize that if it was that easy for the Canadian coin to be in circulation that I could probably pass it along as 10 cents, but for some reason that just felt wrong.

So, I sulked out of the restaurant, feeling as though my life's fortune had been ripped out of my hands. And that's why I'm at work today - to earn myself a new dime.

Happy Monday everyone!!!

A Refreshing Change

It's no secret that I love Colorado, but there are some things that I definitely miss from Texas. Southern hospitality ranks pretty high on that list, and general politeness and friendliness to go with it.

For example, what happened to always taking something to a host/hostess when they invite you into their home? I mentioned something about this yesterday to some coworkers because I was stumped on what to take to a dinner party Saturday night. Generally I take wine - that's easy - but the hosts are Mormon. So, I don't think wine would go over very well :) The people I was talking to looked at me like I had just come from Mars. Take something? Who would have thought.

Then, I went into a Wrangler store last night. It is the first in the world, as I know most of you are reading this thinking "Since when does wrangler have stores?" Since 2 months ago, to answer your question. Anyway, the people in there were SO polite, friendly, chatty and just overall very welcoming. It's a refreshing change from the general atmosphere that I've found up here. People avoid eye contact at all cost - as if to smile and say "hello" would be going above and beyond. People don't say excuse me or wave "thank you" as you let them in during traffic. People don't hold doors open unless you are on their heels, and often look at you as if you're pulling one over on them if you DO hold the door open for them. it's just bizarre.

I do know that it isn't ONLY in the south where this type of treatment can be found. I know that small towns all over have that sort of nature. Denver is just not one of those places. So, even though I don't typically wear western style clothes I may start frequently visiting the Wrangler store just to be treated in that way. It was so nice!

William's World

I don't have a whole lot to report this week but sometimes when I think that, the post ends up longer than usual. So, I guess it'll just be a surprise for you and me!

William and I had a fun week last week, and Thursday night I was so disappointed to put him to bed. We had rolled around the living room for an hour just playing, laughing and cuddling. That boy sure can make me laugh! I've been starting a bad habit though - I feed him in his high chair in the living room while watching Wheel of Fortune. I know, i KNOW this is bad. Every night I think "i need to stop this" and then I do it again. I will stop soon. I need to. Maybe I should just record it, then watch it at 7:00 after he's done eating.

Friday I was so excited to take him to Colorado Springs. There is a small amusement park in the mountains called The North Pole where you can go to Santa's workshop and visit Santa. I've heard its a cute little attraction, so I figured it made sense for us to go down there to see daddy and spend the day at Santa's workshop. Paul, Janell and Brooklyn came too - and the idea to spend the day there was extremely ambitious. It was FREEZING. William was amused by Santa, especially his beard, but he didn't want to look at the camera. He just wanted to pull Santa's beard! We got a cute picture, just need to scan it and get it on the computer. You know the drill with that - give me a few months. We also have some cute pictures from walking around the north pole...still hiding away on the camera. :) We went on a little train ride around the park and that's when it got really cold. William had on fleece lined overalls (SO CUTE!), a long sleeve onesie, fleece socks, a jacket, mittens, and a thick blanket...but his poor little nose was uncovered. He looked like Rudolph! We left shortly after :)

Saturday night we had planned to go out to eat, but William was having too much fun playing in the hotel room and Austin was amused. So, I went and picked up dinner to let them play. We ate in the room, and I think that was our best choice of the weekend. William was having a blast exploring and trying to make us laugh - which isn't hard, but he sure loves to do it! Sunday we stayed in the hotel until the last minute we had, but after that we were a little homeless. Austin's barracks room had too many crevices that William could squeeze into that were full of dust and dirt. He's staying in really old, hardly used barracks and even though he and his roommate - to my surprise - bought a broom and mop, there were still areas that William managed to find which turned his hands black. GROSS. So, we didn't stay there long and then we were really stuck on what to do. We ate a late lunch/early dinner at the Black Eyed Pea and learned William likes squash casserole and bread. Smart baby. Then we headed home.

Monday night William and I went to a friend's house for dinner and he had 4 sets of eyes glued to him for a couple of hours. That makes an attention loving baby happy. He wanted to be touching me at all times, but wanted to be facing them and performing at his best. Then when Stef pulled out a monkey puppet and started playing with him we discovered what he needs for Christmas. Annnnd its purchased! That was fast huh :)

He is still working on his walking, and still babbling away in his own little language. Almost everything is "dada" and he has started making a P and T sound sometimes too. So, we had D, P, and T...where is that M?! Mama...Mama...Mama. Austin said it ALL weekend, but no luck. Guess he'll just figure it out on his own someday. He hasn't done anything NEW this week, but he has continued to entertain me. The older he gets the more he makes me laugh, and I love how much he enjoys entertaining me. The only bad sign here is that I do remember how much Brian entertained my mom, and that it kept him from ever getting into trouble. Let's hope I have a little more authority with William and that his little grin doesn't get him out of shooting a bb gun in his bedroom or smashing Christmas lights on the roof!!!

Where do You see God?

I have heard people say that they see God in the sunrise or the sunset. The beautiful colors filling the sky; the light fading away or emerging at the start of the day. I've heard people say that they see God in the fall colors of trees' leaves changing. The sign of hope for change in the seasons of our own lives; the sign that God has a plan to carry you through. I've heard that some people see God in major acts of mother nature - like hurricanes, tidal waves, blizzards. That God's peace shines throughout. That God is the calm in the middle, like the eye of the storm.

Me? I learned yesterday where I see God most. As a result, learned why it is that I love Colorado so much. When I look at the mountains, that's where I see him. That's where I feel his presence the most. The mountains are so majestic, so beautiful, and yet so imperfect. Their edges are rough and uneven. Their trees only grow leaves on one side. There are patches of snow that are too hidden to ever see the sun, and then there are areas that can't hold snow longer than a few days because the sun is ever present.

Through their raging imperfections and their harsh contrasts, I am reminded somehow of God's work not only in the world but in our lives. There are areas of our lives that may seem perfect, yet there are always the hidden areas where the snow never melts. There are times when our lives seem so rough, like the tips of the mountains, yet when you step back and see everything together you can see their beauty.

I drove home from Colorado Springs last night, which is nestled deeper into the foothills than Denver, staring more at the mountains on my left than the road in front of me. I was sad to be leaving my husband, yet ecstatic at the shrills of happiness coming from my backseat. The harsh contrasts of my life, and yet I know that God has created every moment for a purpose. So while I drove away, the pangs in my heart were overshadowed by the smile on my face and the love that I felt. And that's when I felt God the most.

What about you?

Love my eBook

I enjoy reading. I don't read much. Why don't I read when I enjoy it? Well, for starters, I'm terrible at picking out books and I hate the idea of spending $10+ on a book and possibly not liking it after 2 chapters. Then I'd of course force myself to read it, meaning it would take twice as long as it should because I'd be struggling through it, because I couldn't possibly waste the money. Second, I don't ever go to the bookstore. I think I've been to a bookstore MAYBE 5 times in the past 3 years. When I do go I buy multiple, so I usually have a reading binge...but once those are done, I have to wait another 6-9 months before I see another book. It's sad, really.

I once had a friend who had her own bookstore. well, I still have this friend we just live in different states. And she still has her near-bookstore in her bedroom (a huge hutch FULL of awesome books) It was great! Not only was it readily available for my enjoyment, but it had already passed the screening of good-book or bad-book. That made reading VERY convenient. But, since I moved back to Colorado (2 years ago) I think I've read 3 books. I may have forgotten how to read and I wouldn't even know it.

But theeeeeeen I got my new phone. With ebooks. And I love it. Sure the screen is small (could be remedied with an ipad) and sure they say apple's selection is limited...but coming from the girl who is averaging 1.5 books per year, I don't think I'll run out. I bought my first book 2 nights ago and I can't quit reading it! Doesn't help that I have it on me at all times...at work I have to force myself NOT to just read a page. A page in itself is harmless, but a page never lasts at just one. it's like eating pringles people. Helps, too, that I picked a book that I love. So its all around perfect, I think.

Except for that little ol' small screen. Hmm...whatever shall I do...

Couldn't Wait for Tomorrow

How do you know if people are being honest or being polite when they compliment you?

Well, let me tell you how.

When you're walking down the hallway at the doctor's office and you hear people whispering to each other down the hall "Did you see that little baby? OOOO he's so cute!" and the other responding "I know did you see his beautiful eyes?"

Yep, people mean it. My baby is beautiful. What can I say?

Two Times Wednesday

I debated posting last Wednesday, just to keep with William's posts. I debated it long and hard. But, in the end, the last thing I wanted to do was turn on the computer. That took more effort than I was willing to exert. Sorry! Instead, I'll try to rehash the highlights of the past 2 weeks in William's World.

Hmm, William's World. Another potential blog title. Funny how many words I'm finding that start with W. (as now I feel like sesame street with the letter of the day)

I already mentioned how clingy William was on our trip. It was a wonderful feeling to have him know so well who his mommy and daddy are. Proves that it doesn't matter that he spends most of his days with Miss Kim and Miss Jennifer - he knows his parents. At times it was a bit daunting because we wanted our families to be able to enjoy him, and we wanted to be able to go to the bathroom in peace, but it was still a wonderful part of our week. And he's been extra cuddly lately! So, combine clingy with cuddly and you have the best snuggles all day long. On Monday when I was back at work I couldn't figure out what felt so weird and I realized that it was the fact that I didn't have a sweet baby's head laying on my chest with his arms around my neck. I love that cuddle bear!

He did have fun exploring on the trip once he was comfortable though. He was in heaven when we realized that the kitchen cabinets in Freer and at my mom's house didn't have locks like ours, but he wasn't too happy when we held them closed with our legs. He is getting more and more frustrated when things don't work the way that he knows they are supposed to. I used to think you could just trick babies into thinking things like "oh, i guess that cabinet just doesn't open" But NO. He doesn't think that at all, he knows exactly how we're keeping them closed and he does NOT like it.

Another thing that we learned that he likes while we were in Texas was TVs. He doesn't care really about watching the TV (unless it's Wheel of Fortune! that's my boy!) but he just likes the actual TV. Our TVs are not near the floor so he's never touched one, but in Freer and in Houston he was able to walk up to them and touch them. And he kept going back time and time again! In Freer he liked to press his ear against the speaker, learning where the sound comes from. And in Houston he stood right at the TV watching the aggies BTHO t.u. What a proud mama he made me!

He was pretty selective on who he was comfortable with during our trip and who he was unsure of. I felt bad, but I know that his selection was based on nothing - he's just a baby! He just had a lot of new people and new surroundings, and had to try to absorb it all. The only person that he instantly liked, without any hesitation, was his uncle brian. Why him?! I really don't know. He crawled right up to Brian not 2 minutes after he'd walked in the house in Freer. At first we all thought he was confused and thought those were daddy's boots and daddy's legs...but once he had climbed up his legs, stood up and looked up he knew it wasn't a familiar face and he still wanted to be picked up! Maybe he just knew Brian needed a nice welcome home :)

When I dropped him off at school on Monday morning Ethan's parents were there. Ethan is the one who wore the UT outfit months ago, if you remember. His dad was surprised WIlliam wasn't in an aTm shirt, but we don't have any cool-weather aTm clothes. Sad day! His parents said that over Thanksgiving Ethan had started taking a few steps, and Miss Kim said "uh oh, guess that means William will want to". Ethan took 3 steps up to me after his parents were gone, and William was very jealous. That afternoon when I picked him up he took 4 steps to me! These steps are different from steps he's taken in the past. A few times we've been able to let go of his fingers once he's already in motion and his body just kind of moves with the momentum. But this time he started from a standing position and took 4 solid steps. Melted my heart! Definitely the happiest part of my day, and what a day to do it!!! This morning Miss Kim said the most he's taken is 6 steps, and that he is getting more and more confident each time. Pretty soon we'll have a walker on our hands!

He also now has 3 teeth, with the 4th just waiting. We can see the itty bitty tip of it, but it hasn't budged in a week. I'm sure it'll break through soon, as this morning he had a big string of drool hanging from his mouth. Teething is the weirdest little transition, but its so cute. Oh

I had to pick him up today on my lunch break to go for a follow up on his tubes. One of them is clogged with ear wax so I have to give him drops twice a day and then take him back next week. I swear, I had no idea how frequently I'd have to miss work for him. I got slightly frustrated because we were in the waiting room for a couple of minutes, where there were toys for him to play with, but when we were called back to a room we waited another 25 minutes. Try keeping a busy little boy from exploring in a room where there are lots of things he can't play with. Not fun! Why couldn't we just keep waiting in the waiting room? Then we spent MAYBE 3 minutes with the doctor, to find out we have to go back. ACK. I just want his precious little ears to be done. Buuuuut, on the bright side, I sure do love getting to see that lil' guy in the middle of my work day!

I am 100% sure I'm missing major parts of the last 2 weeks here, but I have spent all day piecing this blog together and I think its about time I just let it go. And if I can think of anything I missed, there's always tomorrow right?

An Expensive Time of Year

Whew. I just made a list of all of the "unusual" expenses I have in the next week...OH MY GOODNESS. How do these things all come at once? Why does it work that way? And why 3 weeks before Christmas?!

Somehow I find myself needing to spend a good chunk of money on my trailblazer's maintenance, a few last Christmas presents I hadn't planned on, the hotel for Colorado springs this weekend, my plane ticket to Houston for Maize's graduation, tickets to the Houston Texans vs Denver Broncos game, and the locksmith.

Ah, the locksmith. Somehow I glazed over that part of our trip in my post yesterday didn't I?

The week before Thanksgiving I was getting everything organized. I even bragged on the world wide web about how great I am at organizing and preparing for trips. Sure put myself in my place there! I spent the week making sure our bags were packed, had the house cleaners come, wrote up 3 pages of instructions for the house sitter, changed sheets, did laundry...everything was set. Arranged for a ride to the airport, gave him instructions on how to get the trailblazer back into the garage and get out of the garage so he could go home. I had it all set up.

Then, 20 minutes before we were going to board the plane my phone rang and it was my coworker who would be staying at my house.

"Hey Amanda. Um, I'm looking through all these instructions and I'm just kind of confused. I can't remember, how did you want me to get in the house?"
...thinking, thinking, thinking...vividly remembering handing off a house key...doesn't she have a house key? i took it off my key ring, i know i did...i see it in my hand, handing it to...jenny? oh crap. not handing it to jenny. handing it to the house CLEANER.

CRAP CRAP CRAP. Quick. Is there a hidden key? Open window? Big boulder to throw at a window? none of the above. And in my brilliant planning our driver put our truck keys in our truck as he closed it in the garage, so he can't even bring it over. OOOOO call the house cleaner! BRILLIANT! Call, no answer. Call, no answer. Leave message. Plane just pulled up, no time to wait. crap.

Locksmith it is.

I boarded the plane with Jenny sitting on my front porch waiting on the locksmith to arrive, pets inside needing to go potty and eat dinner. Reagan could have starved!!!

When I landed in Houston I called Jenny to make sure she had gotten in. She told me the locksmith wasn't able to get in the front door, but he WIGGLED the back door until the lock came loose. I am paying $150 to someone for WIGGLING MY DOOR?! My mom thinks I should be thankful because the lesson here is that I need to use a bar to keep the back door securely closed. Yes, I am thankful. Thankful to have spent $150. Oh, so, very thankful.

And would you believe that Austin had forgotten to lock his truck that day? So Jenny was sitting 20 feet from an unlocked truck with a button to open the garage door...the key to warmth and free entry...and none of us even thought to have her CHECK to see if it was unlocked. Locked house, unlocked car.

So, as I'm whining about all of my expenses I do realize that all but 1 of them are optional. But in my mind, they are necessary. Texans tickets = necessary. Christmas gifts = necessary. Hotel = necessary. The only one I want to scrounge on is the only one that actually needs to be done...and that's the truck maintenance. Ahhhh, such is life! :)

This. Just. Sucks.

I like to write about fun stuff. I like to write about things that are fairly meaningless in life like football and ipads and…ok meaningless was a bad word since those 2 examples alone consume a lot of my daily thoughts. Light hearted is a better term – and much more fun to write about. I do go through stints of writing about serious stuff, emotional stuff, hard stuff…but I like to keep those to a minimum. I’m writing at work, after all, so if I write about sad stuff all the time people may start to wonder why I go through a box of Kleenex per day. Plus, I have my dedicated readers – all 4 of you – and I don’t want to be Debbie downer on your day either. I may lose one of you, and that’s 25% of my audience! So, I stick with ipads.

But then there are times like now. You see, Austin left on Sunday night. It was a good time, or should I say convenient time, for me to have him leave because I had 2 big suitcases to unpack, laundry to do, bottles to wash…and if you read my blog about packing and about how he tends to get in the way, you can apply that to unpacking as well. So unpacking is much more efficient on my own. By the time the bags were unpacked, everything put away, and 3 episodes of Private Practice had been viewed it was 10:30, he had called to say goodnight, and I turned in as well. Easy enough huh?

That was just one night though. The morning came, and it was easy enough for the same reason…get up at 5:15, stumble to the shower. Fight my eye lids for 20 minutes so I don’t fall over in said shower. Put in contacts, get dressed, run hair-crap through my hair to make it semi-curly and avoid the blow dryer, make the bed, switch out the laundry, make bottles for William and…as if he had an alarm set…he woke up JUST as I finished my routine. So, onto his! Change diaper, pick out clothes, cuddle and play, pack up the car – and we’re off!

Then the fun is over. Then I’m at work. At work where I receive an email that makes me climb the walls I’m so mad. At work where I sit and think all day. Think about how much I don’t want to be at work, and how much I don’t want Austin to be in Colorado springs.

It’s nearly 5:00 now, where the hustle and bustle may distract me for a few hours. Babies have a way of making the saddest of times happy. I remember the day Mimi passed away – William cuddled me for hours, as if he knew I was unhappy, and he melted away my sorrows for awhile. So I’m sure he will not disappoint in this case either – make funny faces, shaking his head side to side and making happy noises to see if I’ll copy him. This is a new game he’s started, and he really loves it! I’m sure he’ll have me laughing and smiling and forgetting that his daddy isn’t home.

But then it’s his bed time. And what do I do then? When Austin left for his last deployment I occupied my first few days by painting the guest bedroom. When he left for his 3 months in Arizona I spent the first 2 days painting our bedroom. Then our kitchen. Then when I was really antsy I painted our office. I had projects to fill the first few days, because I’ve learned the first few days are the hardest.

The first few days are when you have to adjust. Decide how to do the things that you used to do for 2 and will now do for 1. The first few days are when you think its pointless to even make dinner because its just for yourself. The first few days are when you’d almost rather run a marathon than be in your house, because at least a marathon would distract you. It’s all about distractions, I’ve learned. I just don’t have any distractions scheduled for after 8:00.

And the first-few-days-distractions are trickier than the general deployment distractions. I don’t want to talk to anyone, because you can almost hear the awkwardness while everyone is trying to talk without asking all the questions they want to ask. It’s like they want so badly to TALK about the one thing I want to be distracted from, that the entire conversation is focused on that one thing without even mentioning the words. Makes for a bad distraction. I don’t want to even toy with the idea of alcohol at this point because its only day one, and if I need a glass of wine on day one what will I do on day 152 when I’m so far in, yet so far from the end? You have to save alcohol for more dire times, otherwise…well…we know about alcoholics now don’t we? So that’s out.

I can scrapbook. I can watch movies. I’m sure I can clean out the garage or the crawl space or the closet or the guest room or the pantry. I’m sure all of the above can be reorganized once cleaned out too. Trips to the container store in my future for sure. And this is where OCD comes into play.
So what is a healthy distraction? Hard to say. Hard to find. But once I find one, I’ll stick with it.
Don’t worry, though. Please don’t worry. Don’t panic that I’m going to starve myself by forgetting dinner – I like food too much. And baking is a GREAT distraction. Instant gratification. I’ll eat. And I won’t drink. And I’ll find things to fill my time. I’ll be distracted, I’ll be happy, and I’ll be fine. I promise. I won’t shut the world out, I won’t be depressed, and I really won’t be any reason for concern. Once the first few days have passed, I’ll have my own routine and will be in the swing of what I do now by myself. It’s just getting through the first few days that is tough.

For tonight, though, I’ll play with the idea of driving home to a hot pink garage. It would give me 2 painting projects, after all, because there’s no way Austin would let it STAY hot pink once he gets home. Plus, its the only unpainted room I have left!!!

Here I Am!

Did you miss me? I hope so! I missed writing, I can say that. I didn't miss sitting at this desk though. 10 days off work really makes you not want to go back...that may be a little too long to take off. Note for next time :)

I can't possibly write all about the past 10 days - I'd be writing about it all week, and I think I'd get bored. So I'll just share some key points:
~William sat on a dead animal. Candace's buck she shot!
~William got stung by a yellow jacket and took it like a champ. I would have been crying for hours if it were me. I was nearly crying for hours and it WASN'T me.
~I GOT TO SEE BRIAN!
~Austin shot a buck.
~William validated my decision to fly rather than drive as 3.5 hours seemed to be his limit to happily riding in a car seat.
~I ate a lot of deliciously horrible food. donuts, kolaches, lupe tortilla, fried food, fat food, sweet food - all wonderful. And all to be felt at 12:30 today in sports conditioning!
~William was very clingy to Austin and me - mostly me, I think. It was a nice feeling, but made it hard to do anything!
~Got to sit around a fire pit drinking beer with addie - not a lot of beer, but made me miss college and living with her and jen. An awesome 2 years!
~Cooked a wonderful thanksgiving dinner - had 15 people at my mom's house so we didn't have to make too much...turkey, green beans, stuffing, ambrosia and pies (really didn't need to make those pies - we had more dessert than food!)
~Watched the aggies BTHO t.u. WHOOOOP!
~Black Friday shopping - partly successful. Got to Target at 4:00 to find the one item I was looking for wasn't even in stock. How rude! But then we went to Macy's and went shopping for Dana...got her some cute shirts, so that's awesome. Then I got some clothes, shoes, and did get a couple things for Austin. I didn't buy a single thing for William the whole trip - SHOCKING!
~Successfully cooked deer meat with my first real cooking companion at my side - in college we cooked lots, set the kitchen on fire even. This time - lots of grease yet no fire. Quite the achievement!
~Got to leave the sleeping baby at home one night to go out and see patty and keith. had planned to go to a bar- was really excited at the prospect, but then we all decided staying home and playing mario kart on nintendo64 was better. i told them i'd lose every game, and I did not disappoint. I'm horrible! But it was fun :)
~William got to see his god-family. He was unsure of all the new places and new faces that he was bombarded with during the week, but he did well over there! At the end of the night he even leaned into BB and Nico and wrapped his arms around their necks to hug them. It was so precious!

I think this was one of my favorite trips to Texas that we've ever had. It was long, but it was nice. And its funny - I used to think thanksgiving was a silly holiday, but every year I like it more and more. Now I think it might be my favorite! I love cooking, I love my family, and I love big gatherings. I have such a wonderful, blessed life so the concept of Thanksgiving is right up my alley. I love it!

We were very excited to get home yesterday, though, after being gone for 10 days. I really think William was most excited of all! I told someone that and they said "how do you even know? he can't talk" But oh my, you can tell. He was THRILLED when we opened his bedroom door, he had a blast playing in his crib this morning, he squealed louder than ever every time he saw Nancy - then proceeded to roll all over her. He was ecstatic.

I was glad to be back in my fantastic bed last night, but not terribly excited that I was cuddling with 2 cats rather than Austin. He left after William's bedtime last night for Colorado Springs. He'll be there for 3 weeks, then he'll be home for the 2 weeks of Christmas. This weekend William and I are going down there to see him, then on Saturday Paul, Janell and Brooklyn are coming down too so we can all go to the North Pole and see Santa's Workshop. It'll be fun! It's a whole little town they've created with shops, food places, and of course Santa. I'm sure William, like most babies, won't care for him - but I'm just excited to take him to the town. I've heard there are lots of fun things for kids of all ages.

So, that's the short version of the past 10 days. We really had a great trip and I'm so thankful for the time we spent with everyone.

William Wednesday

Feels like it's been forever since I've written William Wednesday. Don't think I'll be posting another only-picture post in place of William Wednesday again :)

The biggest part of the last week (or 2) for William was his ear surgery. And he was a rock star! We had to wake up at 5:15 which is no different than a normal workday, but there's something about having a day off and still waking up before the sun that just irks me. William woke up around 5:30 and we had to be out the door at 5:50. We got through the check-in and into the waiting area before he realized that he had been awake over an hour without food/bottle - and at that point he wasn't terribly happy with us. We walked around, let him walk around (which was pretty cute with his socks on the slippery floor) and let him play in the baby crib to try to occupy him. Surgery was set for 7:15, but the doctor didn't show up until almost 8. William let him know what he thought of that for sure!

The hardest part by far was handing him over to the nurse and watching her carry him down the surgical hallway. The nurse who checked us in had teased me by saying "So is either one of you going to go back with him?" My eyes lit up as I said, "YES! I didn't know we were allowed!" She looked down at his chart and said, "Oooohhh, he's under a year...I'm so sorry...you can't" WHAT? What a tease! But, by the time I had stopped crying from them carrying him away, sat down and pulled out my magazine Dr Lewark came out to let us know he was done and still sleeping. He talked a little about how it went, said William did well and that the nurse would be out to let us know once he was awake. 10 seconds later, the nurse came out and said "he's up, and I hope you have a bottle!" He was SCREAMING! His face was splotchy from all his screams and cries. Poor baby! But, once I sat in the rocker with him and gave him his bottle he was a happy camper.

We got to spend the rest of the day at home and less than 2 hours after the surgery he was acting like nothing had ever happened. Austin thinks he could even hear us better that soon after the procedure. His wonderful godparents had sent him an early Christmas present and since it arrived on his surgery day, we decided it was a surgery present so we opened it (with their permission of course) It's the coolest black and decker tool bench ever!!! He loves it, especially the hammer. We had to teach him that we don't hammer on Layla though :) It said it's for ages 3+ but we made sure he can't get any small parts so he'll have awhile to grow with it. Once he's a little older with more coordination we can loosen the screws and show him how to use his screwdriver to tighten them. It pretty much rocks :)

We also have had a lot of fun practicing his walking. He is getting so good and he loves walking back and forth between us. He gets so proud! He's stood on his own a few times, especially when he's had one tool in one hand and another tool in the other. His face looks like he's prioritizing...like his mind is thinking "OK, I've got my hammer, the table to hold onto, and I want that screw driver. Do I drop the hammer? Heavens no. The table must go" Then he just stares at the 2 tools in his hand, as if to say "I figured out the puzzle!" He tried taking a step one day when he was standing on his own, and that step turned into a near face plant. But he was still proud!

This week he's started drinking his breakfast formula out of a sippy cup instead of a bottle. Miss Kim says he loves it, so she's thinking of moving his lunch formula to a sippy cup too. She said he's early, but he does well and likes it so its good to get him transitioned. I SWEAR he just wants to do what Helen does. I just need to teach Helen to say "mama" and then I'd be happy :)

Last weekend Austin and I went out to a country bar with some friends and Mr. Scott watched William. Austin said Scott was talking about how much fun they had all day at work on Sunday. Scott's son Jake, who is 4, was apparently so excited for the baby to come but when we got there he kept hiding behind the couch. I think he was waiting for William's annoying parents to leave :) Scott said Jake showed William all of his toys and William was just in awe, watching Jake play.

OH - and he has 2 teeth now! Babies are supposed to get the bottom 2, then the top 2, but William wanted to be a snaggle toothed boy so he has the lower left and upper right teeth. The other 2 are just waiting in the wings, I'm sure. It's really weird to feed him with a spoon and feel the teeth, or let him drink my water and hear the teeth clanking against the glass. I wonder if he thinks its weird?

I don't know if you remember my post from our anniversary trip last year (I'm sure you don't, actually) but when we were in Estes Park we bought William a stuffed puppy. We call him doggie. When we bought it, it was the size that the doctor estimated William was, so it was fun to curl up doggie and try to see how he possibly could fit in my tummy. Well, now doggie is William's favorite toy and it's pretty fun to see how excited he gets. He gets ALMOST as excited to see doggie as he does to see Nancy. Last night I worked until 8 so I missed bedtime. When I got home William was laying completely on top of doggie in his crib, doggie's paws sticking out from underneath, and he had his face snuggled into doggie's. If I wasn't afraid of waking him I would have gotten a picture, it was too sweet. I had to wash doggie last weekend, and I'm guessing I'll need to wash him again soon. He gets looooots of lovin', which means lots of snot and drool.

We finally hung pictures from William's newborn photo shoot on Monday night - can you believe how much he's grown and changed?!

It's been the most amazing 9 months and I am so excited for every little step along the way as he grows. I'm keeping a log of what I'm thankful for every day on facebook, but every day I just want to write "I'm thankful for William". Definitely the shining point of my life!!!

Guess What I'm Doing Today?

I'm so excited!

I have an appointment in one hour to meet with the owner of Neat Freaks Housecleaners!!! Austin and I had decided that if I were to try to work full time, be a mom full time, clean the house full time, and keep my sanity full time I would surely fail at one...and it would probably be the last. So, we decided that while he's gone I should hire a house cleaner. The problem is, I wouldn't be comfortable allowing someone into my house without a reference from a friend and none of my friends use house keepers. (it's not that I don't have many friends, its that they don't use house cleaners. I promise!) So if a stranger is going to come in my house while I'm not there, I want to be sure I can go after them if anything ever goes missing. I'm sure it won't, but I just wanted some reassurance!

We dropped the conversation at that, and that was about 4 months ago. It lingered in the back of my mind but I never really had the energy (pathetic) to make the effort to find someone. Then one day, as if the angels from above were shining down on me, we were stuck at a ridiculously long light next to a beautiful Tahoe with a sticker that said "Neat Freaks House Cleaners". I think there was a golden cloud surrounding the title too, but that may have just been my own hallucination.

They are a little pricier than I had planned, but I loved their website and over the phone she said she'd offer a military discount. I am starting off just having her come once a month - I really just need a little help with more of the deep cleaning. We already have a pretty set routine with the kitchen, the floors, etc. I just don't get around to the baseboards or the fans or some of the less used areas of the house all that often. But...no promises that I won't love it so much that I increase the frequency...only time will tell. Actually, not only time...my "merit increase" may play a role too.

So, I'm off to my appointment to meet Amy. I feel like such a big girl now!

I'm a Packing Pro

Take my greatest strengths and think of the best ways I can utilize them. I think packing may be in the top of that list. I'm really good at packing! It's not something that I go shouting from rooftops like I would if I were great at ice skating or playing the piano, but it is still a quality that I think is pretty good to have.



First, you have to pack early. I don't know why I think this is a strength, but it is. My boss oftentimes is packing at 1am the night before a trip because she didn't get off work in time the day before and she has a 6 am flight to catch. Not me; I can work as late as I need to the night before a vacation because I most likely finished packing 4 days earlier.



Second, you have to have a mental list in your head. I have gotten pretty used to packing this year because this is the SIXTH plane trip William will take. It's pathetic, really. But, it's helped me learn his packing-needs quickly, and I already know ours. So I have these lists in my head that I can just check off. The cool part of my mental-packing lists is that they work like a checklist on my iPhone...once I've packed one thing, it somehow removes itself from my list. So I don't have to keep scrolling through those things. It's pretty handy.

Third, you have to know how to maximize your packing space. Airlines are making a KILLING on checked bag fees (lucky for us, we take free bags thanks to austin's military service...but fewer bags is still better). So you have to know the best ways to fold the clothes and maneuver them in your suitcase to fit as much as you can within the 50lb limit. **Note: the extra large suitcases are great for road trips, cruises, etc. Not so much for planes, as you have to be careful not to fill them and pay an overweight fee. So, you have to also be aware of heavy items like toiletries, shoes, hair supplies...and then just stick those in William's suitcase. Or whatever your second suitcase is called, as I imagine it isn't William's.

Take those 3 starting hints and you're well on your way to being an expert packer.



Austin always offers to help, and I usually just pretend I didn't hear him. I'm pretty sure he knows I won't take him up on the offer since I never have - and it's not cause he CAN'T pack...I sure hope any grown person can pack. It's just because I have my efficiencies and they don't include another person helping. It has nothing to do with a control issue, just an efficiency issue :)

So, last night he folded clothes while I packed. And packed. and packed some more. Then, ran over the mental-list with him of the items that are remaining, as well as all the things we need to do before we leave, and by 10:00 Reagan was happily snuggled on top of one of the two suitcases on our floor. He loves that part. Just a few things to add (like toothbrushes - kind of need those unpacked for the time being) and we'll be on our way. Oh, and a few more days of work too...

Happy Monday!

Gotta Love Technology

Some people are very good at remembering and acknowledging birthdays, and Mimi was one of those people. She had a birthday book which she looked in frequently to buy cards and make sure they were in the mail on time. Because of that, I made a conscious effort years ago to make sure I never missed her birthday. Having the number-brain I do, after a couple of years of seeing it written out I had Nov 12 ingrained in my brain. That didn't stop me from obsessively writing it in all my calendars, though, and typing it into all of my electronic calendars. So even though I don't think I'd ever forget it, I had reminders everywhere so that just in case my brain failed me I would be sure to acknowledge her birthday.



That was all wonderful, until I started getting those reminders last night. My computer at home was set to remind me 12 hours prior, so I had a notification. My phone was set to remind me on the day of, so it woke me up at midnight with a notice. Then I got to work and my work computer notified me again. Oh, and every time I look over at my weekly planner I see it written in red ink. So there's no way I'm going to forget.

Which is good. I don't want to forget. But I'm at a weird place where I don't know if I want to remember either. I see her name in my cell phone address book often, and I am torn between deleting and keeping. How can I possibly delete her? But it hurts to see it at the same time. Thus is the case for the birthday reminders, too. How can I possibly turn off my annual auto-reminder on my phone? That seems so cold.

So I won't. And this time next year maybe the reminders will be greeted with more of a smile, a little less pain. That's how grief goes, I've found.

And, to turn the mood from sad to happy - I am choosing to replace sad thoughts with happy memories. Anytime I have a sad thought today (not just about mimi, but about anything...and sad also includes mad in this instance) I am replacing it with a happy mimi-memory. To replace the sad thoughts of the auto-reminders I am thinking of.....

When we used to play Old Maid! She had a very used deck of old maid cards, and at some point one of the grandchildren had made a large crease in the "old maid" card. So, when playing one on one we always beat mimi because we cheated and looked for the crease. Maybe she made the crease blindingly obvious to let us win, you never can tell with grandparents. They're so tricky :) I loved playing Old maid with her, and I probably would have loved it even if I did lose once or twice :)

So - happy birthday Mimi. Thanks for giving me such happy things to celebrate on Nov 12.

Happy 200

Didn't I JUST celebrate my 100th post? Clearly I am prioritizing my work-time well seeing as I am now at 200. YAY! Thanks for being there to read on the other end :)

And now, in honor of being too wordy for 199 previous posts, and in honor of William Wednesday, and in honor of the fact that I found my camera chord, please enjoy this almost worldess post.

My Longest-Standing Friendship

Don't you hate the phrase "this is my old friend?" It sounds bad in 2 ways. Either she's old, and that's not polite, or she's your friend that you've tossed to the curb like you would old grapes or an old couch. So I'll say that Amanda Allen, aka Mandy, aka Trimble Girl, is my longest-standing friend. And to put up with me for the past 18 years says a lot.



I met Amanda in 3rd grade when I joined her YMCA soccer team. She thought I was a snob, as a lot of people tend to when they first meet me (I can't figure it out...) and I thought she was completely immature, crude, and just plain...immature. I don't sound snobby at all!

Over the course of the season though we became great friends. We went to different elementary schools so once soccer season was over we didn't see each other again until the next season. But then following our second season of playing together we then spent the next 7 years in school together. Spent most weekends at each other's houses. Went on family trips. We were inseparable! In junior high people changed our names to Amy and Mandy because we were always together, and to say "Amanda" meant there would always be two responses. Then in high school it changed to Blair and Trimble - so much more mature don't you think? During high school I was really busy with band, so most of my friends were in band with me. I wasn't being cliquish on purpose - just didn't have a whole lot of free time so most of my social life revolved around band events. However, I always had time for Amanda - and she didn't let swimming get in the way of her time for me either.



It hasn't been the easiest 18 years for us; we've had our share (and possibly more) of disputes. But I think that speaks volumes about the love we have for each other. We've managed to work through some pretty big issues and remain close. I think Amanda and I will always be friends - I think there's a connection there that just won't fade, regardless of geographic distance or differences in friends...we somehow remain there for each other. And now that she has a baby boy exactly one year older than mine(and darn near as cute), she's stuck with me for awhile as I ask "so, this time last year did Brayden..." or "How did Brayden learn...". So even if she wants to, she can't get away now!!!



Happy birthday to my first twin, my lovely friend Amanda. Hope Bailey and Brayden shower you with love and kisses!!!

**p.s. I only had about 5 minutes to write this post as I have an all day training at work that I need to run to - so sorry it isn't very well thought out, elaborate, wordy, and a few paragraphs too long like most of my posts. Just had to be sure to get it in today!! :)

Light the Night - A month late

I've been waiting patiently to write about light the night. Waiting until I found the camera chord that mysteriously misplaced itself. Waiting because I knew there were wonderful pictures of the night to be shared.

Then I found the chord.

And found that there were not wonderful pictures to be shared. The lighting is so tough with those balloons having little bulbs in them...either that or I haven't perfected the art of taking pictures with my camera that is too smart for me. Whichever one, I don't know, but the end result is that I have postponed this blog an entire month for apparently no reason at all. And now I'm hit with the daunting task of remembering what to write!

Light the Night...

When I decided to be the team captain I had no idea how much more I would feel a part of the wonderful cause. I felt a sense of responsibility and pride in what my team was able to accomplish. Once they tallied up all of our corporate gift-matching we raised over $10,000!!! That averages to $400 per person on our team, and knowing that there were roughly 7,500 people in attendance means that in theory they may have raised a total of three million dollars! I'm sure not everyone raised $400, but then I'm sure some raised above and beyond. So, maybe $3,000,000 is a little ambitious but even to think that we raised $1,000,000 is beyond my comprehension. A million dollars?!

The weather was absolutely perfect and it hardly felt like we walked 3 miles. Just like last year, it was incredibly moving to see thousands of balloons lighting up the night sky. The gold balloons tug at your heart, knowing that those carrying them have also suffered a loss, but the white balloons help to soothe that pain knowing that there are people who have made it through. The money has helped to learn more and help more people, hopefully help some to win their battles. I wish I could do more to help, but I know that in the least I can walk.

I had a great time walking with my mom, Alfredo, Austin, my coworkers(next year we are hoping to recruit more!), and most of all William. He was quite the handful that night - wanted nothing to do with sleeping, eating, or riding in his stroller...but I carried him with pride (and passed him off to Austin when my arms went weak). I hope he can walk every year and I can teach him about the importance of supporting non-profit organizations such as the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. More than that, though, I hope he can walk so that I can teach him about his grandfather and the fight he had with cancer. William won't ever personally know him, but I hope that I can help him to know who he was.

Thank you SO much to those of you who helped me exceed my goals and be a part of that fundraiser. I have thank-you notes in my purse...literally, they've been in this particular purse since before the walk since I switch often...that I just need to slap a stamp on and stick in the mail, but I'll give you a big thanks here too. I appreciate your support so much - it really means the world to me. So, thanks again to the people I already named, and thanks to my mom, miss jan, and addie for your contributions as well.

Love you all, and promise not to bug you for money again until next year's walk! :)

Inspiration

I've run out of inspiration for my blog! Help! I have been thinking all week about what to write, and the only thing I came up with was William Wednesday. That was a given!

I could write about how William is (i hope) the youngest baby with an iPhone as I now have a NEW PHONE! YIPPEE! I'm sure it won't take him long to realize that other one is no longer as cool since I don't tote it around and snap pictures with it, but for now he's happy that I let him go to town with it. And I'm happy that he isn't trying to tug my new one away from me! He even let me get a video of him walking across the living room last night.

But I don't want to write an entire post about that, I write about apple too much to not get paid for it.

I could write about the wonderful new structure here at work and how we're all taking on responsibilities from people at a higher pay grade to accommodate for a new position that is being created, but I gripe about work too much. Plus I'm trying to take the stance that I'm just blessed to have a job, so I need to do it well and shut up about it. So I won't write about how I already do work above my pay grade, and to add work at a higher level than that even...nope, not gonna do it.

Another topic I've thought about is discussing my new plan for how I'll manage a house while Austin is gone. I've decided after William's bed time I can do one chore per night. That way every Monday I know _____ will be cleaned, and so on. Then on the weekends I can just play with William. But, sometimes I try to avoid sharing how routine I make my life and how regimented I sometimes plan it all out to be, so I will leave this one at that.

And that's all I've got! no funny stories, no exciting news, no upcoming events...that's it. A new phone, new work, and new chores. What a life!

So, I guess I just won't write anything. I'll just say "have a great weekend" and hope that wherever my inspiration ran off to, it decides to return by Monday. Happy first weekend in November everyone - the countdown to Christmas music is upon us!

9 Months Old

9 months ago today I was in a daze in a hospital room with this new little baby who fit so perfectly in one arm, curled up smaller than a soccer ball. I had no idea how I was going to know what he needed, when he needed it, what to do or how to take care of him. This morning I lifted that baby out of his crib while he was still sleeping and had to firmly hold him with both arms as his legs dangled below my waist and his head rested on my shoulder. So much changes in 9 months!!! And somehow I've managed to figure out how to take care of him!

To get the less-fun part of his week out of the way first - we had the appointment with the ENT last Thursday. As far as the appointment goes, he was a rockstar. He let this strange woman wake him from his nap, insert weird things in his ears, close him in an air-tight chamber with little lighting...and he cooperated with all of it! They found his hearing has not been effected by the ear infections/ear drums so that was good news. His ear drums were very inverted and there was a large amount of pressure coming from his internal ear pulling at the ear drum. The doctor did recommend tubes, so we have that scheduled for next Wednesday. I liked the doctor very much! As he was explaining the procedure he said, "I can tell you that this is the easiest, most routine thing I do in my job, but I know you're a mom and that doesn't change your worries. I can tell you that you've already done the most dangerous thing for your baby that you will do that day, which is put him in the car and drive with him, but I know that doesn't help either." His ability to level with me and understand my concerns, regardless of how rational they are or aren't, made me pretty comfortable with him. Plus he said William is his cutest patient ever...true or not, that always helps :) So, that's where we are with his ears.

As for the rest of his week, WHAT A BLAST IT WAS. I think it was one of my favorite weeks to date. This weekend we had made plans to have no plans. Sounds funny to some people, but I am a fast-paced kind of person and constantly planning something...planning my next move, my next trip, my next purchase, my next to-do list, my next excursion...so to have a laid back weekend with nothing to do requires that I make plans for it. So, we did! And it was awesome.

William really took great strides in his walking this weekend. Saturday I think we spent between 30-45 minutes just letting him walk with his walker-toy back and forth across the living room. **side note: if you can think of a cooler name than "walker-toy" please let me know** He would get frustrated when he'd get to one end and we had to turn him around, but by the end of the day he had figured out how to turn with the toy (we have to actually turn the toy, but he can walk with it as it turns) We can also tell that he is figuring out that there is a way to get from point A to point B without getting on the floor and crawling - he is getting more and more creative with what he uses to help himself walk. It used to be that to get from the coffee table to daddy's chair he had to crawl, but now he walks to the end of the coffee table, grabs onto his jumparoo to walk to the back of the chair, then uses the chair to walk to daddy's lap. It isn't faster, but it shows that he's learning about walking rather than crawling. Like I've said before, it is beyond incredible to watch him learn. You can literally see it in his face as he discovers new things. Then Monday morning at school they had a brand new walking-toy. This one is wide enough for 2 babies at once and guess what little William did? I put him down, he crawled over to the walking toy where Helen was playing, and nudged her over a little bit so they could walk together. Miss Jennifer said they walked together on that thing all day!

Friday William slept through 3 halloween celebrations! Well, not completely I guess. A friend picked him up at day care and brought him up to my work so he could tromp around here in his dinosaur/dragon costume. He fell asleep on his way over here and it took a little bit for him to wake up. Then I took him BACK to Goddard for a halloween parade, which he slept through entirely. Then we went to Austin's work for their halloween celebration. He woke up at some point when we were there and Austin had fun playing with him in his office. I have some cute pictures but I can't find my cord for my camera to plug into the computer! I have a specific place I always keep it and it isn't there. I know I didn't put it somewhere else, so one of the other 5 living creatures in my house must have. Reagan, Nancy and Layla do not have opposable thumbs or the ability to stand on hind legs, and William isn't tall enough to reach the shelf where the cord belongs. But I'm not blaming anyone here. Point is, once I find it I will have an entire blog post of just pictures I think.

Sunday William and I went to Petco to grab some drugs for Reagan (drugs, feel-away pheromones...same thing) and there were quite a few people with their dogs. He loved it! He gets so excited when he sees pets and he lets out this high-pitched squeal. The louder the squeal, the more excited he is. Nancy gets the best squeal of all :) He still adores her! Last night he was rolling around on top of her and she just laid there letting him beat her up. I've never seen such a tolerant cat - and its a good thing cause there's no keeping him away. Reagan has even started to some-what warm up to him. He let William pet him through the baby gate. This is major progress!

This weekend we also discovered that he DOES like little puff-foods. I had tried some a few weeks ago and the scene was so traumatic (or dramatic, one of the two) I think it must have just been the flavor though because this weekend we bought some cinnamon-maple puffs and he gobbles them up. It's the cutest thing to watch little babies try to put food in their mouths. It takes an entire hand! The downside to the puffs though is that the entire room smells like maple syrup, so basically I've been craving pancakes since Saturday. He also likes yogurt melts(little globs of dried yogurt). The first time he tried them I think the texture was weird for him, and i think it confused him how the solid food melted in his mouth. He kept his hand over his mouth the entire time he gnawed on it, as if he thought it was going to fall out. He has since figured out that once the yogurt melt is IN his mouth he doesn't need his hand anymore though :)

I've been trying to get William to wave for awhile, and he never seemed remotely interested. Then Monday morning after he joined Helen on the walker I waved goodbye to him and he raised his arm and lifted his hand in the wave position. He gave me a big grin, then lowered his arm again. He didn't move his hand at all, but I'm pretty sure he was waving :)

5 hours later, I think I'm done with this week's update. I had to pause for meetings and working out, so I didn't write for 5 hours straight but I feel like I just vomited William all over you. Sorry for the lengthy update - it was just such a fun week, I had to get it all in! Oh man I forgot the best part of the week..............................to add or not..................ok really quick.....

I'M WILLIAM'S FAVORITE PARENT for now. I know people say this changes periodically, but it is such a treat to be on this side of the favoritism with him. Austin is not very much enjoying it...to which I say "talk to me in 5 months". :)

Ok, I'm done. Have a happy Wednesday.